The Acquittal - 16. Chapter 15

Jacob awoke the next morning, staring dully at his phone as the alarm gently sounded. He hit the button to silence it before climbing up from his prone position on his bed. He ran his fingers through his hair to straighten it somewhat before getting up to pull on some boxer briefs and a pair of shorts. The day was going to be hot again according to the forecast but he knew those days were numbered. Within a few weeks the air would get cooler as the kids went back to school and he would start getting more commissions for his work from the local area. He threw on a battered old tee shirt before stepping quietly out of his room, walking through the dark house to start breakfast.

He turned on the light in the kitchen and started making the coffee first, knowing that everyone was probably going to want some soon enough. Once that was started he began to prep bowls and utensils since most of the kids will just want cold cereal. He retrieved the boxes and set them on the counter for the boys to pick when they came in. Next, he pulled a package of bacon out of the fridge and set it on the counter for himself and the others. What wasn’t eaten in the morning would be his sandwich for lunch.

He went about all of his morning tasks, ignoring the ache in his heart that he went to sleep with the night before. He thought if he ignored it it would just disappear but he found it there waiting for him and there was little he could do to shake it. He didn’t really regret anything he said to Kyle last night. Maybe he was a little harsh. There was no point in pretending that they could fix what had broken years ago. His main regret was that Kyle might think he hated him. It wasn’t hate he felt. Just… pain. And loss. It was best to just put it all behind them and just stay friends. Kyle wasn’t going to come rushing back home to him and there was no point in pretending otherwise. He had his own life now, hundreds of miles away with his son and his job. He was here where he felt needed by the others. Without his friends, he was nothing. It might be awkward in the beginning but eventually things will cool. They can be friends and slowly forget they were anything else. Maybe Kyle will meet someone and fall in love. He’d like to see that. Maybe he’ll meet someone someday as well? Doubtful. Trust is a hard thing for him to manage anymore. He was happy with his life now.

The coffee was nearly done and he poured himself a cup. That’s when he became aware of someone else in the room with him. He turned his head towards the doorway to find the blonde haired, brown eyed boy he just met the day before, clad in blue and green pajamas looking up at him with still sleepy eyes and a forlorn expression. A mixture of pride and pain gripped Jacob’s heart. The little boy was the son he dreamed of having but never realized until today. A dream stolen from him. Selfishly, he wished he could dislike the boy but he loved him instantly the moment he saw him. Besides, the child had never harmed anyone. To fault him for the choices of others was wrong. And he understood how much damage that kind of rejection can do to a child.

“Hey, buddy,” he said softly as he knelt down smiling at the boy. “You’re up early.”

Matt slowly stepped up to him, rubbing his eyes as he moved up against Jacob and laid his head on his shoulder. Jacob lifted him up and held him close, feeling the warmth of his body as the boy snuggled against him and wrapped his small arms around his neck. The boy’s small voice half-whispering half-mumbling in his ear asked, “where’s my daddy?”

“He’s upstairs still sleeping, sweetie.” His hand went up to stroke his hair. He felt perfect. Like he belonged in his arms. None of the other boys felt this right. He loved them and was close to them but this felt so strong it brought a sting to his eyes. Matthew felt like protesting, wanting to see his father but the strong arms around him lulled him into a sense of comfort. He held on and closed his eyes drifting in and out of sleep. Jacob opted to just hold the boy and wait for awhile. Most of his preparations for breakfast were already done and he could tell Matt just needed to feel safe in this strange environment he wasn’t used to yet. He stood there in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and quietly sipped his coffee as the boy slept, supported in one arm.

Half a cup later, he felt silly just standing there so he lifted the boy into a more practical position so his free arm could start cracking eggs into a large bowl to scramble later. He hummed softly as he worked, adding milk to the eggs. He couldn’t help himself glancing toward his left shoulder at the small child. At one point, Matt opened his eyes and looked at him as a small smile formed on his face. His father’s smile. Jacob smiled back and leaned close to gently kiss his cheek. “Are you all awake now, Matthew,” he asked in a soft whisper. The boy nodded as his cheeks flushed a little red at the attention. “You wanna sit down and I’ll get you some cereal?” Matt looked at him, pondering for a moment. He didn’t want to move but his stomach did want food so he reluctantly nodded as hunger won the debate.

Jacob stepped over to the table and gently settled Matt into a chair and asked him which cereal he wanted. He was not at all surprised to hear “Frosted Flakes” as the answer, it having been Kyle’s goto choice when they were… younger. He poured the bowl and added milk before setting it in front of him with a spoon. He kept one eye carefully trained in case there were any accidents but he was pleased to see Matt handling the food with better precision than he expected. He checked the time before he turned on the radio. It was time for news and sports to fill the kitchen. The other boys will be waking soon and David should be showing up as well.

Within seconds of the radio filling the silence in the kitchen, Jacob heard the click of heels descending from the stairs. He was refilling his coffee as Stephanie entered the kitchen, dressed for work with her long blonde hair looking perfect. “Good morning,” she said with a bright smile.

Jacob looked over to her and nodded politely. “Mornin’.”

“Oh, God, coffee.” She looked around for a cup and Jacob helpfully supplied her with one as she moved to pour a small cup. “Thanks. I got a meeting when I get back to the office and it’s four hours away.” She looked at Jacob, her smile brightening as she took her first sip. “Perfect. I’m sorry we didn’t get much time to chat yesterday what with everything else going on.”

