-- Chapter 6 --

The room still smelled faintly of cedar and old books.

Levi had stood awkwardly in the doorway while his grandmother had fussed with the curtains the previous day, pulling them open to let in the late afternoon light. Dust floated through the narrow beam of sunshine, catching in the air like tiny drifting stars.

‘There,’ she had said softly. ‘That’s a little better.’

Levi nodded without enthusiasm, but said, ‘Thank you.’

The room was small compared to the house he had grown up in with Julie, but not unpleasant. A single bed sat against one wall beneath a faded surfing poster that had clearly been there for decades. There was an old wooden desk under the window, a narrow wardrobe, and shelves lined with forgotten trophies and yellowing paperbacks.

Matt’s childhood. Levi could see him here without even trying. The same dark hair. The same deep-brown eyes looking out from the round mirror hanging on the wall. Even the same stubborn expression in some of the old framed photographs sitting on the shelves.

Except that Matt looked rougher somehow. Less polished. More rebellious, perhaps?

Levi looked like the version that had gone the other direction entirely. Quiet. Reserved. A little awkward in his own skin. Too much time around adults and too little time spent on sports fields. Time around church halls and strict grandparents and whispered expectations.

His grandmother smiled carefully.

‘We thought you might like some privacy out here. It’s a bit quieter than the main house. And we’ll find a couple of boxes and pack up what is left of Matt’s old stuff, to give you a bit of room for your own.’

Levi shrugged. ‘Okay.’

That was mostly the limit of what he said these days. Okay. Fine. Whatever. Words without commitment.

Behind them, Matt’s father appeared carrying another box.

‘Where d’you want this one, mate?’

Levi glanced at the label.

BOOKS.

‘Anywhere, thanks.’

Matt Snr. set it gently beside the desk.

‘Well,’ he said, dusting off his hands. ‘This room survived Matthew’s teenage years, so I reckon it’ll survive just about anything.’

His wife shot him a look. ‘Matt!’

‘What? I’m trying to lighten the mood.’

Levi gave the faintest twitch of a smile. That was enough to make both grandparents quietly relieved.

*   *   *

The first few days passed strangely. Not bad. Just . . . different. The Parsons’ house ran differently to the life Levi had known with his mother.

Breakfast happened at the kitchen table every morning. Matt Snr. read the newspaper while his wife made tea. The television came on for the evening news at six sharp. People talked about ordinary things. Neighbours. Weather. Groceries.

Meanwhile Levi drifted through the place like he was someone visiting from another planet.

Matt stayed for several days after the funeral, sorting through paperwork and meeting with solicitors, helping Levi with some more packing at his mother’s house, but eventually he had to return to Thompsonville to take care of work and to help Luke prepare for Levi’s eventual move down to Thompsonville – whenever that might happen.

That conversation alone had nearly exploded twice already.

‘I’m not moving to Thompsonville,’ Levi muttered one evening. ‘My home is here.’

Matt leaned back in his chair. ‘We’re just talking about options, mate.’

‘That’s not my home.’

‘You don’t really have a home right now, Levi.’

The second the words came out, Matt regretted them. Levi’s face hardened instantly.

‘Right.’

Matt rubbed at his forehead. ‘That’s not what I meant.’

‘Yes it is.’

Levi pushed away from the table and disappeared down the hallway before anyone could stop him. This time the bedroom door did slam shut.

Margaret sighed softly. ‘You need to slow down with him.’

Matt looked exhausted. ‘I’m trying.’

‘I know you are.’

But trying didn’t magically make someone a father. Especially not overnight.

*   *   *

The solicitors met with Matt, and the estate became a nightmare almost immediately.

Julie had left everything to Levi, exactly as she had told Matt she would, but there was very little actual money.

The house still carried a mortgage. There were overdue bills. Credit cards. And medical debts from the final months of Julie’s illness were mounting up, as not everything was covered by Medicare.

Matt sat at the dining table the evening before he was due to travel back home, surrounded by paperwork, while his father watched him over the rim of his glasses.

‘She hid a lot of this, didn’t she?’

Matt nodded tiredly. ‘She didn’t want him worrying.’

‘But she was drowning in it.’

‘Yeah. She knew the house would have to be sold . . . she even arranged for the Real Estate agents to list it . . . there wasn’t really another option. I have a meeting with them first thing in the morning, before I head home.’

And when Matt finally explained it all to Levi, the boy stared at him in disbelief.

‘You’re selling it?’

Matt kept his voice calm.

‘Your mother arranged the sale, Levi. The bank will take it all otherwise.’

‘But it’s . . . it’s Mum’s house. And it was my grand-dad’s house.’

