Morningstar: The Malaise - 46. Chapter 46 Shining a Bright Light into Darkness

Morningstar: The Malaise

Chapter 46

Kellar was still on the floor of Arthur’s room when Tobyn returned. “What are you doing on the floor, doc?”

“Thinking… or not thinking, maybe?”

“Ah, not sure I understand that.”

“Do you ever feel like checking out?”

“What’s going on? Should I be concerned here?”

Kellar smiled as Tobyn squatted in front of him, his expression intense. “No. Nothing to worry about at all. I’m happy.”

“Okay… that’s good.” Tobyn drew out the ‘okay,’ and Kellar’s smile turned to a chuckle.

“Help me up, babe. I don’t want Delia to think I’m nuts too when she comes back.”

Once he was standing, Tobyn wrapped strong arms around his waist. “I don’t think you’re nuts, but do you want to explain what you meant about checking out?”

“I would if I knew myself.”

Tobyn’s eyebrow raise forced him to continue.

“Look, I’m happy… so happy in fact, I’m kind of overwhelmed.” Tobyn’s eyebrow stayed up, and Kellar sighed. “We just gave Logan back his life, and that means we are giving Tilly her mate. That’s enough by itself, but, babe, we just gave a man back his wolf after almost eighty years, and a lady I love to death is going to have her other half back. That’s six sets of mates in one trip. I’m over the moon, so I kind of got out of my head for a bit and just enjoyed it. I’m in the present again, though, and it’s hard not to see why Vega sees significance in that painting. I don’t know why, but my brain keeps returning to that image and what it might mean. With Arthur, I think we just gave more credence to the prophecy, didn’t we?”

“Yes, I think you did, but I don’t understand… are you okay with that or not?”

Kellar stared into the hazel eyes of the man he loved more than anyone or anything else. Others mattered, but not like Tobyn did. “I’m trying to be… I am, although I’m not going to pretend it isn’t freaky. As long as you’re at my side, if they want to think of me as Cahlar reborn, I guess I’m good with it. I’m not going to encourage it… I’m not even going to acknowledge it, but if it gives shifters hope, then I have to accept it could be a good thing.”

“That’s my mountain man. You know I’ll always be by your side. It’s okay to struggle with how you’re perceived… but I conceded a while ago the earth mother has her plans for us. If people see you as our savior, even more so because of Arthur, what does it matter, really? It may help ensure Vega makes the best decision for all shifters. It’s a process for everyone. So you’re good?”

Kellar digested Tobyn’s reasoning, and saw no flaws… still, a slight trepidation simmered beneath the surface, and it tempered his celebration of this new accomplishment. “I will be. Just keep being patient with me, and I’ll get there. I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry as hell. I wonder how the meeting went last night.”

Tobyn gave him a measured look before re-tightening his hug. “I know deflection when I see it, but I’ll allow it this time. As for the meeting, I’m wondering too. If Delia doesn’t say anything when she comes back with breakfast, it probably isn’t good, speaking of which, I can hear her coming.”

“So can I,” Kellar said, happy this particular conversation was over. He was starving… and damned tired of thinking.

The door opened and they parted, with Kellar’s attention diverting to the aroma-filled cooler she carried.

Vega pack had cooks who could give Morningstar’s a run for their money. Despite eating late the previous evening, Kellar dug into Eggs Benedict like he hadn’t eaten in days. Delia and Tobyn exchanged amused looks that weren’t missed by Kellar. He took the time to grin while he kept chewing. It wasn't his fault he was always hungry lately. Healing was to blame.

Delia was pouring them coffee from the insulated carafe when Kellar finally had his fill. “So, are we going to talk about the elephant in the room now?” he asked, grabbing one last piece of bacon as he looked at the keeper.

“Do you mean the amount of food you just ate?” Tobyn teased.

“I’m a growing boy, babe.”

“You grow anymore and I’ll need a stepladder.”

“Nah, I’ll just pick you up,” Kellar teased.

Delia was watching the two of them after she distributed the mugs of steaming brew. “Anyone want cream and sugar?”

“No, thanks,” Tobyn answered for both of them.

