-- Chapter 25 --

The days that followed were some of the hardest Levi had faced since arriving in Thompsonville.

At school, the rumours ran hot. Whispers followed him in the corridors and around the playgrounds. Smirks. The occasional outright laugh. Word had spread that Levi had been at the party the night the Commodore was stolen and wrecked. Everybody automatically assumed that it had been him who had taken his father’s car and subsequently wrecked it.

It was the other rumours that were swirling about that hurt more though . . . the drinking, the dancing with girls and groping them . . . even though none of that was true. It just proved that it only takes a whisper to create a storm.

Brooke wouldn’t even look at him anymore. She kept her distance, hurt and disappointed, would turn away when they were close by, and eventually stopped responding altogether to his hesitant messages.

Jimmy and Dan stuck by him longer than most, sitting with him at lunch for a few days, but even they grew quieter. The friendship was being stretched thin, and it wasn’t long before they finally left him sitting all alone at their usual lunch table.

‘Sorry, mate,’ Jimmy had said awkwardly. ‘We just . . . need some space.’

Levi nodded numbly, his heart heavy. He understood. He didn’t blame them. Chances are that he would probably do the same thing if a friend of his had behaved in the same manner. After all, wasn’t everything he had done the exact opposite of what he had always been taught?

And that was when Casey and his friends stepped in.

They found him sitting by himself near the back fence during lunch. Casey dropped down beside him with that easy, dangerous grin.

‘Looks like you could use some real mates,’ he said. ‘You could always come hang with us.’

Levi could only give a reply of, ‘Hmmpphh.’

But still, with everyone else pulling away, Casey’s group felt like the only door that was still open, so he let them drag him along, even if knew he shouldn’t. Even if he didn’t know what was through that door.

***

At home, life didn’t seem any better. He worried that his dad and Luke may have heard the whispers, or even Tim and Guy, or any of their other friends. He had a feeling that it would all get back to them eventually, one way or another, and that was bound to be when the shit would really hit the fan.

The words of Father Costas, “true peace comes from facing what we’ve done, not hiding from it . . .” kept coming back to him, but how in God’s name could he own up to that now. It would kill his father. Or his father would kill him. He felt sure of it.

And so, life went on – as miserable as that was.

Casey seemed to be the only one who understood. He didn’t ask anything of Levi. He didn’t judge. He was just . . . there . . . and that was what Levi needed right now, even if there was still an undercurrent of danger around Casey and his friends.

The first party was at a rundown house on the Southside that Friday night. Music thumped from inside. The air smelled of cigarette smoke and spilled beer. Levi nursed a can of beer for a long time before finally taking a few cautious sips. It tasted bitter, but the warmth that followed made the knot inside his chest loosen just a little.

Casey’s pack was a loose group of five or six boys, including Dylan and Jarrad, who had been in the car on that night. They were mostly older, all connected in some way to the Thompson family name. There were others there also, friends of friends, and they were loud, confident, and seemed to answer to no one. With them, Levi felt a rush he’d never experienced before – the thrill of belonging without having to explain himself.

Casey stayed close the whole time. Too close. His hand would sometimes brush Levi’s arm, his shoulder would press against him when they sat on the old couch. The attention felt good in a way that both scared and excited Levi. When the party grew louder and rowdier, Casey leaned in, voice low.

‘You’re different, you know that?’

‘In what way?’ Levi replied.

‘In a good way,’ Casey replied, while at the same time letting a hand rest on Levi’s thigh for just a moment or two.

Levi’s heart hammered and his throat tightened. He backed off before anything more could happen, mumbling that he had to get home. Casey didn’t push.

‘Come to the quarry tomorrow night,’ he said instead. ‘It’ll be better. Just us.’

Levi hesitated. ‘I’ll see.’

Casey nodded, as if he really didn’t care one way or the other, but knew that Levi would be there all the same.

When he got home that night it was getting late, and the house was mostly in darkness. Levi’s first surprise was finding a shiny, black truck in the driveway. It was a big, four-wheel-drive Nissan Navara ute, with chrome wheels and bull bar. It looked like Matt had finally replaced the old Commodore. He looked it over briefly, allowing his hand to run the full length of the tub, before heading towards the back of the house, where he could see the kitchen lights were still on. His second surprise was finding Matt still up, and waiting in the kitchen, sitting at the table with his head in his hands.

Levi stood in the garden for a few minutes watching him through the window, before eventually climbing the steps and crossing the deck to the back door. As soon as he heard the footsteps, Matt looked up and watched as Levi approached. He said nothing, until his son closed the back door and turned to face him.

‘Hey, mate. Where have you been?’ Matt asked. ‘Have a good night?’

‘It was okay, I guess.’

‘I know that you’re not spending time with Brooke, or with Jimmy and Dan anymore. So who are you hanging around with? Do I need to be concerned?’

Having heard a rumour at work today, his voice was tight with worry and frustration, even if he was trying his best to keep it level. He needed to talk to Levi about what was going on with him, but he didn’t know just how hard to push.

For Levi, he felt the walls closing in.

‘Just some mates from school. It’s fine,’ he replied.

