-- Chapter 23 --

Friday morning arrived with a nervous energy Levi couldn’t shake. It had been a restless night, and with something set to happen tonight, which he still didn’t know the details of, he just knew that it was going to be a restless day as well.

At breakfast, Matt and Luke confirmed their plans for the evening.

‘We’ve got that work function in Macquarie Harbour for Luke’s job,’ Matt said, sipping his coffee. ‘We’ll probably be back late. Tim and Guy are heading out somewhere too, I think. So will you okay here by yourself for the night?’

Levi nodded quickly, trying to sound casual. ‘Yeah, I’ll be fine. Might just chill and watch something.’

Luke smiled. ‘We’ll be coming home to change before we head off, so if we don’t see you, just text us later if you need anything.’

‘Sure.’

The message from Casey the night before kept replaying in his head: Got something fun in mind. He was curious, even excited, but the nerves were stronger. What exactly did fun mean with Casey? He still remembered the warnings from Jimmy, Dan, and Brooke, but still, the pull remained.

And just why had he been asked by Casey in the first place? He wasn’t sure, but being invited into that world was a major step forward, in his mind at least, even if he still had no idea what it was that he had been invited to, or where it was going to take place. And with his father and Luke set to be in Macquarie Harbour he knew that it would be the perfect opportunity to step outside his comfort zone.

He just needed to know what he could expect. He needed to talk to Casey – or at least message him – so before he left for school, he punched a single word into his phone, then hit send.

<Details?>

Then he waited.

The bike ride to school was just a blur, as his mind buzzed about something other than seeing his friends. During lunch he sat with Brooke, Jimmy, and Dan, laughing along with their usual banter, but his mind was elsewhere.

When they asked what he was doing that night, Levi forced a shrug. ‘Can’t hang out tonight, sorry. Got something on with Matt and Luke.’

Brooke looked disappointed. ‘Really? I was hoping we could do something.’

‘Yeah, me too,’ Levi said, hating the lie. ‘But we’ll catch up over the weekend, promise.’

She gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand.

Brooke was disappointed, of course, but was accepting. Jimmy and Dan looked at him suspiciously, as if they knew something was up, but said nothing. He also felt guilty that he would be ditching his friends, but at the same time there was something exciting about hanging with Casey – despite the boy’s reputation, and all the warnings he had received.

All day at school, Levi’s stomach was in knots. He hadn’t seen Casey at school all day, which was surprising, so he sent another text message just before they went back inside for their afternoon lessons, asking what was happening. By the time school had finished for the day and they were all leaving, however, he still hadn’t heard anything, so was beginning to wonder if it was still going ahead, whatever IT was.

After the final bell, the four of them lingered near the gate. Jimmy and Dan gave him fist bumps and headed off. Brooke walked alongside him once he retrieved his bike from the racks and they set off in the direction of the weir. He would walk with her until they reached her street, then he would ride the rest of the way home.

At the intersection of Main Street and Jacaranda Street they came to a stop, where Brooke pulled him in for a tender kiss – soft, sweet, and lingering. Levi kissed her back. Another pang of guilt twisted his stomach.

‘Text me later?’ she asked.

‘Yeah. Definitely.’

He watched her walk away, then turned toward home with a heavy mix of anticipation and dread.

It was only when he reached Beachside Lane and was very nearly home that his phone finally buzzed. He stopped on the side of the gravel road, in the shade of a gum tree, and looked at his phone.

It was a message from Casey.

<You still on for tonight?>

He looked at it for a long time, as his heart began picking up speed. Then he typed back quickly.

<That depends. What’s the plan?>

<Can you get away?>

There was another pause, as his fingers hovered over the keys.

<Yeah. Dad and Luke are going to Mac Harbour for some function. I’ll be home alone.>

Now it was Casey’s turn to pause. The three dots appeared, then disappeared, then appeared again.

<For real?>

<Yeah.>

Another pause.

<So, can you get the car keys?>

Levi stared at the message, blood rushing in his ears, not quite believing what he was seeing. This was it. The line he knew he shouldn’t cross. Borrowing the car for a joyride with Casey and his mates, when he didn’t even have a proper license. It was stupid. Dangerous. Maybe even insane! Exactly the kind of thing everyone had warned him about.

He knew he should say no.

He knew he should delete the messages and just go inside and lock the doors and not come out tonight at all.

Levi stared at the screen. His thumbs hovered over the screen for what felt like forever.

But the devil and the angel were on his shoulders again, and in his ears. And it was the thrill – the desire to prove he wasn’t just the good church boy who always did what he was told – urged on by the devil on his left shoulder, that eventually won out.