“Seeing how close you are is beautiful, but it’s not helping right now,” she said with blunt honesty. “It makes me want to jump in my car and go find Hutch. I hope we’ll have what you guys do.”

“You will, Delia,” Kellar said. “For some it’s instant, and for others, like Tobyn and me, it took some time.”

“Really? I mean I know it’s different for each couple… I just can’t imagine it taking you guys any time at all.”

“Uh huh. For sure we were very attracted to each other, there’s no denying that, but we didn’t know what it was so we were able to sort of ignore it for a while.”

“Yeah, but we were always connected, doc. Right from the beginning.”

“That’s true, we were. We couldn’t get to sleep unless we were in the same room. It’s comical to think of it now, but at the time it was anything but.” Kellar was looking at Tobyn as he spoke.

Delia gave a wistful sigh. “I guess it doesn’t matter how we start out. It’s hard to be patient, knowing he’s out there, but I’ll do my best because Clarence needs my help. Does Hutch know he has a mate? Does he know about me?”

Kellar, unsure what to say, gave Tobyn an imploring look, and received a slight eye-roll in return. “Not yet, he doesn’t. At least I don’t think so. My mother didn’t want to cause any disruption until Vega decides what it wants to do going forward.”

“Disruption? Why would there be a disruption?”

Tobyn softened his voice. “Because Hutch is the kind of guy who would jump in his truck and come straight here.”

“Oh, that’s sounds so romantic.” Delia’s face took on a flushed glow as she focused on her half-raised coffee cup. “I don’t see why it would be a problem.” Her words came out as a whine.

“It wouldn’t be, not for you and those others with mates, but what about the ones who don’t have a match yet? Shouldn’t your discussions take place without any outside interference? If five… six earth mates showed up, it could cause some inner resentment. I’m not saying it would, but there’s a time and place for everything, and trust me, Elinor Berenger the leader, is smart about these things. In the end, earth mates will make their own choices as to where they want to live if Vega turns down the offer, but the enormity of your situation requires a decision for the entire pack be made without influence. All members have to be happy with whatever conclusion is reached. I see my mom’s point, and it is only a couple of days of withholding the news.”

“I guess I see her point too. I can’t concentrate now, so it would probably be much harder if Hutch was here.”

Tobyn gave her an exaggerated nod. “Count on it. Most of your focus would be on him.”

Kellar thought it the perfect lead in to ask about the meeting, but he chose not to interrupt the quiet as they sipped their coffees. He had sympathy for Delia and the position she was in. “What do you think, babe?”

“I’m not bringing up their meeting now. Delia hasn’t said anything, so we can wait to hear from Clarence.”

“Okay. I think she’s got enough on her mind.”

“I guess we should talk about that elephant in the room you mentioned earlier.” Delia had a small smile on her face. “I’m assuming you guys are curious about last night?”

“So much for leaving it alone,” Kellar sent.

“We are,” Tobyn responded to Delia, “but we don’t want to put you on the spot. We can wait for Clarence to tell us the pack’s decision.”

“That’s the thing… there is no decision. Not yet, anyway.” Delia sighed. “You’re not putting me on the spot. We have some members who don’t want to move, and Clarence insists we have to be unanimous. It was a very difficult meeting. No one wants to minimize the concerns of others.”

“So, is no decision a decision of sorts?” Tobyn asked.

“No, I don’t think it is. I have to admit I’m quite torn on this myself. I know what needs to be done for the benefit of all, we all do, but there are graves here that some don’t want to leave. One couple has an eight-month-old daughter and two stillborn sons buried in our graveyard. They’re in their sixties, and having a hard time with the thought of moving away from them. And they aren’t the only ones who have the same issue. There was a suggestion of moving the graves and that did not go over well. They say for the rest of us to go and they’ll stay behind, but we can’t do that. We can’t leave a small group of them here… it wouldn’t be right and it wouldn’t be safe. There’s only twenty-four of us left, and we have to stick together.”

“That’s understandable. I must admit I never thought about those kind of ties,” Tobyn said. “Our graveyard is special to us in the same way. So, where does the situation stand now?”

