Streak - 18. Chapter 18

October 3, 2002

Boston

Wade

I looked at the clock, as if I stared at it the time wouldn’t be 11:45pm. For the first time in a long time, I was pissed off at Matt. We’d gone to see JJ perform his short program, and then Matt had barely had time to hurry over to Simoni for hockey practice. I usually went on Thursdays, but after devoting most of my evening to JJ’s competition, I had to spend the rest of the night on my studies.

The practice was at 7:00, and it usually lasted an hour or so. Allowing time to shower and change, and then for a quick meeting, Matt should have been home by 9:00. It bothered me that it was over two hours after that, and he still wasn’t home, and he hadn’t bothered to call me. It bothered me even more that, even after I’d called him and left a message, he hadn’t bothered to return my call.

It would have been nice to have him around, since today had been a pretty freaky day. Last night, a man had been killed in the Washington DC area, which unfortunately wasn’t unusual. Then today, there had been five more attacks in the DC area. Five people had been shot, and four of those five were dead. They’d put the clues together and decided that it was the same person, and that individual was using some sort of sniper rifle to shoot at people from long range. Mary Ellen and Beau were both in Virginia but far from the capital, as was Nana, but I was worried about Trevor, because he was living in Georgetown. I’d called and talked to him, but he was typically unconcerned about this sniper on a rampage. As if the capital hadn’t suffered enough from the 9-11 Pentagon bombing, now it had to deal with whoever this psycho was.

I distracted myself by thinking about JJ’s competition. He’d done amazingly well, and ended up in first place after his short program. I knew he appreciated us being there, but at the same time, I couldn’t help but think that Alex being there was all that really mattered to him. He’d come onto the ice and had seemed almost panicked as he scanned the crowd for Alex. As soon as JJ had spotted him, he’d relaxed and performed exceptionally well. I’m sure the rest of the spectators didn’t get that impression, but I did. And when he’d finished his program, it was as if his ending bow was directed at Alex. To be fair, Alex seemed just as excited to watch JJ as JJ was excited to have Alex watch him.

I hadn’t been very happy about Alex and JJ dating, although I was nowhere near as paranoid as Brad and Matt had been. But Will had explained things to Brad, and that had trickled down to the rest of us, so we’d all mellowed out about things. Then last week I’d walked to campus with Alex, and he’d talked about JJ, and it was impossible to miss how into him Alex was. I guess I found that hard to grasp, since JJ had always been a bitchy little thing, and that had made him pretty unattractive as far as I was concerned. But the end result was that we’d all freaked out in our own way, and that had sent a message to Alex that we were watching out for JJ. Even though I had never had a specific conversation with Alex about him going out with JJ, we’d communicated enough that I was pretty laid back about it. The tension that Alex had felt had evaporated, and everyone seemed content with our living situation.

I heard the big grandfather clock downstairs as it gonged out midnight, and that only made me angrier. I was just finishing a chapter, and making some notes, when I heard feet clumping on the stairs. “Hey,” Matt said as he came into the room. He was pretty drunk. I just gave him an irritated look and said nothing. Instead, I focused on finishing my notes, and deliberately putting my things back in my backpack in an organized way.

Matt sat on the bed and just stared at me, although he could have just been zoning out. It was hard to tell. I got up and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and go through my nighttime ritual. He came into the bathroom just as I was leaving, and I bumped into him by mistake. “Excuse me,” I said politely, if not a bit frigidly. I got into bed, leaving my boxers on, and rolled over so I was facing away from his side of the bed. It bothered me that I was so pissed off and annoyed with him, and it bothered me that I was being so emotional about it. I flagellated myself about that, and then reminded myself that Matt was singularly able to get under my skin, and my shields.

I felt the bed moving as he got in, and he moved over to me, snuggling up behind me. I rolled onto my back, pushing him away. “What?”

“Just stay the fuck away from me,” I snapped.

“What did I do?” he asked.

