Streak - 49. Chapter 49

February 23, 2003

Palo Alto, CA

JJ

“We’ll be landing shortly, Mr. Schluter,” the pilot said to me over the phone.

“Excellent,” I said curtly, trying not to be bitchy, even though I wasn’t doing a very good job of it. As soon as I hung up, I felt the plane start to descend, and in no time at all, we’d touched down in Palo Alto.

I tried to look out the window to see who was picking me up, but that would have required that I get up, and I wasn’t going to do that until I had to. The plane maneuvered until it got to the FBO, then the engines wound down, my clue to get up and get ready. I grabbed my satchel bag and stood up, making sure to put my weight on my left foot. I had a brace on the right one, but it was still hard to walk on it. “Do you need help down the stairs?” the pilot asked politely.

“No,” I snapped, and then paused. “I’m sorry if I’m bitchy. I don’t do injuries real well.” I hated to apologize to most people, but not to the people who worked for us. That was an obligation that had been drilled into my head by Grand and Grandmaman.

“You’re doing just fine, and I don’t blame you at all,” he said. “We were disappointed you won’t be able to skate in the Worlds. I figure that if we feel that way, you must really be pissed.”

That was really flattering, to know that these guys followed my career so closely, but that was followed by the depression when I thought about what a shambles that career was in. “Just a little,” I said, grinning. I looked beyond him and started down the stairs and saw Will waiting there to pick me up, driving his Ferrari.

“Hey!” he said cheerfully, practically bubbling with excitement. He could be one of the more annoying people in my life, but in this case, it was so refreshing to see that he was genuinely happy to see me. I restrained my initial desire to burst his happy bubble.

“Hey!” I said, as I limped down the stairs and gave him a big hug.

The co-pilot came over with my bags, which Will looked at dubiously, but he got even more nervous when he saw the guy carrying my crutches. “I hope those fit,” he said.

“They’re bulky but…” the co-pilot said, then stopped himself.

“They’re short,” I said in a pissy way. Yet another reminder of my physical inadequacies.

“Good thing,” Will said philosophically. I rolled my eyes and got into the passenger seat, leaving the rest of them to find space in the Ferrari for my stuff. It was impressive that they managed to do it.

“Thanks for coming to pick me up,” I said.

“It’s really good to see you,” he said. “I’m sorry about your knee.”

“It is what it is,” I said fatalistically.

“No one came with you to keep you company?” he asked, and sounded annoyed.

“Obviously not, and that’s a good thing, since there’s no room in your car for them,” I said.

“You’re crabbier than usual,” he said, giving me shit. “Maybe that’s why no one came along.”

“God damn right I’m crabby,” I shouted. “I fucking won Nationals, I’m on a rocket ship straight to Worlds, the brightest fucking star in the skating world, and then I fuck up my knee, and now I’m out for the rest of this season and probably next year too.”

“So you’ll have to do this all over again in another year,” he said fatalistically.

“You make it sound so fucking easy, but I don’t know if I can do that again. You have no idea how lucky I was at Nationals. It was a nightmare. They’re calling it the disaster in Dallas. All the top stars fucked up, and the only reason I won is because I fucked up the least!”

“Alright, it sucks to be you. So what are you going to do about it?” he asked me rudely.

“Get surgery on my knee, hopefully on Monday, go into rehab, and get back on the ice as soon as I can,” I said firmly. “Oh, and on top of that, I have to find a new coach, because Tiffany deserted me.”

“And in the meantime, you’re going to make everyone else’s life as miserable as yours,” he said in a snarky way. I glared at him, so ready to let him have it, but his words resonated, and I got what he was saying.

“Well yeah,” I said calmly. “Seems fair to me.” That made him laugh, and I ended up laughing with him. When I was done, I got a little paranoid. “Were they bitching about me?”

“Bitching about your bitching?” Will joked, only he got that I was serious. “I heard you were difficult to deal with.”