“We meet again… right after lunch this time. Last night went on too long. Clarence said he’d be talking to your mother this morning about some things that came up… mostly about what our obligations would be if we do make the move.”

“Obligations?”

“Yeah. I think the biggest is what happens if we do uproot ourselves, and some decide it’s not for them. They just want it clarified they wouldn’t be obligated to stay for a certain length of time.”

Kellar was surprised at that one, and he could see the same reaction on Tobyn’s face.

“Any shifter can come and go at Morningstar. Isn’t it the same here?” Tobyn asked. “Denver left, after all?”

“Yes, of course. I got the impression some were just reaching for reasons to maintain the status quo, and Clarence understands that. He’s playing the game, and giving everyone more time. Logan attended; he was wheeled out on his bed and I was so proud of him. It was wonderful for all of us to see him so calm and rational. He didn’t say a lot, but his words held weight. He told us he would do what his father thought best, and that his designation as future alpha of Vega meant nothing if the pack wasn’t healthy and thriving… said he would gladly give it up to ensure our survival. That boy had everyone’s attention when he said he didn’t want to see another person get sick and suffer like he had, or go through the pain of another baby being stillborn. It definitely swayed some of the members.”

“Exactly what Clarence intended.” Kellar sent.

“Yup. Makes me even surer he should be one of the leaders at Morningstar. He’s a smart and caring man.”

“Well, that sounds promising. My mom and Clarence would get along well, and I guarantee there won’t be any restrictions or obligations for Vega. Any help we get to run the businesses will be appreciated, but it won’t be a requirement. Our leaders only care about getting shifters healthy again, and we all know what that’s going to take.”

Delia hesitated, and then spoke thoughtfully. “I do have faith in our members, but until it’s settled, anything can happen. Last night’s meeting had some surprises I wasn’t expecting. Hopefully, we’ll make a definitive decision this afternoon.”

“Okay. We’ll stay clear of the hall to give the pack their privacy. Kellar’s eaten enough to last to dinner,” he joked. When Delia went to object, Tobyn continued. “Besides, Kellar won’t leave Arthur alone, will ya, doc?”

“No, I can’t. I have to stay here until he wakes up. I don’t want to put him under again if he’s agitated, though. I’ll try to get him calm by talking first. Hopefully, that will suffice. Those full-on wolf instincts should be easier to control now that he’s had his first shift in almost eighty years.”

“And there you have it,” Tobyn said. “We’re best to stay out of it, anyway.”

“I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. We could have used your input a few times last night if you ask me. I’ll tell Clarence. And I’ll tell him about Bill… damn, Arthur, I mean. He’ll be blown away by what you’ve done for our elder.”

“Speaking of Clarence, he’s on his way here now,” Kellar said.

“You can smell him?” Delia asked with some awe in her voice.

Kellar answered with a grin. “When I’m paying attention. I can hear him too. He’s walking fast. See what you’re missing because of having no earth mates?”

Delia nodded slowly as they all turned to the door. Clarence knocked twice before entering.

“How’s Bill doing?”

“Great,” Kellar answered. “We have lots to tell you.”

Clarence looked around at all the smiles before he peered at the sleeping man in the bedroom. “I’m listening.”

Once Kellar and Tobyn, trading off, finished relaying the events of the evening and morning, and who Bill actually was, Clarence began shaking his head. “So much has happened, so quickly, and all of it is good. Logan, the copper, dispatching the hunter, and now this. You guys have been a revelation to our pack. I can’t wait to see Arthur’s wolf.”

“I doubt it will be very long before he makes another appearance. He was very determined,” Tobyn said half-jokingly.

“I’d prefer it not be too soon,” Kellar remarked. “The man needs to take it easy… there was a lot of repair done to his brain.”

“So, there’s no chance he could make it to our afternoon meeting… is there?” Clarence was obviously struggling with something.

“I highly doubt it. Why?”

“Never mind. It was just a stupid thought. I’ll get this done one way or another.”

“Ah,” Tobyn said. “You want the members to see another miracle… to sway them the way Logan did. Delia told us the impact he had.”