“Where have you been for the last three hours?”

“I went out and had a couple of beers with the guys,” he said nervously.

“Who?”

“TwoTone, Sharpie, and Hammer,” he said.

“This is just like college,” I said, laying into him. “You’re doing the same fucking thing. You go out with them, then come home shit-faced, and I’m supposed to be your cum dump at the end of the night.”

“Come on, Wade,” he whined. “It’s not like that.”

“It is exactly like that. And Hammer is playing you just like Carl Haupt played you.” That pissed him off, just like I knew it would. Good.

“That’s bullshit,” he snapped.

“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but I’m not going through that shit again,” I said, almost yelling. That was so unusual, it really freaked him out. “And would it have been so tough for you to have called me back and told me what you were doing? Would that have totally ruined your intimate encounter?”

“It wasn’t an intimate encounter,” he said, with fire in his eyes. “It was just four guys hanging out drinking beer after practice.”

“Then why didn’t you call me?” I demanded.

“I should have,” he said. “I fucked up.”

I shook my head at him, so pissed off I couldn’t see straight. This was a really bad time to have an argument. I wasn’t being my normal, rational self, and Matt was drunk. “There are clean sheets in the guest room. Why don’t you go try out that bed.”

“You’re kicking me out?” he asked, stunned.

“Very good,” I said in a snarky way. “At least you’re not so drunk that you can’t understand that.”

“Fine,” he said, and stormed out of the room. It took me two hours before I calmed down enough that I could actually fall asleep.

October 4, 2002

Boston

It annoyed me that even though I had no classes today, and even though I could have slept in, I woke up at my usual time of 7:00. I lay in bed, and was surprised that I was still pissed off about last night. That was unusual, since I normally didn’t let things like that eat away at me, and that told me this was significant. I thought about going downstairs to eat, but I didn’t want to deal with everyone, so I called down and asked the maid to bring me breakfast. I put on a T-shirt, and then lounged around in bed, trying to sleep even though it was hopeless, until she arrived with my food.

“Good morning,” she said in a friendly way. “Breakfast in bed. Let me set this up for you.” I sat up as she fussed around with the tray, getting everything set up.

“Thank you, Josetta,” I said, hitting her with my most charming smile. She grinned, and then left me alone. I focused on devouring my breakfast, and since there was no one with me, I was able to eat without worrying about my table manners. I finished my eggs, and was in the middle of buttering my toast, when Matt came walking in.

“Breakfast in bed,” he said cheerfully. He sat next to me and grabbed a piece of my toast. I pulled it out of his hand in a relatively nasty way.

“Get your own breakfast,” I snapped.

“You won’t even share a piece of toast?” he asked, as if he had a right to be outraged over that.

“I won’t even share a piece of toast with you,” I said. “That’s how pissed off I am at you.”

“Wade…” he began, and he was whining.

“Why don’t you go get your own fucking breakfast, and leave me alone so I can enjoy mine,” I said acidly. I focused my attention on the food in front of me, even as I watched him get up and walk out, using only my peripheral vision. When he was gone, I finished up my breakfast, put the tray outside my door, and then went into the bathroom. I locked the door, and enjoyed a long shower, then went through my morning routine. At some point, there was a knock on my door, which I ignored. I watched the weather report, which said it would be overcast. It was 55 degrees out now, and was expected to climb up to 70 during the day. I used that data to make a wardrobe choice, and then walked outside my room. Since Josetta hadn’t had a chance to pick up my tray yet, I carried it down to the kitchen.

“Good morning,” I said to the assembled group: Matt, Tiffany, Alex, and JJ.

“Good morning,” they all chimed back, with various degrees of cheerfulness.

“You were just incredible last night,” I said to JJ.

“You certainly were,” Alex said, only we had picked up on his double entendre, and that made JJ blush.

“Thanks,” he said nervously, then got annoyed that he was nervous.

“What’s on your agenda for the day?” I asked Tiffany.

