The Discovery - 4. Chapter 4

The four of them stood around Jacob in stunned silence as they watched him grasp for words. Their evening had gone from a casual and enjoyable evening to something more serious than they could have imagined before this moment. As Jacob stood there, clutching the damning information in his hands, he fought an internal battle against his memories as he fumbled for a logical explanation.

“This has to be a mistake. They got my stuff mixed up with someone else’s.” It was the only thing he could think of at that moment. The only thing that could make sense to him.

Kyle put a hand on his husband’s shoulder and was surprised to feel Jacob’s body tense at the comforting touch. He hadn’t reacted like that for so long Kyle couldn’t remember the last time it happened. “Maybe I should make some phone calls Monday and see if they have an explanation for this.”

Jacob shook his head. “No. Let’s just drop it. It’s a mistake, which only proves this was a silly idea to begin with.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Andy said. “We did this so that we would have a record for our kids and their kids could look back on.”

“Jacob,” Troy came up close to him enough to make Jacob feel even more awkward than before. “Is there a chance of this? I mean, you don’t remember anything from when your parents were together?”

“No,” he spat. “I don’t remember anything from back then. She died when I was young.”

“Are you sure,” Brian asked. “Or was that just something your dad told you?”

Kyle saw the look in Jacob’s eyes and knew what it meant. “Guys, back off.” Reluctantly, the other three stepped away and Kyle could see the stormy look in Jacob’s eyes recede a little. “I think we’re done for the night. We should get home.”

Troy watched with undisguised concern as he nodded. “Yeah. We’ll see you guys later.”

Andy and Brian watched in silence as Kyle turned and led Jacob to the door. As they crossed the threshold, Jacob let the paper in his hands fall to the floor before the door closed behind him. Troy sighed and went to pick up the piece of paper to read for himself. “What was that all about,” Andy asked.

“He was close to blowing up,” Brian observed. “Is it just me or has he been in a mood for a while now?”

“Yeah,” Troy regretfully answered. “When Kyle got back from that big case of his, I think Jacob thought they’d get to spend more time together. But Kyle’s been going almost non-stop since then and I think it’s starting to wear on him.”

“Not much to be done about that,” said Andy. “He’s got a job to do, just like we all do.”

Brian frowned thoughtfully. “Beyond that though…” He pointed to the paper in Troy’s hand. “Do you think that’s legit?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Troy replied. “If it is, then the question is what has Jacob known or what didn’t he know?”

“Almost makes you wish Joe was still alive,” Brian muttered. “Almost.”

“Shit,” Andy muttered. “They forgot the leftovers for David.”

“You can go drop them off,” Troy pointed out.

Andy chuckled. “No way am I going over there right now. Let David deal with this first.”

Troy had to admit he had a point. He had no clue what to expect will be happening in that house in the next few days. “I think I should head home. We’ll wait and see what happens.” He headed for the door and chuckled ruefully. “Maybe he’s right and it was an error of some sort. He won’t have to go far to get a lawyer to sue them.”

“Wait.” Brian rushed into the kitchen and returned shortly with some of the leftovers. “Don’t forget these.”

Troy took the package along with the heartfelt embrace from Brian. “Thanks. Liz would kill me if I forgot about them.”

“Tell her thanks for watching Tanner for us tonight,” Andy added.

Troy nodded and headed out the door. “I’ll call you guys tomorrow. Call me if you hear anything.”

Brian waved. “We will.” He watched the door close and sighed before turning to look at Andy. “I have a bad feeling about what’s going to happen.”

“You think Jacob’s got a secret sister or brother out there,” Andy asked.

Brian felt a pang of sympathy for Jacob. He couldn’t imagine what was going through his mind right now. “Yes.”

****

The first half of the drive home was agonizingly quiet. Kyle wasn’t sure what to say as he drove through town. He was unable to completely shake off the stunned feeling and the fountain of questions that came from the startling revelation. Sitting in the passenger seat, Jacob stared blankly through the window with a dour face. Kyle wanted to understand what was going on inside his husband, but he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to with his current mood.