<I don’t know . . . maybe. That’s pretty heavy.>

<Come on, live dangerously for once, Church Boy. You’ve been stuck in that perfect little cage long enough. One night isn’t going to kill you.>

He didn’t answer straight away, but then another message came.

<Just do it!> urged Casey.

<Okay. I’ll see what I can do.> Levi typed. Then he hit send fast, before he could change his mind.

Casey’s reply came almost instantly.

<That’s fucking perfect!>

Levi hesitated for a long moment, before then typing.

<Where?>

<Swing by my place on the far side of the lake. I’ll be out front. Eight o’clock. On the dot. Don’t be fucking late.>

<Where are we going?>

<I’ll tell you when you get here.>

Levi slipped the phone into his pocket, took a deep breath, then rode the rest of the way home. As fast as he possibly could.

The house was empty and quiet when he got there. Matt and Luke hadn’t arrived home yet to get ready for their night out, so he went to his room and collapsed on the bed, lying back and staring at the ceiling, his body sweating, heart still racing.

Part of him was already regretting the decision.

But another, louder part couldn’t wait for tonight.

***

Matt and Luke arrived home at five-thirty, quickly showered and changed, then left around six-thirty in Luke’s car, both looking sharp for the work function. Tim and Guy had come home at about the same time, but had left soon after, and by a little after six-thirty, the house was suddenly very quiet.

Levi wasn’t sure what to do. He paced up and down the hall. Went to the kitchen for something to eat and drink. Paced some more. Then he decided he needed to take a shower and get dressed, finding some jeans and a button-up shirt, then pulling on a pair of worn joggers.

At quarter to eight the nerves were almost unbearable. He felt like he might throw up as he stood in the kitchen staring at the car keys hanging on the hook by the back door. He reached for them once, twice, but pulled his hand back each time.

‘What the fuck am I doing?’ he muttered. Swearing still felt foreign on his tongue, but it was creeping in more and more lately. Everybody swore. Even Brooke.

At five to eight, he finally snatched up the keys and went outside to the garage, then dragged the door open. The Commodore started easily, as it always did, and he carefully backed it out of the garage. He made sure the door was closed, then reversed onto Beachside Lane. His hands were sweating on the wheel as he turned toward town.

The night felt electric from the moment Levi backed the Commodore out of the garage. His hands were clammy on the steering wheel as he drove, with guilt already gnawing at him: but so was a strange, buzzing excitement.

After pausing briefly at the intersection to check there was no oncoming traffic, Levi turned right on the main road, drove a few hundred metres and then turned left onto the road that would take him to the far side of the lake, where Casey said his house was.

He had driven this road often enough while out having lessons with his father, so was confident enough that he would get to the destination, and soon enough he found Casey waiting outside an old weatherboard house, hands in his pockets and a satisfied grin on his face.

‘I knew you’d grow a pair of balls eventually!’ Casey grinned, as he slid into the passenger seat. ‘The boys are waiting on the corner of Three Bridges Road. We’ll pick them up on the way.’

‘So, where are we going?’ Levi asked, his voice tight.

‘You know the sports ground, and the campground on the creek beside it? Bonfire party happening at the campground. C’mon, let’s go!’ Casey excitedly said, while slapping the dashboard a couple of times. ‘Relax, Church Boy. You’re finally about to have some real fun.’

Levi sat frozen for a few seconds, hands flexing on the steering wheel. He could still turn back. No one would know.

But he would know he’d chickened out.

And Casey would know.

‘Well?’ Casey urged. ‘You gonna use that new pair of balls, or not?’ he said as he reached across and briefly groped the front of Levi’s jeans, then pulled back with a teasing laugh.

The shock of the touch was mixed with something electric that Levi didn’t want to name. He put the car in gear and pulled out.

They picked up Casey’s two mates, Dylan and Jarrad, on the corner. The boys piled noisily into the back, loud and rowdy, full of crude jokes and energy, teasing Levi about finally joining the dark side, but there was an undercurrent of approval too. And acceptance, perhaps? Levi forced a nervous laugh and kept driving.

***

The sports ground and adjoining campground sat just outside the town boundary. A bonfire was already blazing when they arrived, sparks rising into the clear, dark night. From a portable speaker sitting atop an old ute, music thumped. The night air pulsed and vibrated from the music and the laughter of the twenty or so local kids who could be seen scattered around.

Several heads turned when Levi pulled the car to a stop and then stepped out with Casey’s group. A few people whistled and teased him. A few clapped him on the back as they joined the throng.

‘Church boy’s out past curfew!’

‘Shit, is that the new kid, Casey? Some fresh meat?’