“Well, there’s always next time, I guess,” he said as politely as he could but he felt the need to be a little guarded around her. This was Kyle’s friend he didn’t know and wasn’t sure what she knew or didn’t know.

She grimaced and made a negative sound in her throat. “Doubtful there’ll be a next time. This is a little out of the way for me, but you never know. Kyle said something yesterday about coming back in a few weeks.”

He nodded, keeping his face neutral as possible. “We’ll be starting to harvest the apples starting next week and it’ll continue for about a month or so. I got to coordinate with the seasonal guys today to get them ready. Da… David usually makes the Labor Day weekend a bit of an event with everyone and their kids going out and picking the apples. What all of us pick we keep to make stuff like apple butter and pies and such.”

“Sounds like a lot of work. And a lot of fun.” She grinned a little. She glanced over at Matt and giggled, “Hey, little boy. What’re you doing up so early?” The boy smiled at his mother and just shrugged with his mouth full of cereal. Jacob wondered how she only just now noticed he was in the room. “Has he been a pain in the butt today,” she absently asked Jacob as she drank the hot coffee.

“No,” he said with a slight frown. “He’s been fine. A little out of sorts maybe being in a new place.”

“Well, he’s daddy’s problem now,” she said with a chuckle. “I need to get going. It was nice meeting you.” She gathered her things and stopped to give Matt a peck on the forehead as she waved goodbye and was gone.

Jacob stared at the door after her departure. He wasn’t sure he liked the idea of her around Matt very often. Maybe he should ask Kyle about that but felt it wasn’t his place to pry. After last night, he knew he had no right to say much of anything where he or his son was concerned. He just had to hope Kyle was doing the right thing for his son. He looked over at Matt and found him innocently eating his cereal, unaffected by his mother’s indifference. He smiled and opened the pack of bacon and started putting strips in the pan to start cooking.

Just as the bacon started to sizzle in the pan four more boys in pajamas wandered into the kitchen, mumbling their greetings to their uncle Jacob. He grinned and returned the affections before he started doling out bowls of cereal for them. Not long after, David stepped in with a beaming smile when he saw all of the boys at the table. “Good morning my favorite little team of boys.” Jacob couldn’t stop a grin from forming as the boys giggled and said their good mornings back to him, noticing his ears could pick Matt’s voice out of the others.

“Breakfast will be ready in a couple minutes, Dad, if you wanna grab some coffee,” he said like he’d been saying it for years.

“Don’t mind if I do,” he said cheerfully as he stepped up to pour himself a cup. “You must’ve been needing a lot to get going today if the pot is already this low.”

“Matt’s mom already woke up,” he said without emotion. “She grabbed a cup, talked for a bit and then left.”

“I see,” he took a sip and glanced at the table. “Chase, eat your breakfast, don’t play with it.” He watched the boy smile sheepishly and obeyed. He gave the boy a proud smile and turned his head back to Jacob as he leaned against the counter. “Kyle not up yet?”

Jacob shook his head. “Matt was first one in here. He was a little lost so he stuck with me. I haven’t seen Kyle y-yet.” That last part he tried to say casually but his tongue stuttered over the words.

David looked at him for a moment with a careful eye. Jacob didn’t stutter unless he was upset about something. “Something going on between you two?”

“No,” he could feel his voice tighten slightly as he remembered screaming and shutting Kyle down. “Everything is… it’s ok. Nothing to worry about.” He refocused on his task at the stove, trying to get done as he had the sudden urge to leave the room even as a part of him wanted to stay as close to Matt as possible.

David could see the little battle playing out in Jacob’s eyes. Whatever happened had wounded him but he didn’t want to pry in front of the kids. “Okay. What’s on the agenda for today?”

Thankful for the distraction of the days list he regained his composure, “the seasonal guys will be here later this morning to start on the Gala’s and Fuji’s. I’ll stress to them that it’ll be the first big harvest for those trees so they need to go easy. I’ll make sure everyone’s got plenty of water and supplies. I’ll probably be down there most of the day. I’m taking the truck to the public entrance. I left the carts parked in the storage barn down there.”

“Any of your stuff you need to handle,” he asked casually.

“Nothing that can’t wait until later in the afternoon after the workers are done.” He dished out some of the eggs and placed some toast and bacon on a plate and handed it to David. “Here you go. Take your medicine before you finish eating that.”

David grumbled even as he smirked. “Damn, you’re already onto me about that now?”

“Someone has to be,” he retorted with a smirk.

Jacob made his own plate as his dad pulled up a small stool at the kitchen table surrounded by little boys which he knew delighted the older man. As he plucked the toast out of the toaster and put some butter on it he felt a tug on his shorts. When he looked down he saw Matthew standing there looking up at him with wide expressive eyes. “Um. Can. Can I sit wit you?”

He smiled even as his heart fluttered. “Sure thing, sweetheart.” He grabbed his plate and moved to sit at the table where Matt had been sitting. The boy walked up to him and, with a little help, climbed up onto Jacob’s lap. As he ate, the boy leaned back and he could feel the boy relax again. It gave him a familiar feeling inside him he hadn’t felt since the first time Kyle spoke to him back in high school. As if some invisible connection was being made and he was powerless to stop it and wouldn’t even if he could. He kept an arm around the boy to keep him balanced so he wouldn’t fall as the other boys chattered between themselves.

