Unforgivable - 4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Jason felt a wave of nostalgia as he pulled into the driveway of his childhood home. He’d been asked to arrive as early as possible since his parents were having a few out of town guests over for a barbeque. Judging from the cars parked along the street and in the driveway, he was a little late. Reaching into his trunk for his bags, he looked up upon hearing the front door open.

“Jason!” his little sister, Katrina, squealed, running down the steps to his side, and wrapping an arm around his waist. At twenty she wasn’t so little any more, but at only 5’5” she was still what he teasingly called the ‘runt’ of the family.

“Hey, runt,” he said with a grin. “Everyone else already here?”

“Mostly,” she answered, squeezing him. “Aunt Judy and Uncle Manny are here… so are the Johansons, Nana and Papa Sedor, and Grandma Lewis. Uncle Neil and his new girlfriend are supposed to arrive soon. Oh, and Liz’s mom, Emma, is here too.”

“Are Corey and Pierre coming?” Jason tried to sound nonchalant, but he wasn’t sure how well he succeeded.

“No,” she answered, walking beside him to the front door. “Drew said they aren’t getting into town until later. He and Liz are meeting them for dinner.”

Jason wasn’t sure if he was happy with the news or not. He wasn’t really looking forward to a reunion, but he wanted to get the meeting over and done with… with as few spectators as possible.

He stepped into the house to the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen. Putting down his bags, and hanging up his tuxedo, he let his sister pull him towards the back of the house. Standing around the island were his brother’s fiancée, both moms, his aunt Judy, and his grandmothers. They were cutting up vegetables and fruit, giggling about something. His mother looked up when he entered the room, and a wide smile brightened her face.

“Jason!” She put down her knife and rounded the corner, arms open for a hug. “You finally made it.”

After giving everyone a hug, he leaned against the fridge, taking in the scene. It was impressive how easily Liz fit with his family. Drew made a great choice in his bride. When the women started discussing lingerie, and garter belts he beat a hasty retreat outside where the rest of the men were drinking and manning the grill.

“Son.” His father raised his drink in greeting. “Glad you finally made it.”

“Thanks, Dad,” he said, sitting in a lawn chair near the pool. Drew was sitting by the cooler, and handed him a beer. After a few pleasantries, he allowed himself to lean back in the chair and relax in the warm sunshine.

“You look good, Jase. I guess the change in location agrees with you?” Drew tapped his knee with his bottle.

“I heard you moved to Kingston,” Glen Sanderson, a long-time family friend, said. “How do you like it?”

“It’s only been a couple of weeks,” he answered, taking a sip of his drink. The cold liquid felt good going down. “But so far it’s been great. The staff is experienced, and the firm found me a two bedroom in a pretty nice area of town.”

“It must move at a snail’s pace next to downtown Toronto?” His uncle Manny smirked. Jason’s love of the city life had never been a secret in his family.

Jason chuckled. “It does, but the work is interesting, and I’m enjoying running my own office.”

The questioning stopped temporarily when his uncle Neil arrived, and his father announced the food was ready. Although the barbecue was delicious, and Jason enjoyed visiting with the family, the comments about living in Kingston were starting to wear on his nerves. When Drew and Liz said their goodbyes so they could meet up with Corey and Pierre, Jason also made his escape, claiming he wanted to go for a run to stretch his legs. He loved his family… but there was such a thing as too much reminiscing.

The next morning he woke to the smell of bacon and coffee. Throwing on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, he left his bedroom and stumbled to the bathroom. When he finally made it to the kitchen, the smell of breakfast had his stomach rumbling.

“Good morning, baby.” His mom grinned at him as she placed more bacon on some paper towel to drain.

“Mornin’, Mom,” he mumbled, grabbing a mug and sitting beside his father at the table. The older Sedor looked up from his plate with a smile.

“Sleep well?” he asked.

Jason yawned and reached under his shirt to scratch his belly. “Yeah. I forget how well I sleep in that bed.”

With a chuckle, his dad returned to the feast in front of him. When his mother placed the plate of bacon on the table, he heard someone come into the room.

“Good morning, family,” a sickeningly cheerful Andrew said, giving their mother a kiss on the cheek.

“Where’s the fiancée?” Jason bumped his brother’s shoulder, reaching for the eggs.

“She left early to go have breakfast with her mom, and drop off her bags at the hotel,” the younger blonde said, popping a piece of bacon into his mouth. “Apparently, after our meeting with the hotel manager, I’m not allowed to see her at all until the ceremony.”

Snickering, their mother sat beside her husband. “Well, that is the tradition.”

The family settled in to one of Ruth Sedor’s delicious breakfasts. As always, there was an enormous amount of food for the mountainous Sedor men. It didn’t take long for them to lay waste to a pound of bacon, a dozen scrambled eggs, toast and a few stacks of waffles.

Later that afternoon, Drew found Jason sitting out on one of the lounge chairs, drying off after a dip in the pool.

