LemonSoda

I'm so bad at committing to long form serialized stories as a reader so if I stop commenting it is me, not you as the writing is very excellent and conveys the emotional whiplash from happiness to grief beautifully. Deliciously angst-ridden so far. Also, I approve of the bold choice in having the perspective character be indirectly responsible for his wife's death. Four kids under five? Bruh. 💀 Of course, in his defense, when I was 23 I was still living with my parents and couldn't have been trusted with one child under five, let alone four of them. Nor was I cooking myself breakfast, let alone while grieving and with a hungry newborn screaming at me. The in laws are my favorite characters so far. They seem like nice people.

this was a clever and often humorous interpretation of the snake bridegroom fairy story. Refugium has an enviable ability to translate fairy tale motifs into new and interesting forms while retaining the familiar elements, making this a delightful read.

As many others have noted, this is challenging because it is raw and realistic, but it is also excellently written and engaging. It has lived rent free in my mind since I read it. However, I feel I need to add a word of warning that isn't covered by the trigger warnings: to my fellow developmentally disabled, mentally ill former-troubled-child readers, this story is parental POV. If you find yourself frequently hurt by opinions shared in support groups that mix us in with our parents (and other loved ones) then you shouldn't read this, either. If you can handle the opinions in mixed support groups then it is a worthwhile read.

was my comment too ambiguous. I shall revise: 1. I love Dave because my favorite character archetype is the tragic hero who brings about his own downfall despite attempts to evade fate. Delicious. 2. It is only the second most horrifying because the first most horrifying involved spider/human BDSM. If we split them into "spider stories that made me want to bleach my brain" and "spider stories that were horrifying in a way that was satisfying as a reader" yours is the first most horrifying and I enjoyed yours much more.

this is the second most horrifying spider story I have ever read. Well written, but horrifying. RIP Dave, luckless slave of the spiders

this is a delightful bit of worldbuilding via mundanity. this is hilarious and masterful and is now on my list of favorite short stories.

hands down my favorite POV as a reader of short stories is second person so I'm delighted to find this story for that reason alone. And then you really pulled no punches on showing how a lifetime of cowardice (encouraged, of course, by societal prejudice) has destroyed the senator even though he's outwardly successful. It's touching that in his final moments he uses his position of power for good, although tragic for him and everyone else that he didn't do so sooner. Still, as they say, better late than never. And that politician language is spot on.

oh no this was in the guidelines I had to read before signing up, wasn't it. Swiss cheese brain strikes again. Thank you for reminding me and apologize that you needed to. LOL this actually is a good reminder that sometimes things I dislike about stories were intentional authorial choices and not problems to be fixed.

Isn't a limited audience the trend across all media? Attention is in high demand, there's more access to both other people's creations and the means to create, and only a tiny minority of any creators in any field will see much of an audience. That said, if I imagine a thousand hits as a thousand individual humans in the room with me that actually freaks me out a little. I prefer to create for a smaller, more limited audience myself. The knowledge that it's a nearly impossible fight to get seen even for people who desperately want attention is the only thing that has ever made me comfortable sharing any creations online. (I assume some of the page views are web crawlers and not actual humans but the point remains: a thousand people in the same room with me would be far too many.) As for reviews and feedback: Reviews are for potential readers. Concrit is for the writers. When the writers can see the reviews you're not going to get honesty in most cases because people are bad at writing an honest review if they are friends with or like someone or if there might be reciprocal reviewing. And I've seen the insane way some professional authors react to negative reviews they had to deliberately seek out, so I can't blame people who only write gushing 5 star reviews in scenarios where the authors will definitely see the reviews. I've also found that most amateur writing spaces don't do well with "unsolicited concrit" because apparently many people think it is obviously socially unacceptable to critique work that was posted. I used to think "Well you posted in this writing space, how is that not soliciting concrit!!!" and other people would say "I can't believe it isn't obvious to you why that is rude!!!!" well the why remains non-obvious but the fact that other people react poorly to it is very obvious by now. So now if I say anything negative it is my emotional reactions to the characters (and thus not intended as any sort of critique of the story itself; I like having strong "WTF ARE YOU DOING" reactions to characters.) I do appreciate the one small crit group I'm in that made the "no unsolicited concrit" expectation explicit--when someone shares a WIP they have to state upfront if they want support or critique so it isn't on the rest of us to hope we intuited correctly about social mores. I think that should be more widely adopted. Put the onus on writers to tell readers what type of feedback they're looking for.

