Interesting. I'm assuming these were-people can exist in states from full human appearance, partial animal appearance and full-animal. It was confusing at first but that seems to be the impression I'm settling on by now.
Something about Jordan's reticence and encountering the wolf lodge reminds me of the first time going to a gay bar. I was really nervous the first time and underage. Once inside, I felt like I was in an alien world, but also marveled that it was my world with people like me. It was a special feeling - I kind of get a sense of that in this story.
Once you get over the ridiculous premise, this is a very fun world. The idea of a werewolf civic organization having a recruiter and interspecies politics really works! There are lots of possibilities and I would imaging that a Neko boy would be very cute. Here is an example of a universe premise that opens up a lot of creative possibilities for the author. Well done!
Uh - like what Freshman would ever show up for this? Someone would go to the police? People who undergo hazing rituals do it because they want something - usually to join a group. If they were beating new members of the team, I'd get it. Why would Sam ever want to be on a team with these jerks?
I liked the freshmen.
Such crazy parents wouldn't have let him go to public school. The dialogue, which is well written and easy to follow, sounds late middle-school to early high school so I was surprised he was supposed to be 18.
Interesting frame of mind - his mind is his prison. Not sure the parents are that believable. There are very few people this extreme - so they look a bit contrived and cartoonish.
I'm pretty sure families don't adopt kids without them getting to know each other first. Sam is an interesting name choice - I wonder where he comes from. Looking forward to learning more about this orphan.
Interesting setup makes you want to anticipate the new arrival and how they interact. I don't really like the Ferrari thing at all, even if there is an explanation. Its too extreme to be believable. But, I will read on and see....
I stumbled upon this story on Nifty and checked to see if it were here before emailing a recommendation that it would be better suited to GA. Your writing is most enjoyable and your technical skills are very good. Not only am I enjoying this story, but this chapter in particular made me feel wonderful. It evokes those wonderful memories of first intimate exploration - way before the sex, but those first tentative touches and how we handled them. Bravo!
I DMed Albert today without a reply or indication he read my message so far. His last post anywhere - on GA or Twitter was May 20th. His absence is most concerning. I hope he is safe and doing well but I fear for the worst.