“Hey, Jase,” his little brother flopped onto a chair next to him. “You ready for tonight?”

Jason grinned, adjusting his sunglasses. “Oh yeah. It’s been a while since I had a night out.”

Drew gave him a funny look. “How are you enjoying Kingston?” he asked finally.

“It’s been great, so far. The office is slowly coming together.”

“I have something I need to tell you,” the younger Sedor said, biting his lip.

“Uh oh, what did you do?” Jason grinned at him, but the smile slipped when Drew didn’t smile back. “What’s going on, Drew?”

“I never told you this before because I wasn’t sure how serious you were about moving…,” his sibling spoke in a rush.

“Whoa, slow down.” Jason sat up and swung his legs to the patio stones, facing his brother. “What has you so worked up? Is this about Liz?”

“What?” The other man looked up, startled. “No, not about her. Ummm.” He stared at the water sparkling in the pool, before taking a deep breath. “Corey’s lived in Kingston for the last three years.”

“What?” Jason was shocked. Sure, Drew had stopped talking to him about his friends since that summer, but why wouldn’t he have mentioned this. “Why didn’t you say anything before?”

Drew sighed, his guilty gaze meeting Jason’s. “Like I said… I didn’t know how serious you were about moving. I was sure you’d change your mind, and stay in Toronto.”

Jason groaned and lay back against the chair again. “Jesus, Drew. You should have told me. What if we’d run into each other?”

His brother exhaled loudly. “Yeah, I know. This has been driving me crazy.”

“Does Corey know?”

“No.” His younger brother’s guilty expression returned. “I didn’t want to tell him.”

Jason grimaced. “Why would you think I would change my mind about relocating?”

“You loved your life in Toronto.” Drew looked him in the eye, his concern was easy to read. “Well, you seemed to until last year.”

“Look,” he said with a sigh, closing his eyes. “Something did happen, but I don’t really want to talk about it, ok?” He could hear the plea in his own voice.

Without looking he knew Drew was watching him. “Ok.” The younger Sedor finally spoke. “Promise you’ll tell me some day?”

“Maybe someday.” It was the only promise he could make.

That evening, Jason was trying to haul his drunk, not so little brother back into the limo when he looked up and saw a familiar set of bright green eyes. Those surprised eyes met his before anger clouded them. His chest tightened in disappointment, realizing that Corey still hadn’t forgiven him for what had happened with Pierre.

The ride to the bar was awkward, to say the least. Corey spent a good part of the night avoiding him. Although each movement was subtle, Jason took the snub for what it was. Not wanting to cause a scene by pushing, he gave the brunette his space. Early in the evening, he did get the opportunity to exchange a few pleasantries with Pierre, and found the man to be far less hostile than his friend. The redhead wasn’t exactly friendly, but Jason didn’t feel the need to protect his balls around him. It was a start.

After midnight they were at a strip club his brother’s friends dragged them to, when Pierre excused himself from the table. In a spur of the moment decision, Jason decided to follow the redhead. He knew it wouldn’t make what he did go away, but he wanted to apologize to the younger man for his behaviour while they were dating. It wasn’t going to be a comfortable conversation, but lately the urge to make some sort of amends had been getting stronger.

He followed the other man to the restrooms and waited outside, leaning against the wall. When Pierre came out his eyes widened in surprise. “Jason,” he said, sounding wary. “What are you doing out here?”

“I wanted to talk to you. Can we go somewhere?” He looked towards the front door. “Outside maybe?” The other man eyed him suspiciously for a moment. “Please?” After staring at him for a long minute, the redhead slowly nodded.

“Ok… outside.”

Leading the way, he looked around and spotted a quiet area near the limo. Jason sat on a wooden fence that surrounded the property, inviting Pierre to join him. The redhead sat gingerly, and turned his grey-eyed gaze on him.

“So? What did you want to talk about?”

Jason took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts… and his courage. “I’m sorry,” he finally said in a rush, turning away from Pierre.

“Excuse me?”

The big man turned to Pierre again. “I said I was sorry.” He looked directly into the smaller man’s eyes, and tried to convey his sincerity. “I’m very sorry for how much of a prick I was to you when we were dating. I was a real jerk.”

“Yes, you were.” Pierre agreed… his expression serious. “I was in love with you, you know?” Seeing those grey eyes turn glassy with unshed tears, Jason again regretted the hurt he’d caused. Pierre was always a sweet guy, and he’s been a bastard to take advantage of the inexperienced boy’s kind and trusting nature.

“I know,” he said quietly. “We never should have gotten involved. I knew I wasn’t looking for anything serious… and I knew that you were.”

“Why did you ask me out then?” The other man’s tone had hardened.

Jason shrugged. “I was a horny 20 year old. You were cute and available. I knew you’d never sleep with me if we weren’t dating… so….” He felt like an asshole for his admission, but it was the simple truth.

“Wow.” Pierre sounded angry. “You’re a bigger pig than I thought. Did you ever care about me at all?”

