Jump to content
  • Join For Free and Get Notified of New Chapters!

    Are you enjoying a great story and want to get an alert or email when a new chapter is posted? Join now for free and follow your favorite stories and authors!  You can even choose to get daily or weekly digest emails instead of getting flooded with an email for each story you follow. 

     

    AC Benus
  • Author
  • 469 Words
  • 167 Views
  • 2 Comments

The Great Mirror of Same-Sex Love - Prose - 4. Unknown - "A Gay Bar's House Rules"

.
Unknown - "A Gay Bar's House Rules"
 

(Camp and drag are both terms the OED will happily tell you come from the generation before Shakespeare's time. Both are stage terms, and in the social imperative most LGBT people found themselves in Western Europe, a wry, insiders-only sense of humor helped a great deal. One Magazine -- an early Community monthly published from Los Angeles -- printed the following "Letter from Miami" in their March 1955 issue. It seems the police percussion of Gay people in that city was rampant, and One personally reported on 17(!) raids on Community gathering places for the calander year 1954 alone. The following list was from one bar laughing in the face of repression -- the very essence of camp humor. And a list like this makes you remember just how camp John Wayne actually was.)

 
Miami Bar Posts House Rules:
 

1) When customer wishes to go to the restroom -- please raise hand and barmaid will direct you to proper door.

2) Mother and daughter customers are not allowed to hold hands, kiss or pat each other on back. On week-ends they are not allowed to even talk to each other.

3) No talcum powder allowed on men customers, or after-shave lotion on women customers.

4) Women must wear make-up -- false eyelashes and beauty marks will be provided at the bar for those women customers who have just come from the beach and don’t have their make-up kits with them.

5) Men may wear only stiff shirts and tails.

6) Any male customer caught buying a beer for another male customer will have to buy a beer for the barmaid too, so that the management will know that the man customer is of high moral fiber and not one of those characters.

7) Female customers may not talk at all -- they are required to walk around the bar at least once every five minutes, dropping handkerchiefs and swooning at the far turn.

8 ) Male customers may NOT wave at friends or relatives passing by in the street, because we’ll have none of those gestures in this place, my dear.

9) Lady customers may smoke only if male customer lights cigarette for them.

10) Lady customers may smoke only cigarettes with ivory tips, jewelled pipes or Between the Acts cigars.

11) Male customers must have hair on the chest -- if you have none, please bring along another chest with the required hair on it. (We will gladly refrigerate it for you while you’re here).

12) Please do not be offended if we do not serve you. Here are but a few of the people we could not serve if they were able to patronize us: Socrates, Wilde, Proust, Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Queen Christina, Amy Lowell, Lord Tennyson, etc., etc. and far into the night.

 

 

_

Copyright © 2021 AC Benus; All Rights Reserved.
  • Love 1
  • Haha 2

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments

4 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

This is awesome. I laughed aloud at several of these, including (but not limited to) numbers 7, 8 and 11. 

I was thinking that No. 7 could be expanded to say "Management will provide fainting couches for tightly corseted women customers, but corseted men customers must be butch and stand at the bar like everyone else."  

Edited by AC Benus
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Newsletter

    You probably have a crazy and hectic schedule and find it hard to keep up with everything going on.  We get it, because we feel it too.  Signing up here is a great way to keep in touch and find something relaxing to read when you get a few moments to spare.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..