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mollyhousemouse

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Words are amazing aren't they?

Are we even aware of how much they can affect other people?

The casual use of a nickname.

A  kind “Hello” when you’re having a bad day.

A softly muttered “Bite me,” when someone crosses you, or you cross someone else!  

Words we use to make light of a situation; or that attempt to pretty something up, make a concept or idea less gritty, better for polite company.

 

Yes, words are powerful.  Think of a parent with a child.  A sharply spoken “STOP” can avert danger, cause the child to not touch that hot stove, or dash into the street. “I love you,” can be the sweetest thing you ever heard!  “I don’t want to see you anymore,” can be the harshest; or could cause a sense of relief to wash over you.

 

If someone tells you that something was difficult the words that you choose to bring comfort, or support, may sound like you are dismissing their pain or the effort that it took to get thru or past this thing.  It can have the effect of invalidating that person’s experience.

 

Think about that nickname for the guy you work with, for that friend of yours, whether you’ve known them for 8 years, 8 months, or 8 weeks.

What does it mean to them?  That you have christened them with your own appellation, something that only you call them, be it just between the two of you, or out where the world can hear.  Or maybe a nickname that confers some kind of acceptance into a group. Maybe you have taken it upon yourself to shorten their name, Richard to Rich, or Dick, Jonathan to Jon, Victoria to Vicky.

 

Does that person even like that you have done this? Does he or she grudgingly accept that you have done this, would they rather you didn’t? Was it the name that an old nemesis used as a form of torture or derision?  Does this nickname bring this person joy?  Does it makes him or her feel special? Make them a little giddy that you did this for them?

 

Words can be truthful or they can be lies. They can help you make wants and needs understood, they can be used to baffle or enlighten.  Think about the proverbial used car salesman, that fast talking shyster, trying to make that old clunker sound like a classic driven by a sweet little old lady to the market, the church, and home. A legal eagle’s contract written with lots of loopholes, the language archaic and full of jargon.  Or those little quotes from someone you admire. A former president, or first lady. A spiritual leader you admire perhaps. A book or an essay that explains that thing you've always wondered about. They can tell you why the caged bird sings, or take you far away chasing a mysterious white whale.  They can transport you to fantastical mythical places, or the corner store.

 

I believe that words are one of the most powerful tools in all of humanity. Just look at what they do.  They can bring comfort, joy, peace. Or they can wound, deeply, fatally even. Bring about war and division, foster hate and distrust.

Because of the inherent power of words, we need to be mindful of them.  Words are forever. Yes, even those spoken, not written, as they will be passed down by word of mouth to become tomorrow’s folk tales, and legends.  So before you call that new guy in the office Jon ask, before you call the short cashier at the market “The Garden Gnome,” stop and think about the power behind what is about to come out of your mouth.  When you finish a poem, chapter, or story, reflect on the power in what you just read.

 

MacGreg Sir wrote about just that in His poem “Taste Your Words Before You Spit Them Out”

 

What is the point of communicating with someone

If your intentions are meant to maim?

Taste your words before you spit them out.

Consider the impact of their flavor

As they roll across your tongue.

For once expelled, they cannot be retracted.

 

Consider this:

Will what you are about to say produce acidity?

Or lay a foundation for common ground?


 

So consider the power of words, your words.





 

With many thanks to @MacGreg Sir for allowing me to use part of His poem. Please look here for the complete poem, and here for more.

And as always to tim @Mikiesboy for his never-ending love and support. :kiss:

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mollyhousemouse

Posted

10 hours ago, Kitt said:

You are so right Molly!

 

While many times hurtful words are spat out intentionally, a bad thing to be sure, sometimes no hurt was meant. Worse, the intent could have been just the opposite.  I urge everyone who posts to consider how tone might affect the meaning.  This is something that cannot be adequately conveyed in a post or tweet or wherever you happen to be talking. Take, for example, some of Carlos Hazday's characters use the word a******as an affectionate reference. But said differently the same word could incite a riot.

 

The first time I read Mac's poem, it made me think of something my grandmother used to say. Mac said "taste your words". Gram used to say that, with the addition "you may have to eat them!"

you are so right too, Kitt!

 

a group of friends calling each other names, it's like a tribal thing, isn't it?

 

thanks for being an example with your young students, and  taking time to join the conversation!

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Defiance19

Posted

On 3/15/2018 at 9:22 PM, mollyhousemouse said:

thanks Reader

but it is like that, isn't it?

each day, each interaction, we have that power and have to make a choice

This is true.  Each day and each interaction, is a choice.  This is why I’m happy to be surrounded by kids 80% of the time. I get good practice in choosing my words. I am never deliberately mean or nasty. It’s not who I am 

 

But....

But there are people in my life whom I am very indifferent about.  No lie, they do not exsist my world, yet they exsist around me. Some closely.. It’s a conscious choice to not let these types of people get close enough, so I can then bear the scars of their words. I feel like I’d rather be that way than to let my filter loose. That’s way worse. Is that wrong? I don’t know.. 

 

Great blog, molly.. some things to think about for sure.. <3

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dughlas

Posted

When they were young I nicknamed my son's childhood best friend "Rat" purely as a term of affection. I was the only one to call him by that nickname. Though when talking about him my son would too and if he telephoned and I answered he would always identify himself as "Rat". The "boys" will be 37 this year and are still BF's and "Rat" is still "Rat". If I called him by his real name he would think I was angry with him.

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mollyhousemouse

Posted (edited)

On 3/16/2018 at 9:46 PM, Defiance19 said:

This is true.  Each day and each interaction, is a choice.  This is why I’m happy to be surrounded by kids 80% of the time. I get good practice in choosing my words. I am never deliberately mean or nasty. It’s not who I am 

 

But....

But there are people in my life whom I am very indifferent about.  No lie, they do not exsist my world, yet they exsist around me. Some closely.. It’s a conscious choice to not let these types of people get close enough, so I can then bear the scars of their words. I feel like I’d rather be that way than to let my filter loose. That’s way worse. Is that wrong? I don’t know.. 

 

Great blog, molly.. some things to think about for sure.. <3

oh my @Defiance19! i am so terribly sorry i didn't respond!  :blushing:

i too have people in my life to whom i am indifferent. is it wrong you asked.  i don't think so, taking care of YOU should be the priority

 

thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment!

Edited by mollyhousemouse
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mollyhousemouse

Posted

38 minutes ago, dughlas said:

When they were young I nicknamed my son's childhood best friend "Rat" purely as a term of affection. I was the only one to call him by that nickname. Though when talking about him my son would too and if he telephoned and I answered he would always identify himself as "Rat". The "boys" will be 37 this year and are still BF's and "Rat" is still "Rat". If I called him by his real name he would think I was angry with him.

:hug:

nicknames like that mean something, don't they? they're the ones that mean "you are a member of this family group!"  they are the special ones

 

thanks @dughlas for taking the time to read and comment

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