David was busy eating and keeping the other boys in line so he didn’t see Matt joining Jacob at the table. He was about to ask Jacob a question when he turned to look at him. Whatever he meant to ask him got lost in his mind when he saw a peaceful look on Jacob’s face he had never seen before in all the years he had known him. It filled the man with renewed hope and he broke out in a gentle smile as he remarked, “Jacob, it looks like you’ve made a new friend.”

Jacob looked up at him and blushed slightly under his tanned skin. “W-well, he looked a little scared this morning so he’s been in here with me keeping me company.” He broke off a small piece of his bacon and offered it to Matt who took it with a happy smile and stuffed it into his mouth.

David snickered. “Well, he seems to have taken to you pretty fast.”

“Yeah,” Jacob said in a quiet, gentle voice as he looked down at the boy. David knew then just how much Jacob loved the boy and hoped it would be something that would help him and Kyle through whatever was going on between them. For now, he was content to just sit and enjoy the moment. He suddenly realized he had five young boys at the table and five men who he loved and cherished as if they were his own kids. It brought a smile to his face tinged with a little sadness that there was one missing piece that would make it all perfect in his mind. And, unlike Jacob and Kyle, his missing piece was never going to return.

It wasn’t long after everyone finished breakfast that Jacob went back upstairs to get ready for his day, much to Matt’s disappointment. He was mollified by the promise that he had a day of fun and games ahead of him with his grandpa and his four new friends who David noted were bonding with Matt pretty quickly.

It was a couple hours afterwards when the boys were playing in the living room that David heard Kyle’s footsteps coming down the stairs. He stood up from his seat and walked into the hallway, noting he was already fully dressed and had his bag over his shoulder and his briefcase in his other hand. David looked at him in confusion as he reach the bottom of the stairs. “What’s going on,” he asked his son.

“I need to get Matt and head back home,” he said simply, his brown eyes seemed dull to David and he began to get concerned.

“But, he just got here,” he said wistfully. “And you’re on vacation.”

“Not anymore,” Kyle responded. “I was assigned a case involving a murder and they want me to go over the crime scene before they start breaking it down. I told them I’d be there later today.”

David felt his heart drop into his stomach. He just got his family and now it was being taken from him again. “But… couldn’t Matthew stay? He’s having fun with the others and he’s taken a strong liking to Jac-”

“No, dad,” his voice took on a strained tone. “I’m sorry, I wish we could stay longer but Matt is my responsibility and I need to take him home with me.”

David looked into his son’s eyes. He could tell there was something else he wasn’t being told. Something happened, he was sure but he knew he couldn’t fight Kyle on this and come out of it without possibly pushing him away. “I see,” he couldn’t hide his disappointment. “You could at least get something to eat before you leave. Matt needs to get clothes on too.”

Kyle sighed deeply, hating that he has to do this but he felt he could give in at least a little to his father’s request. “Ok. Half an hour and then I need to be heading back.”

David nodded and smiled cheerlessly. “Alright then. What are you going to do with Matt while you’re busy working?”

“I’ll have the babysitter come stay with him for the couple hours I’ll be busy. Then I’ll be home.”

David couldn’t shake the sense of melancholy as he said quietly, “I’ll go get Matt dressed. There should be something for you to eat before you leave.” He turned and walked back in the living room, leaving Kyle to himself. Standing there in front of the five young boys, he instructed them to start putting the toys away and rolling up the sleeping bags. Once that got started, he took Matt upstairs to get him dressed all while talking to the boy and finding out little tidbits about his likes and dislikes he hadn’t had time to ask yet. He felt like he was rushing things and in truth he probably was. But, he wasn’t sure exactly when he’d get to see his only grandson and wanted to make sure he was loved and wanted in this home. It also occurred to him that there was no guarantee that Kyle would return. Even after going years without seeing him a father can still tell when his son is hurting inside. He had to find a way to get him back.

After that was done, he brought Matt downstairs to sit with his friends and watch cartoons, taking his small bag into the kitchen, finding Kyle sitting there, eating a bowl of cereal exactly where his son had been sitting only hours before. He slid into the seat across from him and watched him wordlessly eat, his face seemed pensive though he was trying to look casual. “Did you wanna say goodbye to Jacob before you left,” he asked, trying to be helpful, “I could call him up here in no time.”

“Not really, no,” he muttered without looking up from his bowl.

David’s lips pressed together in a thin line on his face as his patience was nearing its end. When he spoke again his voice was of a father to an errant child. “Alright. Out with it. What happened between you two?”

Kyle’s head popped up instinctively in surprise and a little fear. No matter how old someone gets, the voice of a parent demanding answers always cuts through. “It’s not anything important, dad. I’m not mad at him or anything.”

“But something did happen.” He frowned as his son tried to be vague with him. His tone made sure his son got the message that he wasn’t putting up with his word play today.

“Dad,” he sighed, trying to wiggle out of this conversation. “I’m not leaving because I’m upset. I’m leaving because I have a job to do. Like it or not, it’s a couple hundred miles east of here. As much as I wish I could stay, I can’t. As for Jacob and I, he let me know in no uncertain terms how he felt about me last night and I’m ok with his decision.”

