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  • Cia

    September CSR Discussion Day: The Tor by andy cannon

    By Cia

    Well, tis a cool day here in the end of September, though in the past it's been blazin hot. In this month's featured story from the first Monday's blog post, the past, present, and maybe even the future? weigh immeasurably on the main characters. Can they bear it? Could andy cannon bear my questions? Read on to find out the answers to all that! Share your thoughts on his story, The Tor, below in comments!  Do you eat your fruits and vegetables? I’m a big fan. If you were an animal, wha
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    • 42 views

Busted chapter 29

[it's weird, stopping at what's really just a scene breakpoint, but only occasionally. Still, it keeps me moving, which is good]   Joe was snoring softly when Steve nudged him awake. At some point, after a half dozen games of Candyland, he and Toby had managed to fall asleep. Joe was still sitting on the floor. Toby was curled up in his lap with Joe's arms wrapped around him.   "Hey, wake up," Steve said softy. "It's time to go to bed."   Joe looked up, entirely confused.   "Uh
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Busted chapter 28

[Apparently Toby really likes Joe. Didn't expect this particular twist. Gotta love characters that surprise. Poor Alex though, he's getting the short end of things with Joe]   Joe and Toby kicked the soccer ball around for an hour before they were interrupted by a clap of thunder from off in the distance. The promised storms were coming, and they were bringing lightning in their wake.   "Guess it's time to head inside, Toby," Joe said.   "'Kay, Uncle Joe."   Joe was glad for the excuse.
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Busted chapter 26

[i'm not sure if this bit's too revealing. I'm tempted to cut it, actually]   Saturday morning Chris woke up to the sounds of his third alarm. He'd had to dig his spare alarm clock out of the closet the past week. Chris had been having a hell of a time waking up ever since the divorce was final. Two or three days a week for the past month, he'd wake up feeling like he hadn't slept.   When his dreams had just been dreams it was bad enough, but now they were full-blown hallucinations. Or fanta
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Busted chapter 25

[i hadn't planned on writing this chapter either. And now I realize I need some chapters in the B storyline in the past. Argh!]   Joe always had the hardest time finding a parking spot at Alex's apartment complex. He didn't go there all that often
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Busted chapter 24

[i hadn't planned on writing this chapter. I was going to just skip to the next one. Well, okay, the one after that, since there's [i]another[/i] little chapter coming I can't skip. Best laid plans
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Busted chapter 18 and a half

[As I'm getting into this I'm realizing I need more work on the B storyline, which'd be the whole death thing. There should be a chapter before this one where Stephanie's family is found, and some of the boring really needs to get removed from this. So we're going back in time a little. Whee! This 'wednesday' is the day before Joe is in on the interview with Stephanie]   Wednesday morning Chris Gagnon was sitting at his desk digging through the medical examiner's preliminary report on the O'Ma
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Busted chapter 23

[i bet you thought I'd forgotten about poor Alex! I think I need some connecting material with Chris and Steve, though]   Friday afternoon Joe was still digging through the pile of evaluations on his desk. It was slow going, slower than normal. He'd been playing the events of the past week over in his mind. Everything was just so strange.   A week ago he was happy and things were simple. Maybe they weren't picture perfect, but he had a quiet life he liked and a boyfriend he loved, and that w
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Busted chapter 22

[in which Joe gets yelled at. I keep waiting for someone who's really a cop to tell me exactly how wrong this all is -- I've been winging it on common sense and chutzpah so far. I really, really hope the stats I'm pulling out of the air are wildly overstated for dramatic reasons too]   Joe walked back to the rec room to see if there was anything else that Steve needed. Joe wasn't exactly sure what he was going to do. He felt numb and sick. His empty stomach hurt. His throat hurt.   Steve was
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Busted chapter 21

[i'll warn that things get a bit unpleasant in this one. I can't judge how bad, relative to the norm for the genre since I don't usually read this sort of stuff]   Chris was speechless as Joe went into the room. Joe and Billy O'Malley being related wasn't anything that'd even occurred to him. The last names were different. Joe was slender while Billy was built like a fat biker. Joe was sophisticated and clever and attractive
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Busted chapter 20

[Ah, poor Joe. I've figured out the second plot. Bwahahahahahaha! *cough*]   Joe parked on the street behind Steve's car, his little silver coup looking very out of place on the dingy corner. It wasn't one of the better parts of town, all old multi-story brick buildings that had been built back when this was the center of everything, before cars and the suburbs had killed it.   The sign next to the door just said "Johnson House", and gave no indication what was inside. Joe opened it. Waiting
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Busted chapter 19

[short, but it seems important. Not sure why. This, for the record, is the spot where I had to stop and make a note of all the characters that had shown up so far and what they did...]   Thursday morning Joe was digging through quarterly employee reviews. His office door was closed and his desk was piled with papers and empty coffee cups. Dave Brubeck was playing softly on the stereo in the corner. The electronic twiddle of his phone caught him by surprise. He'd told his assistant he wasn't su
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Busted chapter 18

