Jump to content
    Jdonley75
  • Author
  • 2,366 Words
  • 7,617 Views
  • 23 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Acquittal - 10. Vignette - The Echoing Silence

Vignette - The Echoing Silence was unpublished for the following reason(s):

  • Removing story to edit
Taking a small detour from the main narrative.This story popped into my head and I couldn't really find a good place to insert it into the main story so I figured I would do it somewhere around this point.
It's small, short and to the point. I would be a bad person if I didn't thank @Headstall for his brilliant work in the piece "Oil and Water" which gave me the idea for this to begin with.

Jason sat quietly at the small table, staring out the window of the cafe as he waited patiently. He’d been there for half an hour, sipping his cooling tea and thinking about what lay ahead for him. The day had been full with phone calls and interviews while his boyfriend was working. Some decisions had already been made but there was one uncertainty left to settle. It wasn’t something he wanted to do. He’d avoided it for a year but now there was no more backing down. One way or another things were going to be settled.

Maybe it was being so deep in thought that he didn’t see him walk or even realize he was near until he felt a hand on his shoulder and a peck on his cheek. “Hey,” came Kyle’s usual greeting as he slid into the seat across from him. From his animated eyes, his boyfriend had some news to share. He was smiling for a change and it was almost like the smile he fell in love with back in law school. But his smiles rarely ever lit up his eyes like they used to. Jason felt a knot of discomfort start in his stomach. This wasn’t going to be as easy as he thought it was going to be. It never is with Kyle.

“Hey,” he returned with a small, cheerless smile on his lips.

Kyle seemed to not notice as he grinned. “Good news. Looks like next week I’m gonna be going to be a full fledged assistant in the DA’s office.”

Jason blinked in surprise. “Wow. How’d you manage to pull that off after only eight months interning?”

Kyle shrugged and grinned. Jason was mentally cursing. Why does he have to be that charming confident guy now of all times?! “Just lucky, I guess. Also, I think I impressed the boss with my handling of the deposition with that domestic battery case.” After a pause he continued in a more earnest tone. “Do you know what this means? We can actually afford to get a place bigger than a closet. Maybe a new car or newer at least. The salary isn’t much starting out but after a couple years if both of us are holding down jobs then we should be more than set for whatever we want to do. Isn’t that great?”

“Yeah…” Jason replied. “That’s great. Really great.” He wished Kyle’s boss would’ve waited a week.

“Wouldn’t it be great? You, me and Stephanie all working at the DA’s office together?”

“Well, she seems to like it… Did you get anything to drink?”

“Were we staying? I can if you want. You need a refill?”

Jason shrugged. “It’s up to you. I’m fine with whatever.”

Kyle looked at him with a little concern in his eyes. “Is everything okay? You didn’t fail your bar exam or something, did you?”

“No…”

“Is that ‘no, everything is not okay’ or ‘no, I didn’t fail the bar exam?’”

Jason looked down at his nearly empty cup. “I could use a refill…”

Kyle’s cheerful demeanor faded a little as he nodded. “Okay. I’ll be back in a minute.” Jason closed his eyes and sighed. It wasn’t fair that this was happening now, but then maybe it’s payback for all the times Kyle was unfair with him. Two years together and he couldn’t remember a solid six months they were happy together. When Kyle returned with two large mugs he took his seat again, sliding the tea across to Jason. “So, what’s going on?”

Jason tried to remember the script he made in his mind. “I’ve been thinking… We’ve been together all through our time at Dickerson. I still remember the day we met at Penn. Seems like a lifetime ago.”

Kyle’s mood started to fade as his face seemed to go cold. His eyes were fixed on Jason as he braced himself for the same argument that they’ve had for years. “Yeah. I remember too.”

Jason could hear Kyle’s emotions bleed away in those four words. But, he pressed on. “Kyle… this isn’t working for me.”

Kyle blinked, caught off guard. “What do you mean?”

“A couple shares things, Kyle. They trust each other.”

“I trust you.”

“God, I wish that were true.”

“What makes you think I don’t trust you?”

“Kyle…” He sighed. “The guy I met at Penn State, who I used to flirt with constantly, was so sweet and polite. He used to be helpful and loved to talk and laugh and be great to hang with at parties.”

“I’m still that person,” he insisted with a frown.

“Sometimes,” Jason conceded. “But you get into deep funks at times. You become depressed, moody and angry. I stuck with you through all that. But each time it happens, I ask you what’s wrong and you just shrug me off and won’t tell me what’s going on inside.”

