The Hidden Ones: Resurrection - 34. Unity

---Oliver---

Throughout my life everyone’s asked me how I could worship a drug addicted alcoholic. I’ve been judged, ridiculed, and ignored because of it. But the truth is behind all those struggles I identified with the pain he was hiding underneath. That want to be heard. That compulsion to climb to the top of a cliff and scream my name. That need to be remembered.

Well I wonder if those judgy people every thought about the hard work Ryder Sullivan puts in. That he’s so much more than his struggles. Because here we are at three in the morning still working as hard as ever. It’s never enough for him, so it’ll never be enough for me.

Every now and again he would check on me, but for the most part he treated me just like he would treat a bandmate. He commanded me around, and tried his hardest to micromanage every little thing I did. Every now and then we would butt heads and get into a small debate, but in the end it was always easy to let go. We weren’t creating some small fun project, we were creating music. Creating something so much bigger than ourselves, and that demanded to be remembered.

I don’t know what got to me first, maybe it was the time or all the hard work but at some point I finally passed out. When I woke back up I found myself in Ryder’s arms as he struggled to carry me towards the stairs.

“What the hell are you doing?” I managed out, causing him to nearly drop me.

“Trying to not wake you up.” He sighed, letting me back to my feet. “For being so scrawny you’re a heavy kid, you know that?”

“I’m not scrawny, and I’m not heavy.” I defensively exhaled. “Your heart’s just weak.”

“Yeah, yeah,” He pacified as we finally emerged from our cave.

“Someone’s up early this morning.” Teddy teased as we both walked through the kitchen. “Writing have you two that hooked?”

Mom carefully looked from Ryder to me. “I don’t think they got up early, I think they never went to bed!” She exclaimed.

“We went to bed.” I lied with a wave of my hand.

“Ryder.” Mom said, beginning to stare him down.

“I couldn’t sleep so I went to put in some work and I found Oli already down there.” He explained in a tired voice.

“Dude!” I yelped as he folded under their pressure.

“They were going to find out eventually.” He sighed, glancing over to me.

“Ryder.” Mom began, trying to hide her frustration. “Like I said yesterday, I love that you’re including Oliver. I love that you’re teaching him about music, and letting him write with you. But he’s just a boy. He needs his sleep.”

“I’m fine mom.” I insisted in a tired voice.

“It’s nothing he hasn’t done before.” Teddy supported in a shrug.

“That doesn’t make it okay.” She reminded him.

“You don’t get it mom.” I tried to argue. “There was a song stuck in my head, and I just, I had to create it. I wasn’t going to sleep anyway, so at least this way it got done! Besides, I fell asleep at three anyway.”

“Three?!” She repeated in shock.

“Better than not sleeping.” Teddy sighed, waiving Ryder over to him.

“I woke up to Romeo trying to carry me.” I muttered, looking over to the clock to see it was already eight in the morning. Five hours of sleep isn’t so bad. Is it?

“What a mistake that was.” Ryder muttered as Teddy began to rub his arm.

“Just, go to bed.” Mom sighed. “And I’m serious, never again with this.”

I nodded my head, but the whole room knew it was only a matter of time before me and Ryder pulled another all-nighter. But hey, that’s the industry! When you have an idea you act on it. She’ll get over it when she hears us on the radio. I know she will.

************************************************************************************

When I finally woke back up I was thrilled to find missed texts and calls from Mark. I quickly picked up my phone and made my now daily call.

“Hey Oli.” Mark happily greeted. “So what? You ignoring my calls now?”

“Only slightly.” I smiled, happy to hear his voice. “I was up all night writing with Ryder. We’re almost done with our second song, and we’re going to try and record it and release it today.”

“Release it?!” Mark repeated in an excited voice. “That fast?”

“Ryder wants to capitalize on the media.” I shrugged. “They keep publishing the pictures of us, and saying I’m his son. So can you imagine all the attention we’re going to get when we drop a song together?”

“You’re not going to get too busy for me, are you?” He nervously asked.

“Dude! Never!” I quickly exclaimed. “I might not always be able to talk, but I’ll be around. Besides, I need something to do while Ryder and my brother are celebrating one another!”

“So I’m your Teddy?” He teased, knowing how much it would bother me.

Before I could even reply he broke out into laughter. “I’m glad you think it’s funny.” I sighed.