Jason rubbed the heels of his hands over his eyes. “I always thought you were a nice guy, Pierre.”

“But you never really cared about me… as your boyfriend.” It wasn’t a question.

“No,” he finally admitted, reluctantly. The conversation wasn’t going well, but Jason resolved to stay put and take his lumps. Pierre deserved that much for what he’d done to him. “I didn’t really care about much besides getting laid back then.”

“I never expected you to actually admit that.” Pierre’s laugh had no humour in it.

“I don’t want to lie to you.”

“What makes now any different than when we were dating?” Pierre muttered. Ouch… that hurt.

Jason took a chance and reached out, taking Pierre’s hand in his. “Pierre, I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, and I was a total shit for stringing you along, and making you believe I was committing to you. I know I took advantage of your feelings for me, and for that I am truly sorry.”

Pierre stared at him, mouth open in shock. He blinked back tears, and turned away. “Why are you telling me this now?” the redhead said quietly, still facing the parking lot.

“I….” Jason didn’t know what to say.

Pierre turned back. “I think you at least owe me that much.”

Jason felt panic knot in his stomach. He hadn’t told anyone what happened with Luc, and he wasn’t sure how to begin.

“Someone hurt you, didn’t they?”

Jason met smaller man’s curious gaze. How did he know? Was he that easy to read? Pierre smiled sadly… squeezing the hand Jason still held.

“I can see the pain in your eyes. What was his name?”

The blonde stayed silent for several minutes before finally answering. “His name is Luc Trudel. He owns a restaurant in Toronto.”

“It’s been rough on you, hasn’t it?” Much to his surprise, Pierre actually sounded concerned.

Jason squirmed under the scrutiny. The direction the conversation was taking was more uncomfortable than Pierre’s earlier censure.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Pierre said quietly, squeezing his hand again. “I can see how much this affected you.”

Jason smiled at the other man, relieved. “Thank you.”

“Jason.” The redhead’s voice was strong, but low. “What you did was cruel, but I moved on a long time ago. I met a wonderful man, who I’ve been with for almost four years. I can see us marrying someday.”

“That’s wonderful, Pierre.” Relief made Jason’s guilt ease, knowing Pierre was happy now.

The other man chuckled. “Did you seriously think I would still be pining over you after eight years, Jason? You weren’t that great.” Pierre teased.

The big blonde laughed. “I guess I deserved that.”

“You did,” Pierre agreed. “But seriously… although I did get over you, and I’ve moved on with my life, I’m grateful to you for giving me some closure. I think I suspected you were using me….”

“I’m sorry….”

Pierre waved away his apology. “I know you are. I want to thank you for that too.” The smaller man leaned forward slightly, looking him directly in the eyes. “I forgive you, Jason. We may never be friends, and we may never see each other again after tonight, but I forgive you.”

Jason’s breath hitched. He’d hoped his ex-boyfriend would give him a chance to apologize, but forgiveness wasn’t something he allowed himself to hope for. “Thank you, Pierre.” His voice was rough with emotion. “I don’t deserve it, but thank you.” He reached out, and pulled the other man into a hug. “I hope I hear from Drew that he’s been invited to your wedding someday,” he whispered. After a moment’s hesitation he felt arms move around his back, returning the hug.

“I…”

“What the fuck is going on here?” The sound of Corey’s angry voice startled both men. “Get the fuck away from him. He has a boyfriend, you jackass.” Corey pulled Jason away from his smaller friend, making the blonde have to grab the wooden fence before he fell backwards.

“Cor….” Pierre grabbed Corey’s arm, making him turn. “It’s not what it looks like.”

If possible, Corey looked even angrier. He pointed an accusing finger at Jason. “He can’t be trusted, Pierre. You of all people should know that.”

Regret and sadness threatened to swamp the older man. There was no way Corey was ever going to forgive him. There was too much resentment there. Knowing what Corey’s father was like, the reaction didn’t surprise Jason.

“Corey, please listen to me….” Pierre’s breathe hitched.

Not wanting to anger the brunette any further, Jason decided to go back inside. “I’ll leave you two alone to talk.”

“Yes, leave…” Corey’s parting shot made Jason pause for a moment before continuing to the bar. His brother was currently sprawled on the upholstered bench seat, laughing at something one of his friends had said. Drew was going to be a wreck tomorrow. Maybe it was time to get him home to sleep it off? The other men protested half-heartedly, but finally agreed it was time to get Drew into bed so he would be in shape for the ceremony. Jason had just gotten Drew standing when Corey and Pierre walked back through the door. Hitching his brother up against his side, he wondered what was going to happen when Corey realized they were living in the same town again. They’d somehow managed to avoid running into each other, but sooner or later they were going to cross paths. With a sigh, Jason led his brother to the exit. “Come on, Bro… time to get you home.”

Thank you and a big  to my amazing editor, Gary, and thank you to everyone who reads and supports this story.