Feeling only slightly satisfied with his answer, David backed down a little. “So, when will you be back?”

“I’m not sure,” he replied honestly. “We’ll be here Labor Day weekend for sure. Not sure how long that will be though.”

“Kyle,” he began, “I am begging you to please not take my grandson away after I just met him. You’ve had three years with him and I’ve had less than twenty-four hours.” He couldn’t hide his yearning to spend time with his grandson as his voice became more of a plea. He also wanted to give Kyle a reason to come back before Labor Day. Whatever was going on between him and Jacob sounded serious. He needed time to figure it out. “You could come back this weekend and get him. If it’s a question of gas money or anything like that, I’d pay for it!”

Kyle sighed and put his spoon down. He couldn’t deny his father had a point. “I will ask him if he wants to stay. If he wants, he can stay and I’ll come back Friday.”

David smiled, feeling grateful. “Thank you. I promise he will have a great time.”

“I trust you,” he replied. “Just try not to spoil him too much.”

David was relieved as he got up from the table, stepping out of the kitchen and returning a few moments later with Matt. Kyle frowned slightly, already not feeling comfortable with this. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t feel comfortable with it but he felt like his life was going to change with the decision that about to be made. “Matthew,” David said to the little boy who looked up at him attentively, “your daddy needs to go do some very important things and it may take a couple days.” Matt stared at him, not understanding. He turned his eyes to his father, hoping he will make it clear.

“Matt, daddy has to do some work back home.” He paused to make sure he understood. When he saw the confusion leave the boy’s eyes he continued. “Do you want to stay here with Grandpa and your new friends or come home with me?”

The boy looked at his dad blankly. Kyle thought he might have to repeat himself with smaller words or fewer words until his son said in a slightly shy voice, “I can stay? With my friends?”

Kyle felt disappointed but he knew Matt had decided. He nodded his head and said softly, “Yeah, son. You can stay here.” He glanced up at his father who seemed pleased.

“Ok then, Matt. You can go back and play with the others.” Satisfied with that, Matt scampered out of the kitchen as David turned to regard his son. “It’ll be alright, son. He’ll be having a lot of fun while he’s here. He’ll be so busy he won’t have time to miss you.”

“Well, he has plenty of clothes to get him through a few days, I guess,” he didn’t mention that he was thinking more about missing his son rather than the other way around. “And I’ll be back Friday and leave Sunday. Should give you plenty of time together.”

“Now,” his father’s voice took on a slight edge again, “are you going to tell me what happened last night between you and Jacob? He was kind of short this morning and you’re dancing around the subject.” He pointed a finger at him and added, “and don’t tell me nothing because I’m still your father and I know when you’re upset.”

Kyle sighed and sat back in the chair, suddenly not hungry anymore. He stared at the table with sad eyes and said, “we talked. He yelled. I apologized. We talked some more and tried to reconcile. We couldn’t. So, that’s that.”

David’s face fell as his heart broke for his son. “Kyle,” he whispered quietly. “It was just one fight. Doesn’t mean you lost the war. If you really love him, you don’t give up. That was the mistake I made and Travis made. I pushed and he gave up. He wasn’t confident enough in himself to keep trying. I’d like to think that you are. Remember when you first met him? He was so scared and withdrawn. You were patient and compassionate with him for months. You can do that again if you want to.”

He shook his head sadly. “I wish it was that easy. But he was right. My life isn’t here anymore. Even if I could get him to see things my way, I’m not living here anymore. I can’t spend days with him and work to get him back.”

“Where you live is a choice you make,” David pointed out. “I know your job is important to you and I know you are good. You have to be, otherwise they wouldn’t call you back in the middle of your vacation. But, in the end, what matters is what makes you happy.”

Kyle’s eyes stayed on the table for a few moments before he stood up and declared, “I should get going. The sooner I get there, the sooner I can get this investigation moving.”

David stood and hugged him. “You come home soon as you can. I love you.”

“I love you to, dad,” he whispered. He released his hold on his dad and trotted into the front room to find his son. He stepped up and scooped the child up in his arms and hugged him close. “I gotta go to work. I love you.”

“Love you,” the boy smiled and hugged him back.

“You like all your new friends,” he asked with a smile. The boy nodded and giggled. “Ok,” he gave him a peck on the head before setting him down. “I’ll see you in a few days. Be good for your grandpa and play nice with the others.” His goodbye’s said, he left the room and headed out of the house through the kitchen.

****

As Troy pulled up to the Howard home later that afternoon, he noticed Kyle’s car missing and wondered where he could have gone. He got out, feeling like he was in a hurry to get home to Liz. her legs had been bothering her this morning but her texts continued throughout the day so he figured she couldn’t be that bad off but he still wanted to return to her as soon as possible. He walked in through the back door and made his way through the house as he called out, “boys, dad’s here. Let’s get ready to go.”

He heard activity coming from the living room just as he came to the doorway. He peered inside and saw his two boy plus Matthew. His mouth broke into a wide smile seeing the adorable new boy who was sitting with his youngest. Tanner and Blake were nowhere in sight so he figured Andy or Brian already picked them up. David was watching the boys and directing them to get their games cleared from the floor before he looked up at Troy in the doorway. “Long day?”

“Where’s Kyle,” he asked curiously as he leaned down to hug his boys.

