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This article was originally posted on Jan 13, 2018 and has been updated to include Amazon links to additional resources.

Show, Don't Tell


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It's been said many times before. It's practically one of the first basics that every writer learns, that every mentor teaches, and that every critic jumps on. That is the idea of 'show, don't tell.' And yet, while many people may hear that, to some it's a bit unclear as to what that really means, or how to achieve that particular goal. Hopefully, this would give you a slightly better perspective on what appears to be a very simple task on the surface, but actually takes a little practice and finesse to pull off correctly.

 

The first thing to pay attention to is the difference between showing and telling. The 'telling' part of the equation is simple...these are the details of who your characters are and what's going on during any particular scene. Telling is a vital part of writing, so even though people say 'don't tell', don't think of telling as being the enemy. Telling is describing what your character is wearing, the color of his hair, how clean or how messy his bedroom may be, or whether or not it's raining outside. These are all things that your readers are going to need to know if they want to fill out a complete picture in their minds. You can also use telling to describe a certain action. Use it to let your reader know that your character crossed his arms, or that he gave your protagonist a slightly goofy grin. Maybe he's shuffling a deck of cards while he's talking or sipping beer out of a plastic cup. These are all acts of 'telling' your audience what they need to know and giving them a clear vision of where they are and what's happening.

 

Now 'showing' is a little bit different. Showing is the talent using the basic details and actions above to tell a much deeper story. Think of telling as getting the ingredients, spices, and garnishings together for a gourmet dinner...and showing as actually having the skill to use those ingredients to make your dish a masterpiece. Sometimes, this is where some people get a little shaky, and if you try to cut corners on this part of the process, you'll be missing some of the emotion and reader involvement that you need to make your story memorable.

 

Let's say you have someone in your story who's a friend of the main protagonist...but he can be a real jerk sometimes. Now there's nothing wrong with describing him through narration or simply writing, "He's my friend, but he can be a real jerk sometimes." That's perfectly functional, but that's just you 'telling' your readers that he can be a jerk. How do they know that? What are you going to do to demonstrate that? Simple...you create situations in your story (Even if they're very small scenes) that actually show him being a friend and other scenes that show him being a jerk. Maybe you have a small scene where he stands up for his best bud against a bully, but in the next scene he runs up and smacks the books out of his hands because he think it'll be funny. Just a few actions like that will give your readers the information they need about the character, and you won't have to waste time 'telling' them that. Find ways to use your story to actually demonstrate what you want your readers to know. Instead of saying, "He was so beautiful!" try creating a scene where your character is just caught off guard and keeps looking back at him. Describe his eyes, his hair, his laugh. Create an infatuation that your readers can feel and take part in. Just saying 'he's beautiful' isn't going to be memorable or important later. But readers will definitely remember that scene and think back to all the times they've felt the same way. It builds a stronger connection to what's going on.

 

This works for everything—moments of heartbreak, sadness, anger, and joy. Your characters' actions and spoken dialogue should say more about them than just what you type out on the screen. Every time you're describing something that isn't just concrete details...ask yourself how you can prove to your readers that the statement you just made is true. If you call someone a tough guy, or say that they're really funny, or that they seemed really shy and uncomfortable...ask yourself if you can find a way to demonstrate that through their actions instead of just saying so. Someone who's shy might look down at the floor when he talks or blush when given a compliment. Someone who's sad might seem distant or might be heard sniffling softly in a corner all by themselves at a party. Don't be afraid for your characters to speak for themselves and show who they are without the extra help.

 

I hope this helps a little bit and gives everyone something to think about while you're writing or editing your next story. A few well-written moments in your story will create memories that your readers will cling to and remember. Unless you've just written one of the greatest, most quotable, sentences in the history of literature...no amount of simple words and details will have the same effect.

 

Then again, if you can do BOTH...then go for it!

 


From @Myr: Here are some additional possible resources.  Gay Authors gets a small affiliate fee if you purchase either of these books from the links below:

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Excellent blog post, and an explanation of 'Show, Don't Tell.' The first time, I ever heard those words, it didn't have an explanation attached, and I instantly had a dislike of the whole phrase. To the point, I stopped writing for years, before I took it back up, and avoided Editors, and Beta Readers who used it. 'Show, Don't Tell' became a curse word in my dictionary. However, I am happy to see people actively explaining it, instead of just tossing it around, as a way to infer someone is writing low-class work.

 

1 hour ago, Myr said:

We had this discussion in the Writer's Circle, but in Science Fiction and Fantasy, because the worlds are not our worlds, there is more telling than in other genres.  The dreaded "information dump".  People that are primary in science fiction and fantasy, probably have a higher threshold for telling and not showing than others, but one still needs to be very careful with it.

This.

As someone that writes a ton of SciFi and Fantasy, there is a lot of Telling going on. Otherwise, your reader doesn't understand the world, or its rules, your writing about.

Edited by BHopper2
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I shall endeavor to show when there are things to be shown and tell only when things need to be told.

All is balance. All is harmony.

 

~bows to Senpei which is the same as bending over forward~

Edited by MrM
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On 1/13/2018 at 9:20 AM, CassieQ said:

Great article.  I've been told "show, don't tell" a lot when I was first starting, and it was incredibly frustrating not to have anyone elaborate on what it meant like this.  Another saying that I find even more helpful is "Demonstrate, don't lecture".

This comment has almost everything I was going to say . 

 

I'll just add that, I think this one of the first articles that made it very clear you need both. Other articles leave me with a clear impression that failing to show over tell is, well... failing.

 

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On 2018-01-13 at 9:05 AM, Myr said:

We had this discussion in the Writer's Circle, but in Science Fiction and Fantasy, because the worlds are not our worlds, there is more telling than in other genres.  The dreaded "information dump".  People that are primary in science fiction and fantasy, probably have a higher threshold for telling and not showing than others, but one still needs to be very careful with it.

 

This is one issue I’ve had with my own sci-fi writing... not having enough detail or “telling’ the reader what this new world that only exists in my mind looks like.   It’s a fine balance.   Too much detail and you lose your audience, too little and you might as well be writing about 20th century earth.  

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7 hours ago, LitLover said:

 

This is one issue I’ve had with my own sci-fi writing... not having enough detail or “telling’ the reader what this new world that only exists in my mind looks like.   It’s a fine balance.   Too much detail and you lose your audience, too little and you might as well be writing about 20th century earth.  

 

I can say that compared to my contemporary or postmodern fiction, (so far a city is a city even if it's on another planet with better technology) high fantasy,  with it's need for greater detail and a different vocabulary,  develops pacing problems. ( none of it is here yet for that very reason)

 

By the time I've set the stage for a new scene, after the description, the momentum of the previous is lost. Which I then have to rebuild. As if everyone is standing around waiting while it loads. 

 

I'm wondering if that's what you meant by losing the audience. Or if you meant losing them in the descriptions themselves. 

Edited by VampireMystic
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A possible new author in the near future. I've read so many stories and its time to start my own. But wow. I found myself actually really reading all that and not going boring. If school books were written like this was, I would have been a straight A student haha. Thanks I am absorbing all this information.

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