Kyle’s eyes started to glance around the room, avoiding Jason’s gaze. “Why are we discussing this? I’m not always in a foul mood. I’ll admit I have some times when I just prefer to be left alone but it’s not like I’m psycho or anything.”

Jason raised his eyes to look back at Kyle as he asked, “would you agree that you were different four years ago compared to now?”

Kyle frowned as his tone became a little more defensive. “What does four years ago matter?”

“Were you interested in me four years ago? I mean, four years ago, would you have expected us to be dating? Living together?”

“No.”

Kyle said it so quickly and with so much certainty he may as well have punched Jason in the chest. He lifted his cup to his lips to mask the wince that came with that hurtful realization. “Why do you suppose that is?”

“Don’t do this…”

Jason couldn’t tell if he was pleading or warning him. “Don’t do what?”

“I’m not interested in talking about my past. Leave it there.”

“If I thought for a minute that your past was in the past, I would. But it hasn’t been. You can’t deny that we live together with this deafening silence that echoes between us. You won’t talk about whatever it is that’s bothering you and no amount of me reassuring you and telling you how much I love you and care about you can get you to open up.”

Kyle sighed in irritation. “Look, I am sorry that I sometimes fall into a funk. I wish there was something I could do about it but it just happens.”

“I’ve asked before. First time I saw you looking so depressed and sad. Like you’d lost your best friend or someone had died.” The sudden tick on the side of Kyle’s lips did not go unnoticed. “See? I just said something that upset you. Something about a best friend maybe? Is that’s what bothers you so much?”

Kyle sat back in his chair and stared down at his coffee. His brown eyes growing colder as he tried to get Jason out of this conversation. “It’s not important. What’s important is you and me.”

Jason had to fight down a laugh and a sob at the same time. “Just you and me, huh? Because you love me?”

“I do. Do you think I’m lying when I tell you that?”

“No…” he replied. “I think you’re lying to yourself.”

Genuine anger marred Kyle’s face as he looked up. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”

“You don’t act like a boyfriend most of the time, Kyle. It’s like I’m only allowed to have parts of you. Everything else is closed off. If you love me… If I mean as much as you say I do, you’ll tell me what happened that weekend you were gone.” Jason raised his cup to his lips.

“I’m not understanding how the two things go together. I love you. I’ve told you that more times than I can count. I just told you I got hired on at the DA’s office and I’m going to be a prosecutor and not just an aide or intern. Yeah, it will be awhile until I work up to important cases but I will get there. I’m doing all of that for us. I want us to be together and maybe start a family.”

Jason chuckled ruefully. “Kyle, you’re only twenty-six and I’m twenty-five. We’re not ready to be parents. There’s no way we could afford a baby right now or any time soon. And, to be honest, I’m not wild on the idea of having kids.”

“I didn’t mean today,” he nearly shouted and then suddenly slammed his mouth shut. He sighed and regained his composure. “I’m sorry. You’ve just thrown me off is all.”

If he hadn’t known Kyle for the last five years, he would have been frightened. But he knew while Kyle was a lot of things, he was not violent. “And you’re not answering my question.”

“What question?”

“What happened to you that weekend you were gone?”

“Which weekend? I haven’t left town in years.”

“You know which weekend I’m talking about. Halfway through our first semester at Dickerson. It was a Friday and I went looking for you and your roommate said you took off. I waited and you didn’t show back up until late Sunday night. When you came back you hardly said two words to anyone for like a month. You looked like… like something horrible had happened. I wanted to be a friend for you but you just kept quiet. I let it go, figuring you’d eventually say something. But then we got drunk and ended up in bed together. I think that’s kinda when we started dating, if you wanna call it that.”

Kyle’s world seemed to drop out from underneath him but he wouldn’t let it show. “What would you call what it is we’ve been doing for the last two years,” he asked carefully.

Jason looked down at his drink again and muttered, “That I’ve loved someone who really can’t love me back because he’s so mentally occupied hiding a great gaping wound in his heart that he pretends isn’t there. He’s my friend and my boyfriend and I love him to death but he seems to think I can’t be trusted with the uglier or inconvenient parts of his life.”

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe there just isn’t anything to talk about and that’s why I don’t talk about it?”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me nothing happened that weekend. Tell me you didn’t get your heart broken or your feelings hurt so bad you can’t talk about it three years later.”

