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Sorting it out


NickolasJames8

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Ok, so the first week of school is over and shockingly enough, I haven't got any major catastophic events to write about. The work seems pretty simple (so far) and it's kinda nice not to be at the bottom of the food chain anymore. Last year wasn't so bad, as far as being a freshman went, but it's nice to be able to say I'm a sophomore.

I had a good talk with my dad yesterday on the way home from the doctors office. I had an appointment at 11 and had to leave school at 9:30, and on the way back, we talked about his attitude towards me and mine toward him. He told me that he knows how mad I am at him for not letting me get out and do stuff like he used to, but that he wants me to know that it's because he's not taking a chance with my heart.

A couple of weeks ago, I got cleared from the cardiologist to do whatever I wanted as long as it wasn't too strenuous(sp), but then last thursday, I woke up in the middle of the night and my heart was racing fast and I couldn't breathe. My dad freaked out and rushed me to the emergency room and it turned out to be nothing. But because of the fact that I have a little hole in my heart, they ran a grip of tests to be sure before they sent me home.

Well since then my dads been on the war path. He wont let me drink Red Bull, he wont let me go out and do anything(including a party I was supposed to go to last night) and he wont leave me alone. He wakes me up at ungodly hours of the night to make sure I'm sleeping okay and he's basically been driving me crazy.

At the same time, while he's busy bugging the crap out of me about my heart, he's stressing me out about school. He wants to make sure I have all of my hw done and that I'm not staying up too late. He said that if he see's me doing my hw in the morning even one time this year he's going to break my computer :thumbdown::thumbdown:

So needless to say, we haven't had a civilized conversation in a while. That's why it was kinda nice to actually hear him say what's on his mind without also hearing, "If I catch you doing this, I'm taking your permit away," or "If you don't stay inside, I'll ground you from your computer." Basically, it feels like he's threatening to punish me if my heart doesn't get better. I know he's not really doing that, but that's how it feels.

Of course, having said that, he also caught me trying to sneak out last night to the party I was supposed to meet my bf at, and I got stuck here at home. He didn't ground me or take away my computer though. He just made me stay home, which was his plan from the get go. Then I had to call my bf and tell him why he's dating a total loser who can't go out and do anything. Then, being the sweetheart that he is, my bf ditches the party and walks all the way here to see me so I'm not just stuck here by myself.

So then this morningI get up and I check my email, and I couldn't believe it. I had one of the sweetest emails from someone who asked me if he could use one of my poems to take to his bf's grave with flowers and balloons. I can't believe my writing has that kind of effect on someone, and it really makes me stop to think about how lucky I am that some of the people who read my stuff found me. I know a lot of people write to thank me, but I think I should be thanking them.

Boxerdude, Xiao_Chun and Afriendlyface are awesome for having links to my stuff in their sigi's, too. I really owe them a lot for the support they've given me, and I promise to make it worth it. You're all awesome, and I couldn't ask for better friends on GA than you guys

So anyway, I worked a little on Chapter 32 of What's the difference, but then I went back to bed and had a crazy dream, then I woke up and here I am :D Ok, back to writing now

 

 

Kisses

Nick

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Wow Nick, I am sorry that you are having a tough time but at least you have your BF. Hehe I hope he makes it throught the morning? Hehe :lmao: If you know what I mean.

 

Well, that is good that school is going okay and I am glad you and your dad talked. Sometimes parents don't understand what kind of stress they are putting on you and it could make it worse instead of better. So, maybe if you and him talked it out he might understand your side a little. I am a big advocate of sitting down with the rents and having an "open table" discussion where no one is allowed to get mad or at least act out and you have to listen to what the other person is saying before commenting again. Now I am the worst, because I don't listen that well and I am always thinking about the next thing I want to say instead of listening to the other person. So I always have to watch that. But, I have seen it solve a lot of family issues.

 

Thanks for the cool note on the blog. I am really glad that I can do something to support you and get attention to your stories. They are the best. And Kevin and Michael are the best too!! I think a lot of both of them as well.

 

Keep your head up and can't wait for the next chapter of either WTD or B.Bay.

 

Hugs,

 

David :wub:

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Xiaos right, your dad is terrified, period. Nothing you can do, its not your fault, and here is a man who's #1 job is to protect his son, and he can't change a thing. That being his #1 job doesnt mean that you need to be protected, it doesn't deminish your importance in this world, so don't throw darts at my pic. :ranger: He would push you out of the way and let the bus hit him, and not even blink. I know, my son (13) has a heart murmur, and I can't do a damn thing about it but worry. It's not as serious as your condition, but I can relate to your dad. I have a friend that I've known for 30 years, (God I'm old), that has your condition, and you wouldn't even know it. He knows his limitations, so I can relate to you there.

 

Boxerdude and Xiao are right.........talk, like you guys did, sounds like it made things better. I have never fought with my dad, but we have never talked either, and we don't know each other very well because of it. We have always had that.......even strain.......between us. So all I can say is talk and stay close, before the wall is too high to climb.

 

Sounds like your BF is into guys that think they are loosers because they can't go out. :D Might want to keep him around.

 

Take care.

 

Ex.

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he wont leave me alone. He wakes me up at ungodly hours of the night to make sure I'm sleeping okay

:blink:

 

LOL, it's sweet but that does seem counterproductive. Have you ever tried responding, "well I WAS" :boy::lol:

 

My mom fondly recounts the time she was staying in a hospital overnight and they woke her up to ask if she needed a sleeping pill. :P

 

Then I had to call my bf and tell him why he's dating a total loser who can't go out and do anything. Then, being the sweetheart that he is, my bf ditches the party and walks all the way here to see me so I'm not just stuck here by myself.

awwwww :wub:

 

So then this morningI get up and I check my email, and I couldn't believe it. I had one of the sweetest emails from someone who asked me if he could use one of my poems to take to his bf's grave with flowers and balloons. I can't believe my writing has that kind of effect on someone, and it really makes me stop to think about how lucky I am that some of the people who read my stuff found me.

wow! that's awesome :D

 

Boxerdude, Xiao_Chun and Afriendlyface are awesome for having links to my stuff in their sigi's, too. I really owe them a lot for the support they've given me, and I promise to make it worth it. You're all awesome, and I couldn't ask for better friends on GA than you guys

Thanks Nick :) You're a terrific friend too! :)

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Nick, I think you and I have talked about this before. From what I've read in WTDBMAY, your dad cares for you very deeply. And it's apparent that he shows that love, even if it sometimes is in the form of worry.

 

Something that I learned along time ago with my late boyfriend. Phil was somewhat empathic so the angrier I got, he feed off that and was even angrier. So we learned to walk away to give us both time to cool off and then get together again, sit down and talk it out without all the screaming and yelling. It was a lot more productive in the long run. This can work for any one.

 

That was sweet of you to call Tay and let him know you wouldn't be at the party, and even sweeter that he came to you when he could have stayed.

 

Jan

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