Finally, he could hold back no longer. “We need to talk.”

The response was flat and lifeless. “No.”

Kyle took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Jacob, when we got married… hell, before that… we said we would rely on each other. I love you. And I want to help you in whatever it is you’re going through over there, but I can’t if you won’t talk to me.”

There was a long silence and Kyle started to wonder if he had lost him when he heard a familiar voice from his past. It was quiet, slow, almost timid. “I don’t know… what I’m feeling. I just… it’s impossible. He… he never said anything. Ever. About… about what that… thing said.”

What Kyle heard wasn’t promising, but it was a start. He started to think that maybe Jacob was regressing in some manner from the way he sounded. The best course of action was to get Jacob home and keep him there. “I want you to wake me up when you get up in the morning. You’re not in a very good place right now and if you have something you have to do tomorrow for your store, I’m going with you at the very least. That, or you find someone to take your place.” He didn’t hear an objection, so he continued. “I also need your permission for something else.”

“What?”

Kyle sighed, feeling relieved as he turned the car onto the road that led to the house. “I want your permission to look into your mother’s passing. Maybe we can get some answers there.”

There was another long silence before he heard the sullen response. “Fine.”

Taking this minor victory, he pulled the car into his spot on the driveway, looking out over the orchard. All was dark before them but here and there he could see some apples still waiting to be picked. It would be another week of the orchard being open to the public before David would bring in help to gather what was left and sell it all in bulk.

As they got out of the car, Kyle felt the need to warn him. “Matt is probably still awake. I know this is difficult for you right now, but we’re gonna have to act as close to normal as we can.”

Jacob sighed as he walked around the car. “How about we just pretend like it didn’t happen? We had a great time and now we’re going back to our normal lives.”

Kyle stepped up to him. “That will work, for now. But we’re going to get to the bottom of this.” He placed both hands on Jacob’s face and kissed him tenderly. “I promise.” Jacob managed a small smile and nodded before they walked up the ramp and into the house.

As they walked inside, Kyle inwardly groaned seeing Colt at the counter getting a drink. He looked up at the sound of the door opening. “You’re home early,” he remarked as they walked through.

“Yeah,” Kyle agreed. “We were tired, so we decided to leave early.”

Colt nodded but kept his eyes on Jacob as he walked past. “Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah,” Kyle said with a strained smile while Jacob walked out of the kitchen.

“So I can see.” Colt’s voice betrayed no emotion but the look on his face was telling. “I already put Aaron to bed, but Matt and Blake are still up if you wanna go in there and say goodnight.”

“And Dad?”

“He’s in there.”

“Thanks.” He headed down the hall, heading to the front room where the boys were enthralled in a movie while David was sitting in his recliner reading a book.

“Hey,” David said as he slowly rose to his feet. “How was dinner?”

“It was good,” Kyle replied. “Damnit. I’m sorry, Dad, I forgot your peppers.”

David shrugged. “It’s okay. I’m sure Andy or Brian will bring them over tomorrow. So, what happened?”

Kyle searched for an answer. “Nothing. It was a good time. Nothing special.”

“Kyle, I’m surprised,” he said with an amused smirk. “Twelve years as a lawyer now and you still can’t lie very well?”

“It’s complicated,” Kyle replied in a quieter voice, so the boys didn’t overhear him. “He got some stunning news. We think. I don’t know what it’s all about yet.”

David grew more concerned as he listened. “How is he?”

Kyle wasn’t sure how to answer that and being slow to respond only caused David’s concern to grow. “Honestly, driving home tonight felt like bringing him here the first day.”

As he listened, David was already planning his next move. One he was not looking forward to, but it had to be done. He put his hand on Kyle’s shoulder and led him out of the room and into the hall near the front door. “Tell me what happened.”

Kyle hesitated for only a moment before he gave into his father’s command. “When Jacob’s DNA test came back, they found a genetic match in their records. One sibling.”

David did not bother to hide his surprise. “Really? Not half-sibling or…?”

“No,” he replied with a shake of his head. “Jacob got… I don’t know. Angry?”