“They said that?” I demanded, even as I wondered who ‘they’ were. It was probably Matt. “They have no idea what’s coming their way when I get back.”

He laughed, and then got serious. “What if Alex decides to avoid your moodiness by just bailing and going back to England?”

“Did he threaten to do that?” I asked, totally horrified.

“No, but it makes sense that if you make his life a living hell, he’s going to try and escape,” he said logically.

“Fuck,” I said, getting despondent. “I hope I didn’t drive him away.”

“JJ, relax,” he said in a patronizing way that made me want to claw his eyes out. “Look, you’ve been a pain in the ass for a few days, and everyone expects that. I’m just saying that when you go back there, you have to be careful about how difficult you are.”

“So I haven’t fucked things up,” I concluded.

“Yet,” he said, and that got him a punch in the arm.

“So is everyone at Escorial, waiting to see me?” I asked, with both hope and dread.

“They’ll be there at dinner,” he said. “I’m not sure if Dad and Marc will be there.”

“Did they say they wouldn’t be?” That was pretty surprising.

“I don’t know what they said,” he told me. “I haven’t talked to Dad since I saw him in the City.”

“You get upset when he ignores you,” I taunted him. It was so fun to mess with him sometimes.

“When he rearranges his whole life so we’re not part of it at all, yeah, that pisses me off,” he said, getting pretty upset. And then it was like some emotional dam burst, and he started babbling loudly. “I’m not trying to monopolize his time, and I’m happy that he’s happy, but shit, he just vanished. I feel like I put so much work into trying to help him cope with those fucking grief attacks, not that he didn’t help me do the same thing, but now that he’s better, he tells me go to fuck myself and bails out on me.”

I was pretty impressed that he’d dived that deep into his psyche to tell me how he really felt, but then again, Will was usually a pretty candid person, at least with me. “I can see that,” I said. “But maybe this is one of those times where if you’re just mellow about it, things will work out.”

“Since when has being mellow worked with Dad?”

That was actually hilarious, so hilarious that I started laughing. My father was definitely not good at taking subtle hints. “True that.” I paused, collecting my words before going on. “Dad’s always been preoccupied with his own world, at least as far as I was concerned. I didn’t fight for his attention like you did. And when his love life is involved, it’s pretty obvious that none of the rest of us matter.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much the norm,” he grumbled.

“But the deal is that I’m cool with that, because instead of relying on him, I rely on my brothers, and on Stef, Grand, and Aunt Claire. That works out just fine for me.”

He smiled at me warmly. “That’s a really good point. You’re telling me I should focus on the people around me who want to be around me, not on the one who doesn’t.”

“I’m not convinced anyone really wants to be around you,” I told him, giving him shit.

“Yeah, this coming from a guy who’s as lovable and cuddly as a porcupine,” he said.

“Whatever,” I said in a petulant way, that made both of us laugh. “How are things with Zach?”

“So good it’s scary,” he said wistfully.

“Really?” I hadn’t expected that.

“It’s incredible how good we are together,” he said. “We just sort of instinctively know what the other person is thinking. I never have to ask him for space, and I never have to track him down because I want him to hang out with me. He just knows when to do it.”

“That’s really awesome,” I said sincerely. “Are you guys sharing a room?” I wondered if they were really living together, or if they were more distant than that.

Will shrugged. “He’s got his own room, but he spends most of his time in mine.”

“How’s he doing at Menlo?”

“Fine,” Will said. “He’s been to so many different schools, it’s like one more doesn’t matter. He’s pretty good at making friends, only he doesn’t let anyone get very close to him, so it’s like they’re all acquaintances.”

“Maybe that’s safer,” I said.

“Maybe,” he agreed, but he didn’t mean it. He was a social beast, and made friends easily. Sometimes he trusted them too easily, or so it seemed. I was so much more cautious around people than he was. “Kevin and Cody are living together in Malibu.”

“Stef said ‘they have repaired their relationship’,” I said, mimicking him and making Will laugh.

