The Hollow Hills - 21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Joshua

“Ye just missed our turn, love,” Alannah stated as she lightly smacked my arm.

“Son of a bitch!” I searched for a good point to turn around, but there wasn’t one on the narrow rural route. I exhaled sharply in frustration. I was exhausted, and anything preventing me from being home as soon as possible put me in an even worse mood than I was already in.

“There’s a gas station a few miles from here. Stop there so I can drive.”

“Yeah, sure. Fine.” I drove in silence, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel of Alannah’s Jeep until I pulled into the gas station parking lot. I exited without shutting off the ignition and walked quickly to the passenger side. Alannah stopped me and held up the keys.

“I need the toilet. Relax, love. What’s the hurry?”

I ran my hand through my hair. “Sorry. You’re right. It’s just—” I let my breath out in a slow stream. “I’ll be glad to be back home.”

“You need to talk to him,” she said softly.

I frowned. “I know.”

She slid her arm around my waist and guided me into the store. “I mean it. Enough of this hiding your feelings crap.” She removed her arm and headed in the direction of the restroom. I knew she was right, but it didn’t make it any easier. I’d managed to put off this conversation for the past three months while Alannah competed in the winter circuit in Florida in an effort to qualify for the World Cup. I couldn’t do it any longer. After using the restroom and purchasing some snacks, we were back on Vermont State Route 103 with Alannah at the wheel.

The thrum of the tires vibrated throughout my exhausted body. I was grateful Alannah had insisted on driving, even though it meant I was left to my thoughts. Galen was never far from my mind, and I recalled when he first woke up in the hospital after his rescue. So much had changed since then.

The sunlight streaming through the window was too hard for my tired body to resist. I moved the recliner into its beam and curled up like a cat, drawing the multi-colored afghan I had brought from home around me. I needed any measure of comfort I could get. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep.

I shifted and stretched my arms and legs. The sunbeam had disappeared and I shivered since the afghan had fallen to the floor. I glanced reflexively at the still figure positioned on his side on the flat hospital bed as I reached for the fallen blanket. I stopped with my hand in the air when I realized that his emerald green eyes were open and trained directly on me. His lips curled upward in a slight smile. I was surprised at how calm he was, given that this was the first time he’d regained consciousness since the surgery. I sat up slowly, maintaining his gaze. My heartrate increased, and I was elated to finally see him awake.

“I like this dream,” he said.

“You’re not dreaming, Galen. You’re in the hospital,” I replied.

“No, I’m either hallucinating or dreaming. Thinking of you makes things bearable, although we’re usually at the farm, either cooking together or with the horses. My favorite fantasy is imagining us riding through the woods, even though I know that would never happen in real life.” He paused and frowned. “Maybe I’m dying and that’s why I’m imagining us in the hospital.” He looked at me with a curious expression on his face. “As much as I’d miss you, I can’t say I’d be sorry if I died. At least that way the pain would stop, and I wouldn’t be hunted anymore.” He sighed. “I wish I could stay here forever with you. I don’t want him to come back.” Tears slid down his cheeks and pooled briefly on the dark red scab underlining his left eye before continuing their downward trek.

“I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, Galen. I’m telling you the truth. You’re not hallucinating or dreaming. I’m really here and you’re really in the hospital.”

He snorted. “That’s how I know I’m dreaming. The real Josh wouldn’t be here. He made his feelings pretty clear. I don’t want to talk about that, though. I want you to lie and say that you’ll be here for me, even if I do get found before he kills me. I know you don’t want me, but this is my fantasy so at least pretend like you love me, OK?”

I flinched as if he had struck me. “I deserved that,” I said softly.

Galen closed his eyes and shifted to lay on his back. He cried out in pain at the movement, and I was at his side in an instant. “Easy… don’t try to move. Your back is still healing.”

“What the fuck’s going on?” He reached out a hand toward me, then waved it in front of his face, staring at it in confusion. His eyes widened and his hand trembled. “This is real, isn’t it,” he whispered.

I nodded. “Yeah, it’s real.” I grasped his hand and smoothed his hair back in what I hoped was a soothing manner.