“You want me to talk to him?”

“No. He doesn’t want it to get around. He’ll probably be angry with me for telling you. He just wants to pretend like it didn’t happen.”

This was all confusing to him. Definitely not something he could have prepared for. “That’s not like him. I think I might encourage him to set up an appointment with his therapist.”

“Probably a good idea,” Kyle agreed. “Let me suggest it to him.” He sighed, resolving himself to figure out how to manage this new bump in the road. But he was tired, and he would need to think about it more in the morning. “I’m going to say goodnight to Matt real quick and then go to bed.”

David nodded and let him go. He took a second to prepare himself for the next step and headed to the kitchen. Colt was still there, leaning up against the counter, drinking some tea. The look they exchanged as David walked in left him with the impression his partner had been waiting on him. “So… about Florida.”

Colt’s lips tugged down in a frown. “Yeah?”

David sighed, feeling guilty about making this decision. “I think we might have a situation here.”

“Those two?” Colt didn’t want to argue about it, but he expected to find out what was so important that they were potentially canceling their plans for the winter.

“Yeah,” he said with a nod. He moved closer and grabbed a cup from the cupboard to get his own tea. “I’m not sure exactly what happened but it’s thrown Jacob off and from the sounds of it, I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave when things could get worse.”

The lack of details and just a vague warning of something that wasn’t defined annoyed him, but he figured he could press it at this point. “Is this classified information?”

“No,” David said casually. “Not to you. I just don’t want everyone hearing it. I’ll tell you later after lights out, how’s that sound?”

Colt nodded. “Alright. For now, let’s put the trip to Florida on a temporary hold for now. If nothing else, we can leave later than we usually do.”

David smiled. “That sounds like a perfect plan.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

They both heard the sound in the front room suddenly stop. “Looks like Kyle’s putting the boys to bed. Let’s give him a few minutes and then we’ll head up ourselves.”

The two men silently agreed and went about the house, locking everything up and turning off all the lights as they made their way upstairs to their bedroom. By the time their door closed, Kyle was exiting Matt’s room and heading to bed himself. In the back of his mind, he was already planning his next few moves. It was so simple and obvious, he wondered why he or Jacob had never done it before. The only reason he could come up with was that Jacob had all but abandoned the memory of his family long ago and embraced his life here. There had never been a need to investigate his past or ask questions about things that were mostly unimportant in their everyday lives. Now, those questions had to be asked and the answers had to be found. One way or another, Kyle knew he was going to be able to figure it out. He could only hope that it would result in something good for all of them.

As he stepped into their private rooms, Kyle was surprised to find all the lights were already off. He closed the door behind him and carefully made his way into the bedroom. There was no moon out on this night, so no light came in from the window from the other side of the bed. He wasn’t sure if he should turn on a light and risk disturbing Jacob. The idea didn’t appeal to him as he started to silently undress. Slipping in under the covers he came into contact with Jacob’s body and that at least gave him a measure of relief. Once he settled in, he felt Jacob move closer to him and rest his head on the pillow next to his shoulder.

The silence was broken by Jacob’s whispered voice that had a hint of sadness to it that pained Kyle’s heart. “Did you put the boys to bed?”

“Yeah,” he whispered softly. “All our babies are safe and sound.” He gently ran his hand over Jacob’s face and wasn’t surprised to find his cheeks were a little damp. An hour ago, they had been laughing and having fun with their friends and now it felt as if this horrible weight was beginning to press down on them both.

“What am I going to do?”

Kyle wrapped his arms protectively around his husband and held him close. “You’re going to call in the morning and have someone else take your place. You’re going to get some rest and we’ll figure out where we go from here. I’m going to clear my schedule except for any court proceedings next week and we are going to figure this out together, okay?”

“Okay. Did you tell Dad?”

Kyle smiled a little in the dark. “Yes, I told him. He’s worried about you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, sweetheart. We love you.” He felt a little more relieved when he felt Jacob’s body relax in his arms. “Just go to sleep now. We’ll figure it out in the morning.” He laid there, listening for a response that never came. The stress that Kyle couldn’t understand seemed to slowly drain out of Jacob and he settled into sleep. Kyle thought long and hard about what was going to happen in the morning before sleep finally came for him as well.