“It crossed my mind,” Clarence admitted, “but hearing myself ask the question, it sounds callous. What’s important is our elder’s welfare.”

“Honestly, I don’t think it does sound that way… if it did no damage. My mother would take advantage of what she could to help our people. She would consider it too; ask the same question you did.”

“Thank you. You saying that makes me feel better. Your mother is a remarkable woman. I had a fruitful conversation with her before I came here, but what I like most is how respectful she is to our dilemma. We spoke for an hour and she was never pushy. All she did was answer my questions.”

“Are things not looking good, Clarence?” Kellar saw the exhaustion in the man’s face, and when he flickered, it was a little disconcerting to see how weak his aura had become. He was badly in need of some rest.

The alpha ran hands over his face in a scrubbing motion. Sighing, he began to update them. “Some are convinced, and eager to move forward. But there are others who are having a real problem with the thought of so much change. If we had more young people who could impart some enthusiasm and speak about the future they want, it would help. But we don’t,” he uttered, sighing again. “Aside from Logan, the next age group is Delia’s age… like Percy, Ian, and Sarah, and three of those have mates at Morningstar. The rest are showing some real anguish over this. Actually, it’s more like fear they won’t be happy because they’ll miss this place too much. They certainly don’t want to stand in anyone’s way, though, so there’s a lot of beating themselves up going on and I hate that. I honestly don’t know what to expect this afternoon. I have things… loved ones and their memories I don’t want to leave either, but I also have a son who would be with me. No one else has that.”

“I’m sorry. This is something we avoided thinking about. I’d like to help in some way.” Kellar glanced at the man sleeping in the bedroom. “I don’t understand how Arthur attending the meeting could be of help, though.”

“He’s not really thinking about Arthur, doc.”

“I’m confused, babe. What do you mean?”

Clarence cleared his throat. “He wouldn’t… not by himself, but with Cahlar he would.” Clarence’s downcast eyes rose to meet Kellar’s, and it slowly dawned on him what he’d heard. Cahlar… him. “They would follow the savior.”

“Crap.”

“Like I said, never mind, Kellar. It was just a thought. I haven’t had much sleep these last few days and it’s catching up with me. I should go see if I can get a nap in.” He stood and moved to the front door as if embarrassed by his prior statement. “I know one of you will want to stay with Arthur, but the other is more than welcome to attend the meeting. Only if you want to, though… no pressure. Now, I’m going to try and get a little shut eye in my office. On behalf of Vega, I thank you again for what you’ve done for Arthur. I won’t say anything about his wolf’s resurrection at the meeting… just that you’ve healed his leg injuries… I’ll leave the rest to you, when you’re ready.”

His departure was abrupt, and left the room in silence. Delia, who hadn’t spoken much while he was there, continued to stare at the closed door as if expecting her alpha to return.

“You okay, doc?”

“Yeah, I guess. Why do I feel guilty?”

“Cause you want to please everyone, and you can’t. You’re not Cahlar. You’re you, a healer, and you have to do what you think is best for that man in there.”

“Do you think it would help to have me show up with Arthur?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think. Arthur needs to stay put, and I know your patient always comes first, right?”

“I could bring him out of his sleep, and if he’s emotionally stable, it would do no harm to wheel him over there in the wheelchair for a short period of time.”

“Is that what you want to do?”

“Not really, but Clarence needs help, and to tell you the truth I’m wondering if this isn’t the kind of thing I’m supposed to be doing. Bringing packs together is our goal. Maybe the earth mother means for people to follow me. As much as I don’t like being thought of as the savior, this could be the destiny we’ve both been feeling for a while. So, you’re wrong. It does matter what you think because we’re in this together.”

Tobyn slid closer and took Kellar’s hand. “Fair enough. Yes, I think it would help. Shifters need a symbol of hope. I remember when Morningstar had none, and then you came along. You’re already that symbol to our pack whether you like it or not. For all intents and purposes, you are the savior. That doesn’t mean you’re not you. You’re still the same person you’ve always been. And that person has gifts no other shifter has. I accept it, and I would be happy if you did to. That, my mate, is what I think.”

