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One week - or better said - holy shit!

Andrew Q Gordon

Entry posted by Andrew Q Gordon

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The emails, calls, text message, and anxiety attacks are coming with increasing frequency the last two days. Today was the third and last ultra sound for the surrogate. According to the doctor, the surrogate, let me call her Eve at this point - surrogate is so impersonal - Eve, has 18 follicles - which in layman's terms mean she has 18 eggs developing. In theory each of these can be fertilized and we would have potentially 18 embryos.

 

So being the dim sort, I asked if 18 was good, bad or normal. I didn't need to hear the words to know the answer, the nurse was effuse in her response saying this was pretty darn high, with high = good. I think I mentioned last time we paid extra for the 'insurance' plan which entitled us to a lot of additional attempts for 1/3 the cost of a single attempt. Well I realized on Monday - yesterday - that we didn't actually pay for the insurance plan because we had to 'accepted' first. Accepted means we were medically cleared. When I mentioned this to our agency's case manager, he expressed amazement that we needed to be accepted. It was at that moment I realized that the clinic is screening to see who is least likely to NEED the insurance. i.e. if the patient has a low possibility of getting pregnant, they aren't going to offer the insurance, because medically they aren't likely to get pregnant on the first go round and are more likely to use the extra attempts. :/

 

Now let me say, I love this doctor and his staff. Money grubbing are NOT words I would use to describe them. Knowing what I do for a living and recognizing that we had to save up for years to get to this position, they have actually waived fees totaling in the thousands of dollars for us. That tells me that while they enjoy making money, they are not squeezing every last nickel from people. Or at least not from people like me who are struggling to pay for this.

 

So the idea that they were screening and offering this only to folks who most likely wouldn't need it, was a bit of a shock. When I mentioned this the partner, he questioned whether or not we should buy it. I mean we have all the optimal factors in our favor, Eve's age, her response to the fertility drugs, the fact she is not only the egg donor but the carrier. All of these suggest we have a 90% chance of her getting pregnant the first time. - I bought the insurance anyway. If we end up in that 10%, we wouldn't be able to afford a new attempt. But on the other hand there is a 90% chance we just flushed $4800 down the drain because she is going to get pregnant. I should be upset about this, but for some reason I see it as money well spent.

 

Okay back to One Week. Things are moving much faster than anticipated - another good sign right?? We were told as late as last night that egg retrieval would likely be this weekend, with Saturday being the most likely day. But today, after the ultra sound, it was determined that Eve is having very good response to the fertility drugs - remember the giddy nurse? - and that they are going to do the retrieval in two days - Thursday. That means they will do the implantation on either Sunday or next Tuesday - one week from today. Holy Shit!

 

Unlike the first three attempts. these are live embryos, they are not a hope that sperm and egg will meet and create embryos. Nope, some guy named Mark is going play mother nature and connect to the boy and girl parts himself - do you think he something feels like God???. When they implant the embryos it is not insemination and hope. This is the big time. Holy Shit!!

 

So if you don't see me for a bit next week, it means I fainted, hit my head and I am in the hospital recovering. This time it's going to work, I can feel it. We are going to be dads. What the hell have we gotten ourselves into? Holy Shit!!!

 

[PS - I apprecitate those of you clicked the little "+" for this blog and the previous entry but for reasons beyond the control of anyone - they do not get added to my total - so don't waste those "+" that you have. They just go somewhere into the great unknown. It appears that only points given the responses get credited to the person. [at least that is how it is on my blog] Thanks Andy]

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MikeL

You have gotten yourselves into one of the most remarkable things that can ever happen to a person...parenthood. Some may not agree, but they are a distinct minority. My hearty congratulations in advance. It's good that same sex couples have the same parenting instincts that we "breeders" have. It will bring you joy the rest of your life.

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West Coast Dude

Ok let me get this straight who's kid is this, you or your partners. I'm going to do the same thing when I have kids, except, by then apparently they'll have altered the ova to match a mans dna! Yeah

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Cia
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Well let's put the insurance into perspective. You're looking at a possible harvest of 18 eggs (yes, that's the term they use) and they will inject each one with sperm. Then they will wait, let the little guys/gals begin to divide and then pick the ones with the most divisions and the healthiest appearance to implant. Also, some of those eggs and sperm could split off and produce a multiple even before implantation which would increase your fertilized egg count. If you are going multiple egg implantation then you have the best of the lot for the first chance and the rest put on the deep freeze. With a possibility of at least 10 leftover that leaves very good odds of having healthy eggs to implant should you need to go a second round, ones that aren't inhibited by being cryogenically frozen. So... the insurance is worth it. Plus, if you only have a single child this go round and pregnancy and the surrogate and money allow you have the chance to provide your child with a sibling down the road, if the fees include long term storage. That's an invaluable bit of comfort for your family, though even having a single child is a blessing when you have to really work at being a parent. Paying the insurance to have those chances means a lot in the emotional costs.