“He went back home,” David said with a frown.

Troy frowned a little in concern. “What happened?”

“Well,” his eyes wandered to Matt sitting on the floor playing a game, “he was given an assignment and he had to go home to do some sort of investigation or something.” He let his tone tell Troy he had a hard time believing that was his real excuse.

Troy frowned a little and asked, “and where’s Jacob been all day?”

“Anywhere but here,” he replied simply.

Troy sighed. “Boys, hang tight for a minute. Dad’s gotta do something real quick.” He let go of his son and stood back up, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. He walked out of the room as he called up Jacob. When Jacob answered he said quietly, “hey, where’re you at?”

“I’m heading to my workshop now, why?” His voice betrayed no emotion as if it was just another day.

“I’ll see you when you get there.” Troy ended the call before waiting for a response and walked out the house and across the blacktop drive towards the workshop and waited. It was only a couple minutes before Jacob’s truck pulled up and parked next to the workshop. Troy regarded him with a mixture of disappointment and irritation. Jacob stared at him oddly and carefully walked towards him. When he got close enough, Troy opened the door to the workshop for him and said, “congratulations,” before stepping inside out of the sun.

“What do you mean?” Jacob stepped in behind him, confused.

Troy pointed out the door at the driveway between them and the house and said, “see anything missing?”

Jacob looked behind him. It took him a moment before he noticed which car wasn’t there. He sighed and looked back at Troy with a little of his own irritation. “Kyle left?”

“Yup,” Troy nodded. “So, would you like to tell me what happened?”

Jacob’s jaw clenched as he walked past him to his work desk. “I don’t have to explain anything. It’s between me and Kyle.”

Troy watched him as he sat down onto his stool, shoulders slumped, not moving. He walked up and pulled out the stool near him and sat down, staring at Jacob intently. He let the silence linger for a moment before he muttered quietly, “you know, I can still remember that day so clearly when Kyle just jumped out of his seat at our lunch table and walked right over to you. I remember thinking to myself, ‘what the hell is he up to?’ I watched and I waited... Then I see him leaving school with you and he’s not telling me anything. My closest friend I’ve had my whole life and he’s got some secret going with this kid I know next to nothing about.”

He kept his eyes trained on Jacob’s face as he continued. “I look back on it all now and I realize I never did thank him for that. He gave us, gave me, one of the best friends I could have ever hoped for. You’re right that you don’t have to explain anything to me. You don’t owe me anything. I’m just a guy, sitting here, trying to be your friend and his friend. Someone who wants you both to be happy and I feel that you’re not happy and you haven’t been in a long time. I love you. You’re like a brother to me, same as Kyle. If you don’t want to tell me what happened, that’s your choice.”

Jacob’s eyes glanced over at his friend before looking back down at the desk below him. Slowly he shook his head as he said softly, “I’m not sure what’s going on. I’ve spent so long keeping everything bottled up, I don’t know how I feel about stuff anymore. I was wanting to kick his ass the second I saw him. Then I felt bad about that and tried to make it up to him. Then I find out he has a kid,” his face darkened slightly. “The.. The one we talked about having. Then he’s all like, ‘so, what do you think about Matt,’ and I just lost my temper.”

“What did you do, exactly?” He kept his his voice neutral, wanting Jacob to know he’s not taking sides.

He glowered slightly and replied, “I guess… I yelled at him. I couldn’t help it. I just felt so… cheated, you know? I did everything I thought was right. I know I made a mistake and I can’t take it back. There hasn’t been a day gone by I don’t regret it. But… to just up and leave me like that… And then he comes back… successful… has a son…” He sighed. “He did it all without me and I was so mad. I wanted him to feel the pain he made me feel. And I told him… I told him that what he did to me was worse than what my dad ever did to me.”

One side of Troy’s mouth ticked up slightly. “Sounds normal to me. I think you’re afraid of being hurt again by someone you loved and you’re not sure you wanna take that chance again. Thing is, you have to take the risk. If you don’t you’ll never know what could have been.” He stood up and patted Jacob’s back affectionately. “He’ll be back soon, I’m sure. You may wanna explain some of what’s going on inside of you to him. Might help things between the two of you. Also, you owe him an apology. I know he hurt you. But, you gotta remember you hurt him too. But comparing him to your dad went a little too far.”

“How’re you so sure he’s coming back,” he asked dubiously.

Troy shrugged, “he has to come back to get Matt at some point.”

Jacob blinked as his face brightened a little. “Matthew’s still here?”

Troy noticed the change in his face and smirked a little. “Yeah. He’s still here. May wanna ask Dad about that. I’m sure he had a hand in that. Anyway, I need to get the kids and get home. Liz has been having a day and I probably need to make dinner. Or order pizza.” He gave him another pat on his back before he walked away. He stopped just as he got to the door and turned around. “Jacob? Kyle might have been successful with being a lawyer and all, but you’ve come just as far as he has. If you ever question that, look at where you’re sitting. And I can’t believe for a moment Matthew Jacob isn’t a part of you as far as Kyle is concerned.” Done with what he had to say, he stepped outside, closing the door behind him.

Jacob sat there at his desk, looking over the list of things he needed to do. He stared at it for awhile, wondering where to start. He had a few orders for more furniture and a few other odds and ends. He already had the designs finished for the clients to go over. Once he got them scanned later tonight he would email them and get feedback before starting work. He prefered taking his time and making sure he got the job right the first time. He usually took a little longer than others but no one could fault him for his attention to detail.