****

When Kyle’s eyes struggled to open, he noticed two things right away. The sun streaming through the window was brighter than he anticipated, and Jacob was nowhere to be found. Cursing under his breath, he focused his efforts into getting out of bed and throwing on a pair of shorts before exiting the bedroom and making his way into the kitchen. Before he left the room, he grabbed his phone. As he suspected, it was already past nine o’clock. He suppressed his annoyance as he walked through the house, hoping that maybe Jacob would be there when he arrived.

His annoyance grew when he walked in and found his father sitting at the table, calmly drinking his coffee, dressed and ready for a full day in the orchard. Controlling his emotions, he went to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup. “Where’s Jacob,” he asked his father as he added sugar and cream.

“He left about two hours ago,” David replied, seemingly unconcerned.

Kyle let some of his surprise show as he went to sit down across from David. “Did he say anything? How was he acting?”

“He sounded fine, son.” David gave him an odd look as he took a drink of his coffee. “Was smiling and talking to the boys same as he always does every morning. I asked him about last night and he kinda skirted the issue but for the most part, he seemed okay. I didn’t see a reason to pry any more than that, so I just let him go. He said he’d be home later this afternoon.”

Kyle sat thinking about what he just heard compared to what he experienced last night. Maybe it was possible that Jacob just needed a good night’s sleep, and he balanced out his feelings about suddenly learning he had a missing sibling somewhere out in the world he never knew about. “Where are the boys right now?”

“Andy came by and dropped off the peppers from last night and took them all out to the gym for some swim time. He’ll be bringing them back sometime around noon and then join us in the orchard.”

Kyle nodded absently. “There isn’t much I can do today other than get ready to dump most of the cases I have onto other associates Monday. I’m going to start looking into Jacob’s parents and see if I can’t find some answers.”

David sighed softly and asked, “are you sure that’s necessary?”

“What do you mean?” He was starting to wonder if he had woken up in a different world. “He deserves to get some answers.”

“Don’t you think that’s a decision he should get to make?”

“He sounded like he wanted answers last night, one way or another.” Kyle’s annoyance was starting to come back. Why was his dad suddenly acting cautious about this? Since when did they hide the truth?

David stared at his son as he chose his words carefully. “Joe isn’t something Jacob likes thinking about or talking about. I’m concerned that this is going to cause a backlash of some sort that we’re not equipped to handle. The last thing I want is Jacob falling off the wagon.”

Kyle frowned. He had to admit his dad had a point, even if it wasn’t a point he was satisfied with. “We could insulate him from that. Just bypass Joe entirely.” His mind was already looking for a way to work around that part. “All I would need to get started is Joe’s obituary.”

“What do you need that for,” David asked him curiously.

Kyle smirked slightly at his own cleverness. “I just need to see who preceded him in death. They should have had a record of his being married and it would list her name. I can go from there. Find out more about his mother rather than his father.”

David had to admit that was a good idea. “Well, let me think. He died when Jacob was twenty-four, I think. That sounds about right.”

“How did Jacob find out,” Kyle asked.

David shrugged and answered, “the cops showed up here late one day. Told Jacob his dad died.” David sighed remembering that night. “He didn’t take it very well. He’d been drinking most of the day. I thought he’d be… I don’t know. Upset, crying, anything. He just listened to them tell him, thanked them and then closed the door.”

Kyle felt uneasy approaching the subject, but his curiosity got the better of him. “Was there a funeral or anything?”

David shook his head. “Jacob was all he had, son.” He went silent for a moment, remembering those days and sighed. “He had been out of prison for a couple months. Joe called me one time. Did I ever tell you that?”

“No!” Kyle sat up a little straighter, obviously wanting to hear more.