“Yeah, only Alex Danvers is hella pissed that Cody dumped him, and he’s been making life difficult for Cody.” This really didn’t impact me, but it was interesting gossip, so I played along.

“You mean he’s fucking with Cody’s business?”

“Yep, and that’s got Jackie, Cody’s boss, all pissed off,” Will said. “She never liked Kevin to begin with, so now it’s just that much worse.”

“Is she gonna fire him?” I asked, concerned.

“Stef talked to Cody and told him that if she does, he’ll back Cody so he can start up his own deal,” Will said.

“That could get interesting,” I mused, since Stef and Jackie were good friends. We drove on for a mile in silence, digesting our conversation.

“They hired a nurse to take care of you,” he said, changing the topic.

“I do not need a nurse,” I said firmly, saying each word slowly and with emphasis.

“I think you should think about that,” he said playfully.

“Why?”

He chuckled. “I think Darius hired her.”

“She’s smoking hot?”

“Dude, she’s on fire,” he said.

“Alright, maybe she can help me take a shower,” I joked.

“She’s hotter than Susannah,” he said, but he was just trying to probe into my brain to see how close Susannah and I were. Like I’d tell him.

“Awesome,” I said, annoying him that his plan didn’t work. We shut up as we drove up to the familiar gates, which opened automatically, and Will went up the drive at a respectable pace. He didn’t race like Matt, but he wasn’t as deliberate as Wade or Grand. I thought that was an apt description of his personality, how he wasn’t as hot-headed as Matt, but he was way more emotional than Grand.

I stared at the massive house as we drove up to it. For me, this was our ancestral home, kind of like Bridgemont was to Alex, or Goodwell was to Wade, but it wasn’t where I lived. It was a place I liked to visit and spend time. To Will, this place was the center of his world. Darius viewed it like I did; home for him was Malibu, or the LA area. I didn’t really have a home. Maybe that was part of my problem.

Will pulled up to the portico and I smiled at the group that was there to welcome me. Stef and Grand, Frank and Grandmaman, and Zach were all there, smiling at me. Stef was the first one to come over to me as I got out of the car. “It is so good to see you! Be careful with your knee!”

“I’ll be fine,” I said grumpily, even as I gave him a big hug. I’d always felt distant from him growing up: He’d had a tighter bond with Will, and even with Darius, than with me. But over the past few years, that had changed, as we’d bonded over our mutual love of fashion and decorating. I wasn’t sure if he had a favorite grandson, but if he did, at least now I was in the running. Before, I wasn’t even in the race.

“I am so glad you decided to come out and stay with us,” Grandmaman said. I went through and greeted the rest of them, person by person, until I finally got to Zach, who was last.

“Looking good, JJ,” he said, flirting with me. Before that would have bugged me, when I thought he was just a wolf on the prowl, but now I knew him better, and knew that was just his way of dealing with these uncomfortable greeting situations.

“Duh,” I said, and gave him a nice hug.

“We engaged a nurse to help you in case you need anything,” Stef said, and introduced me to Lori, who was so beautiful it was entirely conceivable that she was a stripper and this was a fake uniform. It was easy to visualize her stripping off her uniform as she danced around a pole, but I had to not think about that: I didn’t want to tent my pants while I shook her hand. Even though she wasn’t my type, there was no denying that she was really attractive.

“Nice to meet you,” I said.

“You’re probably fine now,” she said in a friendly way. “After your surgery, you may need more help.”

“It’s nice to know you’re around if I do,” I said pleasantly, and then glared at Will who was snickering at me. I needed to change the subject. “Is Dad here?”

“I was unable to reach him, but I left him a message,” Stef said, and sounded as irritated with him as Will was. “So we shall see.”

“Darius should be here later,” Will said.

“Awesome,” I said, and meant it. Like I’d told Will, if I had him and Darius and Matt in my corner, my father could dance off into his own world.

“He said he may miss dinner,” Stef augmented.

