Millennium - 59. Chapter 59

February 10, 2000

 

“I can’t believe I’m back here again,” I said to Robbie as I clutched my coat around my freezing body. “If this isn’t a true testament of my love, I don’t know what is.”

“The snow is kind of pretty,” Robbie said, as we surveyed the landscape in front of us. Claremont’s city park, known as the Claremont Commons, was one of the few places downtown that hadn’t gone to hell. The snow drifts made the park look slightly hilly, when the ground underneath it was actually flat.

“So why are we here?” I asked, my tone clearly indicating that I didn’t want to be. We’d come out here yesterday for the groundbreaking ceremony for both the new Triton plant and for the start of the warehouse renovation project. Starting the Triton plant before we had the contracts sewn up was a risky move, but after the election, we were committed, and Triton’s execs seemed to think they’d ultimately need the capacity anyway. The warehouse renovation was made viable only when Robbie personally bought one of the larger condos for us.

“Can’t you try and be happy and enjoy yourself?” he demanded, not a little pissed off. “You’re ruining the whole mood.”

“I’m a Californian. My blood is too thin to handle these cold temperatures. It reminds me of the four winters I spent in Connecticut.”

“Snow can be fun,” he said. He picked up a snowball and threw it at me. The snowball hit me, then fell off my coat. I didn't move at all, I just stared at him, a clump of snow still on my coat where it had hit.

“Yeah, that was a blast,” I said, but I smiled to show I was joking, and I was rewarded when he smiled back. “I’m sorry. I really like my life in California, and I’m worried that I’ll end up trading that for this place.”

“I love our life in California too. I don’t want to move here, but I do want to be involved. All I’m really asking of you is that you come with me when you can, and you try to enjoy yourself.” He looked at me, pleading with his eyes for my support. “I’m here, so you’re with me. Isn’t that good enough?”

“That’s good enough,” I told him. “As long as we’re not here all the time, I’ll try to keep a positive outlook and be good company.”

“Deal,” he said.

I caught him off guard and pushed him down into the snow, landing on top of him. He spluttered as the dusty powder flew into his face, and my big body partially knocked the wind out of him. “You’re right, this can be fun.”

“Fuck!” he yelled. “Get the fuck off of me.”

“No,” I told him. I leaned in and kissed him. “I’m testing the limits of the Tolerance Referendum.” He kissed me back eagerly, then it was his turn to catch me off guard and roll over on top of me. I was cold, but I didn’t care; I was actually having fun in the snow.

“So how do you like it now?”

“I’m starting to see the benefits,” I said as he helped me up. “I really like that condo you bought. I think when we have it finished, it will look fantastic.”

“The condo we bought. We’re partners, remember?”

“Even if we’re not Dutch,” I joked. “So why are we here in this park?”

“Follow me,” he said. He led me over to an area with a stand of trees. “You remember this place?”

I smiled. “This is where I first met you. We were wandering around and you were standing right there,” I said, pointing to a spot next to a tree, “with a couple of friends around you.”

“And you were standing right there,” he said, pointing to a spot a few feet from where I was. He made me move over there, to that spot, and dropped to his knees.

“What are you doing?” I laughed as I kicked snow on him.

“I’m proposing,” he said.

“Proposing? What are you proposing?” I didn’t get it at all. I figured this was some big joke.

“I want you to marry me,” he said seriously, and I got that he wasn’t joking.

“We’re already married. We have been since we moved to LA and exchanged rings back in 1986.”

“I know, but I want to formalize it, to have a ceremony,” he said.

“You want to have a wedding?” I asked him.

“Well yeah, only it’s not a real wedding, it’s a commitment ceremony. But to me, and hopefully to you, it’s a wedding,” he said, with all the love he had for me apparent in his voice. “If you’ll marry me, that is?”

“You’re serious about this?” I asked him.

“Yeah I’m serious, now will you answer the fucking question. My legs are freezing,” he said playfully.

I laughed. “Yes, I will marry you. I’m already married to you as far as I’m concerned. And yes, I will go through with this ceremony to announce it to the entire world,” I said. I pulled him up and gave him a really nice kiss.

“Good. The ceremony is on Monday, on Valentine’s Day.”

I stared at him, stunned. “On Monday? This coming Monday?” He nodded. “And you’re springing this on me now? Three days before the ceremony and you tell me we’re getting married?” I was just a little pissed about that.