David sighed. “Jacob wasn’t home. He called the house and asked for him. I’d never met the man. Didn’t know anything about him. And with as many people as I know in town, that was a bit surprising. I told him Jacob wasn’t here and he got a little heated. He wanted to know where he was because he wanted to see him. He sounded almost desperate. We talked for a few minutes, and I told him all Jacob had been up too. How he had gotten a job and going to school.” David’s eyes turned sad. “I could hear Joe’s voice crack and he apologized to me for how things got out of control. Told me that he was trying to straighten up and do right by his boy.”

Kyle frowned. “If anyone else had told me that, I’d call them a liar.”

“That’s about as surprised as I was at the time,” David admitted. “I told him I would talk to Jacob and encourage him to talk to him, but I didn’t make any promises.”

“Jacob told me once, that he talked to his dad before he died. Said his dad was serious about wanting to reconnect but Jacob was too drunk and angry at the time to want it.” Kyle looked at his cup, thinking about his own estrangement with his dad years ago. “He still carries some guilt about that.”

David nodded. “In a way, I’m kind of glad you weren’t here for the worst of that. And I take it as a failure of my own at the time.”

Despite his own personal guilt about their past, he always felt that connection strengthen between them when the two of them were alone and talking like this. It made him remember better days, long before college and Jacob and all the complexities of his life today. “Why?”

“I should have known,” David stated bitterly. “I was supposed to protect him. He was one of my boys. I should have confronted him. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t bring myself to admit that Jacob had a drinking problem, and that I didn’t know how to fix it. Luckily, Brian did.” David had a thoughtful look in his eyes. “I honestly think that if I had done it, he probably would’ve just left. And I don’t want to think about what would’ve happened then.”

“Dad don’t beat yourself up. You did the best you could for all of us.”

David gave him a smile. “Thanks. You’re gonna want to look for the obituaries around May I think from back then. Shouldn’t be hard to find.”

Kyle grabbed his phone and started typing. “This shouldn’t take long. All I need is her name.”

“What do you plan on doing with that once you get it?”

“Going to take it to the office Monday and find her death certificate,” he answered without looking up. “Should have cause of death on it. That should give us at least one answer and see where it leads. Hopefully I can find some relative of hers that’s still alive that I can speak to and maybe give me some insights into what could have happened to her and why Jacob doesn’t remember having a brother or sister.”

“Just go slow with this at first, Kyle,” David cautioned. “We don’t know exactly how Jacob is going to react.”

Kyle nodded as he studied the screen on his phone. “I’ll make sure I keep him informed.” He found what he was looking for and carefully read through it. “Kathrine Eaton. Lists her maiden name as O’Neal.”

“Good job. Now, put it away for now and get ready to open the orchard.”

He wanted to press it. Get on his computer and start looking through records. But Kyle knew doing that now would only prove frustrating. Government buildings would be closed, and some information couldn’t be obtained online, especially given the fact that he wasn’t entirely sure what he was looking for. “Yeah, you’re right,” he said with a sigh. He finished his cup of coffee and went to pour another cup. “Where’s Colt?”

David smirked slightly. “He decided to go get groceries.”

“On a Saturday morning?” Colt wasn’t known for doing more than his share of work around the house. It wasn’t something Kyle disliked or expected him to do more. While he would run errands with David or retrieve one or two items from town if they were needed, it was rare that he would go out of his way to do things like go to the grocery store by himself. “Did you suggest it to him or was this him taking the initiative?”

“A little bit of both, maybe,” his dad replied. “I brought him up to speed last night after we went to bed. So, he knows what’s going on with Jacob and his mystery brother or sister. Do we know which one it is?”

Kyle shook his head. “No clue yet. The DNA result is the only evidence that such a person exists.”

David nodded more to himself than what he heard. “Okay.” He stood up and moved to the doorway. “We’ll be opening in an hour. Help Colt put the food away once he gets back. What are you going to do later?”

“I’m gonna start prepping for Monday. Get motions written out now and sift through the cases on my desk and start handing them over to the others. Then I can focus mostly on this.” Saying it out loud gave Kyle a clear sense of what needed to be done. He still felt disappointment that Jacob had left the house without him and didn’t even try to wake him up. He would have rather spent time together than apart, but he reasoned they could have some quality time later when he got home and the following day as well.