Galen’s chest heaved as his breath rate increased and his whole body shook with tremors. His beautiful green eyes looked around the room, wild with panic. “Where’s Liam? Or Jody?”

I squeezed his hand. “I sent Liam home to get some rest. Jody had to work. He said he’d stop by later.”

“Why aren’t they here? They should be here… I’m scared, Josh.”

“Focus on me, Galen. It’ll be OK. I’m here for you. I’m not going anywhere.” My heart broke for him.

His gaze settled on me and his grip on my hand tightened to the point of being painful. “It’s really over?” he asked. “I lived? I thought he was going to ki—” A strangled sob escaped his lips before he broke down completely, reaching for me. I held him until he cried himself into exhaustion. A few of my own tears mingled with his as they fell onto his forearm.

“We’ll get through this, Galen. I promise,” I whispered into his hair. I vowed to myself I’d be there for him in whatever capacity he needed me.

I sighed and leaned my head against the window. The cool glass felt good against my hot cheek. I felt lost. Despite my promise to Galen to help him through his recovery, we’d only grown farther apart, not closer together like I’d hoped. I had no idea how to fix our friendship, or even if it could be fixed. His kidnapping and torture, plus our feelings for each other, were giant elephants we danced around but never acknowledged.

I had no idea how to communicate the multiple levels of overwhelming guilt I felt. I blamed myself for Galen’s abduction. If I hadn’t been such a fool and in such denial about Roger—if I had been more observant then maybe I could have saved some of his victims, and he would have never kidnapped Galen. I should have seen the signs. I should have known what Roger was doing in that bunker. I should have saved them—gone to the police or something. It was my ignorance that got Galen hurt—I needed to stop that train of thought. There was no changing what happened, no matter how much it ate me up inside.

In the weeks that followed Galen’s rescue, it seemed like we learned new information daily, each piece of news more horrific than the last. The detectives in charge of the case grilled me relentlessly about Roger—Michael. It appeared that nothing he told me about himself was the truth, including his name. So far they had found three bodies in the woods surrounding the camp, but had to suspend the search until the ground thawed. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that three was only the tip of the iceberg. I shuddered to think of what would have happened to Galen if Liam wasn’t so good at his job.

As amazing as it sounds, my connection to Galen and Roger was purely coincidental. Roger/Michael had no idea we knew each other, or so he said. He was a master liar, so who knew if anything he revealed was the truth? I wondered what role I played in his twisted world. While I had suspected I wasn’t the only person in Roger’s life, it still hurt like hell when I found out he was married to a woman and had children.

There were times when my guilt for choosing Roger over Galen threatened to overwhelm me. I knew I had made a mistake the minute Galen left the farm that night, but he didn’t know that, and now wasn’t the time to tell him. I desperately wanted to be there for him and help him through his recovery, but had no idea how or even if it would be welcomed. I could relate on some level to what he was going through, even though what had happened to me didn’t even come close to what my blond friend had endured.

While the physical abuse Galen had suffered was horrific enough, I was quite familiar with the psychological games Roger played, and could only imagine what sort of mind fuck he had done to poor Galen.

I jumped when loud ringing broke the silence in the Jeep, tearing me away from my thoughts.

“It’s Liam’s ringtone. Would ye get that for me, love?”

I picked up Alannah’s phone and swiped to accept the call. “Hey, Liam. It’s Josh.” I figured he was eager to see his girlfriend. Three months apart was a long time for a new relationship.

“You guys home yet?”

“We’ll still be on the road for about another hour.”

“All right. See you then.” He disconnected the call. He sounded exhausted, so I ignored his abrupt manner.

“Liam’s coming over when we get home.”

The smile my words brought to Alannah’s face made me smile.

I made a mental note to thank Caroline for picking up some groceries for us so we didn’t have to stop at the store on the way home. I made a simple meal of pork chops, mashed potatoes, and broccoli sautéed with butter and garlic. While cooking was my outlet, it didn’t hold the same joy it used to. I missed teaching Galen both cooking and riding. The way he bit his lip and furrowed his brow when he concentrated never failed to warm my heart. His excitement when he learned a new skill was infectious. I sighed and slammed the oven door a bit harder than necessary after I slid the tray of seared pork chops inside.