“Can we just drop this?” He made an exasperated noise and waved his hands. “God, we should be out celebrating with Stephanie right now instead of sitting here drinking coffee and tea and arguing about nothing.”

“Is that your final word on all this?” A part of him hoped Kyle would take this last offered hand of support. This one last chance to really be together.

Kyle shrugged, seeing the easy out and taking it. “Yeah. Let’s just leave the past in the past and enjoy what we have now. So, when do you plan on taking your bar exam anyway?”

Jason looked out the window. He expected it to hurt more and was surprised to feel only a numb sense of loss. Still, he couldn’t look at Kyle without feeling a tear in his eye. “not for another two weeks or so.”

“Why wait? It doesn’t take that long.”

Kyle made his decision. It was time for Jason to make his. “Because I’m not taking it here.”

“Huh?! Where are you taking it?”

Jason closed his eyes not wanting to see Kyle’s hurt expression but this conversation just proved to him he made the right choice. “Illinois.”

“What the hell?! Why would you wanna--” The realization his Kyle full in the face. “Oh. I see.”

“Yeah.”

“So… when are you leaving?”

“Monday. I got a job offer at a firm in Springfield, Illinois. Pay is decent for the area. They already set me up for my exam after they received my records. I’ll be starting out in a pretty low position but I’m going out to visit on Monday to meet the people there and get a feel for the area.”

“Jason…”

“Let it go, Kyle. You made your choice. I’m not doing this because I don’t like you. I love you. But you always have a wall between us. I keep trying to knock it down but it’s so solid I can’t get through it no matter what. I’ve tried for two years in every way I could think of. You’re broken inside and it hurts me to see you hurting. But, you don’t want to tell me and think I just have to live with it. That’s not the kind of life I want to share with someone.”

“Jason…”

“It’s ok. Some things just aren’t meant to be. I fought and I lost. I can accept that. I’m sorry I couldn’t get you to trust me.” He stood up, knowing it was best to not let this linger. “I’m already packed for my trip. I’m gonna be staying with Stephanie until Monday if you wanna come say goodbye before then.” He watched Kyle’s stone cold face stare at the wall and knew that look well enough to know that he would hold it all in until he could be alone. “I hope someday you find someone who you can trust and love like you deserve. You really are the nicest guy I ever met. I’m just not the one for you.”

“Yeah,” Kyle muttered, looking up at him one last time. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

He stood there for a moment longer, hoping that maybe Kyle would try to make an effort but those bright brown eyes told him everything he needed to know. There was nothing left here but half a relationship with someone too stubborn to make the effort to do the right thing. “Goodbye, Kyle.” He walked away and out the door.

Like I said, not a big thing. Just a small story
Copyright © 2018 Jdonley75; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 49
  • Love 15
  • Wow 1
  • Sad 30
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
You are not currently following this author. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new stories they post.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments

Small story with a big impact.

The “Oil & Water” theme worked perfectly here except yours was an ending of a relationship and not a saving of it.  It is the exact kind of break up that should have happened between Jason & Kyle because Kyle wouldn’t have left.

This was really good.

  • Like 2
  • Love 3
Link to comment
2 minutes ago, FanLit said:

Small story with a big impact.

The “Oil & Water” theme worked perfectly here except yours was an ending of a relationship and not a saving of it.  It is the exact kind of break up that should have happened between Jason & Kyle because Kyle wouldn’t have left.

This was really good.

it was such a great story and then he and I had this back and forth in the comments about how close it came to not working out between them.  And then after I read it the third time (because, you never read a good story just once) I realized that the flip side of that story was how Jason and Kyle ended.  From there, it just burst out of my head in one sitting.

  • Like 2
  • Love 3
Link to comment
1 minute ago, Jdonley75 said:

it was such a great story and then he and I had this back and forth in the comments about how close it came to not working out between them.  And then after I read it the third time (because, you never read a good story just once) I realized that the flip side of that story was how Jason and Kyle ended.  From there, it just burst out of my head in one sitting.

Rightfully so, it’s very organic to their situation.

  • Like 1
  • Love 3
Link to comment

Great to fill in part of the story we knew happened, just not how, and not knowing how perceptive Jason was. 

 

Thanks 

  • Like 2
  • Love 3
Link to comment

Yes it was a small but very powerful chapter into Kyle's life. Just shows how much he still Loves Jacob. Sorry about that Jason but you'll find a guy. 

  • Like 1
  • Love 3
Link to comment

A small story? I don't think so, short yes, but big and with important detail that have relevance and impact. It's an important part of the background to The Acquittal, another great piece of work, thank you. 

