What do you think of PDA

[AFriendlyFace]

Hey guys,

 

Having read the people's reaction to gay kisses thread in the lounge, I thought it'd be fun to find out everyone's opinion of PDA in general.

 

Personally, I'm completely comfortable with it and think it's great! Regardless of gender, age, race, or anything else I think it's great to see two people who obviously care about each other and it makes me happy to see.

 

Similarly, while I would respect my partner's feelings if he wasn't comfortable with us doing it, I would personally enjoy public displays of affection as much as private ones. I mean I would enjoy them in different ways of course, like the private ones would be more intimate (I'm still just talking about affection here and not sex/pre-sex), but the public ones would be great because they would be affirming our relationship to the rest of the world and showing that my partner wanted to be with me and didn't care who knew it. This reaction might be in part due to being gay; however, I'm pretty sure I would still appreciate my girlfriend sending the same message to the world if I were straight and in a heterosexual relationship.

 

I guess it's part territorial, "He's mine and you can't have him!"; part affirmation, "He cares enough to kiss me in public."; but mostly just, "it's really nice to be spontaneously affectionate as I feel it".

 

Of course as a gay person, I do have to keep in mind safety I suppose. In the city, especially the places I frequent, I feel perfectly safe and the worst that's likely to happen would be a few glares, which I literally probably wouldn't notice, and some rude remarks, which wouldn't particularly bother me. Also, in 'safe' environments, I would actually feel more of a responsibility to interact with my partner as a couple - whether that was simply holding hands, leaning into each other, kissing, whatever, or stuff like paying for each other, talking openly about the routine aspects of our life together, and in general acting like any heterosexual couple. I think it's very important that people of all types (it's good for GLBT as well, IMO) see gay couples in everyday life. If it really does seem like we're everywhere, people get desensitized to it, and even if they don't like it they aren't as surprised and more likely to just put up with it since it's 'inescapable'.

 

For friends and family I also think PDA is great! Pretty much for all the reasons above (minus the 'gay ones' if it's straight people). It's much better than just random strangers though, because this way it's like, "awwww look how happy he/she is" which is great if you care about him/her!

 

 

So what do you guys think?

 

-Kevin

[JamesSavik]

I guess I feel about the same way about PDAs that I feel about nudity: if its a cute young couple I'll be like awe, aren't they cute.

 

If they are like all fat and wallowing on the beach, I'll douse them with seawater and try to roll them back out to sea.

[Krista]

I don't really like public displays of affection for anyone. It's not disgusting - well it can be rather disgusting. PDA though, I think is inappropriate in most places that I usually am. I think the circumstances like say an engagement proposal, romantic birthday party for two, and such allows for people to be more romantic and expressive with kissing, but that should be it. I cannot stand sitting in a computer lab or library or cafeteria and see two people who obviously can't kiss suck face and grope one another right in front of me where I can not only hear their lips smacking together, their tongues swapping spit around, I can see it all too. I've been known to be vocal when I think people take it too far.. it hasn't been welcomed with understanding from the couple I have made comments about.. for the most part. I wouldn't be mean though.

 

I have self control in public places and I would never kiss anyone in a computer lab or indoors in a public place. I won't be all over them either. I just find it annoying. Expansive places like a public park or resort on a beach there is more room for that. People can get away if they don't like what is going on around them, but where space is limited and one has to share it people need to have self-control.

[old bob]

As Kevin said :

I'm completely comfortable with it and think it's great! Regardless of gender, age, race, or anything else I think it's great to see two people who obviously care about each other and it makes me happy to see.

It's also my opinion.

James's words are also mine :

I guess I feel about the same way about PDAs that I feel about nudity: if its a cute young couple I'll be like awe, aren't they cute.

Nothing more to say

[scoopny]

I don't have a cute couple requirement for PDA's , I think they're fine in moderation and appropriate to the location you're at and you don't have to be good-looking in my book to do them. Older couples in fact, are even more adorable, since it suggests they've been together for a really long time.