‘I know.’

‘You can’t just sell it.’

‘I’m not trying to take it away from you.’

‘That’s exactly what you’re doing.’ Levi stood abruptly, chair scraping across the floor. ‘You don’t get to come back after all these years and just start deciding everything.’

He was standing and staring Matt down, and Levi’s words hit harder than Matt expected. Then before he could answer, Levi stormed off, with a door slamming just a moment later.

‘He’s grieving, son. For a world he knew that is slipping away from him far too quickly,’ Matt’s father said quietly.

Matt stared down at the paperwork. ‘So am I, Dad.’

‘You may not know it yet, and he may not know it yet, but he heard what you said. He just needs a little time to figure out that what you said was the truth, then you’ll be able to explain it to him . . . and then he’ll understand.’

Matt just looked at his father. ‘Was I ever that stubborn?’ he asked.

‘All the fucking time, son! All the time!’

The corners of Matt’s mouth turned up at the corners.

‘Just talk to him in the morning, Matt, before you leave for home.’

‘I will.’

*   *   *

Matt knocked on the door to his old bedroom early the next morning, and when there was no answer, he opened it anyway.

Levi was laying on top of the bed, arms behind his head and staring at the ceiling, still in the clothes he had been wearing the night before, which were now seriously crumpled. When Matt entered the room, he rolled over onto his side, facing the wall. The message was clear.

Quickly glancing around the room, Matt noted the open box with some of his trophies sticking out the top of it, then glanced at the shelf where they once had been. For just a moment he thought that it may have worried him; like he was losing a link to his past or something, but then suddenly he realised what that thought actually meant. Levi had already lost far more than Matt ever had, and the boy was about to lose even more.

Without saying a word, Matt pulled out the chair from beneath his old desk, then sat down, quite prepared to wait it out . . . to wait until Levi was prepared to acknowledge his presence. On the floor beside him was another open box, with some unfamiliar paperback novels visible. Obviously Levi’s.

He leaned down and picked up the one from the top of the pile.

It was titled Temptation, by an author with the name Andrew Caine.

Flipping it over he scanned the blurb. It was about a teenage boy facing temptations all around him; booze, drugs, sex, rock and roll, while also dealing with family responsibilities.

It was mostly all the good stuff, Matt thought. But for a religious teen, like Levi, he would most likely be thinking the exact opposite.

‘That’s mine,’ he heard Levi huff.

‘Yeah, mate. It’s all good. It looks like you like reading. That’s a good thing,’ Matt responded.

Levi sat up, then swung his legs over the bed, allowing his sock covered feet to hit the floor.

‘Yeah. I do like reading.’

‘Any particular types of stories?’ Matt asked.

Levi simply shrugged and said, ‘All different ones, I guess. Not so keen on the ones we have to read for school, but a lot of teen stories I guess.’

‘I suppose that’s what they call Young Adult, these days?’

‘Yeah.’

Matt wondered about what he needed to say, and where he needed to start, and when he glanced at his son, he noticed Levi staring at him, waiting for him to say something.

‘I’m sorry I sprung all that on you last night, mate. I really didn’t mean for it to come out sounding like that . . . I was just . . .’ Matt began. ‘I was just trying to explain it all and what everything means.’

He looked up and saw his own eyes staring back at him, which still unnerved him.

‘I know,’ Levi said quietly. ‘And I’m sorry too . . .’

‘You don’t have to be sorry. Fifteen-year-olds aren’t really expected to understand it all, you know.’

‘No.’

‘Your mum asked me to take care of you, and to take care of all the details after she . . . left us. I’m just trying to make sure that everything is wrapped up, so that it all doesn’t just get taken away from you, and so you will actually have something at the end of it. Can you understand that?’

‘Yeah, I guess.’

‘There are a lot of bills to pay, including what is still owing on the house, plus her credit cards and medical bills. The only way to do that is for the house to be sold. Your mum knew that, and that’s why she asked the real estate agents to list it.’

He could see Levi nodding at that, so at least it looked as if the boy understood.

‘When everything does settle . . . I mean, when the house has been sold and all the bills have been paid, there’ll be money left over for you. For when you turn eighteen. It’s hard to say just how much there will be, but there should be enough for you to buy a car, or pay for part of a university education, or to do something worthwhile with it.’

‘Right then.’

‘In the meantime, it’s my job to look after you . . .’

‘But you don’t live here . . .’

‘No.’

‘So, ummm . . . what? Does that mean that I have to go with you?’

‘I would really love for you to come and live with me and Luke, mate. But there’s a lot of stuff we would need to sort through before that might happen . . .’