“JJ and I are going to watch the other skaters,” she said. “He’s on the ice again tomorrow, for his long program.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great,” I said to him. Even though I’d just eaten, I opted to have a little more food.

“I hope you’re right,” he said. He got really bitchy and nervous during competitions, but he’d been better this time. That was probably due to Alex.

“I’ve got class,” Alex said, looking at his watch.

“You have a lunch break today, don’t you?” I asked.

“I do,” he said.

“Would you like some company?”

“I would love some company,” he said, smiling at me. “Where do you want to meet?”

“Call me when you’re done with class and I’ll have it figured out by then,” I said. Both Matt and JJ were giving me unpleasant looks. Matt was probably worried that I was going to turn into Brad and fuck Alex just to get back at him. That’s exactly what Brad would have done if he was in a big fight with Robbie, and Robbie had been out fucking around with someone else. I caught myself, flagellating myself for being unfair, since to the best of my knowledge, Matt hadn’t fucked anyone, but I was still too mad at him to worry about justice. JJ was probably worried about the same thing; worried that I’d seduce Alex. Their attitudes were incredibly irksome, since I wasn’t like Brad, and I wouldn’t do that.

“Excellent,” Alex said. He got up and gave JJ a brief kiss, then hurried out of the house toward campus.

“If you guys get bored tonight, we have a hockey game,” Matt said to JJ and Tiffany.

“Or we can go out to dinner,” I suggested. “Maybe we can get Alex to tag along.”

“That sounds like fun,” JJ said, but we all knew that he’d only gotten enthusiastic about it when I mentioned Alex.

“I’ll talk to him about it at lunch,” I said.

“You have a game tonight,” Matt said.

“No, you have a game tonight,” I replied. My tone was icy enough that JJ and Tiffany picked up on it. I stood up and took my plate over to the sink, grabbed my backpack, and headed to the door. When I got to it, I stopped and looked back at Matt. “Can you give the coach a message for me?”

“Sure,” Matt said.

“Tell him I’m no longer on the team,” I said. His mouth dropped open in shock, but I didn’t stick around to hear the fireworks. I strode confidently and quickly out of the house, and headed straight to Langdell Library, making lunch reservations while I walked. I’d set my phone to vibrate, and it buzzed a whole bunch of times, but it was just Matt calling, so I ignored him. Let him wonder what I was doing. Let him figure out how fun it is to be left completely in the dark about my whereabouts. It was a little bit after noon when my phone vibrated again and I saw it was Alex. I packed up my books and then went to an area where I could talk and called him back.

“And where are you taking me for lunch?” he asked after we greeted each other.

“Meet me in the Plaza, near the Science Center,” I said. “We’ll go from there.”

“On my way,” he said. I strolled out of Langdell for the brief walk to the Plaza. It was crowded, but I didn’t have any problems spotting Alex. I led him to the street and hailed a cab.

“James Hook,” I said to the cabbie. Alex raised an eyebrow to question me as to what this place was. “You like seafood?”

“I do,” he said with a smile.

“They have excellent clam chowder, and their specialty is lobster,” I explained. I’d eaten at Hook when I’d stayed here by myself.

“That sounds good,” he said. We talked about our schoolwork until we got to Hook. Fortunately, I’d had them reserve a table, so we had almost no wait at all, even though it was Friday. We ordered drinks, scanned the menu, ordered our food, and then the waitress finally left us alone. “You do not seem like your usual, happy self.”

“How would you be able to tell?” I joked, making fun of my stoicism.

“Normally it would be difficult, but when you are arguing with Matt, it becomes more obvious.” That bothered me more than he would know, but since I was with him, I was able to hide that reaction.

“He went out drinking after the hockey practice last night,” I said, opening up to him for some stupid reason.

“That is something that isn’t allowed?” he asked. The implication was that I was being a bit too high maintenance.