[AFriendlyFace]

I cannot stand sitting in a computer lab or library or cafeteria and see two people who obviously can't kiss suck face and grope one another right in front of me where I can not only hear their lips smacking together, their tongues swapping spit around, I can see it all too. I've been known to be vocal when I think people take it too far.. it hasn't been welcomed with understanding from the couple I have made comments about.. for the most part. I wouldn't be mean though.

LOL, if you did feel like being mean you could always get up, shove the girl out of the way, blurt out, "Let me show you how this is done!", and give the guy a proper kissing session

 

I guess I feel about the same way about PDAs that I feel about nudity: if its a cute young couple I'll be like awe, aren't they cute.

 

If they are like all fat and wallowing on the beach, I'll douse them with seawater and try to roll them back out to sea.

I don't have a cute couple requirement for PDA's , I think they're fine in moderation and appropriate to the location you're at and you don't have to be good-looking in my book to do them. Older couples in fact, are even more adorable, since it suggests they've been together for a really long time.

I'm more of this opinion. Well of course as I said I'm fine with it happening regardless, but I think it's really cute when older couples are affectionate. On the other hand about a year ago I saw this cute, young gay couple holding hands and leaning on each other and I found that incredibly adorable and sweet. Mostly just because at their young age they'd already figured out what they wanted and found the courage to behave like their heterosexual counterparts. It was sweet, inspirational, brave, and innocent all at the same time.

[Benji]

I'm more of this opinion. Well of course as I said I'm fine with it happening regardless, but I think it's really cute when older couples are affectionate. On the other hand about a year ago I saw this cute, young gay couple holding hands and leaning on each other and I found that incredibly adorable and sweet. Mostly just because at their young age they'd already figured out what they wanted and found the courage to behave like their heterosexual counterparts. It was sweet, inspirational, brave, and innocent all at the same time.

 

..............I'm fine with Kevin's statement above and I don't think of myself as being a prude, but some PDA go to far (get a room) sucking the color off of ones face is not the public display I expect to see at a park, movie theater or restaurant.

[jfalkon]

I don't mind PDA. It can be pleasant if the couple is atractive but as with all things its good only in moderation. If it starts to feel like I'm living inside a chick flick I look away.

[Dion]

I voted the same for all three sections - I think PDAs are great if tastefully done. I like to see couples holding hands or with their arms around one another. What I don't like to see is two people 'sucking face' in public. If nothing else, it's bad manners.

 

Makes me think of those times in school where one student would be sucking on a candy and the teacher asks "Did you bring enough to share with the class?" I mean, really - if you're going to be doing that in public you might as well be inviting strangers into your bedroom. It's just not appropriate.

[Demetz]

The more PDA the better... though i'll admit if there's a good looking guy involved with a girl i'll be a wee bit disappointed.

[Tiger]

The more PDA the better... though i'll admit if there's a good looking guy involved with a girl i'll be a wee bit disappointed.

I agree. PDA is hot but only if it's two guys. Yes Kevin, I am dissenting.

[Lugh]

ok... I think PDA's are fine (for all genders, ages, and combonations thereof) depending on the situation and the intensity of the PDA. Any two people holding hands or giving a QUICK kiss when meeting or parting is fine. Cupping your partner's arse as you walk the mall is a little over the top. Tonsil tag at a club is fine, at the mall is questionable. I think the defining factor to me is simple... who will see? IF it's all teens/adults there is more leeway than if there are small/young children running around. Maybe that's the parent in me.. who knows.

[AFriendlyFace]

Makes me think of those times in school where one student would be sucking on a candy and the teacher asks "Did you bring enough to share with the class?" I mean, really - if you're going to be doing that in public you might as well be inviting strangers into your bedroom. It's just not appropriate.

 

The more PDA the better... though i'll admit if there's a good looking guy involved with a girl i'll be a wee bit disappointed.

But not if he's with another guy?

 

I agree. PDA is hot but only if it's two guys. Yes Kevin, I am dissenting.