“I do.” He insisted. “Can we switch to FaceTime? I want to see you.”

“I-maybe.” I shrugged. “I just woke up though.”

“That’s okay!” He comforted. “You’re always a mess anyway, that’s one of the things I like about you. Besides you were all over TV in pajamas, what’s it matter?”

“Yeah, I still need to kill Ryder for that.” I mumbled as we both hit the button to turn on the camera.

“There he is.” Mark giggled as I came into view. It was clear he tried to quickly fix his hair, but the truth was it was as messy as mine! For someone who always tries to look his best, his hair was actually pretty long and always curled at the ends. But that had nothing on his soft features and light freckles!

“Hi.” I bashfully smiled.

“Hi.” He repeated in a giggle. “You don’t look that messy.”

“Good.” I muttered, looking at myself through the camera. “but you, you look good.” I forced out. “Like usual.”

“Like usual?” Mark repeated in a blush.

“Yeah, you usually look good.” I shrugged as I caught his blush.

“Good enough to keep around when you’re a rock star?” He asked with trouble in his eyes.

“Maybe.” I shrugged once more. “There will probably be a lot of guys and girls chasing me.” I couldn’t help but tease.

“Girls?” Mark repeated in a concerned voice.

“I like both.” I nodded. “Remember we used to talk about them. Wait, don’t you like girls too?”

“Not really.” He admitted as his eyes began to drift.

“But you had a girlfriend.” I pressured.

“I know.” He nodded his head. “But I don’t know. It wasn’t anything like it is with you.”

“Really?” I smiled as his eyes returned to me.

He quickly nodded his head. “You’re just, Oli.”

“I like you too.” I said as my smile grew. “And so do Ryder and Teddy, so that’s good right?”

“Yeah.” Mark cautiously nodded. “Do-do your parents know?”

“I think so.” I nodded my head. “Teddy said they don’t care though. They just want me to be happy. Does your dad know?”

“No.” He sighed. “Can you make sure your parents don’t tell him? I just, I don’t want him watching everything I’m doing.” He began to explain. “He always made me leave my door open when I was on the phone with Jess, and only let us hang out in the living room.”

“That’s kind of crazy.” I smiled. “I’ll make sure they don’t tell him. What was he so scared about?”

“Stuff.” Mark shrugged with a blush.

“What kind of stuff?” I pressured with a smirk.

“You know, like, like the stuff we spoke about the other day.” He confessed with a shy grin.

“He really thinks you’re going to try that?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“I don’t know.” Mark sighed.” He, just, never mind.” He let out as he grew quiet.

“You can tell me.” I tried to support. “Everything stays between us, right?”

“Right.” He nodded his head, but as his eyes returned to the screen they quickly fell away.

“We’ve never kept any secrets from one another anyway.” I shrugged. “You can always tell me anything.”

“He walked in on me one time.” Mark finally confessed. I shot him a confused look as I tried to figure out what he meant. “You know, um, jacking off.”

My face grew feverish red as I heard his words, but the second the smile fell from his face I fought it off. “Teddy told me that’s totally normal though.” I tried to comfort. “He said it’s a healthy thing.”

“I know, my dad said the same thing but I still don’t think he wants me doing it.” Mark confessed. “I’m just happy he didn’t notice it was guys.”

I felt my eyes quickly drift as I thought it all over. “Sorry, I forgot you don’t like talking,” He began.

“It’s okay.” I quickly interrupted. “It’s not that I don’t like talking about it, it just, it’s new to me.”

“Yeah.” Mark timidly smiled. “Have you ever watched anything?”

“One time.” I exhaled, forcing myself to be honest with him. “It was two girls and I, I wanted to see how they looked, but I just watched.”

“I did that before.” He nodded in an attempt to assure me I was normal. “I didn’t like it though.”

“Then I don’t think we watched the same video.” I teased drawing a laugh from him.

As the laugh disappeared concern took its place. “But are, are you going to be into guys like that?” He let out, quickly looking away.

“Oh yeah.” I confidently nodded thinking back to my dream.

The second Mark heard my confidence he looked right back to his camera. “Someone is sure of it.”

“The dream I told you about, it, it was about a guy.” I blushed, hiding that it wasn’t just about any guy, but about him.

“Oh, good.” He nodded his head. “Was it before or after we started dating?”