 

That being said, breathe, pick up a stress ball, do long complicated things to keep your mind busy and remember that in time you are going to look back and think of this as when you guys started your family. It's amazing, exciting, and yes, a bit nervewracking. Oh, and don't forget to eat. This is only the beginning of the ride you're in for. Oh, and the best part of it? There's no getting off!

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Kavrik

Best of luck to you Andy. I hope you don't hit your head and that everything turns out wonderfully :D You are going to make such a wonderful parent.

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Frostina

All The best Andy.. :hug:

You will be fine.. Just breathe.. relax.. and you'll get through...

 

This is but the first step. there's so much more to come later.. we will be waiting for the good news.. :D

 

keeping the fingers and toes crossed for ya!

hugs

Frosty

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Agaith

After all that we've heard of this through your blogs posts, I really really hope this is successful for you Andy, you and Mike deserve this.

 

Hoping to hear good news soon :D

 

:hug:

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Andrew Q Gordon

Mike: Thanks you and so many others have always beens upportive - but you know - as a dad and a granddad, I am going to email you when I am going nuts :)

 

Method: No not that Mark - though I am sure there is an element of God complex there as well :P

 

Cia: - :) Not sure what else to say to you I haven't said before - you are always there to shore me up when I freak out. But neurotic Andy :lmao: might be beyond even you - have to see how that goes - Thanks as always.

 

Zane: We are not telling whose little boys we are using - we both donated, we did NOT mix em up, we told them whose to use, but we are not even going to list the biological dad on the Birth Cert - It's our child not his or mine.

 

Kavrik: - Thanks - I will try not to hurt myself :)

 

Frosty: Thanks - I am breathing, - yeah right, breathe :)

 

Stuart: Thanks - now that it seems so much more real, I have no doubts, just getting anxious - Mike too, more than me actually LOL.

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AnytaSunday

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! ANDY!!!!! YAAAAAAAY!!!!!

 

(but please try not to faint, or at least not the hitting head part!) hehe

 

:sheep: bbbbbbbbyyyyyyyyyy (or baaabiiieeeesss)

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Andrew Q Gordon

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! ANDY!!!!! YAAAAAAAY!!!!!

 

(but please try not to faint, or at least not the hitting head part!) hehe

 

:sheep: bbbbbbbbyyyyyyyyyy (or baaabiiieeeesss)

 

Well let's not get the Yaaaaays out just yet - but this time, this way [expensive as it is] the odds look extremely good for us - Damian [stonedOrchid] is wishing triplets on me which might not be too good in truth but I will not complain :)

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Nephylim

I'm still keeping everything crossed, although the eyes are getting to be a bit of a problem and I am being forced to uncross them occasionally

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MikeL

Mike: Thanks you and so many others have always beens upportive - but you know - as a dad and a granddad, I am going to email you when I am going nuts :)

 

Anytime, Andy. I'm always ready to provide free advice. Understand that the value of the advice is questionable until the little one(s) is (are) born.

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Zeoanne

Those are wonderful news dear! Make sure you "Andy Proof" the house before you faint though. Don't want you having amnesia then not even remembering YOU'RE GONNA BE A DAD!!!! HOLY SHIT!!! :2thumbs:

Congratulations to both of you!

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Andrew Q Gordon

Nephy: Don't cross your eyes, that would inhibit your ability to write and then folks would get mad at me :)

 

Krista: Thanks - I's starting to think the real need for luck is that we don't have multiple births LOL

 

Rush: Thanks Momma, - and no ore trying to scare me with twins talk - Cia does that enough :D

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Phantom

Much luck and prayers heading your way! I personally think the $4800 was worth it only because it covers your base. I can't wait to read about you being Mr. Dad to all 5 of your babies ;)

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corvus

Wow, congratulations! Good luck to everyone involved, including the 18 eggs. :)

 

I appreciate your sharing your adventures with us. For me, it's an inspiration as well for what is possible in my future.

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Lugh

snickers

I'm going to be an UNCLE!

 

oh yeah it's true.

 

anyway, it's gonna happen. gonna gonna gonna. triplets sound fun. if that happens start buying diapers now.

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Andrew Q Gordon

Much luck and prayers heading your way! I personally think the $4800 was worth it only because it covers your base. I can't wait to read about you being Mr. Dad to all 5 of your babies ;)

 

 

OMG, I missed these last three entries - 5!?!?!? are you trying to kill me?? Honestly if my choices are zero or 5 I will take the five any day and twice on Sunday :)

 

Thanks for the well wishes.

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Andrew Q Gordon

Corvus: Thanks - as I mention in the latest entry, when they actually did the retrieve it was up to 22, but we ended up with 18 embryos - which is pretty kick ass I am told :)

 

Lugh: Uncle Lugh?? Sure that works but if you want to see the Niece(s) Nephew(s) or both, you gotta come out of hiding :P

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