“That’s fine,” I said dismissively. As long as he made an appearance and I got to spend some time with him, I’d be happy.

It was early enough that I had time to escape from everyone and take a nap, and then freshen up for dinner. It was Sunday, and since I was visiting, I knew dinner would be a big deal. I hobbled up to the dining room on my crutches, and was enveloped by everyone else, but the most important addition was Aunt Claire.

“I feel so bad that I missed your performance in Dallas,” she said. “I saw it on television, though, and it was just beautiful.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“I am so proud of you,” she said, in a gushing way that was pretty out of character. That just made me love her more.

“We’ve got you set up for tests on Monday, and then the surgery is scheduled for Tuesday,” Uncle Jack said, being all task oriented about my injury.

“That sounds good. Thank you so much for setting things up.”

“I’m glad you came home to get it done,” he said. I didn’t argue about whether this was actually ‘home’ or not. “We’ve got a guy who’s a specialist in ACL tears, and he’ll do a good job.”

“I feel so much better about this, knowing that you’re here to help me through it,” I said, and even though I probably sounded like a total suck-up for saying that, I meant it, and he got that.

I was about to limp over to my seat when my father came in with Marc in tow. He smiled at me, putting on his best façade, but I could tell he was really pissed underneath it. Will was trying hard not to smile, which means he must be behind this latest thing that annoyed my father. “It’s good to see you!” he said, and gave me a big hug.

“Thanks,” I said, then focused on Marc. This guy was really good looking, but more than that, he had a way about him that made him look great no matter what he wore. Clothes just seemed to jump on his body with a determination to make him look great. “This jacket fits you perfectly!”

“Thanks,” he said, as we did a ‘man-hug’. “I found a good tailor in the City.”

We all sat down, and then Dad zeroed in on Grand. “Is there some reason that the mattress on the bed in my room is missing?”

“Do you still have a room here?” Will asked innocently. Dad ignored him, while Zach and I smirked at each other.

“I was not aware that the furniture in your room had been rearranged,” Grand said, and gave Will a foul look.

“It’s not like you need it,” Will said to Dad. “You can always just visit and not stay over.” That’s the same thing Dad had told him when he’d been in the City, at least as he’d relayed the story to me.

“Very funny,” Dad said.

“In the interim, we can accommodate you in one of the guest rooms,” Grandmaman said smoothly.

“Or there’s a hotel in town,” Will offered, trying not to laugh his ass off.

Dad ignored him and spoke to Grandmaman. “Thank you.” Dad was pissed off about this, and had all this righteous outrage, but he seemed to miss the fact that even though Grand and Grandmaman were playing along to be polite, they seemed to be pretty amused underneath their stoic exteriors.

March 1, 2003

Boston, MA

JJ

Eric drove up to the familiar house in Harvard Square, while I tried desperately to get myself into a good mood. I’d told Alex that I didn’t need anyone to come to the airport to pick me up, because I wanted him to not think I was being clingy and demanding. In reality, I had wanted him to be there, and I thought that Matt or Wade or both of them could have shown up too, but none of them did. Were these people that obtuse that they couldn’t read between the lines? “We’re home,” Eric announced unnecessarily.

“Thanks,” I said, and smiled at him. I used the time that it took him to get out of the car and open my door to cheer myself up. My conversation with Will had haunted me, and I was worried that I was being too bitchy, and that I’d end up driving all of these people, especially Alex, away from me. So I’d resolved to only be as bitchy as I normally was, and to not whine about my injury. I’d resolved to be a good companion to Alex, to make the best of this time we had in Boston. Mary Ellen had said that when the baby was born, Alex was moving back to England, or at least that was what she’d alluded to. I wasn’t sure if that was true or not, but just in case it was, this may be the last time we had to spend time together, alone, as a couple, without his shrew of a wife interfering in things. If this was all we had, I wanted it to be good. Only thinking about that had depressed me even more, so it took a herculean effort on my part to paint my happy face on as I limped to the door.