‘Like what? The fact that you are both gay?’

‘Yeah, I guess.’

‘Are you married?’

‘No, mate.’

‘So, you are both sinners?’

‘Only in the eyes of some.’

‘Hmmm . . .’

‘This probably isn’t the time to discuss religion, Levi, but there are a couple of things I want you to know. Firstly, that I respect your feelings and your beliefs, and I’m not going to try to persuade you to change them, okay?’

‘Okay. And what’s the second?’

‘Simply that you respect me, and Luke, and your grandparents, and you don’t try to persuade us to change.’

At that a slight smile came to Levi’s lips. ‘Seems fair,’ he answered.

‘I need to travel home today, after I go see the real estate agents about the house. If you would like to come with me, you’re welcome to, but if you want to stay here with my parents, you can do that too. I don’t want to force you to do anything at the moment, but I really would like you to consider coming back with me at some point soon, to see where I live . . . and where you might eventually live.’

‘But I don’t have to go with you now, if I don’t want to?’

‘No, mate. You don’t have to.’

‘I think . . . I think I’d like to stay here . . . I can keep packing up some more of our stuff, can’t I?’

‘Yeah, mate. I’ll see to it that you can do that. And I’ll organise with the real estate guys to hire a storage unit, so we can pack everything away that you want to keep, or aren’t sure of what to do with it. Is that okay with you?’

‘I guess. Thanks.’

*   *   *

Matt’s meeting with the real estate agents went well, once the details of Matt’s involvement was confirmed by the solicitors acting on Julie and Levi’s behalf. They offered their condolences, and then took Matt through the agency agreement and the details of the house and what they expected it would bring.

He figured he would talk to his parents about it all before broaching the subject with Levi. Knowing what he now knew, about the state of Julie’s affairs, by the time the estate would be settled there would still be a sizeable amount that could be placed in a trust fund for Levi, for when he came of age. It would certainly be enough to help the lad get a good start in life, so for that, he was quite grateful.

While there, he arranged for the rental of a storage unit, where anything from Julie’s house could be stored. There was quite a good deal of furniture and personal belongings that he would need to talk to Levi about. He doubted that the boy would be in a frame of mind where he would want to sell anything, so for now at least, storage would be the best option.

On his way back to his parent’s house Matt called his father, to see what was happening, and soon found out that he and Levi were currently at Julie’s house. They were going through belongings and trying to decide on what needed to be saved, and what could be disposed of. According to Matt’s father, the boy was struggling, so Matt decided to make a detour and see what has happening.

When he arrived at Julie's house, which he had visited many times when he was a teen, he found his father's car parked in the driveway, and his father carrying a box out the front door. They met at the car, and after his father placed the box on the back seat he turned towards Matt.

'How's he doing?' Matt asked.

'Like I said on the phone, he's struggling a bit. It's not easy packing up a life, or in this case, two lives, and move on. Sooner or later something is going to give.'

'Has it reached that point yet?'

'Not quite, but it's bubbling away, just close to the surface. He said that the two of you talked last night and he had a bit of a cry. He's embarrassed by that . . . he had always been taught to suck it up and act like a man. Maybe some time with you and Luke could show him another side of what being a guy is like?'

'Maybe. I did ask him if he wanted to come back with me, but he declined. He wanted to stay here, to stay close, I guess?’

‘Most likely,’ his father replied.

‘I also think there's something else that I will need to work on though, before we’ll really be able to connect.’

‘And what’s that?’

‘Undoing years of conditioned homophobia, thanks to the teachings of his religion. He hasn’t said a great deal yet, but he does already have the opinion that Luke and I are sinners.’

Before anything more could be said, they heard the sound of footsteps, and they turned to see Levi coming down the front steps, carrying another box.

‘Hey, mate,’ Matt said to him.

‘Hey.’

‘How are you doing?’

Levi loaded the box into the car, then turned to face Matt.

‘I . . . I’m not sure. There’s just so much stuff and . . . I don’t know what to do . . .’

‘Well, how about we go take a look and come up with a plan, eh?’ Matt replied, while placing an arm around Levi’s shoulders and steering him back towards the house.

As they walked up the path, Levi said, ‘There’s something I need to ask you . . .’

‘And what’s that, mate? You can ask me anything you want, anytime.’

‘It’s just I . . . I don’t know what to call you.’

Matt glanced at his father, whose face carried an amused expression.

‘Levi, you can call me whatever you feel comfortable calling me, mate. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. We’re all here for you.’

The boy didn’t reply. He just gave a nod.

That was enough, Matt figured.

To be continued . . .