He put the list down and went over to the back corner where he kept his more personal items. The loveseat and the small table next to it was something he treasured. Just like Kyle, it brought back comforting memories to him. As he sat down he reached over to pick up his discarded notebook from the night before. He picked up the pencil and flipped through the pages until he got back to the page he had been on the night before.

He studied the image of Kyle’s face on the page and slowly started adding detail he didn’t have time to do last night. He used drawing like this as a way to relax but after his outburst he had lost his peace and just sat there for awhile before going to bed. He spent his entire day with the workers in the groves thinking about what happened the night before. The morning had brought relief and an unexpected chance to spend time with Matthew. He seemed so much like his father but without the scars of the past. Shy at first but confident and outgoing once he was more secure in his surroundings. He added some more detail to the neck and jawline of the face on the page. He knew he should get inside and find out what was going on and get dinner started. Reluctantly, he put the notebook away and headed out of the workshop.

Troy’s van was already gone as he crossed the large open concrete drive they had all put in together years ago. He was proud of the improvements he had helped to make here. Some of them took a little effort to convince David they were necessary or would make things easier. He was proud of the door that lead to the kitchen most of all. He spent days working on it, getting the intricate etchings just right. He wanted to do more but David was skeptical. He was hoping he could do the front doors to the house next year if David would let him. He had considered leaving in the past. Especially after Kyle left. It was hard to see a future without him in it so the drinking turned into a support to keep him from dwelling on it and allowed him some small semblance of a life. He really wanted a drink right now. But, he always wanted a drink.

David had encouraged him to be patient for the first few years until Kyle graduated from law school. He remembered the day David returned home from Kyle’s graduation and the empty look in his eyes. He had tried his best to reconcile with Kyle then and had failed. That was the day he started being angry with himself and with Kyle but he took out his anger on himself and he nearly did leave that time for good but David begged him to stay. Jacob knew then he couldn’t leave knowing David had lost his son, probably for good and it was all his fault. He realized early on that he had in some ways taken Kyle’s place in the home. There were still some things he could never replace totally but he did take on the job of learning how the apple orchard was ran and what needed to be done throughout the yearly cycle. He also managed to find time to perfect his own craft which he enjoyed more than anything else.

Kyle’s return hadn’t been planned in his mind. Even though he had thought about him every day and with the alcohol gone, the pain was harder to deal with. He had been tempted that first day when he felt nothing but anger and resentment towards him to go hide somewhere and find a bottle to take with him but Brian and the others would have been onto him and he couldn’t bring himself to disappoint them. They relied on him to care for their kids and he couldn’t do that if he was drinking all day long. Now with Kyle’s return, not to mention the stunning revelation of him having as son, he had to learn to deal with this new normal. He would be coming back again and again and each time he would have to bury his feelings deep to keep from hurting with the knowledge that he would be right there in front of him but never able to touch him.

At least with Matt, he didn’t have to completely hold back. He wanted to have a relationship with the boy even if it was only as another person in his life no different from Tanner or the other kids. It was surreal to him how quickly he felt a bond with the little boy. Maybe it was because of the name. Matthew Jacob. Each time he thought about it, it sent a shiver down his spine that ended with his heart swelling in his chest. He wanted to give the child anything he needed. Holding him in his arms earlier in the morning had felt like a dream come true. It became a casual and comfortable feeling. He wondered if Matthew felt the same way but no matter what, he would love that boy as his own for the rest of his life.

Jacob stepped inside the house and quietly closed the door behind him before making his way through the kitchen and down the hall, heading towards the living room. As he peeked inside the doorway he smiled seeing David leaned back on the couch with Matt in his arms as they watched the local news. David seemed so at peace, he was happy for him. He deserved this moment if anyone ever did. He broke the silence in the room, softly saying, “hey. Everything ok?”

David and Matt both turned their heads towards the sound of his voice. Jacob’s heart swelled again when the small boy broke out into a wide smile which he returned. “Everything done for the day,” David asked him with a small grin seeing his reaction to Matt.

“Yeah,” he replied, “I’m gonna head upstairs to shower and then was gonna start dinner. Anything in particular you want me to make or we need to use?”

“Well, Kyle didn’t mention anything about Matt being allergic to anything but maybe we should eat the leftovers from dinner last night.”

He nodded in agreement. “That’ll be easy.” His eyes went to the boy as he smiled wide again and asked, “does that sound good to you, Matt? The stuff we ate last night?”

“The hotdogs,” Matt asked.

Jacob snickered, “I think that’s a yes. Ok. I’ll run upstairs and get cleaned up and I’ll heat it all up for us.”

Jacob left the room and headed upstairs as David went back to watching the newscast on the screen, still smiling to himself. He ruffled Matt’s hair gently and asked him, “you like Jacob, don’t you?”

Matt looked up at his grandfather and said in a sweet voice, “He’s nice.”

David nodded and looked at his grandson with a small smirk. He leaned in close and said to him in a tender voice, “well, anytime you need something and I’m not around, you go get Jacob or call out to him and he’ll take care of you.”

“Ok,” the boy replied. David smiled as the simple logic took hold quickly in the boy’s head. They went back to watching the news as they waited for Jacob’s return.