The weather did nothing to cheer me up. It was thirty degrees, and there were a couple of inches of snow on the ground. I noticed that the walkway had been shoveled quite meticulously, and that they’d put salt down to make sure it wasn’t slippery. I pretended they’d done that just for me, and used that to make myself happier. I walked through the door, expecting that no one would be there, but I was wrong about that, and that was the beginning of my mood change.

“How terrific that you are back!” Alex said, and gave me a long hug, and an even longer kiss. God, how I’d missed him.

“It’s good to be back,” I said, smiling at him. That seemed to surprise him. I guess he thought I’d be even more miserable post-surgery. I greeted Matt, Wade, and Tiffany, and even took a few minutes to say hello to the two brats. They called me Uncle Jays, which everyone but me thought was adorable.

“I figured you would be hungry,” I heard that familiar voice say, and then gave Rosa the second warmest greeting (after Alex).

“I’m always hungry when you’re cooking,” I said cheerfully. It was mildly annoying that they all looked surprised by my chipper mood.

“That is good, since dinner is ready,” she announced. I took a brief minute to pee and wash my hands then met them in the dining room.

“So your surgery was a success?” Tiffany asked. I tried not to glare at her, but it was tough. I could probably put on my happy face with the rest of them, but I was still really pissed at her. As I saw it, this whole injury, this whole nightmare, was her fault. Just because she decided to become Fertile Fanny, I’m supposed to toss my skating career out the window. But I fought those demons and answered as nicely as I could.

“The damage was worse than they thought, but the surgery went well,” I said.

“When can you skate again?” Matt asked.

“I’ll be in rehab for the next six months, and then I have to ease into skating,” I explained. “That means I probably won’t be ready to compete again until next March, maybe a little earlier.”

“You’ll miss the season,” Tiffany said, and looked guilty. Good.

“It’s unavoidable,” I said fatalistically. I’d all but pinned the surgeon to the ground, demanding that he fix it faster than that, but Uncle Jack had finally made me see reason, even though that hadn’t been a very pleasant conversation.

“That actually works out well,” Tiffany said cautiously. “You can go to the Olympics in 2006. You won Nationals. Now all that’s left is for you to win Worlds, and to win Gold in the Olympics.”

“Where are they being held in 2006?” Matt asked.

“Turin, Italy,” I said.

“Not a bad place to visit,” Alex observed. He loved going to Italy. He was such a renaissance man.

“It’s not, but that’s three years from now, and a lot can happen between now and then,” I said.

“Indeed,” he agreed. I forced my social persona to the forefront and we ended up having a really fun dinner. It bothered me that I felt like I set the whole tone for it, one way or the other. Like I needed that much pressure. That’s why I was usually quiet at big family events, but this time it worked out alright.

After dinner, I escaped back to my room with Alex, and he made love to me, taking me to that nirvana-like place that only he could do. He had truly erased all my bitchiness with one spectacular orgasm. We cleaned up the mess, which used to seem gross to me, but now it was just part of our merging. We lay side by side on the bed, gazing at each other. “You seem happier than I thought you’d be,” he said.

“It’s not fair for me to make your life miserable just because mine is,” I said.

“You don’t seem miserable,” he said, with a cheeky grin.

“Good point,” I said. “You take the misery and make it ecstasy.”

“I have only done that drug once,” he said, teasing me. “This was better.”

“I haven’t done drugs at all, so I wouldn’t know,” I said, putting my pure-as-the-driven-snow persona on.

“Then you will have to trust me,” he said. “I am glad you are handling this so well.” Evidently it was important to him that we talk about this, so I decided to oblige him.

“If I’m miserable, and I make you miserable, you won’t want to be around me,” I said, exposing my insecurities to him in an incredibly intimate way.

“Jays, I’m not that fickle,” he said, and was annoyed with me.

“So what happens when summer comes?” I blurted out.

“I don’t understand?”

“Aren’t you going back to England for the summer?”