“You don’t always get to plan everything,” he said, teasing me, and reminding me that I had resolved to make sure he had control of our relationship too. I shook my head, but the more I thought about it, the funnier it was, so I ended up laughing. “I figured I’d plan this for us.” He pulled out an envelope and handed it to me.

I opened the envelope to find an invitation to the commitment ceremony of Bradley Schluter and Robert Hayes, concurrent with the dedication of the Schluter Family Mission. There was evidently a ceremony with a reception to follow. I smiled when I noticed that he’d asked people not to bring gifts, but told them if they felt compelled to do something, donations to the mission would be appreciated. Then I started to digest all the words. They were naming the mission after us? I felt like I had walked into someone else’s life and was being asked to play a starring role. “Does Stef know about this?”

“He knows about the ceremony, but I don’t think he knows they’re naming the mission after your family,” he said.

I reread the invitation, and noticed that I’d missed a word. “It says a musical commitment ceremony? What the fuck does that mean?” I asked him, laughing.

“It means the ceremony will consist of mostly music. I figured it would be more fun that way.”

I laughed, but as I thought about it, I could see his point. “It may very well be. You’ll have to tell me all about it. Do we sing songs from South Pacific?”

“Very funny,” he said, then got playful again. “We’d have to wear Speedos if we did that.”

“What if I would have said no?” I asked, smiling at him. There’s no way I would have done that and he knew it too. “You invited people to this. That would have been pretty embarrassing if I’d have turned you down.”

“If you would have said no, nothing else would have mattered anyway,” he said. Aw. He was so sweet. “Without you, my life has no meaning, so who gives a shit if a thousand people see me get stood up at the altar.”

“A thousand people?” I stared at him, stunned yet again.

“Give or take a few,” he said, smiling. “It’s a big deal to me.”

I finally absorbed it, what he was saying and what he was doing. “It’s a big deal to me too, now that I know about it.” My mind flashed back to that recent scene in his office. “That guy, Jacob. That’s why he was meeting with you!”

“You thought I was fucking him,” he said in a non-accusatory way.

“If you trade me in for that guy, you’re a moron. He’s no competition,” I said, being cocky to hide that that’s exactly what I’d been worried about. I didn’t want to admit that I was that big of an idiot.

“No, he’s not, but he’s a damn good event planner, and I think you’ll be happy with the way he’s laid things out.”

“We’ll see about that,” I replied, sounding an awful lot like Tonto. “So what’s the plan? What do we do?”

He took my hand and started walking. “The first thing I’m going to do is take my thin-blooded partner inside where it’s warm. Then we’ll sit down and hammer out all the details. I thought we could meet Stef and JP and get their input.”

“No,” I told him, a bit too severely. “I’m sorry; I just want some time to digest all of this before I deal with them.”

He looked upset then. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I wanted to surprise you, to make you happy, but this is a lot to dump on a guy a couple of days before it happens.”

“It’s OK,” I said, pulling him back into an embrace. “I like that you did this, it’s really sweet. And I can be spontaneous, or don’t you remember last night?” We’d gone out to dinner and he’d made me so horny I’d dragged him into the bathroom and fucked him senseless.

“I remember,” he said, blushing slightly.

We went back to our suite at the Plaza Hotel. We’d both politely but firmly refused JP’s offer to stay at his wind tunnel of a house. In the end, that was wasted effort, since Stef started the renovations before we got here and the place was uninhabitable. I’d teased Stef mercilessly since I’d managed to book the Plaza’s best suite before he could get it. We took a long, hot shower, and he made love to me, then I made love to him. With the hot water and that strenuous lovemaking session, I was actually hot by the time I got out of the bathroom.

“Tell me about this ceremony,” I said with cheerful sarcasm.

“It’s planned pretty much like a real wedding. We’ll have our parents walk us down the aisle, or whatever, and you’ll need a bridal party.”

“You’re the bride,” I teased. “You’re way more of a bottom than I am.”

He raised his eyebrows playfully. “Not all the time.” I laughed.

“So I have to pick a best man. How many other people do I need?”

“We have it planned for three, a best man and two groomsmen.”

“Groomsmen? I can’t have women?”