“It’s not a question of whether it’s allowed or not, but it is an issue because of what happened at Stanford,” I said. He said nothing, waiting for me to go on. “He completely blew me off to be a college jock, and to go party with the team and everyone else. It’s a sore subject, and he knows that.”

“Maybe he has decided that since he is no longer in college that type of concern is irrelevant,” he said. His logic and insight were very correct and annoying as a result.

“That may be, but don’t you think that since it has been such a touchy issue, some common courtesy should be paramount in his mind. And if it isn’t, then maybe he hasn’t changed, and it’s the same old thing.”

“I am unclear as to what you mean by common courtesy.”

I sighed. “He was done with practice at 9:00. He didn’t show up at home until midnight. That’s not a big deal, but I would have expected him to at least call me and tell me what he was doing. Especially after I called to see why he was late and left a message.”

He thought about that. “I think that’s a reasonable request even if you didn’t have this history.” The waitress brought out our clam chowder, so we took a break and focused on eating. While I did, I found that I was feeling better about things, and I felt some of my anger fade, probably because Alex had partially validated my point of view.

“How are things with JJ?” I asked when we were finished with our soup. I was genuinely curious, but I also wanted to change the subject.

“Very good,” he said with a smile. “I gathered you weren’t too keen on us being involved with each other.”

“I was nervous about it, primarily because JJ has never been in a real relationship, as far as I know. He’s a bit of a novice for a man of the world like you.” He took that in the positive way that I meant it, and chuckled.

“I think we are good for each other,” he said. “Our interests merge on many levels, and that gives us a lot in common, and a lot to do together.”

“I have never seen JJ so happy,” I said. “He is actually pleasant to be around.” I thought it was cute that Alex seemed annoyed when I had gently slammed JJ.

“I’m glad you noticed that,” he said. “I’m not sure how the rest of his family will react to us being together, especially since there’s a considerable gap in our ages.”

“You are very lucky, in that Will went in and laid the groundwork for you,” I joked. “He fought very hard to gain his independence from his father, so he was able to persuade Brad not to make the same mistakes with JJ.”

“Then I shall have to be sure to thank him,” he said.

“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way,” I began, and his eyes narrowed as I did. “The reason we were a bit nervous about this was because JJ is so inexperienced.”

“And you were unwilling to entrust him to a cad like me?” he asked unpleasantly. “Let me spin this out, then. You took all of the problems you and I had, and you and Matt and I had, and you projected them onto JJ and me. And then you were worried that the same things that happened to you would happen to him.”

He was really mad, and while that was upsetting, I decided that it may end up being a good thing. It may help us move beyond this whole thing. “Alex,” I said, and reached over to take his hand. He flinched at first, but then relented and let me hold it. “I really enjoyed our time together. There were things that I would have improved on, but I don’t regret it.”

He smiled softly at me and squeezed my hand back. “I feel the same way.”

“I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, or feel guilty, I was just trying to tell you why you ran into some unpleasant attitudes, and to give you fair warning about JJ.”

“And now that I understand your motives, I appreciate your observations,” he said. “Let us hope that I learned from the mistakes I made with you.”

“And let us hope that I learned from the mistakes I made with you,” I countered. We enjoyed our main course, I paid the bill, and we grabbed a cab to take us home. And for the first time since Alex and I stopped seeing each other, I felt like we had cleared the air, and that we were at a good place.

I walked into the house and expected to find a welcoming committee: Matt waiting to whine to me some more about our fight. Instead, it was as if the entire house was empty. “I will see you for dinner,” Alex said, and vanished into the elevator. I just shrugged and walked up the stairs, bracing myself for my nasty encounter with Matt. Our bedroom door was closed, and that just made my anxiety worse, since we usually left it open during the day unless one of us was in there. He must be in there.

