Today we're bringing you another piece that has been written by Dark about how to work with your beta reader. He was even kind enough to share some of the suggestions made by his beta readers and his fixes or his reasoning. Enjoy!
Working with your Beta Reader
When I first came to GA, I had no beta. After getting to know some of the folks here, advertising, and doing some snooping around, I started working with some folks as betas. So, now that I have a beta, what do I do with him/her?
Working with a beta can be a very personal experience because stories/novellas/etc. are an author’s baby. That’s our work! and we don’t always like it when someone tells us it sucks. Authors, like other artists, can be pretty dramatic -- oh no! I got an awful review, so I must suck as an author, let me go hide in RL and never write again! LOL. I’m sure you know people (or yourself) who has reacted like that. The trick is to be able to step away from the “Augh, you’re attacking my baby!” reaction and get something useful out of it, because if you’re not learning or improving, then what’s the use?
I found the beta for my Secrets Can Kill (SCK) Anthology from some comments he sent me on previous stories and chatting with him on GA Chat. Since I was still feeling the sting from a recent bad-beta experience and because I was still working on SCK, I sent this prospective beta something else I was working on. A few days later I received back a word document with what looked like a thousand little red boxes scrunched on the right-hand margin with the word “unnecessary” typed inside. My eyes did this: O_O
103 comments later, I knew that I had found something special. That story went on to earn some amazing reviews from our GA readers. The self-satisfaction I felt cannot be described.
You may be wondering how I went from all those red boxes and my first reaction (which was OMG I suck!) to the finished product. Below you will find a handful of before-beta work, the beta’s comment(s) and the after-beta product.
From Waylon's Crossing
Before:
Finding the access ways was a learned skill, one that had consumed a centuries of Bryce's life. Now he could slip from one world to the other with almost as much ease as demonkind.
Beta’s comments:
Initially you capitalised [demonkind]. I prefer it not as humankind is never capitalised and what’s the difference.
After:
Finding the access ways was a learned skill, one that had consumed centuries of Bryce's life. Now he could slip from one world to the other with almost as much ease as demonkind.
My reasoning:
continuity! I had to go back and make sure that I wrote the same thing everywhere throughout the story instead of switching back and forth between Demonkind and demonkind. I agreed with my beta here.
Before:
The little half-unicorn still reeked of the magic he'd summoned, more felt than smelled, like static picked up by rubbing socked feet over carpet. Touch him and Bryce received a jolt.
Beta’s comment:
I know exactly what you were trying to say but I don’t think you were saying it very clearly.
After:
He gave the little half-unicorn a sideways glance and rubbed his arms. The remnants of magic clinging to Jacen made all the hairs stand up on Bryce’s body. It was a ticklish sensation like static picked up by rubbing socked feet over carpet. What made Bryce nervous was wondering when and how that static would discharge.
My reasoning:
This second version more clearly brings out the wariness of the character that I wanted to convey.
From Ashton's Place:
Before:
The water in the lake was low at this time of year, so even though Ashton rolled up his pants-legs, his feet stayed dry.
Beta’s comments:
This is unnecessary. The reason his feet don’t get wet is because they don’t reach the water. if you want to leave it in, I’d suggest … year, so Ashton’s rolled up pants stayed dry. The ‘legs’ part is unnecessary … which other part of the pants is likely to be down there? J
After:
The water in the lake was low at this time of year, but he rolled up the bottoms of his trousers anyway;
My reasoning:
says what I want without being wordy.
Before:
His books were all gone, including the brand-new copy of Sherlock Holmes "The Adventure of Wisteria Lodge" that he’d received for his birthday. He stared at the empty shelf for long minutes.
Beta’s comment:
It might seem superfluous, but describe his reason for this long look … is it wonder, amazement, curiosity, surprise, shock, bafflement etc?
After:
His books were all gone, including the brand-new copy of Sherlock Holmes’ "The Adventure of Wisteria Lodge" that he’d received for his birthday. He stared at the empty shelves, wracking his brain for the reason behind this latest punishment. He couldn’t think of anything, but he knew he was always disappointing his parents.
My reasoning:
This explains why Ashton is staring at his bookshelf without being repetitive (stuff was missing). The phrase allows the reader to empathize with the reader and alludes to Ashton’s relationship with his parents.
Before:
Screaming, Ashton scrambled up the steps, ignoring the damage he was inflicting to himself. He ran outside and straight into the lake only to find himself standing on the dock before he’d even really begun to drown. He was clean and dry and fell to his knees, staring down at the water which showed no reflection.
Beta’s comments:
I get that this is another spatial shift, but I think this one is unnecessary, and a shift too far. I’d cut it to … He ran outside and onto the dock. Looking down he could see he was clean and dry. Confused, he fell to his knees, and stared over the edge into the water. Water which also showed no reflection.
After:
Screaming, Ashton scrambled up the steps, ignoring the damage he was inflicting to himself. He ran out to the dock. No blood met his eyes when he lifted his hands; he was clean and dry. Falling to his knees, he stared down at the water and his missing reflection.
My reasoning:
I agree with my beta on this; I’ve already described what happens when Ashton gets too far from the house. Changing it up better connects the previous scene and what will follow. Instead of distancing the reader from the action, the reader has a chance to reconnect with the main character. My style is to be less explicit, so I use imagery to try and create the confusion Ashton is feeling.
Working with a beta can be one of the most rewarding experiences as an author. Not only do they tell you what needs improvement, but the right beta will also encourage you and boost your ego by telling you what you’re doing right.
I had a general idea of what I wanted in my beta and in my comments. For example, I wanted someone who was tough. I wanted more than “I liked it.” I wanted to know if my work had the desired effect and I did not want to pull teeth to get that feedback. I wanted someone who wasn’t afraid to tell me something sucked and how to fix it.
You may want something different, but you’ll never know unless you try. Good luck!
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