 

ok... I think PDA's are fine (for all genders, ages, and combonations thereof) depending on the situation and the intensity of the PDA. Any two people holding hands or giving a QUICK kiss when meeting or parting is fine. Cupping your partner's arse as you walk the mall is a little over the top. Tonsil tag at a club is fine, at the mall is questionable. I think the defining factor to me is simple... who will see? IF it's all teens/adults there is more leeway than if there are small/young children running around. Maybe that's the parent in me.. who knows.

That seems like a good assessment to me.

[Azure Dragon]

What Lugh said. If it's holding hands, a quick kiss, or minor cuddling, that's fine. Grinding and tongue-wrestling are ok at a nightclub. And no I don't care about the age (assuming it's legal), gender, or attractiveness of the couple involved. Love is a beautiful thing regardless of those factors. Though I do feel some extra joy if the couple in question is gay and/or interracial. Either it's solidarity for my own relationship, or the kid in me enjoying the act of rebellion. But in any case, there does reach a point where I'm like "OMG, get a room you superfreaks."

[Razor]

ok... I think PDA's are fine (for all genders, ages, and combonations thereof) depending on the situation and the intensity of the PDA. Any two people holding hands or giving a QUICK kiss when meeting or parting is fine. Cupping your partner's arse as you walk the mall is a little over the top. Tonsil tag at a club is fine, at the mall is questionable. I think the defining factor to me is simple... who will see? IF it's all teens/adults there is more leeway than if there are small/young children running around. Maybe that's the parent in me.. who knows.

 

 

Yep yep yep. Tis all great so long as you're not pulling off clothes in front of kids.

 

Seeing people kiss/hold hands/hug/snuggle makes me warm and fuzzy. If a guy is sporting a tent cause of what's going on, then it's a wee bit much (not that I'd complain cause I like seeing hot guys with tents), but other than that I think that if it happens to "offend" anyone.... they can turn their head or close their damn eyes, lol.

 

Also, I can't have a boyfriend who won't kiss/hug/hold my hand in public. I refuse. I am not a leper, and if I want someone I care for to have a little physical contact with me, then I'm gonna damn well have it. I can understand not wanting to make out in public, but there WILL come times when I want my hand held or a quick kiss.

[Tiger]

Yep yep yep. Tis all great so long as you're not pulling off clothes in front of kids.

 

Seeing people kiss/hold hands/hug/snuggle makes me warm and fuzzy. If a guy is sporting a tent cause of what's going on, then it's a wee bit much (not that I'd complain cause I like seeing hot guys with tents), but other than that I think that if it happens to "offend" anyone.... they can turn their head or close their damn eyes, lol.

 

Also, I can't have a boyfriend who won't kiss/hug/hold my hand in public. I refuse. I am not a leper, and if I want someone I care for to have a little physical contact with me, then I'm gonna damn well have it. I can understand not wanting to make out in public, but there WILL come times when I want my hand held or a quick kiss.

I agree whole-heartedly. Kevvers, I was joking with my earlier post. Jamie, I think it takes a lot of courage for you to take a stance in the deep south and I applaud you. You are truly one in a million. Standing up for what we believe in is the only way to combat those who hate us. You should definitely be proud of yourself on this issue. Anyway, a man would be a damn fool if he didn't want to have contact with you.

[rich_e]

I voted the same for all three sections - I think PDAs are great if tastefully done. I like to see couples holding hands or with their arms around one another. What I don't like to see is two people 'sucking face' in public. If nothing else, it's bad manners.

 

Makes me think of those times in school where one student would be sucking on a candy and the teacher asks "Did you bring enough to share with the class?" I mean, really - if you're going to be doing that in public you might as well be inviting strangers into your bedroom. It's just not appropriate.

 

These are my thoughts on this. The key word is tastefully. It can be quite cute in moderation.

[S.L. Lewis]

I'm going to have to agree with a few of these. As long as they're not shoving their tongues down each other's throats or something like that, I don't have a problem. Just don't do it when you're hanging out with me. I end up feeling like a third wheel and will dump the nearest liquid, hot or cold, over your heads.

