Liam's story - 13. Chapter 13

I spent the night at Toby’s again. After the movie we went out for apps, we must have spent about two hours just sitting in the restaurant talking. He held my hand most of the time. He seems to really need to be touching me, if he wasn’t holding my hand he was resting his leg against mine, or caressing my thigh. I could get used to this.

Being constantly touched isn’t the only thing I could get used to, its the way he looks at me while I’m talking. Like I am the most important person in the room. He held eye contact with me, never once distracted by his phone, or other patrons of the restaurant. I tried to model the same behaviour when he was talking. I’ll admit I had been guilty in the past of having conversations with people when both parties seem more interested in what’s happening on their phones than with each other. But Toby isn’t like that. He gives 100% of his undivided attention.

It felt like the waitress was trying to hurry us along, we had been there for a couple hours and had only ordered one round of apps and been getting free refills on our drinks, so we couldn’t really blame her. I didn’t want the night to end, and being a beautiful summer evening it didn’t. We drove back to his place but didn't go inside. We walked to a near by park and played. Like actually played. I haven’t had fun like that in ages! There is something freeing about being chased around a park, I felt like a kid again. We saw the odd person walking by give us amused or disapproving looks, but we didn’t care.

We eventually settled down and hung out on the swings for a bit chatting. I told him about the day before and Mandy’s visit. How i tried to run away but thankfully my dad talked me out of it. He didn’t seem surprised by her unannounced visit and said she does that a lot, but if it made me uncomfortable he would have it stop. He was planning on meeting her tomorrow for coffee and was going to tell her about me. He invited me along but I declined. I was supposed to meet up with Dylan tomorrow afternoon and wanted to swim some laps before then.

I asked him about his parents, if they knew of his bisexuality, and if our relationship was something he wanted to keep from them for the time being, especially seeing as his parents were paying to watch his brother this summer.

“Yeah, they know. My mom doesn’t really seem to get it though. When I was going out with Vlad she kept asking ‘So, you’re gay now?’ I’ve tried to explain it to her like a million times. When they’ve met girlfriends she starts asking me if I’m straight now, and when I have a boyfriend she asks me if I’m gay. Whatever, she never has a problem with it either way, I just don’t think she understands.”

“So if it somehow comes up that we’re dating you're okay with them knowing?”

“Yeah.” I liked that answer. I’ve always been a little insecure about my own sexuality, and afraid to come out, afraid of what other people would think. It felt really great knowing that Toby wasn’t afraid of what anyone would think about the two of us dating.

“So, can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure, ask me what ever you want, I will tell you anything you want to know.” He replied.

“So, earlier, before the movie when we were at you place an we ah..” I was struggling to finish that sentence, so he did for me. he leaned in close so I could feel his breath on my neck and ear as he said it. “ You mean when I was rimming you? Or when I was fingering you and sucking you off? Or was it when we made out and you gave me a hand job?”

If his intent was to make me blush and give me a boner, he succeeded.

“All of the above? I was just going to say, you seem way more experienced than I am. I’ll be honest here, other than what we’ve done, the farthest I’ve ever gone is kissing. And not like the kissing we’ve done. Like an awkward goodnight kiss after an awkward date I’ve gone on with a girl. Literally, twice.”

He shrugged his shoulder, seemingly unfazed by my virgin status. “Okay. So whats your question?”

“How many people have you been with?”

“Like how many guys, or how many people? and by been with do you just mean sex or fooling around too?”

Not the answer I was expecting. I always thought it was just like a concrete thing, and he would just have a number.

“All of it I guess.” I wan’t sure I actually wanted to know any more, but I had asked.

“okay, umm, I’ve had sex with two girls. Fooled around with five, including the two I have slept with. I have been with four guys, never had anal sex but have done pretty much everything else.”

“Huh.” I didn’t know what to say, I was surprised he had been with that many people, but at the same time surprised he hadn’t been with more.

“Are you okay? Were you not expecting that?”

“I don’t know what I expecting. I guess if i’m being honest I’m worried that I won’t be able to live up to your expectations.”

“My expectations?”

“Yeah, it was obvious today that you’re way more experienced than I am. I guess I’m just scared that I won’t be very good at it and you’ll feel like you’re missing out.” Wow, there is something about Toby that just makes words pour out of my mouth. I am normally much better about hiding my insecurities in front of other people. I seemed to have no problem telling him what was on my mind, but that didn’t mean I could look at him while I did.

He got off of his swing and knelt down on the ground in front of mine. “Liam, I like you, a lot. I don’t have any expectations as far as sex goes. I just want us to make each other feel good, and so far we seem to be pretty good at that. Yeah I have some more experience but that doesn’t really matter. Everyone is different and likes different things. And so far I have liked everything we’ve done.”

I leaned down to give him a quick peck on the lips, being careful as this was a park and I didn't want to end up on any kind of list or registry.

He returned to his swing and we kept talking. The topics stayed light after that, but I do admit I felt better. I hadn’t realized how scared I had been when it came to having sex with Toby (or anyone for that matter).

The sun was setting and the air was beginning to get a chill do it when we decided to walk back to his place. He held my hand the whole way.

I was pretty beat by the time we got back to his place, I imagined he must be even more tired since he had to work this morning as well. We weren’t home long before heading to bed. We were both exhausted so there was just a little kissing before he pulled me to his chest and we both fell asleep.