He thought about that. “I guess I assumed since it was two gay guys getting married, the wedding party would be all male.”

“Guess again,” I said. “What about the boys?”

“They’re supposed to walk down the aisle in front of us, like ring bearers,” he said.

“Or flower girls,” I joked, laughing. I wanted to make sure that they had a part, and that they weren’t expected to be groomsmen. No way did I want us fighting over who got what kid, although we all knew how it would work out: He’d get Darius, I’d get Will, and JJ would go with whichever one of us hadn’t pissed him off recently.

“They’ll love that,” he said as he laughed with me.

“Alright, so who’s walking you down the aisle?”

“My dad,” he said.

“Who’s supposed to walk me down the aisle?” I asked.

“That’s up to you, but I figured you’d want JP and your mother to do it.” I shook my head and made him nervous. It dawned on me that he’d gotten things pretty firmed up for this wedding, and any changes I made might seriously inconvenience him and Jacob.

“No. It has to be Stef. He’s right up there with you and Will as the most important people in my life.” He smiled at me to thank me for including him in that stratum, even though he had to know he was there. I guess it’s important to make sure people know that you love them.

“Will is the first. How did he react to seeing the stuff about your bio-dad?”

“I’m not going to rank the people I love in order of how much I love them,” I almost snapped. I calmed myself by answering his other question. “He seemed OK with it. I think he found it interesting. I don’t think it’s such a big deal for him as it was for me.”

“I can see that. If you think about it, he’s always known exactly who his dad is, and he has a great relationship with him. You didn’t have that, so it’s more important to you.”

“That makes sense,” I said as I thought about what he said. “He was much more bothered about Jeanine’s pregnancy.”

“She told him?”

I laughed. “No, Darius did. He’s as good at keeping secrets as you are.”

“I kept this ceremony a secret,” he shot back, making a very good point. “Why is he upset about the new baby?”

“I think he’s worried that it will replace him in my eyes. I tried to explain that wasn’t going to happen, but I don’t think he believes me. I think I’m going to have to prove it to him after the baby is born.”

“You two share a bond most fathers and sons can only envy,” he told me. “That’s what’s so amazing about you. You do everything so well.”

“Not everything. I’ve fucked up a lot. I’m trying to learn from those mistakes.” I’d gotten a pad of paper from my briefcase and was making notes on it about the ceremony. I looked at it, and pulled us back on topic. “I have an idea about the ceremony.”

“Let’s hear it,” he said cautiously, probably worried that I’d throw some huge wrench in their plan.

“How about if you have your dad and my mother walk you down the aisle, and I’ll have Stef and JP walk me down the aisle. Your dad will probably melt down into a puddle of Jell-O at seeing his pride and joy get hitched.”

“My dad: a puddle of Jell-O. Right,” he said sarcastically to tease me, then changed his demeanor. “I like your idea. It sounds good to me.” He was happy now, happy and relieved that I’d gotten into the spirit of things.

Before I could go any further, the phone rang. I answered it and found myself talking to Stef. “JP and I were going to go out for dinner. Would you two like to join us?”

“Can you give us a few minutes to get dressed?”

“I have interrupted you?” Stef asked. I could almost see his leer through the phone.

“No, we already finished a round of amazing sex. We were just lying around planning our wedding.”

“So you know about that?” he asked cautiously.

“I do. If you’re lucky, maybe I’ll fill you in at dinner.”

“I am usually lucky,” he said. “We will meet you downstairs in twenty minutes.”

I hung up and told Robbie about our plans, even as I hunted down some clothes to wear. “I thought you didn’t want to talk to them about this until you were more comfortable with it.”

“Now I’m comfortable,” I said, as I threw him a pair of pants. “Besides, you and I agree on everything. It’s no fun planning a wedding if you can’t argue about something. That’s where Stef comes in.”

We met them downstairs and took a limo up to the club. It seems that was one of the few places JP and Stef felt comfortable eating in town. Maybe it was because the staff there knew us and seated us right away, or because they treated us really well. That was nice, but kind of boring. “I like it here, but we should try some of the other places in this town. They do have more than fast food, don’t they?”

“There are a number of very nice restaurants,” JP said in his frosty tone.

“You should show them to me,” I said succinctly.

“Perhaps next time we are in town.”