“None of your business.” I smirked as our eyes digitally connected. “Do-does it bother you that I’m so far behind?” I bravely asked. “You, you’re so comfortable with your body but I’m not.” To tell the truth the questions been on my mind for days now! I don’t want to lose him because I’m scared. And I certainly don’t want him cheating on me because of it!

“No.” He quickly shook his head. “Besides, you’re talking about all of this aren’t you?” I slowly nodded my head to his question. “So you’re getting comfortable with it, and maybe, maybe soon you’ll try it and then we’ll be even. Plus, I know some stuff so you can ask me anything and I’ll try and help!”

“Maybe I can,”

Before I could even finish the sentence there was a pounding on my door followed by it flying open. “Duh duh duh duh duh.” Ryder sang imitating a guitar. “Duh duh duh.” He continued “Let’s go!” He shouted in a growl. Before jumping onto my bed. “You ready to record?”

“I, no!” I shouted. “You didn’t even wait for me to say you could come in!”

“Oh come on, I was even singing A Day to Remember. I thought for sure that would give me a pass.” He pleaded, but the second he saw the facetime on my phone he picked himself up. “Oh, boyfriend time.” He exhaled backing off.

“Ryder! Shut up!” I exclaimed as Mark began to laugh. “We’ll record later!”

“Alright, don’t get all upset.” Ryder defended, standing up and walking towards the door.

“I don’t do this to you and Teddy.” I barked as he tried his hardest to hide his smile.

“You Ew’d at us when we kissed a few days ago.” Ryder shrugged.

“That’s what you get for kissing in front of people! Me and Mark don’t do that!” I argued, staying on his case.

“So you two kiss?” Ryder teased one last time before slamming the door and avoiding my wrath.

“He’s so annoying!” I groaned as Mark’s laughter grew stronger.

“You love him though.” Mark provoked. “I can see it.”

“Maybe.” I grumbled. “He kind of killed our mood though.”

“We had a mood?” Mark eagerly asked. “I mean, you think we did?”

“Yeah.” I shyly confessed. “Didn’t you?”

“Mhm.” Mark hummed in agreement. “What was that mood leading to?” He asked with a devious grin.

“Nothing.” I shook my head. “So turn off your dirty mind.”

“There’s only one way to do that!” Mark cackled making sure to push my buttons as much as he could.

I tried my hardest to keep a straight face but couldn’t help but giggle at his words. “Who would’ve guessed you would be the trouble in this relationship?”

“Following the rules gets boring.” He shrugged. “Do you think anyone in our class knows about us yet?”

“No.” I shook my head. “No one will catch on anyway. They’ll think we’re just being our usual selves.”

Mark nodded his head as his smile grew. “I’m lucky I always had you as my best friend.”

“Me too.” I smiled. “And now you’re my boyfriend.”

“Yup.” He happily agreed. “Boyfriend.” He quietly repeated. “I think everyone is going to be jealous.”

“Me too.” I nodded my head. “Mr. Rose is going to blow his top! You’re his favorite and I’m his least favorite!”

“He hates you.” Mark giggled in a nod. “Maybe I can work on that.”

“Don’t hold your breath.” I warned as Mark’s dad called out for him.

“Oh! My dad just got home.” Mark sighed. “He’s probably going to want to get lunch or something. I’ll text you later.”

“Okay.” I nodded my head. “You, you look cute today.” Was all I could think of.

“Well you look hot.” He winked, sending my heart racing.

As the call ended all I could do was lay back and think of him. I wonder how he gets me so well. How he knows to make me comfortable with everything. The more I thought about him the more I felt my mind wander. Eventually my youthful excitement got the better of me and I couldn’t help but fantasize about him.

We talk about sex a lot, don’t we? But that’s normal right? Teddy said it’s healthy. He said I’d be curious, and I’m sure as hell not bringing any questions to him! Besides Mark’s got some experience. He’s explored himself. He even said I can ask him anything. Anything? My mind asked as I felt my pants grow tighter.

“Sorry bud, Technician is coming in thirty so wrap up your facetime and get ready to record.” My phone dinged as Ryder texted me, showing he had learned his lesson about intruding.

I uncomfortably fidgeted in my bed as I waited for myself to relax, but no matter what I did my mind kept going right back to Mark. Come on! I groaned to myself. Every time I start to calm down Mark pops into my mind and then I’m right back to square one!