smh this is what I get for not being on the ball with reading these, I missed the Representation. Agreed with other commenters that it is a very sweet story. Ah, the break up with the boyfriend with normal higher libido, a classic. Ian didn't seem to understand boundaries, though, so idk, even if Steve wanted a foursome not sure he should want to be with someone who tries to steamroll over his comfort like that. I especially liked the detail of Steve becoming tense when Giorgio starts trying to snuggle and I also like the detail that the therapist mentioned asexuality since that is the stereotype. But in my tradition of writing reviews as if the characters will read them instead of the authors: Steve. Steve. Forget asexuality. your therapist should have brought up the fact that sensory processing issues are common in Autism and, you know, sex involves a lot of sensory input. just saying.

I was 50/50 on whether you intentionally had leaned into any of this, but if it was personal experience then that makes sense. I didn't intend any violent wakeup calls but uh thank you for letting me know my comment helped. It makes the struggles worthwhile when I can help contextualize for other people. I know most neurotypicals don't get it, and the youths don't usually have the self-awareness or skills to communicate what is going on with them. (Some of them do, though, and hats off to them because I sure didn't at 21.) Anyway, I think frustration is normal given the massive communication difficulties going on. I know my family is frustrated when we fail to communicate because of our brain differences. And I know when I was Avery's age there was a lot of frustration because mm...even knowing the diagnosis it is very difficult for people to know to what extent they should adjust expectations and whether or not they're being too soft on you. It seems that is a bit hard for parents, since they're worried (rightfully) about our survival abilities, and they know that being unable to meet XYZ expectation is going to make survival difficult at best. I also think it is understandable and expected that you'd feel hurt if his normal mode of expressing frustration is to tell you he hates you. I hope he learns to communicate more specifically about what his bothering him, and that he is able to learn he has value as a person despite what his experiences have taught him and I hope your relationship improves.

oh man, count down time, I'm hyped. The first season was everything that my teen self would have wanted except for the lack of Gawyn, so I hope he's in season two. I know. I know. "Everyone who reads the books hates him" I found out as an adult. When I finally talked to other human beings. I still hope Amazon includes him.

I woke up thinking about this story. It's infected my brain. Your description of Ken "my technology will never malfunction" Savage's inspiration is killing me. I can see it. The more I think about it, the more I like that you gave us a brutal, raw look at the deaths of his late husband and his son while the deaths he caused are an abstraction. He acknowledges their humanity in terms of "innocent advocates and members of my community" but as he's probably vaporized all trace of their existence along with them he'll never have to grapple with the reality of any of the dead as individuals. And look, I agree that sometimes revolution is necessary, but I don't agree that vaporizing entire countries is the same thing as revolution. That's more collateral damage than I can get behind. But that leads me to my next thought. Mr. Savage is an interesting character, though, especially as he's been in a position of power within American society while also knowing that if theocrats took over his power wouldn't protect him. The horrifying, targeted murders of his husband and child would have traumatized anyone, but Mr. Savage seems to have never come to terms with the idea that there are elements of reality beyond any individual's control, and from the story framing I assume that the murder of his family is the first time he's dealt with that in more than an abstract way. Now we have a tech genius with control issues running around. And also, the more I think about it, the more I'm judging him for specifically targeting Chechnya. What if there is an afterlife, Mr. Savage? What is that conversation gonna look like? Does he think "I wiped out your entire culture in an act of revenge against the theocrats who murdered you" is gonna go over well? My takeaway is currently "don't let genius gazillionaires have existential crises because they will murder all of us and justify it by saying it was for the good of our own communities." Thanks for the liberation. From life. If there was a continuation, I would be interested in seeing Mr. Savage and his philosophy directly interacting with someone representing the philosophy of Viktor Frankl (why? because Frankl is my philosophy hero/role model) but that is not a demand or even a request. It is a hypothetical "I would find it neat if this happened." The same way I would find it neat if you expanded on it, but it's such a great short story the way it is.