“So is everything still set up as you planned?” Stef asked Robbie, dying to get to the wedding plans.

“No, Brad already made some major changes,” Robbie said, pretending to be annoyed.

“Oh, and what have you changed?” he asked me.

“You’re not going to congratulate me first?” I loved to tease Stef.

“Congratulations,” he said dismissively. “Now what did you change? I went through things with Robbie and Jacob. What did we leave out?”

“You. You have to give the bride away. Well, I guess Robbie’s the bride more often than I am, so you’re actually giving away the groom,” I teased. I saw him tear up, which wasn’t unusual, but this time it was important. It dawned on me that this had bothered him, not being included; not being treated like at least one of my parents, and that really made me sad to think that had upset him.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“That’s the one thing I am sure of. I’m not doing this unless you’re walking down that aisle with me.” I held up my finger, the one I’d pricked when we’d become blood brothers all those years ago in Paris, and he held the same finger up to mine and we pressed them together. It was our bond, and it was stronger than saying “I love you”.

“Thank you. I would be honored,” Stef said sincerely.

“My plan is for you and JP to walk me down the aisle, while Mom and Frank walk Robbie. I figure Frank will be sobbing inconsolably and he’ll need Mom there to prop him up.” Robbie snaughed.

JP looked at us and I could almost see the wheels in his brain working. “I would not be offended if you wanted Stef to walk you down the aisle alone.” He was worried about the same thing I was worried about, which meant that Stef must really be bothered by this.

“You don’t want the honor of giving me away and vouching for my virtue?” I teased.

“I certainly hope I’m not under oath when I do,” he said, cracking me up.

“Are we not a couple? Should we not do this together?” Stef demanded rudely, surprising all of us, including himself. This was really a big deal to him. He must have kept this bottled up inside the whole time. Even Robbie got it now, and he looked really guilty for hurting Stef’s feelings.

“I think Dad was just trying to make sure that all of my options were open, and that the decision was mine,” I said firmly. “This is how I want it.”

“Well then, I guess that is settled,” Stef said. “What else have you changed?”

“I’d like us to have fun with this. I don’t want it to be all serious and solemn, unless that’s what you want,” I said to Robbie.

“I’m with you, that’s exactly how I feel.”

“Who will be in your wedding party?” Stef asked.

“I was going to ask Ace to be my best man,” Robbie said. They’d lived together at Princeton and were pretty close, even though they could get into some pretty nasty spats. “I’m not sure about the other two.”

“And you?” Stef asked me.

“I want Jack to be my best man,” I answered automatically. Jack was always there for me, and always in my corner. Plus it seemed like the right choice, since he’d chosen me to be the best man at their wedding. I started to think about the other people I’d want up there with me. Lou and Marcel were both important to me, so they might be an option. Max was a good friend, but that might be kind of strange, since he’d been so into me in college and I’d basically dumped him for Robbie. Matt and Wade would be two other candidates. Being involved in something this spontaneous would probably really freak Wade out, and that alone almost made it worth asking him to do it. Kevin was another option, since he was my cousin. But in the end, the other two choices were easy. I turned to Robbie: “I’d like to ask Claire and Cody to by my grooms’ people, if that’s alright with you?”

“I think those are excellent choices,” Robbie said. I was so glad he wasn’t upset about Cody. It made me happy to think we’d gotten beyond those insecurities. “I still need to figure it out.”

“I have a suggestion for you, if you don’t mind,” I said diplomatically.

“I don’t mind at all,” Robbie said cheerfully.

“How about Jeanine and Matt?” I watched him consider that. “It will be nice to include Jeanine, and she likes you better than me anyway.”

“Most people do,” he joked.

I ignored him. “And I think it would mean a lot to Matt to be included too.”

“I like it. Let’s go with it,” he told me.

“And you are still going to write your own vows?” Stef asked.

“Mine are already written,” he said, giving me a smarmy look.

“Asshole,” I teased. “We’re writing our own vows?”

“Don’t you think that’s best?” he asked.

I thought about it. “Makes sense.”

“We thought a few readings would be nice,” Stef said. “Not religious readings, but perhaps poetry, or something like that.” I watched Robbie, and could tell by his reaction that he didn’t want readings or shit like that any more than I did.

