Financially unstable need advice!

[x Trevor x]

Okay so my situation is basically that we have hardly any money at all. My boyfriend is the only one in the house with a job and I cant get one because for some unknown reason every employer tells me "no" and my boyfriend only gets about 20 hours a week only gets paid minimum wage, hes a delivery driver to and only brings home like 16 dollars a night and sometimes doesnt even bring that much home not to mention he gets robbed half the time. We have a 75 dollar phone bill 46 dollar cable bill 80 dollar light bill a 38 dollar gas bill and a 50 dollar water bill not to mention we have to pay off this computer we got from aarons and pay 50 dollars a week for our tv that we got from rent a center thank god we get food stamps cause we dont have the money for food. I know theres alot I could cut out but god...I cant afford to go out so I have to have something to do at home! I mean if I give up the phone computer tv and cable what do I have to do? Stare at the wall?! I need some advice

[GaryK]

Welcome to GA.

 

First bit of advice is ditch the TV. That's an absurd rate to pay for a rental TV and you can't afford it.

 

Next I have to ask if you've really thought about why you can't get a job. What skills do you have? What kind of education do you have? Do you have good hygiene? What's your personal appearance like? I mean, are you full of tats and piercings?

 

I guess the same questions apply to your bf.

[Meeko]

Welcome to GA!

 

Gary made some good points, what kind of jobs are you going out for? A lot of times you have to start low and work your way up?

 

-Mike

[Graeme]

Welcome

 

I understand how you feel, but there are ways you can entertain yourself without TV and cable. There are many hobbies, for example, that can keep you occupied and are considerably cheaper that what you're currently paying to be entertained. The local library, if it's not too far away, will give you a lot of options, too.

 

As for employment, you're going to have to keep trying. I know it can be difficult, but try asking the next few employers who turn you down why, and ask what you can do to improve your chances if any position opens up in the future. The mere fact that you ask that will typically raise you in an prospective employer's eyes, because it shows that you're willing to improve.

 

Good luck! No one is going to pretend that it's going to be easy, but you will need to save up and that means sacrifices. You need to eliminate all unnecessary debts, and potentially spend money on some skills to improve your employment options. That's going to take some discipline to do....

[Drewbie]

Welcome Falling star.

What kind of places have you appiled for? did both of you tried a grocery store?

 

Or an office type job? Also try to go to a temp agency.

 

 

if you have tats in a place, cover it, if it's coverable.

Edited June 21, 2008 by Drewbie

[old bob]

Welcome Falling Star

You got already 5 answers, all with a lot of questions.

If you want a real advice, you have to tell you more about yourself.

Just a few more questions, in disorder (just for a beginning):

Where do you live? In a small town, in suburbs, on country?

Do you rent a flat or stay at home?

The expenses you cite are all entertainment expenses. What else do you have to pay?

What kind of job did you try to get?

You are 19. Did you go to High school? What did you learn?

Any hobby which could be useful to get a job?

Any friends elder than you, who could perhaps help?

You said you have a boyfriend. Did you already come out to others?

Any contact with gay organizations?

What do you mean qualifying yourself as

[AFriendlyFace]

I'll agree with everyone else's comments and suggestions. However, I'll add my own.

 

Okay so my situation is basically that we have hardly any money at all. My boyfriend is the only one in the house with a job

Like Old Bob this made me ask, "who else lives in the house?"

 

and I cant get one because for some unknown reason every employer tells me "no"

Well you need to figure out this 'unknown reasons' and do something about it!

 

Here's a few tips:

-Be clean-shaven and have tidy hair and nails when you go to an interview.

-Make sure your breath is pleasant and that your teeth clean

-SMILE and maintain good (but not creepy) eye-contact

-Behave confidently but also very politely

-Be friendly

-Have answers to the more common questions 'planned out' to some degree.

-Dress professionally (not what you would wear if you were hanging out at home or visiting friends)

-Market yourself! Be enthusiastic and excited about your skills! Talk yourself up without sounding like you're bragging.

-Be interested in the job and even the potential employer! Ask questions. React positively to what he/she tells you. Seem interested and excited about the job, the opportunity, and the people you would be working with.

-Emphasis your willingness and eagerness to learn and adapt. I.E. "I know I've never done X before, but I learn very quickly and this is something I've wanted to try out since I was a kid. I feel like this is a good/interesting/useful thing to be doing, and I'm really looking forward to trying it out!"

 

 

Also, do not give up! Don't go on one or two job interviews a week and think 'I can't find a job', make it a point to apply and interview for at least one or two places a day.

 

and my boyfriend only gets about 20 hours a week only gets paid minimum wage,

Can he ask for more hours?

 

hes a delivery driver to and only brings home like 16 dollars a night and sometimes doesnt even bring that much home not to mention he gets robbed half the time.

Geez! If he's getting robbed half the time he might want to look for a new job as well!