‘It’s not fine if you’re hanging around with the wrong people, or lying to me, Levi. I’m worried about you, mate.’

‘I said I’m fine.’

‘Is there anything you want to tell me?’

‘What do you mean by that?’ Levi snapped.

Levi felt weird replying like that. This wasn’t him. When did he ever talk to anyone like this?

The tension escalated quickly. It wasn’t quite an argument, but it certainly wasn’t a civil family discussion. Eventually Levi stormed off to his room, slamming the door, leaving Matt standing in the hallway – angry, disappointed, and deeply confused. He wanted to push, but he was terrified of pushing his son even further away and into a world he knew nothing about.

When Luke opened their bedroom door, to see what the commotion in the hallway was, Matt simply shook his head.

***

There wasn’t much sleep happening in the house that night. Levi lay awake, staring at shadows dancing on the ceiling, while listening to the wind in the trees and the waves crashing upon the nearby beach. His head was buzzing with thoughts of everything that had happened recently, and everything that was yet to happen . . . everything that might happen, or what he might want to happen.

And that scared him.

In the bedroom next door, Matt was in a similar state of restlessness. He remembered, all too well, being sixteen and wanting to defy his parents’ orders, wanting to forge his own friendships, wanting to test the boundaries of the only authority he knew. He wanted Levi to be able to do that, to learn from his own mistakes, yet after hearing the rumours about his son, he couldn’t help but wonder if giving the boy a free rein was the right thing to do. He needed answers, but wasn’t sure how to get them.

When he heard the kitchen door open and close sometime before dawn, Matt felt like he needed to follow his boy. He even sat up in bed, ready to do so, and, but for the steadying hand and soothing voice of Luke, he was ready to do just that.

‘Just let him go,’ Luke suggested. ‘He needs to figure things out for himself. We just need to be there for him when he needs us.’

‘And you don’t think that he needs us to tell him now where he’s going wrong?’

‘Not yet.’

‘You’ve heard the rumours, just as I have. It doesn’t take a brainiac to figure it all out.’

‘So, you think he borrowed the car, taking advantage of the fact that we weren’t here, went to that party, and what, got pissed and wrecked it on the way home?’

‘Something like that . . . maybe . . . oh, fuck, I don’t know.’

‘No, we don’t know, but we will . . . just as soon as he’s ready.’

‘I wish I had your faith.’

‘Actually, it’s Levi’s faith that I’m counting on. He’s stronger than most of us think he is. Stronger than even he thinks he is, I reckon. He might be confused about us and our friends; he might even be confused about his feelings for his own friends . . . I mean, Jimmy and Dan are obviously a couple. Does he have feelings for this Casey guy? Is that why he’s gravitating towards him and his friends? Throw his upbringing into the mix, and it’s little wonder he might still be confused . . .’

‘And what about Brooke? Obviously, he has, or at least had, feelings for her.’

‘All I can say is that I’m glad I’m not sixteen anymore.’

‘Yeah, me too.’

Down on the beach, Levi cut a lonely figure just sitting on the sand in the cold, predawn morning light, his knees drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. From what had been said last night, he was convinced that his father already knew the truth, but he still hadn’t come out and asked him directly if he had taken the car. Why was that?

And if he was so against Casey, why hadn’t he banned him outright from seeing him?

Then, once his thoughts turned to Casey, he remembered there was another party tonight, and he wondered if it would be any different to the other ones he had attended? Should he go, or should he turn his back on these guys altogether?

Levi knew what he should do. But he also knew what he would do.

***

When he made it back to the house a few hours later, the new Nissan was gone. Levi figured that his father had gone to work, but Luke’s car was still there. At least he wouldn’t get the third degree from him, he figured, so he climbed the steps and entered the kitchen.

The place was empty, but once he opened and closed a cupboard to get a coffee mug, then filled the kettle and switched it on, the sounds attracted attention and Luke appeared at the doorway.

‘Hey, kiddo,’ Luke cheerfully greeted him.

Levi turned and looked at him. ‘We’re back to that again, are we?’

The words had slipped out before he could stop them, and he saw the surprise in Luke’s eyes immediately.

‘Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound that way,’ he quickly added.

‘It’s okay, mate. I understand,’ Luke replied, as he crossed the floor and put an arm around Levi’s bare shoulders. ‘We’ve all been there.’

Levi looked at him, while feeling the emotion begin to well up inside.

‘I . . . I just don’t know what’s happening any more,’ Levi said, almost in a whisper.

‘It’s called being sixteen,’ Luke answered. ‘We’re all worried about you, Levi. If you want to talk . . .’

The boy looked again at Luke, then back at the kettle, which had just switched itself off, but he made no move.

Luke gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

‘We’ve heard a few whispers, mate. But we’re not going to listen to those. We would rather hear it from you . . . when you’re ready. Your dad is really worried about some of the choices you’ve made, but just remember that we’re all here to support you, not criticise or punish you for anything you might not have even done.’

As he said this, he pulled Levi a little closer, and almost instinctively the boy turned and embraced Luke, just as he had done with his father. He knew that these two were there for him, but he also knew that bringing himself to admit what he’d done wasn’t going to be easy. Even if they already had it figured out.