Levi had no idea what that meant, but he did notice Casey giving the guy a subtle shake of his head. Still, he stuck close to Casey. Someone offered him a beer, but Casey took it away and handed him a Coke instead.

‘Nah, he’s driving! And besides, he’s only sixteen!’ Casey said firmly. A few jeers followed, but Levi felt strangely grateful, even if slightly embarrassed.

The night seemed to swallow him. He had never been to a party like this. The fire, the music, the laughter – it felt dangerously alive.

The air smelled of smoke, cheap beer, and something a little more exotic that Levi couldn’t quite name. Bottles and cans glinted in the firelight. Some kids were sitting on logs, or car bonnets, or the folded down tailgates of their utes. Others were dancing loosely near the fire. One couple were kissing and groping each other, standing at the edge of the darkness, and Levi felt himself stir at the sight. He quickly looked away.

He stayed close to Casey at first, sipping his Coke and taking it all in. The freedom, the noise, the lack of rules – it felt dangerous and thrilling all at once. As the night deepened, he let Dylan talk him into trying a scotch and Coke. The warmth spread through his chest on the first sip. Over time, he had a second, then a third, and soon he was pleasantly buzzed – light-headed, smiling easier, laughing at jokes he probably wouldn’t have found funny otherwise.

Casey stayed near him the whole time, occasionally throwing an arm around his shoulders in a casual, possessive kind of manner. He seemed proud that Levi was there, almost like he was showing off a new prize. Levi noticed it, but the alcohol and the atmosphere made it easy to ignore the warning bells.

At one point a girl grabbed one of his hands and tried to pull Levi toward the dancers. He shook his head, laughing, but she was persistent. He didn’t know her name, but she had long, dark hair and sparkling eyes. For a few moments they swayed to a slow song, but when she tried to kiss him, Levi quickly pulled back, leaving the girl disappointed. He watched as she found another victim, pairing off with a slightly older-looking guy, wearing jeans and a chequered shirt with no sleeves. Soon they were kissing hungrily against a tree, hands wandering under clothes. Was that what she had in mind for Levi? The sight stirred something confusing in him. He looked away quickly, only to catch Casey watching him with a knowing little smirk.

What did that mean, he wondered?

Around ten-thirty, Casey leaned in close. ‘We should probably get you home soon. Don’t want to push your luck on your first proper night out.’

Levi nodded, relief and disappointment mixing inside him. They rounded up Dylan and Jarrad and said their goodbyes.

‘We better get the new kid home before he turns into a pumpkin,’ Casey said to a group of kids.

Everyone laughed, including Levi. They piled back into the Commodore. Levi felt surprisingly good as he slid behind the wheel.

‘You okay?’ Casey asked as they pulled away.

‘Actually . . . yeah. I am. Thanks.’

Casey grinned. ‘Drop the boys where we picked them up, then you can get home before the fags notice you’re missing.’

The casual slur stung, but less than Levi expected.

The mood in the car was still high as they pulled away – windows down, radio blasting loud rock music after Casey fiddled with the dials. The four of them sang along at the top of their lungs, off-key and carefree. Levi felt alive. Really, properly alive in a way he couldn’t remember ever feeling before. The wind whipped through his hair. The engine roared beneath him. For once, he wasn’t the grieving kid or the new church boy. He was just . . . free.

‘Floor it!’ one of the boys in the back yelled.

Levi laughed – a real, wild laugh he hadn’t heard from himself in months – and he pressed the accelerator harder. The Commodore surged forward through the darkness, along Three Bridges Road, as they headed back towards town.

But the fun didn’t last.

On a sharp bend, less than a hundred meters from where he had to drop Dylan and Jarrad, Levi took the corner too fast. The tyres lost grip on some loose gravel. The car fishtailed violently.

‘Shit! Slow down!’ Dylan yelled from the back.

Levi panicked and over-corrected, then the Commodore slid sideways. The car slammed into a metal guide rail, then somehow spun, and ended up on the other side of the road, crunching heavily into a tree.

The sound of crunching metal and shattering glass was sickening.

For a few terrifying seconds everything was silent except for the ticking of the cooling engine.

‘Is everyone okay?’ Levi gasped, hands shaking on the wheel.

Casey touched his bleeding lip where he’d hit the dashboard. ‘Yeah . . . yeah, we’re good. But the car’s fucked, mate.’

Levi stumbled out and stared at the damage. The front end was crumpled. The passenger side was badly dented. One headlight hung loose like a broken eye.

Reality crashed over him harder than any wave.

‘Oh my God! What the fuck have I done . . .’ he whispered.

Casey put a hand on his shoulder, but his voice had lost some of its charm. ‘We’ll sort it. Just stay calm. We were never here, yeah?’

