GanymedeRex

What a delightful moment. I think I remember experiencing something like this as a kid, but it didn't turn out so well. Oh, at least there is a possibility for wonderful things with this boy and his Crispen.

It is very difficult to reach someone like Zach you is in a mental prison. It's hard to do. The portrayal of Brody is pretty amazing - he's like a fantasy figure of the hero savior that someone in a desperate situation wishes for but believes doesn't think is possible. Being able to reach somebody like Zach on the part of someone like Brody doesn't work most of the time, which is part of what makes this story exciting, yet it still seems realistic. I see those "I've rescued and abused child" by an adult with a RV or cool farm (or lottery winner) on storylovers, but those are mostly pedo fantasies. Abused kids aren't fetish objects just clamoring for affection; they build a fortress of fear around themselves. Comicality depicted this very well - it is amazing to watch that fortress crumble.

I wonder about Mr. Raffe. I wonder if he represents a teacher Comicality could never please in his life and that this aspect of the story is a way to relive and engage in a victory over this antagonistic teacher. On the other hand, with regards to Zack, I wonder if Mr. Raffe could have helped him become a better writer and that the impression of unrelenting criticism from the teacher is a fair and objective assessment by Zack or not. Between the option of antagonist and misinterpreted but well intended teacher, I'm provisionally going with the first impression rather than believing something more elaborate until the evidence of the story indicates otherwise.

This is my second pass through this. What a beautiful chapter. I really like how he gets into the mind of a damaged, abused person and their thought process. To see Brody breaking through his defenses to 'catch him'. What amazing moment.

Now that I think of it, look at the waste laid by Lloyd so far in the story. How many people are in jail or pending trial? How many people have lost their jobs? How many people have been fined or humiliated? I get that the people all did something wrong, but this is a hugely impactful track record surrounding just one guy, eh?

Isn't evicting a family with 6 hours notice - who had been living on a property for 20 years kind of cruel? Doesn't the country have notification laws for these sorts of things? I can understand not wanting to lease or trying to recover damages to property, but really, I don't understand the reason for this. It seems heartless.

Second pass for this story - lots of smiles!

So far, this story is a great example of the exhilarating and glorious delights of adolescent friendships.

quokka does that a lot in these stories. The irritating people are usually very obnoxious, rude and don't follow common sense - they do what they were told not to and serve as an opportunity for the protagonist to tell them off. The bad guys at 100% wrong and the protagonist is 100% in the right - they bad guys get shamed and slammed with consequences. Same thing in the story about the young guy on the boat who travels between Australia, NA and Falkland Islands. It worked before but is wearing thin - I recommend another approach to introducing complications. Fun story so far.

It was worth the wait!

That was kind of fun! The Tampa series is great. Id like to see Giles go mostly because he's a boring character to date.

Nice details about Tampa (I'm visiting here now!!, the reason I chose this story series today) - Robert seems kind of fast - tattoo and lots of sexual experience for a 16 year old. I assume we will be learning more about his background in Boston...

Dad is a control freak, but Richie is unhinged also. His perspective may have some distortions....

It makes my day when a chapter of this story comes out.

I agree on paper edits - usually I use the screen and only do a printout once. That printout helps though.

Some of the guys are right about reviewing a print out - it really makes a difference. I write electronic documents all the time - we are blind to details in our own writing. When I print it out to read, I always find things that suddenly appear obvious. Don't worry about the environment, paper is a crop (wood pulp) and paper yielding trees are planted as a crop, just with a longer time cycle than corn or wheat. So, if you use paper, you are actually causing MORE trees to be planted. Kind of ironic, eh? Use of paper is an energy expenditure, its not like people are chopping down forests to make memo pads or anything.

This was an amazing story - I loved it. I will raise a glass to you for a job well done. I've looked up the locales. I will miss the places and people from the story. It was informative and inspiring to see how pioneers built their future from scratch.

looks like a village is forming, despite Edwins wishes.

Wow! I was just truly surprised. That doesn't happen very often. This story has been unique and delightful! I'm happy to continue buying DK's works on amazon, but I hope he feeds some public material now and then too.

Yay. Happy ending!

Don't be too hard on the scouts, that's where I got a lot of my middle school action. If those tents at the jamboree could talk...

The school worried about liability! Risable! . They should be worried about compensating the student they disfigured and blinded. I think legally they have to accommodate him under the ada act.

The part about nick was great. It's so tough for an earnest guy like Kevin.

Agree. Can't always let the details get in the way of a good story. If you write something new in the future that has content like this, i can help you or another ga author as kind of a medical editor. I can help get you the result you want and help keep it accurate. Im a doc so I can't help myself.

Pat wouldn't have been discharged from the hospital for that kind of burn. The high school would be in major trouble as well and would be subject to a great deal of liability. High school lab experiments are designed with safety in mind in the concentration and quantity of reagents the students are provided - he would be much more likely to have had facial/eye damage from the broken pyrex than from any acids in the lab. Fortunately, corneal transplants are very routine, even in the early 2000s, and Pat actually would not have to remain blind.