***

Levi had worried all day about tonight’s party at the quarry. About what might happen there if he went. About what Matt and Luke might say. But deep down he knew he wouldn’t be able to resist.

When he left the house to ride out to the quarry, which wasn’t very far away – just out on the main drag across to the Pacific Highway and then down a gravel road which would take him in behind where Casey lived – neither Luke nor his father were at home, so he was grateful that he wouldn’t have to see the disappointment in their eyes when he left. The party proved to be louder and wilder than the one before, with about twenty or so kids and adults there, all doing pretty much the same as last night’s crew had been doing. So much for Casey’s promise of just us.

A bonfire burned near the old rock walls. Music echoed off the stone and drinks were flowing freely.

Levi was welcomed, just like he was an old friend, with a glass bottle of beer quickly being pushed into his hand.

‘You’re one of us now, Church Boy,’ one of them said.

He didn’t know for how long he nursed that first bottle, sipping slowly, wincing at the taste, before eventually it began to warm him. When it was done, another was handed to him.

Casey’s group kept pushing beers into Levi’s hands, encouraging him to loosen up.

Levi drank more than he should have. The world grew softer around the edges, and when Casey placed an arm around his shoulders, leading him away from the fire and into the shadows, Levi didn’t resist. He didn’t even know what was happening.

Casey had been patient . . . playing the long game . . . and he figured he finally had Levi where he wanted him. This kid wasn’t that much younger than him, but from the time he had first seen Levi when he had been visiting the school with his father, all innocent and boyishly cute, Casey knew that he wanted him. He had to have him.

The seduction came slowly, as the two of them sat on the trunk of a fallen tree in the shadows, while looking back towards the bonfire. Another branch of the tree was directly behind them, providing a backrest, and they leaned against it, their shoulders rubbing together.

‘I’m glad you came,’ Casey said quietly.

‘I wasn’t sure that I would,’ Levi replied. ‘I think dad might know what happened to the car . . . him and Luke have heard some of the whispers.’

‘He’ll get over it,’ Casey answered, while at the same time subtly draping his arm along the branch behind them. If Levi sensed anything, he didn’t show it.

But Levi did sense the movement, and he felt Casey’s arm against his shoulders. Maybe it was the beer, or maybe it was the fact that he liked the feeling of contact with another person, Levi leaned closer to the boy beside him.

His heart hammered. Something was happening, but he wasn’t sure what exactly. He looked up towards Casey’s face, which was lit by firelight, and as he did so Casey raised his other hand and ran it along Levi’s jawline, then allowing an extended finger to trace the line from the point of Levi’s chin, down his throat, then down the line of buttons on the button-up shirt Levi was wearing, before eventually ending up resting on the boy’s lap and moving in a gentle, circular rhythm, massaging the growing bulge behind the blue, striped board shorts that Levi was wearing.

‘You okay?’ Casey asked quietly.

Levi didn’t answer. He just swallowed, and continued looking into Casey’s eyes . . . almost as if he was under a spell.

The first kiss was soft and gentle. To Levi it felt much like when he had kissed Brooke. It was . . . nice. Comforting.

But before long, Casey’s hands were on him, pulling him closer. The grip on his shoulder tighter. The hand on his lap searching for a way inside his shorts. The kiss became harder. More urgent. And for a few dizzying seconds Levi kissed back, opening his mouth and allowing Casey’s invasion.

It felt good – dangerously good. But then reality crashed over him, like a wave of ice-cold seawater.

He froze, while Casey continued, but then he finally came to his senses, and shoved Casey away, while at the same time trying to stand and get away from this . . . attacker.

‘No!’ Levi gasped, breathing hard. ‘It’s wrong! No!’

Casey was shocked – he had been so sure of himself – while laughter erupted from the group near the fire. The sound echoed off the quarry walls, sharp and mocking.

‘Levi, don’t . . .’ Casey tried to say, but was quickly cut off.

‘No! Fuck you!’ Levi swore, as he staggered backwards, his face burning with shame, his cock as hard as steel – though he was grateful at least that it was still inside his shorts.

He stumbled away from the mocking crowd, towards where he had left his bike, while Casey followed, trying to plead with him to come back, trying to tell him it was just a bit of harmless fun, but Levi wasn’t interested in hearing any of it. With the shock of what had happened, and with the cool night air, he was suddenly sober, suddenly wide awake and aware of his surroundings. All he wanted was to get the hell out of there, and so he threw a leg over his bike and pedalled as hard as he could, all the way home in the dark, his lungs burning and his head spinning.

When he finally reached the house on Beachside Lane, he couldn’t bring himself to go inside. He kicked a garden watering can that was beside the garage, creating a racket, before leaning back against the garage door and then sliding down onto his arse, in front of his father’s new ute, knees drawn up, trying to hold himself together, while sobbing quietly.

A few moments later the back door opened, and Luke stepped out, concern etched on his face.

‘Levi?’

Levi didn’t answer, and Luke didn’t say anything else. He just sat down beside him on the cold ground.

When he tried to put an arm around him, to comfort him, that was when Levi pulled away, and Luke knew that something was seriously wrong.

To be continued . . .