Hand holding wasn’t enough. Kellar stood up, pulling Tobyn with him. The embrace that followed fed him strength. He didn’t think… he just allowed himself to feel. Finally releasing his mate, he smiled. “Okay. You’re right. I said earlier I’d get there, and I guess I am. Let’s see if I can’t shine a little light into the darkness.” Kellar turned his smile to Delia when he heard her sharp intake of breath at his repeating of the prophecy.

Kellar and Tobyn took their time as they walked towards the quaint hall they’d become used to. It wasn’t anything like the lodge at Morningstar, but it did have its own charm and it was growing on both of them.

They weren’t alone. A black-headed, dark-grey wolf walked sedately between them. Despite his leanness, he really was quite impressive. There was power in that old body, and the mind, since waking, had sharpened steadily. Arthur knew his role, and he understood Kellar’s promise he would be re-united with his earth mate. It had been the thing that calmed him down after an initial state of panic.

The elder man had shifted with ease just before they left his house. Kellar hadn’t expected he’d be able to, but he’d taken a page from Clarence’s book and went for high drama, figuring it was worth a shot. It certainly allowed for a more impactful entrance, and it didn’t matter if Arthur couldn’t hold his shift for long. He just needed to get through the door.

Lunch was over, and the meeting was underway. It was perfect timing. Tobyn pulled the outside door open and they walked through with the wolf taking the lead.

“It can’t be,” was heard in the silence that descended with the appearance of the calm Arthur.

“Ladies and gentleman,” Kellar said in an even voice that carried throughout the room. “The pack member you know as Bill would like to join the meeting.”

All hell broke loose, in that polite shifter way, as chairs scraped across the floor in people’s hurry to converge on their old friend. Arthur stood motionless as a fuss was made over him. There were more than a few comments on how handsome his wolf was. Delia and Clarence stood back, like Kellar and Tobyn were, watching the expressions on some happy, teary faces. Those same faces soon turned towards Kellar, and there was no mistaking the awe in their regard. He took a deep breath.

“Arthur, would you like to shift back now?”

The big head swiveled his way, and Kellar could see the intelligence residing behind those dark eyes. In a couple of heartbeats the man was standing upright, and Tobyn moved forward to hand him his clothes. Most eyes were still on Kellar, and he saw the confusion at him calling their ‘Bill’ by a different name.

“As you can see, ‘Bill’ is a new man.” His smile brought some chuckles, but the quizzical looks remained. “His real name is Arthur, and before he arrived here at Vega, he’d met his mate. She’s a lovely woman, a seer named Sybil, and she lives at Morningstar. Arthur has been trying to say her name all these years, but he could only form the last syllable. It is one of the few memories he could hold onto after suffering a hunter attack which left two of his friends dead.” Kellar joined Tobyn who’d been helping Arthur while he got dressed. He wasn’t as stable yet, in human form, so they helped him to his usual seat.

Arthur balked at the wheelchair. “I don’t need that one anymore,” he said clearly, and in a strong voice. His ability to speak a sentence gave the pack members another shock.

“Mission accomplished, babe.”

“I’ll say. We’re in the middle of drama central.”

“Could you humor me just for today, please, Arthur? You know a tumble could set you back. Take away your words.”

“Okay,” the proud man acquiesced. “For today. Tomorrow we go to Morningstar.”

“Nice try, buddy. I said we would go in a few days, all right?”

Arthur didn’t agree or even acknowledge the statement, and Kellar saw Tobyn grin; he rolled his eyes at his subtly defiant patient. Arthur, instead, looked around at all the still stunned faces.

“I have my words back. I’m Arthur. I don’t need this chair anymore. Cahlar fixed me, and he’s going to take me to my mate. He’s going to take me to my Sybil. I can’t do my gardening because my mate needs me. I promised her.”

Wow. That declaration had some impact. “He’s right. He doesn’t need the chair anymore. It’s a precaution because his healing was pretty intensive. I would appreciate it if everyone kept an eye on Arthur whenever he stands or walks. He’s improving quickly, but he doesn’t need a fall.”

“I’ll look after him, Kellar,” Delia said.