We’d cooked together once since his release from the hospital. His easy manner was gone. The excitement in his eyes had turned to suspicion. The innuendos and flirting were replaced with one-word answers and meaningless small talk. He stayed all of ten minutes, just long enough to help me set up our mise en place—gathering the ingredients and equipment we’d need to create the meal—before he abruptly left. I thought I’d done or said something wrong, until I realized I had asked him to chop some vegetables. It was seeing the knife that had set him off. The thought had made me queasy.

I had just finished cooking the broccoli when I heard the front door open. I was glad I had made extra in case Liam wanted to join us for dinner.

“Hey, Liam,” I said, as I scooped the broccoli into a bowl. I glanced up when he didn’t respond. He looked horrible. While normally clean-shaven, he sported scruff that was almost at the point of being a full beard. He had dark rings under his eyes, and his shoulders were slumped as if the very act of walking was an effort.

Alannah rose from the table and rushed over to him. As he passed the table, heading into the living room, I saw Galen trailing behind him as Liam led him by the hand. I gasped when I saw the state of my beautiful friend. He looked even worse than Liam.

Alannah and I exchanged worried glances as Liam settled Galen onto the couch and wrapped a blanket around him. “I’ll be right in the kitchen, little bro,” he stated. Galen’s only reaction was to curl into the blanket.

We followed Liam into the kitchen, and he sat heavily on a chair and put his head in his hands. “I need you guys to take care of him. I… I just can’t do it anymore.”

I stared at Liam, sick with the thought of Galen suffering so much while we were away.

“I didn’t know things had gotten so bad. He hid what he was going through until—” Liam reached for Alannah’s hand. “He won’t accept any help. He freaked out when I tried to take him back to the hospital. I don’t know what to do. I can’t take the screaming anymore. Please… help me figure out what to do.”

I headed back into the living room. Galen hadn’t moved. He stared vacantly ahead and there was no life in his eyes. The scar underneath his left eye was even more pronounced because of the dark circles under his eyes. He had always been on the lean side, but his face was now hollowed and gaunt, and his normally meticulous hair hung in greasy strands down to his shoulders. He sported a full beard instead of his usual well-trimmed scruff. He was a caricature of my friend.

“Galen,” I said softly. “It’s Josh.” My words produced no reaction. Anger flared in me at Liam for allowing Galen to get into this condition. I rose and strode into the kitchen, stopping in front of the burly sheriff.

“What the fuck, Liam? How could you let this happen to him?”

Alannah frowned and shook her head. “Don’t.”

“He’s obviously been lying to us! I would have come home! I would have—” I would have what? With how strained our relationship had become, what could I have done that Galen would have accepted? I knew the answer was ‘nothing’, but it didn’t stop the helpless feeling that threatened to overwhelm me.

“I’m sorry, Liam. This is just such a shock.”

“I know. Believe me, I know. Guys, I’m at the end of my rope here. I don’t know what to do other than having him committed to a hospital, and I already tried that.”

I grabbed a plate and cut up a pork chop, then added some mashed potatoes and broccoli. I headed into the living room and sat on the coffee table, across from the couch. “Are you hungry? I made extra for dinner.” I held out the plate, but Galen remained immobile.

“You have to hand it to him.” Liam took the plate from my hand. “C’mon, Galen. Sit up. Time to eat.”

Galen slowly sat upright. The blanket slid from his shoulders, and Liam handed him the plate. Galen ate a few bites before setting the plate down next to him and curling back up in the blanket. I grabbed the plate before it ended up on the ground.

We all walked back into the kitchen. Alannah and I stared at Liam.

“So can he stay here?”

“Of course, love. We’ll take care of him. Go ahead on home, and we’ll talk about it tomorrow. It’s getting late,” Alannah stated.