  • Love 4
Link to comment
1 hour ago, Ezz0564 said:

Yes it was a small but very powerful chapter into Kyle's life. Just shows how much he still Loves Jacob. Sorry about that Jason but you'll find a guy. 

Looking back, I think Kyle more or less lied to himself more than anyone else just to have that relationship with Jason and try to make it work.  Jason had no idea what he was up against.  In some ways, neither did Kyle.

  • Like 1
  • Love 3
Link to comment

A small story, but a big part of Kyle. It contributes substantially toward explaining Kyle’s psyche. Thanks for finding a way to incorporate it into the story, @Jdonley75

  • Like 1
  • Love 3
Link to comment
2 hours ago, Dr. John NYC said:

A small story, but a big part of Kyle. It contributes substantially toward explaining Kyle’s psyche. Thanks for finding a way to incorporate it into the story, @Jdonley75

Kyle's time in law school and beyond was a very dark period for him.  Jason and Stephanie were about the only lights in his life until Matt came along.  In the end, I think he may have learned a very hard lesson about his attitude and how it affected others around him.

  • Like 1
  • Love 3
Link to comment
1 hour ago, Bft said:

I feel sorry for Jason me tried to make it work but Kyle wouldn’t let him in. 

Unfortunate but true.  I can't say for certain what kind of long-term effect that had on either of them.

  • Love 3
Link to comment

Poor Jason was always competing with a mysterious ghost from Kyle’s past. He was two critical letters away from being the right one. Kyle needs to resolve his issues with his past before he can really move on with his life. Even if it means he severs any remaining links to the Team (which I don’t think he can ever do), he needs to confront his demons and that means talking to his father and with Jacob!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
15 minutes ago, droughtquake said:

Poor Jason was always competing with a mysterious ghost from Kyle’s past. He was two critical letters away from being the right one. Kyle needs to resolve his issues with his past before he can really move on with his life. Even if it means he severs any remaining links to the Team (which I don’t think he can ever do), he needs to confront his demons and that means talking to his father and with Jacob!

Yes indeed.  And Kyle will have to resolve what he did to Jason at some point in the future.

He was two critical letters away from being the right one.  

That's only hilarious because it's true and I'm sure some day that will come up. 😄

  • Haha 4
Link to comment

What a good idea to insert this passage from Kyle's stormy life into the book.

It fits very well... in the right place!

Since everything in the story seems to be interconnected, I'm sure we'll still hear from Jason in the future.

JAcob and JAson.

Will a JAmes or a JAred emerge to brighten Kyle's life a little? 😉

  • Love 1
  • Haha 3
Link to comment

Chapter 10- Oh, look, Jason made an appearance. 

“Kyle…” He sighed. “The guy I met at Penn State, who I used to flirt with constantly, was so sweet and polite. He used to be helpful and loved to talk and laugh and be great to hang with at parties.”
“I’m still that person,” he insisted with a frown.
“Sometimes,” Jason conceded. “But you get into deep funks at times. You become depressed, moody and angry. I stuck with you through all that. But each time it happens, I ask you what’s wrong and you just shrug me off and won’t tell me what’s going on inside.” - My heart!!
“Goodbye, Kyle.” He walked away and out the door. - My heart!! 

Miss U Come Back GIF
 

  • Like 3
Link to comment

I hope @Dante Lucas is correct in that Jason may make an appearance at some point in time in the future in this story. He was certainly perceptive and ultimately made the right decision in protecting himself from Kyle's inability to address his problems. 

Short and bittersweet @Jdonley75.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
37 minutes ago, Summerabbacat said:

I hope @Dante Lucas is correct in that Jason may make an appearance at some point in time in the future in this story. He was certainly perceptive and ultimately made the right decision in protecting himself from Kyle's inability to address his problems. 

Short and bittersweet @Jdonley75.

You may well get your wish.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
On 7/24/2023 at 7:36 AM, Jdonley75 said:

You may well get your wish.

I tend to want HEA type of stuff or a least a clearing of the air type thing. Jason does deserve an explanation and maybe they will cross paths some day

  • Like 2
Link to comment
37 minutes ago, weinerdog said:

I tend to want HEA type of stuff or a least a clearing of the air type thing. Jason does deserve an explanation and maybe they will cross paths some day

Mmmm... Jason...  

That may take a while...

  • Fingers Crossed 1
Link to comment
View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Newsletter

    Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter.  Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..