“You know, I think that the only real words that matter there are the ones we say to each other,” I told Stef, but my eyes were on Robbie, and I could see how much better he liked that. “Let’s keep it short and simple, with a procession, our vows, whatever mumbo jumbo Father Tim wants to toss in, and some songs.”

“What kind of songs do you want?” Robbie asked.

“What were you planning?” I asked, remembering that I didn’t want to upset things too much.

“We have one planned for the beginning, and one planned for the end,” he told me.

“I’d like us to pick songs that remind us of each other,” I said. “How about if we do this,” I suggested. “Why don’t we each pick a song that reminds us of the other. We can either have someone sing it live, or we can have someone spin a record.”

“I’ve got the perfect song for you,” he said.

“For you, I’d pick ‘Burning Love’ by Elvis. A hunka’ hunk of burnin’ love. That’s you,” I told him as I gave him my sluttiest look. Stef giggled and Robbie blushed. JP sat there stoically. “Maybe we can throw in ‘Cold as Ice’ by Foreigner for JP.”

“Very funny,” JP said in his bitchy voice, making the rest of us laugh.

“We’ll figure it out,” I told Robbie reassuringly.

“I asked Wally, Clara, and the kids to fly back with us tomorrow and to stay over for the ceremony,” Robbie said. “I hope that’s alright?” We all nodded. “Only Gathan, Zach, and Ella can go though. Wally has to work, and those three were the only ones with semester grades good enough to warrant missing two days of school.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” I said. I liked those kids, and it would be fun to show them our world. It would be important to Robbie that they were there.

“Well, we will certainly have a busy weekend,” Stef observed. That was an understatement.

February 11, 2000

The limousine pulled up in front of Wally and Clara’s house, exciting no small amount of attention on this block of blue collar families. Robbie and I walked up to the door to talk to Wally and Clara and pick up the kids. Clara led us in and had us sit in the family room while the kids finished getting ready.

“I am so sorry we can’t be there for you two,” she said sweetly.

“I tried to get time off, but my supervisor isn’t one of your biggest fans,” Wally said. Someone who didn’t like the Referendum, evidently.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Thank you for letting Gathan, Ella, and Zach come out,” Robbie said, taking the lead. These were his relatives, after all.

“They’re very excited, and the others are green with jealousy. I’m guessing we’ll see better report cards from them this next semester,” Wally joked.

“I, uh,” I stammered, nervous about interfering, but feeling the need to do so anyway. “I understand how you feel about us not spoiling the kids, and we’ll do everything we can to respect your wishes. I’m not sure that I’ll be able to control the other members of my family, though.”

“You mean Stef?” Wally asked, cracking us all up.

“I mean Stef,” I agreed.

“It’s alright Brad. We raised good children. They’ll be just fine. We’ll just have to do our best, the four of us, and hope he doesn’t do too much.” Clara was such a nice person.

“We can hope,” I joked. The three kids came stampeding down the stairs, which seemed to be what they did in this house. They were excited to get going. They each carried a tattered and battered looking suitcase. I smiled, thinking they probably wouldn’t return with them.

“We’re ready,” Gathan announced. They said tearful goodbyes to Wally and Clara, and I had to remind myself that leaving town for a weekend was common for me, but unheard of for them.

“Nice car,” Zach said as we walked out to the limo. They greeted JP and Stef and then chattered away about how excited they were to see California, and mountains, and the Pacific Ocean. When we got to the plane, they were really surprised.

“I thought we were going to the airport,” Gathan said, having expected a long ride to Columbus.

“Well, there are planes taking off and landing here, so I think this fits the bill,” I said, being a smartass. He gave me a dirty look as the pilots took all of our bags and stowed them while we climbed aboard.

“I meant I thought we’d be flying on an airline,” Gathan said as he sat down.

“No, this is my plane,” Stef said. “I hope you like it. You may help yourself to food in the fridge and pantry, and you may want to do that before Robbie does.”

“Ha, ha, ha,” Robbie said sarcastically. The pilots briefed them on the safety instructions, since this was their first flight, and then we were off. I watched Gathan try to stay all calm and cool even as he was rocketing into the sky. It was too funny. They stared out the window, watching their city get smaller and smaller. I was hoping they’d realize just how much there was to see in the world. They may decide to spend their lives in Claremont, but I was hoping they’d do that because they wanted to, not because it was the only thing they knew.