@W_L's Flash of Brilliance marched into my brain and took up residence and since contemplating fascism and resistance inevitably leads me to listening to this on repeat I'm politely inviting everyone to join me in having war song earworms for the next week.

if I ever get murdered in a fascist camp and someone decides the appropriate reaction is to wipe the entire country off the map (and threaten to wipe other nations off the map if their idiot leaders don't comply) I swear I will come back as a ghost and haunt them. If I die because I live in a Red State and someone decides to punish all of us bc of our stupid backwards leaders I will come back as a ghost and haunt them. Sure, your genocide is different, Mr. Savage, because you had personal heartfelt reasons for committing it. This was a really great story. It also made me unbelievably angry at a fictional character. So good job at evoking strong emotion.

The reader in me loves this. Serious nerd vibes with all the jargon going on, but I love that shit even when it's not in my knowledge base. Cracking up at "I'm dating a James Bond villain" yes, yes, you are. I'm still not buying Mr. Savage's logic. "All these poor oppressed people in other countries are being murdered! Let me murder them faster. Their oppressors are dead, too, now, and also all of their families, so it works out to a win." Damn, may as well just kill the whole world off, then there won't be anyone to impose fascism. To be clear, I'm enjoying the story. I'm very invested. I'm angry at Ken, but I'm invested.

this is very interesting as a story concept thus far but I gotta say: Ken Savage, dude, in what universe was this a good idea? leaving morals aside (which I am loath to do. "Sure, this is murder, but they also murder people" is not my idea of a compelling moral framework) are you forgetting the part of reality where you're mortal and someone else can end up in control of your freak ass genocide weapon? what the hell dude, I ask as I click on the next chapter.

I enjoyed the way you used your characters to tell a story about the world around them. It felt as if the story was more about the world, and the characters were a vehicle for exploring worldbuilding, but that worked for me.

Loved your use of the setting and the weather as a character in the story, and your voice for Myles is so strong and clear, and you include so many soul-crushing details about loss and death and destruction and this is very delicious. You have fed my love of angst, thank you. Also, although I don't have selective mutism I do lose the ability to speak aloud when under a lot of stress so I feel great kinship to the selective mutism characters and am thus delighted by Ben's presence.

I read the warning about not reading if you dislike water and promptly ignored it because I like to live dangerously. However, the fact that I'm possessed by the ghost of a cat did not detract from the story, which is hilarious. Even I can see where this pool-as-washing-machine idea would seem like genius under some circumstances and at some ages so I find Ethan perfect shy-awkward-dumbass representation.

You masterfully conveyed the way Grant brought about his greatest fear by his heightened focus on avoiding it, and in so few words. I'm truly impressed. I'm gonna just imagine to myself that Russell breaks into the science department and runs away with Larousse and lives happily with his cat and eventually finds someone who, I don't know, listens to his thoughts and opinions and doesn't run roughshod over his boundaries. That would probably be nice. Good for you, Russell, for escaping with your life. I hope Grant finds a good therapist.

I read this. And then re-read it three more times in a row because this is gold. I don't even know which guest is my favorite none. evict them all. I love it.

I was judgmental when I was young. You know: Everyone else is shallow, all they care about are bars and clubs and hookups. Young me would deny jealousy, but that was definitely it. I wasn't jealousy of the bars or clubs or hookups themselves exactly (they did not and still do not sound fun to me), but I thought bars and clubs and hookups were the required steps to the ultimate goal of Companionship/Not Being Lonely. I was jealous of anyone who could easily take those steps and also enjoy them because it was easier to blame other people for my loneliness than my disability, which wasn't even a new diagnosis for me, but I had still somehow convinced myself I could will my way into being not disabled. By complaining that other people were wrong. It turns out this isn't a successful strategy. It also turns out other people enjoying themselves isn't about me and you don't need bars/clubs/hookups to find companionship. All of this seems so obvious in hindsight and yet...