I raised my sheets and looked at the tent rising from my pants. Mark did say there’s only one way to turn it off, and I-I need this dealt with now. I cautiously lowered my hand but as the skin connected under my pants I felt my heart jump in my chest.

Maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I’m not ready yet. But as I thought it all over my hand stayed put. Maybe just a little bit.

I let out a breath as I felt my first taste of pleasure. No wonder Mark does this! It, it’s something else. I closed my eyes and thought of him as I kept exploring. All these years together. All this time we spent staying up all night and goofing around. Then he finally did it, that kiss. I thought as I quickly grabbed tissues off the bedside table and pulled the covers off. The kiss that finally woke me up to it all, and that dream. I know he didn’t actually cause it, but it was about him for a reason.

My head fell back as I recalled it. Even something as simple as his looks has me bothered right now. But then, then when I dreamt about him touching me. Before I knew it the sensation from that dream was right back in my pants. My spare hand instinctively forced them down and covered with the tissues I was holding. My body stiffened as I tried my hardest to hold off, but I was no match.

I proudly held my head high as it exploded out of me. I can’t even describe the feeling! It’s just, wow! No wonder Mark keeps talking about it! I-I need to do this more often!

Suddenly a feeling of shame began to fill me as I cleaned myself up. But then I thought back to Teddy’s words. About how he told me it’s something I should feel free to try. Hell, he had sex at my age! And look at him! He’s a doctor dating a rock star! If that’s not the dream life I don’t know what is.

Before I knew it the shame turned back into pride as I got changed and held my head high. I’m a man now! Forget being that stupid little kid I was! I’m going to be a rock star! I’m going to be a rock star with a boyfriend! No wonder Teddy was so worried after my dream! It’s a rabbit hole I’m just starting to fall down.

***********************************************************************************

I spent a few more minutes in the bathroom making sure everything was okay. Things are, well, sensitive, but normal. I took one last breath and nodded to myself in the mirror before heading downstairs.

“Mom.” I confidently spoke, as she sat at the counter reading a book. “Can you make sure you keep me and Mark dating a secret from his dad?”

“Dating!” My mom exclaimed turning towards Teddy and Ryder.

Suddenly all my new found confidence fell out the window as I slipped up. “I thought you knew!” I shouted, looking to Teddy for help.

“We kept it from them,” Teddy nervously shrugged. “Didn’t you say you wanted it to stay a secret for now?”

“I forgot!” I cried out. “I-I was just excited about dating!”

“Well don’t freak out.” Ryder tried to comfort. “Clearly you’re okay with telling people if you’re excited.”

“I don’t,”

“Hey.” Ryder let out seeing doubts beginning to rise within me. “If you’re excited you should be shouting it every chance you get. Especially in this family.”

I nodded and gulped as my mom turned back to me. “You’re dating Mark Roberts?”

“Maybe.” I shrugged with a blush.

“When did this start? You two have been best friends since pre-k!” She exclaimed, running through every little detail in her head. “I knew you two spoke a lot but I just,”

“Mom.” Teddy interrupted. “He’s going to be fourteen in two weeks, he can have a boyfriend.”

“Yes!” She agreed, trying to calm herself down. “Yes he can. It’s just, I have so many questions.”

“Uh oh.” Teddy giggled. “I don’t think he’ll be like I was at thirteen.”

“How were you?” I asked as my heart began to race.

“I just told her a lot.” He shrugged. “And we gossiped about guys constantly.”

“You two still do that.” I dismissed.

Her smile grew wider as she thought back on it all. “Having a gay son is the best thing to ever happen to me.” She nodded her head. “And now I have two!”

“I’m not gay.” I forced out starting to grow uncomfortable.

“Oh, okay.” She relaxed, finally reading my expressions. “I’m sorry, labels don’t matter. Whoever makes you happy.”

I quickly nodded my head as my dad wandered inside from a midafternoon swim. “Oli’s dating Mark.” My mom quickly shared.

“Ma!” Teddy reprimanded before I could.

“I’m sorry.” She apologized grabbing my arm and pulling me close. “I’m just proud!”

“Stop you psycho!” I cried out, pushing away from her.

“Hmm, and here I was thinking he’d be single most of his life.” Dad shrugged. “Good job bud.” He supported, ruffling my hair.