“Thank you. It’s okay for him to stay for a half hour or so, but not much longer. We can come back for him, or….”

“I’ll walk him back.”

“Great. We’ll be at his house waiting. See you soon, Arthur.”

“Yes, Cahlar. Yes, Tobyn.” The man looked extremely happy. He might have disrupted the meeting, but Clarence was beaming at the turn of events and that was good enough for Kellar. He’d come through for the beleaguered alpha.

They started to walk out when Kellar turned. “I want to say something before we go if no one minds?”

“By all means,” Clarence encouraged.

“First of all, I want to thank you all for making Tobyn and myself feel so welcome. And I also want to say we understand the kind of dilemma you’re all facing. I have a home too, aside from Morningstar, and though I didn’t have it for all that long compared to you people here, it meant a lot to me as the first place of my very own. I never experienced that feeling of really belonging while I was in foster care. At first I dreaded giving my cabin up, but then I realized, with my mate’s help, I didn’t need too. It will always be there for us to return to. As a matter of fact we spent the night there before we came here. Like my first real home, Vega won’t disappear if you move to new grounds.” Kellar took a deep breath.

“Anyway, I hope you all can see what we face is bigger than any one person, or any one pack. We’ve wanted to stay out of this and let you make your own decision, but I’ve come to realize that’s not what we’re here for. Our goal… our destiny… is to save shifters. The earth mother has given the two of us some incredible gifts, some you are not even aware of, and has set us upon this path. She’s been guiding our course all along, and the painting of Cahlar has helped me trust in that. I understand now I was meant to see it and take it to heart. It is another message, and that message tells me I can’t ignore what I know to be true. I see colors not only to heal, but also to find mates… because it’s what is needed to make us a strong race again. Seeing colors allowed me to figure out the cause of the malaise, as well as its cure. I accept my role. It’s my destiny, just as it was my destiny to find my mate on a very fateful day. Packs need to accept their part in this preordained path just like Tobyn and I have. Otherwise, we are thumbing our noses at the earth mother’s efforts, and if we do that… well then we deserve whatever we get.” You could have heard a pin drop, but Kellar felt no nerves whatsoever.

“You need to ask yourselves why we have so many matches between two relatively close packs. Ask yourselves why Denver found his way to us as Tobyn’s mother’s mate. Why did I see him and his pattern the year before? Why was my human foster brother a mate to someone at Morningstar, and why, after all these centuries, did we finally discover the protection of copper? It was something only a human could figure out, and we desperately needed it. I arrived at Morningstar just in time to save Adelin, and see she was a match for Warren, my brother, and that’s what brought him into the shifter circle.

“I arrived here just in time to save Logan, and while I don’t know the full significance yet, other than he has a mate at Morningstar, I know there is one. Maybe he’ll do great things as an alpha, or maybe he and his mate will produce the next seer or keeper….” Kellar noticed the widening of Logan’s eyes at his supposition.

“And now we have Arthur, who will soon be reunited with his mate, our Miss Sybil, which will certainly return her to a fully functioning seer again. Another gift to strengthen us. Our mission has only just begun, but we need a solid base, where every shifter is healthy and children are a common occurrence. We, Vega and Morningstar, have the chance to create that… to light the dark corners of our existence… shine a bright light into the darkness. It’s what the earth mother wants. It’s what Cahlar wants.” Grabbing his mate’s hand, he turned from his rapt audience, and walked out through the set of heavy doors. They closed behind them with a resounding thud.

“Holy shit, doc.”

“Don’t know where that came from.” Kellar was exhilarated, yet an uneasy shudder ran through his entire body.

“I do. You finally see what the rest of us do, and you accept it. It’s what you were meant to do, and you kicked ass in there.”

Another shudder occurred, but Kellar did his best to ignore it. “You think I kicked ass?”

“Yeah, but in a good, take-charge, diplomatic kind of way. I’m so proud of you I could burst.”

Kellar was pleased he’d made his mate happy, focusing on that as he attempted to keep his voice steady. “Cool, but save it for later, babe. It would be a shame to waste it.”

A big thank you to my Robin from his Batman, and to all those who keep lifting me up on my writing journey.