Liam sighed. He looked somehow lighter, and I realized he had just transferred his burden to us. “Thank you. I know he’s in good hands. He’ll sleep on the couch. Don’t try to get him to go into a bed. He’ll just freak out. He won’t shower, but will take a bath if you draw one. Just tell him what you want him to do. Same with brushing his teeth. Get the toothbrush ready and hand it to him. He’ll do the rest.”

I nodded. “Don’t worry. He’s in good hands.”

Liam held out his hand, and after I clasped it he pulled me into a brief embrace. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, sure,” I said, then went to check on Galen. He was in the same position, staring ahead. I sat on the coffee table. “Can I get you anything?”

No response. I went into my bedroom and gathered an extra set of sheets and a pillow. Alannah set an overnight bag down on the recliner. “Some of Galen’s things,” she stated. She held out her hand to him. “C’mon, love. Let’s get you cleaned up while Josh gets the couch ready.”

Galen hesitated, then took her hand and followed her into the bathroom right off the living room. My hands shook as I placed the sheet on the couch cushions, then arranged two different blankets on top. It was supposed to get cold tonight.

Alannah emerged from the bathroom first, followed by Galen. He went right to the couch and slid underneath the blankets. “Do you need anything else before we call it a night?” I asked.

Again, there was no response. I ran my hand through my hair, then looked at Alannah and gestured toward the kitchen. We sat at the table, and I drummed my fingers on the surface. “What are we going to do?”

“Well, it’s late so tonight we’re going to sleep, then discuss it in the morning. There’s nothing we can do right now,” she replied. She grabbed my hand and squeezed.

“I know you’re right, but I feel so helpless. Liam should have told us what was happening!”

“Aye, he should have. But he didn’t, so now we deal with it.” She yawned. “Let’s get some sleep. Morning will come soon enough, love.” She rose and squeezed my shoulder before heading upstairs.

I hesitated a minute before walking into the living room. Galen was still awake, lying on his side, staring blankly forward. “You know where my room is,” I said softly. “Please don’t hesitate to ask if you need something. Good night, Galen.” My heart broke with every step I took into my bedroom.

I jumped out of bed and ran into the living room when I heard the screams. Liam had warned us about Galen’s nightmares, but nothing could have prepared me for experiencing it firsthand. Alannah arrived at the couch about the same time I did. I sat next to him and put my hand on his shoulder. He flinched away from me, flailing his arms and legs. A lifetime working with skittish horses meant I had very fast reflexes, but even so, he almost nailed me.

I moved away, talking in a low, soothing tone. “Easy, Galen. It’s a nightmare. It’s going to be OK.”

Galen was now backed into the corner of the couch, eyes wide with fear, trembling. His chest heaved as he gulped lungfuls of air. He glanced around the room, briefly settling his gaze on Alannah, then me, and sighed. He slid down to a lying position on the couch, clutching the blanket tightly to him. I was relieved to see the panic fade, but heartbroken to see the lifeless expression that replaced it.

“Go back to bed,” I said to Alannah. “I’ll stay up with him.”

“Are ye sure, love? I can help if you need me to.”

“There’s no reason for both of us to lose sleep. Even if I did go to bed, believe me, I won’t be able to sleep.”

Alannah nodded and hugged me briefly before heading back upstairs. I grabbed a blanket off my bed and returned to the living room, settling on the couch opposite the one occupied by Galen.

Seeing how far Galen had deteriorated made me physically ill. I wondered if I could have done anything to prevent it if I hadn’t gone to Florida. I had a feeling it wouldn’t have made a difference, but I felt guilty all the same.

Thanks again to my awesome team.  Cole and Lisa... I don't know what I'd do without you  I am currently working on Chapter 22, so it will be a couple of weeks or so until it posts, depending on how long it takes me to finish writing it and get it through beta/editing.  Thanks to everyone for all the comments and support of this story.  It really means a lot to me that so many people follow and like this story.  There is a discussion thread in the Signature Author forum if anyone cares to share their thoughts/predictions.  Galen is about as low as he can possibly get right now.  How do you think he'll pull out of it?  Is it even possible for him to pull out of it?