But Levi knew there was no hiding this. Not something this big.

As the boys scattered into the night, promising to keep quiet, Levi stood alone beside the wrecked Commodore, the sound of a summer breeze in the trees above him, and distant waves, quietly mocking him.

Levi’s brief taste of freedom had just cost him dearly.

***

When morning came, Levi’s eyes opened and he looked around him. For a long moment he lay staring at his bedroom ceiling, trying to piece together how he had even gotten into bed. The last clear memory was the sharp bend on Three Bridges Road rushing toward him.

Lifting his head slightly, despite the protests coming from within, he could see that he was still wearing the clothes he had been wearing the night before, and he had absolutely zero recollection of how he had gotten back here.

His head was throbbing with a dull, relentless ache. His mouth felt like it was lined with sandpaper. What happened last night, he wondered?

With a groan he sat up and then stripped off his clothes, which smelled faintly of smoke and alcohol, then stumbled to the bathroom. In the mirror, he noticed a bruise had formed on his forehead. It didn’t look too nasty, but when he touched it gingerly, he winced. He’d need a story for that, he figured.

Back in the hallway he stopped and listened. The house was quiet. Everyone else was still asleep. Levi padded out to the kitchen, where he switched on the kettle, then slumped onto a stool, elbows on the bench, head in his hands.

Fragments of the night began to come back in short flashes.

Picking up Casey . . . the bonfire glowing against the dark . . . the taste of scotch and Coke . . . dancing awkwardly with that dark-haired girl while Casey watched . . . the wild singing in the car . . . someone yelling “Floor it!” . . . the sickening crunch of metal and shattering glass . . . the others scattering into the night . . .

How the hell am I going to explain this?

The kettle clicked off. As Levi reached for it, his eyes drifted to the key rack by the back door. The Commodore keys were hanging there, exactly where they always hung.

What the fuck?

He touched the bruise on his forehead again. It was real. The night had been real. But how were the keys back on the hook?

He was still staring at them when he heard footsteps. Luke wandered in wearing only a pair of black boxer shorts, yawning.

‘Morning, mate,’ Luke said warmly. He gave Levi a quick one-armed bro hug as he passed. ‘How was your night? Anything exciting happen?’

‘I . . . I tripped over coming back through the scrub from the beach,’ Levi blurted, far too quickly. He pointed at the bruise. ‘It was dark.’

‘Oh, nasty,’ Luke said, frowning with concern. ‘You okay?’

But before Levi could answer, there was a firm knock at the back door. They both turned, to find a uniformed policeman standing outside.

Luke opened the door. ‘Can I help you, officer?’

The constable’s eyes flicked briefly over Luke’s near-naked form before settling on his face. ‘Sorry to bother you so early. I’m Constable Shane Leggatt. Would this be the residence of Matthew Parsons? Owner of a black Holden Commodore, with registration number . . . . . .’

Levi didn’t hear the rest. His stomach dropped. He felt like he might throw up.

Luke glanced back at him. ‘Hey, Levi – can you call out to your dad please?’ Then to the officer: ‘Matt and I were in Macquarie Harbour last night. What’s this about?’

‘It appears the car was involved in an accident on Three Bridges Road sometime last night.’

Luke’s eyes immediately went to the key hook. ‘But . . . the keys are still here.’ He lifted them off the hook and showed the constable.

‘What’s going on?’ Matt’s deep voice came from behind them. He’d just walked into the kitchen in track pants and an old t-shirt.

‘Matthew Parsons?’ the constable asked.

‘Yes.’

The officer repeated the news about the accident. Luke held up the keys again as proof they were still in the house.

Matt’s expression hardened. Without another word, he pushed past the constable and strode outside toward the garage, Luke and the officer following. Levi stayed back in the kitchen, heart hammering, trying to stay out of sight.

He heard the squeak of the garage door, as Matt opened it.

A long silence followed.

Then Matt’s voice, loud and sharp: ‘Levi!’

Levi stepped to the doorway, his heart racing.

Luke was resting his butt against the front of his car, which they had parked outside when they returned last night. Levi wondered what might have happened if they’d gone to park it inside the garage last night instead. Matt stood in the empty garage bay, staring at the space where the Commodore should have been. His face was a mixture of confusion and growing anger.

‘Did you hear anything last night?’ Matt demanded.

‘N-no.’

Luke answered for him, his voice quiet. ‘He said he was over at the beach.’

The constable looked between them, notepad in hand. ‘We’ll need to ask a few questions. The car was found severely damaged early this morning.’

Levi’s mouth went dry. He could feel the walls closing in, but for now – at least for this moment – no one was pointing the finger directly at him.

Yet.

To be continued . . .