David smirked, looking at Kyle. “Sometimes, it’s hard to believe how far my boys have come.”

Kyle couldn’t help but blush at his words. “Sometimes it amazes me too.”

David chuckled. “Get dressed and grab something to eat before I open.” Kyle listened to his steps as he went upstairs, thinking to himself as he thought back to how different this house was from when he was a child. He remained standing for a few moments, enjoying the memories in his mind before exiting the kitchen to get to work.

****

Jacob was leaning quietly against one of the worktables in the back of his shop, giving himself a moment to rest from the long trip of the day. The drive had been uneventful and the assistant that accompanied him made for some good conversation throughout the day. Making these trips wasn’t as necessary for him as it used to be. Years ago, when he was just working out of the workshop at the orchard, he had little choice when it came to taking the time to make deliveries for what he made and sold. As time went on, he was able to contract out some of the transportation duties more and more. When he finally got his business running from his new store, he purchased a large moving truck of his own and hired staff to do most of the deliveries from that moment on. However, sometimes he still felt the need to do them himself. Partly to keep himself humble and other times due to the finished piece was thousands of dollars and he wanted to show his client he was serious about making sure it was exactly how they wanted it.

Now, he was done for the day and had sent his employee home so she could enjoy the rest of her day and he could take a moment to ready himself for what was going to happen when he got home. All through the trip, he had anticipated a call from Kyle to berate him for not waking him up this morning. While he had thought about it, Jacob found himself in the odd position of not wanting to be around Kyle that day and not wanting to deal with all of the drama and possibilities all of this stupid DNA stuff was creating.

Jacob had kept his mind focused on the job in front of him for most of the day and listening to some music to divert his mind from thoughts he wanted to avoid. But the return trip home ended up being more difficult than he expected. Thoughts and feelings from the past started to trickle into his mind. It would not have been so annoying had they been complete memories. Even as he kept telling himself and Kyle that this entire idea of him having a sibling was crazy, his mind kept turning the puzzle over and over. The visions and sounds his mind focused on felt more like small shards of memories long forgotten. A fleeting voice in his head that felt real and familiar that came with no name or face to attach to it. Glimpses of a woman’s face that he couldn’t really see. Unfamiliar places. Small little shards that made no sense that his mind refused to let go of.

Alone there in his shop, with the lights off and the sun setting through the windows, he stared at the floor and tried to focus on them. If only to give them more clarity and possibly put them together so they make sense. Jacob reasoned if he could make sense of them, they would be easier to put away so he could go back to focusing on things that were more important. Matt’s schoolwork, Aaron’s birthday, or David and Colt’s annual trip to Florida for the winter season. There were so many things to do and seemingly never enough time. He didn’t want to bother with this nonsense when he had real things to take care of.

A chime on his phone alerted him to a new message. He looked at the screen and smirked. A message from Kyle read, “not in the mood for leftovers tonight. Do you mind picking up some spaghetti and bread on your way home?” The normality of the request shook him out of his thoughts as he started moving to the door. He texted Kyle back that he was on his way there now and would be home soon. Locking up the shop first, he headed to his truck and on his way.

It was only a few minutes to place his order and wait before he was back in the truck heading home. By the time he pulled up to the house, the sun was on its way down and a chill was settling into the air. Reminding himself to bring a jacket to work with himself on Monday he grabbed the food and headed up into the house. He wasn’t surprised to see Kyle sitting alone at the kitchen table, sipping his drink and smiling as he saw Jacob step inside with the bag of food in his hand. Jacob smiled and came up to him, kissing Kyle’s cheek as he sat the bag on the table. “How was your day?”

Kyle gave him a rueful smirk. “Would have been better if you had woken me up this morning like I asked you too.”

Jacob’s cheerfulness started to drain out of his face as he sighed. “When I woke up this morning, it wasn’t on my mind, and I just decided that I was fine. Yeah, I wasn’t overjoyed or anything, and when it did pop into my head, I had plenty of time to sit and think about it during the drive.”