He looked at me, as if he were surprised that this was an issue. “I am. It is important that I am there when my child is born, and it is important for me to spend time at home.”

“That’s what I mean,” I said, being way too petulant. “You won’t miss me at all?”

He smiled, in what seemed patronizing to me, and I was just about to go all-out-bitch on him, when his calm words stopped me. “I am very sorry. I was very presumptuous.”

“What?” I wasn’t following him.

“I had just assumed that you would come with me,” he said. “It was incredibly rude of me to make that assumption and not even let you know you were welcome.”

“I’d love to spend the summer with you, but I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” I told him. I hadn’t really planned to talk to him about my conversation with Mary Ellen at the wedding. I didn’t want him to get stuck in the middle of our drama. Well, that’s not true, I wanted him in the middle, but I didn’t want to be the one who pulled him in.

“And why would it not be a good idea?” he asked curiously.

“Mary Ellen talked to me about that at the wedding reception,” I said.

He studied me carefully, and then his brows narrowed slightly, showing that he was annoyed. “And what did she say?”

“She told me that I should enjoy this time in Boston with you, because when the baby was born, you and I were over, and I was out of your life,” I said to him. I made sure I looked into his eyes so he could see that I was sincere, and he’d know I was telling the truth.

“I am surprised she felt that she had the right to even talk about this with you, much less make those kinds of decisions for me,” he said. He was really irritated; I hadn’t expected this level of annoyance from him.

“I asked her if that was what you wanted, and she said that it was, you just didn’t know it yet,” I explained.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” he asked loudly, something completely out of character for him. But I kept my cool.

“I didn’t want to bother you with it,” I said. “I didn’t think you’d appreciate me bringing drama into your life.” He flopped onto his back and looked away from me, a visible gesture of rejection. “You’re not mad at me, are you?” I really hadn’t expected this conversation to upset him this much.

He sighed, something not all that usual for him, and looked back at me. “I am angry at the situation, not at you.”

“I didn’t really know what to think about it,” I told him. “Mary Ellen told me that if I came back to England with you in June, there would be, and I quote, a shitstorm.”

“And what constitutes a ‘shitstorm’?” he asked.

“How should I know?” Probably some Virginia term.

“I want you to come back to England with me this summer,” he said to me firmly.

“Are you sure about that?” I asked nervously, and that caused his brows to narrow again.

“I am very sure,” he said firmly.

“Mary Ellen’s mother is one of the biggest bitches in the world,” I said, telling him something we all knew. “What if Mary Ellen learned her methods? What if she’s the junior, apprentice version?”

That made him chuckle. “I do not think that Mary Ellen is that evil, or crafty. In any event, I think that she will see things differently in the summer. She spoke at our wedding, when emotions in general were running high. I think in the summer, cooler heads will prevail.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” I said.

“So you do not want to come to England with me?” And now he was annoyed again.

“No, I will gladly go with you,” I said hastily. “It’s just that I don’t think that’s Mary Ellen’s mode. I think that she does what she has to do to get what she wants.” I made it sound like that was a horrible thing, even though I wasn’t all that different, and neither was Alex. I guess it was the lengths I was willing to go to. I was pretty sure there were no real limits in Mary Ellen’s mind.

“It doesn’t matter,” he all but spat out. “I will not be ruled by my wife like my father is.”

“She does that to him?” I hadn’t gotten that perception when I’d met them, but then again, I’d only exchanged a few sentences with them.

“She does,” Alex said. “My step-mother has no respect for our heritage, and our position in society. She only cares about money. And that is the thing that consequently motivates my father.”

“No matter what Mary Ellen does, you’re not like that,” I said to him. “You’d never turn your back on your heritage or your obligations.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” he affirmed with a slight grin, and then frowned again. “But I will not be ruled by my wife. I will be the master of my own house.”

“I’ll back you up however I can,” I said reassuringly, but that was just pabulum. If I were being completely honest, I would have said ‘good luck with that’ in a snarky way.