 

Personally, I like holding hands in public and maybe peeks, but nothing major. I'll kiss in an alley, where we can hide from people, but other then that, no...

[Razor]

I agree whole-heartedly. Kevvers, I was joking with my earlier post. Jamie, I think it takes a lot of courage for you to take a stance in the deep south and I applaud you. You are truly one in a million. Standing up for what we believe in is the only way to combat those who hate us. You should definitely be proud of yourself on this issue. Anyway, a man would be a damn fool if he didn't want to have contact with you.

 

 

You know, it's really not that terrible here. I'm in a bastion of gayness here at USM. For some reason, all the freaking gays in Mississippi end up here, no idea why. It's actually quite happy... not the hardcore Jesus-freak, ennui-inducing, closet-door-gluing-shutting kinda vibe that's up in North MS. The closer you are to a good sized city, the better off you are.

 

I will say, though, that the older generations are still giving us problems. Sounds mean, but jeez, would the over-fifty fundamentalist crowd DIE already?!?!?

[GaryK]

[...]

I will say, though, that the older generations are still giving us problems. Sounds mean, but jeez, would the over-fifty fundamentalist crowd DIE already?!?!?

They'll die eventually, Jamie. Hopefully they'll be replaced with more enlightened people. That process will need to be repeated several times before we're truly accepted and not just tolerated. I see the same thing happening with African-Americans. We had hundreds of years of slavery in this country and thus lots of time for people to feel the way they do about blacks. It's gonna take just as long for attitudes to completely change about blacks. You can't expect society as a whole to change overnight.

 

In the meantime keep up your tasteful PDAs. It'll help show everyone that we're human and have emotions just like they do and maybe change a few opinions in the process.

[NickolasJames8]

I think PDA's are ok...I prefer my Blackberry over other kinds, but I know some people who use the IPhone instead.

 

Sorry, I couldn't help myself. No, I think dispalys of affection out in public are fine, as long as they're genuine. I mean, really, there's nothing tackier than the straight or gay couple who can't keep their hands and tongues to themselves for five minutes because for some odd reason, they think others want to see them make out.

On the other hand, a heartfelt kiss on the lips between partners just because the moment was right is very sweet, and nothing I have a problem with.

[GaryK]

I think PDA's are ok...I prefer my Blackberry over other kinds, but I know some people who use the IPhone instead.

I love your sense of humor, Nick.

[AFriendlyFace]

I think PDA's are ok...I prefer my Blackberry over other kinds, but I know some people who use the IPhone instead.

 

On the other hand, a heartfelt kiss on the lips between partners just because the moment was right is very sweet, and nothing I have a problem with.

Good point.

[old bob]

..... I think dispalys of affection out in public are fine, as long as they're genuine. I mean, really, there's nothing tackier than the straight or gay couple who can't keep their hands and tongues to themselves for five minutes because for some odd reason, they think others want to see them make out.

On the other hand, a heartfelt kiss on the lips between partners just because the moment was right is very sweet, and nothing I have a problem with.

Today is a great day .

I fully agree with Nick ( if i remember well, it's the first time) .

And rich'e words are also mine : "The key word is tastefully. It can be quite cute in moderation."

Nothing else to say.

Old bob

[Tiger]

You know, it's really not that terrible here. I'm in a bastion of gayness here at USM. For some reason, all the freaking gays in Mississippi end up here, no idea why. It's actually quite happy... not the hardcore Jesus-freak, ennui-inducing, closet-door-gluing-shutting kinda vibe that's up in North MS. The closer you are to a good sized city, the better off you are.

 

I will say, though, that the older generations are still giving us problems. Sounds mean, but jeez, would the over-fifty fundamentalist crowd DIE already?!?!?

Well, it's similar here in Kansas. It's easy to get away with in college towns, but people in this town would probably kill me (and I mean literally) if I kissed a guy in public. I simply must get out of this closed-minded area.

 

I think PDA's are ok...I prefer my Blackberry over other kinds, but I know some people who use the IPhone instead.