****

Kyle pulled up in front of the address his office supplied him with. He didn’t need to guess if it was the right place. Yellow tape was stretched around the property and two police cruisers were parked in front of the house. He had stopped at home to clean up and change before he came out. Parking on the other side of the street, he slowly got out of his car and headed in the direction of the cruisers where he could see uniformed police sitting patiently within. He pulled his identification out of his pocket as the officer noticed him and opened his door to get out.

“Kyle Howard with the DA’s office,” he said simply as he showed his ID. The officer nodded before he continued, “where’s the detective in charge here?”

The officer pointed to the front door of the house. “In there, sir. You’ll need some gloves before you go in there.” The cop leaned into his car and pulled out a fresh pair of gloves and coverings for his shoes. He thanked the man and walked up to the door, putting on the latex before stepping inside.

When he opened the door he saw nothing out of the ordinary. A simple home with simple furnishings. He stepped carefully being mindful of anything to be found on the carpet. He hadn’t even crossed the room before a middle-aged man with a full head of brown hair that had started to grey came in through from the hallway. He was a few inches taller than Kyle with a few lines around the eyes and mouth. “You the prosecutor for this mess,” he asked gruffly.

He nodded and said, “Kyle Howard. My lucky day. Have you found anything new in the last day?”

The man frowned deeply, his eyes showing no emotion. “Detective Tom Harris. Been over the place a couple times so far. What we haven’t found is more interesting than what we have found.”

“Not sure if I like the sounds of this,” Kyle sighed. “Go ahead and tell me.”

“There were no signs of forced entry,” the detective began. “No evidence of a fight leading up to the stabbing. She bled out in the bed but the blood doesn’t go anywhere else in the whole house. We double checked for any prints but haven’t found anything yet.” The two men started walking down the narrow hallway from the front room. “She took three stabs. One to the throat and two more in the lower abdomen. From everything I’ve seen in here, it looks like she never expected it so that rules out a fight of some sort that turned violent.”

“Well, if she was on the bed when she was stabbed,” Kyle muttered thoughtfully, “that would make me think someone was in bed with her at the time. And if she wasn’t expecting it then it sounds like it was premeditated. You don’t bring a knife into a bedroom on the off chance you may wanna kill someone.”

The detective nodded in agreement. “The medical examiner is still going over the victims body. Probably another couple days or so before she comes up with anything. I’m thinking right now that’s our best bet for any evidence.” Harris pushed open the door to the bedroom, standing to one side of the doorway for Kyle to get a full look at the room before walking in.

Kyle’s eyes scanned the room intently. He saw the ruined bed covered with dried blood, staining the pink sheets and pillows a rusty brown color. His eyes tracked the bed looking for anything out of the ordinary beyond the obvious blood stains. Turning his attention to the dresser that rested against the wall near the door his went over closer to inspect the contents. Perfume bottles, a jewelry box and a couple small pictures set in frames. He carefully opened the box and found it’s contents still there. Not a theft then. Or, if there was, they weren’t looking for anything in here. Moving to the closet, he pulled the string to the light inside it and looked inside. Clothes on the rack and shoes underneath. Clean and tidy with no sign of a disturbance. On the shelf above he saw a couple shoe boxes. He pulled them down one at a time, lifting the lids, finding odds and ends. Some bits and pieces of what appeared to be junk to him but had some kind of significance to warrant her keeping it all stored away. It would need to be taken in as evidence, he concluded. Something in here might give them some sort of clue.

He scanned the room once more and sighed. The detective stood there stoically, watching him and looking the room over himself with a well practiced eye. Kyle put the shoeboxes back up and said, “make sure you get everything in here. I don’t want to pass up anything at this point.”

The man nodded as Kyle stepped out of the room, intending to check the kitchen but he impulsively stopped at the next door. He turned the knob, opening it and letting it swing open on the hinges. It was a simple bathroom with little of interest. He stepped in, inspecting the sink and mirror. He slowly flipped open the medicine cabinet with the tip of his finger. A few prescription drugs and a few over the counter painkillers. He inspected the drug bottles but didn’t bother to commit them to memory since they would be in the evidence report he would have on his desk by Monday. He started to make his way out when he suddenly stopped and frowned slightly, feeling like there was something he was missing. “Have you guys gone through this room yet,” he asked Harris who was standing in the door.

“Only a cursory inspection,” he said simply. “We’ll be tagging everything in the cabinet and anything else we find.

Kyle turned around, looking the room over again. It seemed normal but something in the back of his head kept telling him he was missing something. He took a step towards the tub and peered inside, seeing nothing of interest. “No suspect yet, no idea who it could be and no motive,” he muttered more to himself.

“It’s not gonna be easy but we’ll figure it out eventually,” Harris said with gruff confidence.

Kyle turned, looking down at the toilet. The water was still and it appeared clean by its appearance. He stared at it for a moment, examining the rim. He blinked a couple times and realized this was the oddity in the room. “She doesn’t have a roommate or anything like that that we know of?”

“Nope. It’s a rented house. Her name is the only one on the lease.”

“Well, I know two things about what happened the night she was killed,” Kyle muttered.

“Oh yeah,” the detective asked curiously.

Kyle looked up at Harris and said, “the killer was male and used the bathroom the night he killed her.”