Kyle sighed. “Well, it worried me a little bit when I got up.”

“You mean it pissed you off,” Jacob countered with a smirk before he went to the drawer to pull out utensils.

Kyle rolled his eyes slightly as he started to open the bag. “Maybe a little.”

“So, why didn’t you call or text?”

“Dad said you sounded fine this morning,” he replied with a shrug. “I wasn’t entirely sure about it, myself. How was the trip there and back?”

“It was good. Not a lot of traffic on the road for a Saturday.” He went to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water and returned to the table as Kyle finished pulling the food out of the bag.

“Well, that’s good at least. Might sound stupid, but it always worries me a little whenever you do those long drives. Always worried someday you’ll get in an accident.” He opened both carryout containers and took the offered water and fork.

“Me too. But I play it as safe as I can.” Jacob offered him a smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t wake you up. Maybe if I woke up as disturbed as I felt when I went to sleep it would have been a different story.”

Kyle eyed his husband carefully as he started to poke his fork into his food. “I’m not mad. Just concerned.”

“I know. And I appreciate it. I figure this whole thing will be behind us soon enough.” Kyle was sounding a little more anxious than usual and he didn’t want to compound it.

They ate in relative silence at the table. In the background, they could hear the television in the front of the house and the occasional word exchange between the boys, Colt and David. Kyle was unsure how to inform Jacob of his finding this morning, so he just blurted it out. “Your mother’s name was Kathrine?”

Jacob stopped chewing and looked up at him. He could feel a part of himself trying to pull away from the words. Blot the words out to keep the memories from returning. He finished chewing slowly to give himself time to put his memories away before he answered. “That was fast. What else did you find out?”

“Nothing else,” Kyle said as he looked up at Jacob. “I’ll have to wait until Monday to look her up.”

In an attempt to avoid the subject and prevent a potential outburst, Jacob just nodded and went back to eating. Against his will, his mind started to revisit his oldest memories again. He could remember the image of a woman with a happy smile and pleasant voice looking down at him. The image brought with it a sense of safety and happiness. With her came another man’s face with bright blue eyes and a wide smile. There was a voice, but the words were forgotten. Just those eyes and that smile that came nearer to his vision until Jacob felt warm strong hands pick him up and turn him around only for Jacob to see his father’s face. But it wasn’t the face he grew up with it. This father had a strong build and the brightest smile as his eyes met Jacob’s.

“Jacob?”

Jacob forced the memory out of his mind and looked up at Kyle. “Yeah?”

Kyle’s eyes were filled with worry as he gently reached a hand over to Jacob to brush the tear that had run down his face. “Are you alright?”

The face from his past came back into his mind but he ignored it and focused on his food. “Yeah. I’m good. Just tired, I guess.” Kyle gave no reply or accusation of the lie that they both knew it was and continued to eat. No matter where he looked in his memories, there was nothing there to hint that he had a brother or sister. No memory of anyone saying anything to him. He had a vague recollection of a boy older than him. But that couldn’t be who this other person was. No clue and no memory of what would have happened to them. He took a breath and let it out before he tore apart the garlic bread and silently offered half to Kyle.

Kyle took a few more bites before accepting the offered bread. “Dad and I think you should make an appointment with Dr. Carper.”

Jacob sighed. While it might not be the worst idea, all he wanted was to get back to his normal life. Or at least what has passed as normal lately. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He was silent for a while until he finally nodded slowly. “Might not be a bad idea.”

“If you want, I can come with you.”

Jacob stabbed his fork in his food. “I’ll call him on Monday and see what’s available.”

Kyle gave him a small smile. “Try to avoid Thursday afternoon. I have court that day.”

Jacob smirked. “Okay.” He started to finish his food but was slowed by the feel of Kyle’s hand slipping into his. The simple act served to lift the fog inside him and settle his heart. Instead of unfocused memories from childhood, he chose to remember their shared time together and all the things they’ve gotten to celebrate in the last six years. He took a final bite of his bread and waited to swallow it before gently squeezing Kyle’s hand and whispering, “I love you too.”