@raven1 three days, wow. I don't even know what to say. But thank you for the work you have done and for learning. Teaching seems like such a difficult job. @Mrsgnomie ah man, if you're saying both POVs are unforgiving bc of my comments I apologize. I wasn't trying to make a moral judgment by saying Avery's parents were ill-equipped. Nor do I think they were wrong to cut him off to protect themselves; parents shouldn't be martyrs. My only solution (as someone whose experience is on the opposite end of this dynamic from yours) is to prepare in advance if you know you absolutely have to expose the child to something that causes meltdowns and think about their struggles in terms of "child is way behind on (important life skill) which is why (stressful scenario) is stressful." or "child does not process sensory information in the same way as other people which means we are not having the same experience at all and is why this is hard." But don't tell yourself that you're in charge of their mental health. You aren't. You can't be. You can't white knuckle your way into giving them mental stability. If you look back and think "I should have done XYZ different" yeah, if past you had known, but past you didn't know, and your kid's mental struggles aren't actually your fault even if you could have handled some aspects of them differently. That is maybe not the most satisfying answer, sorry.

Avery is very alone. His parents tried but were not well-equipped to meet his needs. I was holding back on my defense of Avery essay but what even is self control??? I think his accusations that his fathers didn't protect him is entirely understandable (the reader knows this is untrue, but it is understandable!). Consider: 1. The story in the 'present' Avery is 21. The beginning acknowledges the maturity gap between Avery and his peers, and that gap grows larger (seriously, I was told I wouldn't reach the maturity of a 21yo until I was in my thirties and uhh let's just say that was true.) It's not as bad when you're 5 or 6 but by the time you're a teenager you're probably lagging a good 5 years behind your peers in emotional maturity. Avery could very well only have reached preteen emotional maturity at the point he and Maverick are having their fight. 2. I've heard different percentages for how much of communication is non-verbal but it seems to always be well above 50% and look. When you're missing out on that much of what other people are communicating? It makes it seem like other people just magically know shit. I thought I didn't have to tell my parents things for an embarrassingly long time because they seemed to magically know all sorts of things I didn't tell them. It's very difficult to judge what you do and don't need to explicitly tell other people when you know very well that they are better at simply knowing things than you are. Why would they not magically know this thing when they magically know other things?! Why do they never know the things you most need them to know, was it not important to them? Why do they act like you, also, should have this magical ability to know things? You obviously missed the class on "how to magically know things" that everyone else took. This is not frustrating and confusing at all and definitely doesn't result in communicating with other people becoming an anxiety-inducing headache. 3. What I am 200% sure was communicated to Avery throughout his life from frustrated teachers, from peers, and unintentionally from his parents: You know what our expectations are, that you don't have the skills to meet these expectations is a character flaw. Other people don't have meltdowns when faced with situations which are sensory assault, you're being difficult on purpose. (and Avery, a child, doesn't know that for other people the world isn't so loud it hurts, they don't find light touch to be like needles in their skin, they aren't wearing sunglasses indoors because the lights genuinely don't hurt their eyes.) He's so difficult and obnoxious, he causes his own problems, if he could just be a different person... I imagine that it would be very easy to have trauma + point 2 + point 3= "I'm too difficult to be worth protecting." Obviously not what his parents believe and not what they want him to learn, but I can see that being something he internalized anyway. So Maverick is blindsided by these accusations, and becomes defensive and hostile in reaction because Avery may be bad at seeing things from Maverick's point of view, but Maverick can't see things from Avery's point of view either. (To reiterate, the author nailed Avery's problems. I wouldn't be so worked up in his defense if it hadn't been very realistic.)