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Daddydavek

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Everything posted by Daddydavek

  1. The lack of paragraphs, like Nephy said is distracting. Unlike her, I never did get used to it and had to work to plow through it. When you get a moment, go back and edit it. It will certainly help. Glad to see the 'dumb jock' isn't so unaware and uncaring as perceived.
  2. Daddydavek

    Dead Hour

    I was surprised but not shocked. This is GA afterall.... Nice intro chapter.
  3. Being a strong believer in karma and that in the end all things balance out, I think it's time for lady luck to smile on Trevor and friends rather than the evil ones. I'm not saying that everything is going to be smooth sailing, but a little bad luck on the part of B'stroke & Co. seems in order. As for as George goes, if he is going to bail on Bridget, the best way would be to set her up in such a way that he could avoid being taken down as well. I can think of several ways that could happen and even a couple that could backfire on him. The next few chapters promise to be very interesting.
  4. When you live in a nice quiet, normal sort of place, murder is always shocking. I'm sure it does feel like you were violated to have such a vile action done so close to home. Being tied to a lamp post and set afire is a horrible thing. It does sound like a hate crime of some sort. No matter the motive, no one truly deserves that fate. I hope the perpetrators are brought to a swift and certain justice by the authorities.
  5. Good job summarizing the possibilities about Rachel. I think Lisa is in for a big letdown regarding the witch Bridget. I agree our esteemed Capricorn will be up to his ugly tail in cliffies because he fancies himself a mountain goat!
  6. Daddydavek

    Unexpected

    Hey Cia! I liked it too.
  7. Marty & Benji, you guys are good. With the glacial pace of this vast opus, I must admit I am a casual reader that was hooked at the beginning. However, I do let the timeline get away from me and really just take too much at face value. The Goat is canny and I daresay cagey about what he says and maybe just as importantly, doesn't say. Good catch and discussion!
  8. Daddydavek

    Chapter 2

    So the little minx is jealous too! Poor Rover, his interspecies attractions keep mounting! Down boy! Pixie remains flighty and Sar is out of the picture still taking care of other business. Hopefully, Felix will have an easier time than poor Glory. But somehow, I doubt it as our fiendish author delights in torment!
  9. Daddydavek

    Chapter 4

    Interesting! It's almost like you are trying to paint with words a ballet, with the changes in focus and the dancing from point to point. I had to read it three times to really see what you were attempting. So that is the reason for the delay in the review. An intriguing but difficult task and it may leave some readers cold. Just as some people do not appreciate ballet or dance.
  10. Another interesting chapter. I was struck with your choice of the word "emplaced" when describing attaching the GPS to the windshield with a suction cup. To me the connotation is of someone being very carefully specific about placing something and we are after all talking about the windscreen of an old but serviceable off road vehicle. So it seemed a little odd. But then again you do throw out these little tidbits some innocuous, some not.
  11. I may be getting ahead of the story, but it seems to me the story is getting close to the time of the Cape St. Vincent near debacle. Wiki has an interesting article: http://en.wikipedia....t_Vincent_(1797) If you get a Did you mean querry and it provides a link to the battle of Cape St. Vincent 1797, click on it to get to the full article.
  12. Daddydavek

    Judas

    Bridget is a cold conniving witch and her dirty cop George is no better. A Cessna was flying by as they went to cross the river. How inconvenient. It seems it was a good thing they went to the station and away from the "K". Joel and Lisa are starting to figure out Bridget, but will it be too late? The buildup to 97 & 98 continues.
  13. Daddydavek

    Chapter 22

    "This is just a transitional chapter, but hopefully it's a fix for you all!" Worked well for me! Thanks, I really enjoyed it!
  14. Daddydavek

    Chapter 6

    Like our poor battered hero, I was surprised that Benny wasn't dead. Nice chapter!
  15. The transition into the new school is in progress. I just wonder if the preppy little kid who called Will a Neanderthal gets a recurring role? I kind of thought he was cool and maybe a potential good friend for JJ. As for Ryan, I think we will see more of him and his companion.
  16. The ending with Morgan in Chase's room was just too delicious. But I am at a loss, the judge asked the kids in to let them decide and neither Coop nor his lawyer learned anything that day? Further Coop (whose contract with the U was negotiated by Kyle) was told to can the book or resign and he didn't advise his lawyer? Cooper is not only a stream of conscious bundle of conflicted emotions, he is supposed to be smart and so far the story has depicted him as loser. Bad things happen to people with their head up their asses and I'm having a hard time generating any sympathy for Coop.
  17. Daddydavek

    Chapter 41

    Great! The Cards win the NLCS and the next good thing is a new PMS Chapter. I am in Baseball Heaven!
  18. It definitely makes sense to follow your heart before you have personal commitments and responsibilities. I think Andy's advice is spot on! Everybody accumulates regrets. Minimizing them is the goal.
  19. I keep hoping for at least a Granger update.....
  20. On occasion I like to read about someone gobbling a pecker but I've never considered those terms in this context. Most well written stories I just breeze through unless the prose sings to me. Then I have a tendency to read and re-read, usually trying to envision hearing James Earl Jones reading it aloud. It doesn't happen often. Jamie, writer of the Scrolls of Icaria has done it on ocassion. Poorly written stories get a once through usually, unless they are really pointless, and then I abandon them and move on.
  21. Daddydavek

    Chapter 1

    Sucked me into another story about that damn cat! You are so bad that you are good. And yes I did get a laugh out the line about Rover and Felix.
  22. Mark Arbour's forum but I also read and post all over as the thought strikes me. Lots of good hosted and promising authors here!
  23. I think it's much ado about nothing, or at most, very little.
  24. Well you stayed true to the story! And I like happy endings!
  25. Daddydavek

    Chapter 1

    I like a good story about regular sorts with a happy ending. Check, Check, Check! Thoroughly enjoyed it!
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