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Daddydavek

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Everything posted by Daddydavek

  1. Daddydavek

    Death & Taxes

    The amount of intrigue in this story is amazing. BS inside lies and misdirection on so many levels. Lawyers as portrayed in this story, including the States Attorney are calculating shills. The police are either dirty or manipulative. Poor Trevor, Shane, Joel and Lisa, they have no idea just how much they were used as pawns and still they are being played as sacrificial lambs, by parents, the mob, law enforcement and just about everyone else.
  2. Having whined in the past about how 'adult' Will was being portrayed and being smacked upside the head with replies reminding me that some kids were really more advanced than others throughout puberty, I bought into the premise. After reflecting, I decided that yes I did know (remember) some kids who were 14 and easily passed for 18, both back in the dark ages of the early 1960's and when I met some of my son's friends back in 1991 when he was 12. So the story has progressed and Will has become a better understood person based on his history and character as developed by Mark. I get the feeling, that Kristen turned out to be a much more pivotal character in Gathan's life than Mark originally envisioned and then got stuck in his long range romance, with separation anxiety and all the other angst that goes with trying to maintain a long range relationship. Sometimes, making believeable characters produces some unintended consequences. Life like fiction, happens. One reviewer opined that the writing got better when the output was not so frenetic and that is probably true, but the writing was never a problem. As I understand it, the problem was where the story was going or not going and that had to be worked out and I think Mark has done a credible job.
  3. In regard to the topic, if there are no shades of gray, then the main characters like the vast majority of people on the planet are less than perfect. Mark Twain had much to say on the topic. Here are some of his quotes: "Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't." "Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." "Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it."
  4. Criminal lawyer Or at least an oxymoron? Sorta like what us grunts used to think of 'military intelligence'.
  5. I heartily second both paragraphs above!
  6. Daddydavek

    Chapter 45

    Great chapter. I really liked that it was Robbie who jumped in as they were piling on Will. The follow up in the car was even better. Dads don't often get a teachable moment that actually gets through to adolescents without coming across as overbearing.
  7. Daddydavek

    Chapter 23

    Storms blew them back to Elba quickly, just in time to meet up with Sir Phillip Kerry whom we learn had news from Caroline. Nice cliffie!
  8. I had the same problem with the site being slow today too. However, I was glad to find the latest chapter this evening. I thought the way Will handled being the "coach" was extremely well written and his reaction to the event and the baby was real. Nice job. His good mood carried into the waiting room and how he handled the crowd, including his brother and Tony. If Will's perception is accurate, it appears Tony will have some more problems trying not to be like his dad. Matt and Wade both dads? Jeanine and Tina de-coupled? Gathan still wallowing in separation anxiety? So many loose ends.
  9. Daddydavek

    Chapter 44

    Will keeps having these amazing quasi-adult moments and thoughts. What a birthday experience. The story has taken an interesting turn now that it looks like the moms are in fact about to break up.
  10. Justice prevailed. As for as Jordan's perspective, it is a hard truth, but he has no idea of what he has gotten himself into. His life in jail will not just be hard, but brutalizing and monotonous. What a waste. Great job Andy. I look forward to the epilogue from Jason's POV!
  11. For your first posted story, I'd say you hit a homerun!
  12. Daddydavek

    Chapter 4

    Well it didn't advance the story much, but it did titillate to no end. Glory is a cat and Sar is captivated by him.
  13. The plot convolutions are seemingly employed merely to make the poor characters suffer and thus the readers with them. I saw damn few answers, lots of hints and still have many questions because most of my assumptions seem to have been false. Lead astray by either a master or a charlatan. Perhaps the next few chapters will prove one or the other....
  14. Well now, some answers, but still so many questions......
  15. Daddydavek

    Chapter 43

    Gathan was a guy who mostly had his shit together. Now he is floundering in a long distance relationship and hasn't realized his life is important and he needs to deal with it or move on. Will is Will, but will he get into the big hunk at the Mission pants?
  16. I suppose he was trying to be tongue-in-cheek, but it did come off as being 'round the bend'. I know writers are supposed to enjoy their work, but I think the goat is getting a bit snarky about trying to set his readers up while his poor characters are suffering, like almost right out of the "Perils of Pauline".
  17. Daddydavek

    Chapter 3

    Rover bonded? Poor Felix, he has to go through all the dislocation and confusion surrounded by a big dog and vampires and perhaps a multi-genus cat like Glory.
  18. Looks like you worked hard on that closing Andy! Good Job! Of course, I'd convict in a heartbeat. Getting twelve jurors to agree on anything is like herding cats. But I think your prosecutor did a good job of refuting the spin put on by the defense. Still, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a split decision with our wiley defendent found guilty of some but not all counts. I guess I'll just have to wait for the verdict.
  19. The lack of paragraphs, like Nephy said is distracting. Unlike her, I never did get used to it and had to work to plow through it. When you get a moment, go back and edit it. It will certainly help. Glad to see the 'dumb jock' isn't so unaware and uncaring as perceived.
  20. Daddydavek

    Dead Hour

    I was surprised but not shocked. This is GA afterall.... Nice intro chapter.
  21. Being a strong believer in karma and that in the end all things balance out, I think it's time for lady luck to smile on Trevor and friends rather than the evil ones. I'm not saying that everything is going to be smooth sailing, but a little bad luck on the part of B'stroke & Co. seems in order. As for as George goes, if he is going to bail on Bridget, the best way would be to set her up in such a way that he could avoid being taken down as well. I can think of several ways that could happen and even a couple that could backfire on him. The next few chapters promise to be very interesting.
  22. When you live in a nice quiet, normal sort of place, murder is always shocking. I'm sure it does feel like you were violated to have such a vile action done so close to home. Being tied to a lamp post and set afire is a horrible thing. It does sound like a hate crime of some sort. No matter the motive, no one truly deserves that fate. I hope the perpetrators are brought to a swift and certain justice by the authorities.
  23. Good job summarizing the possibilities about Rachel. I think Lisa is in for a big letdown regarding the witch Bridget. I agree our esteemed Capricorn will be up to his ugly tail in cliffies because he fancies himself a mountain goat!
  24. Daddydavek

    Unexpected

    Hey Cia! I liked it too.
  25. Marty & Benji, you guys are good. With the glacial pace of this vast opus, I must admit I am a casual reader that was hooked at the beginning. However, I do let the timeline get away from me and really just take too much at face value. The Goat is canny and I daresay cagey about what he says and maybe just as importantly, doesn't say. Good catch and discussion!
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