“Oh, and Teddy knew!” She let out, putting it all together. “Harrison, our boys trust each other!”

Ryder stood up and starting walking towards the basement. “Dave should be set up downstairs, why don’t we go get started?” He offered, finally giving me a way out.

“Sure!” I shouted quickly rushing over to him.

“Wait, why doesn’t Mark want his dad knowing?” Mom prodded.

“Leave it.” Teddy warned, helping to shield me. “Mark probably has good reasons for it, and if he told Oli it was only meant for Oli to hear.”

“Fine.” Mom surrendered letting me go. “So Harry make sure that you don’t,” She began as we made our way downstairs.

“Don’t worry.” Teddy supported, following us. “They’ll keep that a secret.”

I nodded my head but before I could say anything Ryder turned to look at him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“To watch.” Teddy shrugged, but Ryder shot him a serious look. “You don’t want me to?”

“I just, I can’t afford any distractions right now.” He sighed. “My attention needs to be on playing or on helping Oli. Why don’t you go take a nap on the beach?”

“But he, he just came out! I,”

“I’ll talk to you about it later.” I groaned, realizing the hole I had dug myself.

“Promise?” Teddy asked, starting to walk back up the stairs.

“Yup.” I nodded as he finally shut the door behind him.

“So how’s it feel?” Ryder asked giving me a push. “You’re finally out!”

“I don’t know.” I blushed. “Good I guess.” Ryder couldn’t help but smile as he saw the look on my face. As much as I want to hide it, well it feels like a huge weight was just lifted from my shoulders! That’s two big barriers down in one hour! If that’s not me, then I don’t know what is!

“I thought you said the drummer would be here.” A man with a ponytail complained as he sat back in his chair. “Where is this guy?”

“Right here.” Ryder motioned as I walked towards the kit.

“Hilarious.” The man rolled his eyes. “He does kinda looks like you. I know the media said,”

“He’s not my son!” Ryder groaned in a strict voice. “And he doesn’t look like me at all. He’s Teddy’s brother.”

“Oh.” The man raised his eyebrows. “And he’s your drummer?” The man asked. “Come on Ryder, you know I,”

Before he could say anything else I sat back and started to play. I saw the look on his face change as I went in more and more on it. Disrespect me like that because of my age? Get the hell out of here.

“That fucking good enough for ya?” I asked, breaking a drum stick over my knee and throwing it into the nearby wall.

“There are two of you now?!” The man groaned, leaning back further in his chair. “As if one musical hot head wasn’t bad enough!”

“Just, quiet.” Ryder silenced. “What song is our debut single? The rock one or the mixed one?”

“Rock one.” I decided. “That way we show your Messiah fans you’re not leaving Rock.”

“And they stick around even for the mixed one.” Ryder nodded his head. “Pay attention Dave, you might learn a thing or two from this kid.”

Dave shook his head and sighed. “I need names. The kid’s name, a band name and the single name.”

“This is Oli.” Ryder introduced. “And he has the names for everything.”

“The song name is Revival.” I explained “And we, we’re, our band name is Unity.” I timidly explained.

“Say it proudly.” Ryder encouraged. “The only way people are going to think it’s cool is if we think it’s cool.”

“Unity!” I said louder.

“Thatta boy.” Ryder nodded. “Trust me, even Messiah sounded stupid at first.”

I nodded as he walked over and started to move the kit into the recording booth. It took a few minutes but we finally got it organized exactly how I wanted it.

“Oliver,” Ryder began in a serious breath. “Are you certain you want to do this? There’s no going back after we record and release it.” He warned. “You see how the media starts rumors about me. You’re going to get the same exact treatment.”

“I won’t let them stop me.” I shook my head. “My whole life people have been making fun of me. What’s a few hundred more?”

Ryder let out a laugh and nodded. “That’s the Oli I started a band with.”

As he left the booth I felt nerves engulf me, but all I had to do was look at him through the glass to feel okay. I’ve practiced my whole life for this moment, and I won’t let it pass me by!

But still, no matter how excited I was about this chance, well, recording showed just how tedious making music can be. I spent nearly an hour and a half recording my beat for one eight minute song! Ryder made me keep running through different parts over and over and over again!

As I listened to it back it just sounded like a jumbled mess! But Ryder told me to imagine it as a whole, to try and envision what it would be like all put together. A few hours later that vision came to life as he recorded both the bass and guitar.

