In my case, during the last 70 years (I didnt ask this question before I was 10 !) I tried to find the right answer each time I had a problem to resolve, about myself or about my relations with others. I got often, when not always, a lot of different answers .
When I summarise all these years of experiences, two points are important :
1. All what you know about yourself, is that you know nothing !
2. You are always defined by the others. So many people you are with, so many different definitions.
To try to define yourself is a worry of young people , not for old chaps as me.