Harris looked at him with a dubious expression. Kyle pointed at the toilet and let the detective pick up on what he noticed. He stared at it for a moment before his eyes lit up, a smirk making the lines on his wrinkled face slightly more prominent. “He left the toilet seat up.”

Kyle nodded and smirked. “Exactly.”

****

“Jacob!”

He could hear Kyle’s voice in a dark void. He sounded scared and that only urged Jacob to move quicker. But the sky was black and the trees seemed out of place and unfamiliar. He kept going from row to row, looking for any sign of him. He heard his name called again and he started to become fearful. He had to find Kyle before something happened to him. The faster he moved, the more lost he seemed to get. He started running and panting. His side hurt but he didn’t care. He had to find Kyle.

“Jacob!”

He stopped. That didn’t sound like Kyle’s voice. It was higher and sounded… younger? Like a little child. He looked around himself again. When he heard the voice call his name again, he realized who it was.

“Matt?” Jacob’s eyes flew open as he lay in bed. A heartbeat later he was out of bed and scrambling for his discarded clothes. He heard the plaintive call of his name again in the next room that nearly set his heart to breaking. Without stopping, he pulled his shorts up and hurried out into the hall to Kyle’s room.

Crouched up against the headboard, the little boy lay there with his legs drawn up to his chest. He looked frightened with his face covered in tears, glistening in the moonlight. Jacob’s heart ached as he moved towards the bed, his voice calm and quiet. “Matt? What’s wrong?”

The boy looked up at him as he crossed the room to turn on the small table lamp next to the bed. “Where’s daddy?”

Jacob sat close to him on the bed, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “He’s not here right now, Matt,” he said softly. “He’ll be back soon though, I promise.”

“I want daddy.” The boy’s face seemed less pained but still saddened.

Jacob held his arms out to him. Matt slowly unwound his arms and crawled into Jacob’s arms. He looked up at Jacob with a child’s innocence. Jacob felt like he was holding Kyle in his arms and was reminded of the times when he felt lost, lonely and unwanted. Kyle was the first person ever in his life that made him feel safe. “He’s doing something very important right now, Matt. But, I know your dad and I know he would rather be here with you than anywhere else in the world.” The boy’s face became more peaceful as he looked up at him. Jacob gently wiped the tears from his cheeks and smiled down at him wanting to make him feel as safe as he felt when Kyle did the same for him so long ago. “Did grandpa tell you that this was your daddy’s room when he was a little boy?”

Matt looked up at him surprised. “Really?”

Matt looked around the room curiously. Jacob smiled and stood up, holding the boy in his arms and walked him around the room. “Here’s all the awards he won when he was a swimmer. This is a picture of him from when he was in school…” he took his time showing Matt as much in the room as he could explain. Jacob rubbed Matt’s back and held him a little closer. “See? He’s all around you.”

As he turned back toward the bed, Matt stretched his arm over and pointed to a picture on the nearby desk and asked, “what’s that?”

Jacob looked to where Matt pointed and stopped. He stared at the picture for a moment before he said in a soft whisper, “that’s me and your dad. Your grandpa took that picture the night after he and I went to our senior prom.”

Matt reached as far as he could and grasped the picture frame in his hand, pulling it up to his face for a better look. Jacob looked at the picture with a wistful smile. Matt inspected the picture, comparing its contents to the huge man holding him in his arms now. He seemed surprised and confused. “You and daddy?”

Jacob chuckled slightly and nodded. “Yup. We were really young in that picture. Only eighteen years old.”

“You looked pretty,” the boy remarked.

“Me or your dad,” he asked with a grin.

Matt seemed to ponder the question before he answered, “both,” before breaking into a happy smile. Whatever distress he had felt earlier seemed long gone now.

“Ok. It’s time for little boys to be asleep,” Jacob said as he lifted the picture out of Matt’s hand and placed it back on the desk, giving it one more long look before gently kissing Matt’s forehead and setting him down in the bed.

“No!” The boy whined and grasped Jacob’s arms as he was laid down, looking up at him with his deep brown eyes.

“What is it,” he asked the boy with a little concern.

“Stay with me,” the boy asked him in a whispered plea.

Jacob looked at him for a moment before he said, “I guess so.” The boy smiled in relief which made Jacob not want to be anywhere else in that moment. He turned the light off and carefully crawled into the bed, laying down on his stomach, his left hand reached over to caress Matt’s hair.

A few moments passed before he felt Matt’s small body move closer to him, letting Jacob’s arm drape over his body. He sighed and said in a boyish whisper, “I miss daddy.”

“I miss him to, baby boy,” he replied softly. “Matt, you wanna know a secret?”

“What?”

“This is my favorite spot in the whole wide world.”

The boy asked, “why?”

Jacob was silent for a moment before he said in a soft, almost sad voice, “this is where I was when I knew I loved your dad.”

“You love daddy too,” the boy asked in surprise, never contemplating someone other than himself would love his dad.

He was thankful for the darkness in the room that hid the tear that rebelliously slid down his cheek. “Yeah.” He held Matt closer and closed his eyes. He meant to stay only until Matt was asleep but the familiarity of the surroundings and the emotions that came back with the memories he shared with Matt lulled him into a peaceful sleep. Matt yawned and snuggled close to his new friend and drifted off soon after.