“You’re in for some sort of treat Oli.” Dave encouraged. “You’re watching the best in the business work. Learn from him.”

I nodded and watched him even closer. Dave wasn’t lying, everything Ryder did, well he made sure it was perfect. It had to meet his standard, and if it didn’t’, well there was hell to pay! When the song finally got finished and we all sat back and listened to it I felt Ryder excitedly shake me.

“Does that sound good or what?” He asked. “You wrote that kid!” He exclaimed before I could say anything. “The guitar and drums, that was all you bud!”

“That riff is his?” Dave asked in shock. “You’re lying.”

“Swear to god.” Ryder proudly nodded.

“Alright then.” Dave exhaled, working something over and hitting a button to send the new single out. “So this band is just old Ryder Sullivan and new Ryder Sullivan together. No pressure on me going forward.”

“Think the record label will like it?” Ryder asked looking to him. “I should’ve started my own years ago.”

“No you shouldn’t’ve.” Dave shook his head. “Those things are just money pits. Besides, the label you use doesn’t even matter. Everyone wants to publish the next Ryder Sullivan album.”

“Speaking of.” Ryder raised his eyebrows as his phone already began to ring.

I anxiously sat on the edge of my seat as I waited to hear what they had to say. “Kicks ass right?” Ryder asked, but the smile faded from his face as the other end spoke. “What the fuck? No it’s not a joke!” He shouted.

“I know its classic rock.” Ryder argued. “So you’re going to tell me what’s going to succeed in rock? Are you joking?” Ryder angrily shook his hand and clenched his fist. “Oh fuck you! I’ll go with another label then! And if that song leaks even slightly Warner Bros is going to get hit with such a big lawsuit it’ll close! Oh, and forget any Messiah albums I might write! That’s off the table!” He shouted before hanging up the phone.

“That was great until you brought up Messiah.” Dave groaned. “Now they probably know about the final album.”

“Who the fuck cares?” Ryder asked still heated from his conversation. “Just send it to Universal. They’ve been begging for me for years now.”

Ryder let out a sigh and turned to me as he saw the concern covering my face. “Trust me, they have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about.” He tried to comfort.

I nodded but stayed quiet as I waited for the next phone call. “Hey,” Ryder began as he picked up his phone. “So you’ll put it out?” Ryder asked as my heart began to race. “No? What do you mean no?” he repeated. “Oh go fuck yourself!” He hung up.

“We can try Sony or some indie.” Dave offered with a shrug.

“Fuck labels!” Ryder exhaled in frustration. “We’re releasing it ourselves. We have the file anyway. Let’s just throw it up on youtube and work something out with streaming services. Then a label will see how popular it is and get their heads out of their asses!”

I bit down hard on my lip as my emotions started to bubble inside of me. “Oliver.” Ryder called out, crouching in front of me. “Why do you look so worried?”

“Because no one will touch us.” I grumbled, trying my hardest to keep control.

“Who cares?” Ryder asked. “You know why they won’t? Because they said classic rock is dead!”

“It is.” I conceded starting to have second thoughts.

“Yup.” Ryder agreed. “Which is why we’re bringing it back.”

“Maybe we should just record the other,”

“Fuck that! Labels hear that song and they’ll be all over us.” Ryder tried to encourage. “I’m not giving them that power. If they see us fold now they’ll try and control everything we put out. If they can’t see our vision then fuck em.”

I grew quiet and stared off as Dave quickly made us a youtube account. “I probably shouldn’t’ve tried to play agent.” Ryder confessed. “But that doesn’t mean they’re right. Do you believe in that song you wrote? Because me and Dave sure do.”

“It kicks ass.” Dave spoke up. “I have a feeling you named it Revival for a reason.”

“Mhm.” Ryder nodded his head. “And revivals, they’re never easy. So are you going to give up or fight?”

“Fight.” I forced out.

“Good, right now we need to take a bet on ourselves.” Ryder rallied. “We need to bet that our opinion is better than theirs’. Thirteen years ago they told me metal was dead, and now they’re trying to tell me rock is dead. Are you going to take that?”

“Fuck no!” I shook my head, trying my hardest to match his determination with mine. But the truth was I’m scared, and I know a part of him is too. What if I’m not as good as I thought I was? What if Ryder has lost his touch? What if we fail? Then what?