I opened the door and the first thing that assaulted my senses was the smell. The entire room smelled of flowers, and when I looked around, there were indeed flowers there, lots of them. I smiled as I counted the bouquets. There were four bouquets with two dozen red roses in each vase. I got the significance of that. We’d met and started dating in 1998. Now it was 2002, four years later, hence the four bouquets. On the center of the bed was a large envelope with my name on it, written in Matt’s penmanship. I opened it up and read it.

Dear Wade,

I’m sorry I didn’t call you last night when I was out late. That was a really rude and stupid thing to do. At the time, it didn’t seem like a big deal, but it was, especially after all the problems we had last year. I should have been more sensitive about that, but instead I was just being a drunken idiot. I guess you were right: I guess I regressed back to college.

I know that you’re mad, but even more than that, I know you’re hurt. It’s agonizing to me to think that I caused you pain, and that I caused you to remember all the crap that we went through. While I know that an apology is important to you, I know that it’s more important that we have a plan of action, so here’s what I propose. For your part, you show me that you forgive me for being a total dipshit last night. For my part, I promise that if I ever go to a hockey game or practice and vanish without telling you where I’m going or when I’ll be home, I will quit the team.

Now, more than ever, you are my world. You are everything to me, and I love you entirely.

Matt.

I smiled at the card, and at the flowers around me, because he’d said all the right things. Even more important, he understood why I was so upset, and he made a pledge to me so there would be a ready-made solution if it happened again. The only thing he hadn’t talked about was Hammer, but we could have a discussion about him later.

There was a soft knock on the door, then it opened, and I saw Matt’s head poke in. “Is it safe to come in?”

“Very safe,” I said with a smile, a gesture he returned; only his grin was magnified by not having me bust his balls.

He walked over and sat next to me on the bed. “I see you got my card,” he said, gesturing at it, since it was open and in my hands.

“Evidently,” I said.

“I really am sorry,” he said.

I pointed to the card. “You said that, and you said that if you fuck up again, you’ll quit the team.”

“Yeah, but that’s only if you forgive me,” he said, catching my playful mood.

“And I clearly haven’t done that yet.”

“Clearly,” he chirped, since he knew I would do just that.

“I forgive you,” I said, more of a vow.

“That’s a start,” he said, pretending like it was no big deal.

“It says right here that if I forgive you, and you fuck up again, you quit the team. I forgive you. Therefore, I have performed my part of the contract, and it is up to you to perform yours.”

“Dude, I am not sure that law school has been good for you,” he said, giving me shit for quoting contract law. “It says right here that you have to do more than just forgive me.”

I reread his card and pretended to be annoyed, when I wasn’t. “I have to show you? What the fuck?”

“You have to show me,” he said. He leaned in and kissed me, a gentle kiss that became passionate really quickly. In no time at all, we’d shed our clothes, and then he made love to me, and it was so good, when it was over, I was almost giddy. We lay on our backs, panting from our exertions. I waited until we had our breathing under control before I raised the other issue.

“You didn’t talk about Hammer,” I said. “That’s a problem.”

“He’s not a problem,” Matt claimed.

“He’s after you,” I said. “He’s not that smart, and I’m not that dumb. It’s obvious that he wants you.”

“I know that,” he said. “He tried to get me to fuck him a couple times.”

“And you still went out with him?”

He shrugged. “He asked me to go get a beer, and I said I couldn’t go until TwoTone and Sharpie agreed to come along.”

“So that was his big plan,” I concluded. “To get you drunk, and then take advantage of you.”

“Probably,” he said. “Sharpie thinks that when he saw me write that check, that really fired him up.”

“So what the fuck are you doing with him?” I didn’t get that. If this dude was hitting on him, he should avoid him.

“I just had a bunch of beers with him and two other guys. The reason I didn’t worry about it is because there’s no way I’d sleep with him. I promised you I’d be faithful, and I will. And even if I was going to cheat on you, it sure as fuck wouldn’t be with a muscle-headed tool like Hammer.”