[Right, this is where we find that my exposure to firing ranges is almost entirely through cop shows and Mythbusters]   Tuesday evening Joe dashed out of work late. It was 6:30 and he had to meet Steve at the range for seven. There wasn't time for him to get home and change, so he was stuck dressed for work. He was pretty sure a suit wasn't appropriate dress to go learn how to shoot things, but he didn't have a whole lot of choice.   The firing range was in a nondescript brick building by an
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Busted chapter 17

[Writing things like this on the train is a really surreal experience. I think I won't do that again -- it's tough enough to get past the puritan mores and write it in the first place. Luckily for me I was wearing a heavy jacket... (And yes, Joe gets laid, so be warned. Or encouraged. Whatever)]   Joe should have gone out to the club. He knew he ought to. He could dance. He could laugh. He could see Alex.   And that was why he didn't.   Guilt had gnawed at him ever since he'd left Steve Ru
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Busted chapter 16

[you know it's not going to be this easy. Be honest. You know that. This was originally chapter 15, but I needed a flashback, so it isn't]   Toby's scream brought Chris to his feet. The boy was lying on the ground on the other side of the pool, holding his knee and crying. Chris crossed the distance in four strides, almost falling himself as he ran on the hot concrete patio blocks that ringed the pool. He was there in seconds, cradling Toby as he cried.   "Sh, sh, it's okay. Papa's here, To
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Busted chapter 15

[This is a flashback. It needs a good transition into it, but it doesn't have one right now]   Nine year old Chris Gagnon huddled under his blanket. It was partly because even in Arizona, April nights were cold. It was partly because he was a little afraid of his dad, who was drunker than normal. But it was mostly because it was 9:30 and past his bedtime, and he still had eight pages of the newest Alpha Flight comic to read.   It wasn't the really newest issue, but it was the newest one he c
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Busted chapter 14

[Mmm, suspense! I think. I've been practicing some new things with all this. Short sentences. Characters thoughts. cliffhangers! All sorts of things. It's been interesting]   Joe's head whipped around. Standing at the corner of the house was the last person he expected to see.   "Alex?" Joe asked. A little thrill went down his spine, right to his crotch. It was a good thing he'd worn the speedos after all. They were snug enough to keep any reactions
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Busted, chapter 13

[i'm not sure if this is filler, setup (since it's only ~1200 words), or an introduction of more characters. But at least we learn something important -- Steve drinks domestic beer. (oh, the horror. The horror! )]   Joe pulled into the driveway of Steve's house at five minutes to two. The house was like all the others on the block. It was a neighborhood of older houses, middle class since the time they were built a century or more ago. They were all two-story buildings, old enough to have por
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Busted, chapter 12

[This should've been chapter six or thereabouts -- right before Steve visits Joe at work. Ah, well, something for the rewrite]   Friday morning Chris Gagnon woke up feeling like he'd been run over by a truck. He was tired and achy and his mouth tasted like something had crawled into it and died. He wasn't too surprised, he'd had beer last night. A lot of beer. He rolled out of bed, holding his throbbing head.   The worst part of it was the dream.   They'd stopped when he was eleven. After
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Busted, chapter 11

[insert witty and self-deprecating comment here]   Joe was still getting the blood off his hands when Steve pulled up in front of his apartment. He'd been trying to get it off since they left and it was still there, under his nails and between the ridges of his fingers.   "Gah, this stuff gets everywhere," Joe said as he pitched the wipe, now a light pink, into the trash bag to join the two dozen others he'd used.   "Yeah, it can be pretty bad," Steve said. "Listen, it was a little late to
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Busted, chapter 10

[Hey, Joe's good with kids. Go figure. Can't tell if this is the start or the end of a sub-plot...]   Joe put his best comforting face on, and tried to project as much reassurance as he could. He didn't have much experience with kids, but in his years in HR he'd had to deal with hysterical employees, psychotic episodes, stalking ex-husbands, and once helped deliver a baby. He hoped he could handle this.   "Hey there," he said quietly. The girl shrank back as far as she could, trapped between
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Busted, chapter 9

[And the plot thickens. Or at least congeals, but good enough]   Inside the apartment building things were busy. Detective Russell didn't need anyone to tell him where things had happened. The blood smears on the open door of unit 1-B and the forensic team inside it were more than enough.   There was a uniformed officer just inside the door to the apartment. Jensen. Rookie. He was looking green, but doing his best to hold it together.   "What happened?" Russell asked.   "Three fatalities
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Busted, chapter 8

[Y'know, this wasn't here when I started the story. And Joe's probably going to get in so much trouble. Oh, yeah, I'm practicing cliff-hangers. They seem useful things.]   Detective Russell pulled up into the apartment complex driveway. Like a lot of complexes in town, it was a collection of small buildings. These were brick, six apartments per three story building. There were twenty of the things lined up ten on a side. The complex itself was relatively new, maybe thirty years old at most, bu
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