I stared at him, blinking as I processed what he said. With Carl Haupt, he’d been adamant that the dude wasn’t after him, that it was just a fun hookup. He’d ignored all of my warnings, and all of my objections. Just remembering that pissed me off all over again. But Matt was acting totally different with this dude. What he was telling me was that Hammer wanted him, but it didn’t make a damn bit of difference, because he didn’t want Hammer. “You know,” I said thoughtfully, “I think this is one of the biggest advantages of monogamy.”

“What is?” he asked me, confused.

“With Carl, you were playing him to fuck him, and he was teasing you along to get you to do just that,” I said.

“You’re never going to forgive me for that, are you?” he snapped, but that didn’t bother me. That was just him, feeling guilty.

“I’m not trying to bust your balls over that, I’m just raising it as a comparison.”

“I’m not following you.”

“Sleeping with Hammer isn’t even an option, because that’s the commitment we made to each other. With Carl, it was an option, and that let him create all kinds of problems for us.”

He thought about that and nodded. “So you’re saying that you trust me?”

“I’m saying that I trust you,” I confirmed. “Even when we had our worst fights last year, I still trusted you. Last night wasn’t about that, it was about you not treating me with respect, and about you totally blowing me off.”

“I finally figured that out, even if it took me a while,” he grumbled, making me chuckle.

“So why do you go out with him if you know he’s trying to fuck you?”

“Because I’m not going to fuck him,” he said.

“What if I went out with a guy who wanted to fuck me? How would you feel about that?”

“Everyone wants to fuck you,” he joked. “I’m used to it.”

“Right,” I said, but in a tone that told him to answer my question.

“Didn’t you do that when you went to lunch with Alex?” I was about to lash out at him, but that wasn’t reasonable, since I acknowledged in my own mind that I’d done it to make him a little jealous.

“No,” I said. “Alex doesn’t want to fuck me. Shit, he didn’t want to fuck me when we were a couple.” That made both of us chuckle.

“I think that if there was a guy who wanted to be with you, like one of your law school buddies, and you went out drinking with him, and you didn’t call me even after I called you first, I’d be fucking pissed at you,” he said.

I leaned in and gave him a kiss. “You would be.” He was way more jealous than I was.

“I’m sorry I didn’t think about calling you,” he said. “It really didn’t bother me, because I knew there was no way I’d sleep with him. But now that I step into your shoes, I get where you were coming from.”

“Good,” I said. “Did you talk to the coach about me yet?”

“No,” he said.

“Then I think I’ll stay on the team, so I can keep an eye on this guy who’s trying to steal my partner away from me,” I said.

I could see how happy that made him. He loved it when we played hockey together. To him, that was like a special bond between us. He was going to make some long-winded speech about how much he appreciated me doing that, but in the end, he decided to just say ‘thanks’, and then he made love to me again. That was a much better approach.

I changed our plans around so we’d have a late dinner after our game, and I invited everyone to attend. I was kind of surprised when they did, especially since, for JJ, he was in the middle of a competition.

We had just gotten our hockey gear on in the incredibly smelly locker room, and we were just about to walk out onto the ice when Hammer walked up to Matt. “I had fun last night,” he said with a leer.

“Dude, it was nice, slamming beers with you, Sharpie, and TwoTone,” Matt said.

“That’s not what I was talking about,” he said, lowering his voice to sound sexy.

“What were you talking about?” Matt demanded.

“Never mind,” Hammer said, acting like they’d fucked like bunnies but he just didn’t want to talk about it in front of me. Matt was seething.

“You have an internet connection at home?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he said, since pretty much everyone did.

“Do you know how to use Google?”

“No, I usually use AltaVista,” he said in a snarky way. It figures that he’d use that antiquated search engine.

“Whatever. When when you get home, type my name in and do a search. After you do that, ask yourself if you really want to fuck around and piss me off,” I said. My words were intense and firm.

“Like I’m afraid of you,” he said.

“You hit on my partner again, and you should be afraid of me,” I said. Then we skated out onto the ice.