 

 

We have a 75 dollar phone bill 46 dollar cable bill 80 dollar light bill a 38 dollar gas bill and a 50 dollar water bill not to mention we have to pay off this computer we got from aarons and pay 50 dollars a week for our tv that we got from rent a center thank god we get food stamps cause we dont have the money for food. I know theres alot I could cut out but god...I cant afford to go out so I have to have something to do at home! I mean if I give up the phone computer tv and cable what do I have to do? Stare at the wall?! I need some advice

What about rent/housing?

 

I agree that the most expendable thing is the TV. I mean geez, 50 dollars a WEEK? I don't watch TV so I don't really know, but it seems like you could BUY a TV outright for 50 bucks, or at least a 100 or 150 (so send it back now, do without it for two or three weeks, save that money, then go and buy one). It may not be the nicest, flat-screen, giant, Hi-Def. type, but just buy a cheap TV for now and when your situation gets better you can upgrade then.

 

 

Good luck, dude,

Kevin

[GaryK]

I agree that the most expendable thing is the TV. I mean geez, 50 dollars a WEEK? I don't watch TV so I don't really know, but it seems like you could BUY a TV outright for 50 bucks, or at least a 100 or 150 (so send it back now, do without it for two or three weeks, save that money, then go and buy one). It may not be the nicest, flat-screen, giant, Hi-Def. type, but just buy a cheap TV for now and when your situation gets better you can upgrade then.

Kev, BestBuy has a 20" digital TV for three weeks worth of payments on the rental.

[x Trevor x]

Welcome to GA.

 

First bit of advice is ditch the TV. That's an absurd rate to pay for a rental TV and you can't afford it.

 

Next I have to ask if you've really thought about why you can't get a job. What skills do you have? What kind of education do you have? Do you have good hygiene? What's your personal appearance like? I mean, are you full of tats and piercings?

 

I guess the same questions apply to your bf.

 

I dont know why I cant get a job I cant even get an interview. I'm clean I always dress decent as I'm very picky about that sort of thing and nope no tats or peircings. I just get the application fill it out give it to an employer they dont act at all interested in me and just walk off with a simple "we'll call" then they never call and I call back several times only to be given excuses like "he's not here" or "not enough room" or some excuse which I could believe that was true if it only happened to a few places but I know that some place HAS to have room. As far as education goes I dropped out at 10th grade which I know that was dumb but I wasnt eligible for no more than a certificate at graduation anyway and I would go back to school but I just dont have the time or the money for it.

 

 

Welcome to GA!

 

Gary made some good points, what kind of jobs are you going out for? A lot of times you have to start low and work your way up?

 

-Mike

 

The only ones I'm eligible for food places and grocery stores.

 

 

 

 

Welcome Falling star.

What kind of places have you appiled for? did both of you tried a grocery store?

 

Or an office type job? Also try to go to a temp agency.

 

 

if you have tats in a place, cover it, if it's coverable.

 

I would love an office job I'm good at computers ofcourse I dont have a peice of paper that says I'm good at computers but I am

 

 

Welcome Falling Star

You got already 5 answers, all with a lot of questions.

If you want a real advice, you have to tell you more about yourself.

Just a few more questions, in disorder (just for a beginning):

Where do you live? In a small town, in suburbs, on country?

Do you rent a flat or stay at home?

The expenses you cite are all entertainment expenses. What else do you have to pay?

What kind of job did you try to get?

You are 19. Did you go to High school? What did you learn?

Any hobby which could be useful to get a job?

Any friends elder than you, who could perhaps help?

You said you have a boyfriend. Did you already come out to others?

Any contact with gay organizations?

What do you mean qualifying yourself as "unstable"? Was your former financial situation once "stable"?

Did you once try to make an expenses budget?

How old is your boyfriend?

Since when are you together?

Does he know about your post?

Your boyfriend is the only one in the house with a job. Who else lives in the house?

You can't get one because for some unknown reason every employer tells you "no". Was the answer "no" written or during an interview?

How did you come to GA and what do you expect from us ?

I'm sure we can help, but we need more to do it.

take your time, explain more of your situation. If you are too shy to do it in a post, send a PM.

old Bob

 

small town

rent low income

185 rent 80 lights 38 gas and 50 water

 

I'm good at computers

 

No friends that could help

We have only come out to close friends we're not publicly open

 

Only the two of us live in the house and we had a pretty good budget a while ago. He use to bring home like 430 dollars every two weeks which was enough to pay everything save back some and then have a little left to go out and have fun but then he got a new manager they cut him back to 15 hours a week so he left them and got two jobs ones giving him 20 hours a week and the other is giving him well he only works at the other one for one day this week so that's not very good I honestly dont know what the money situation is going to be like now. My grandmother helps out when she can and so does his grandmother but they can only do so much. His moms been helping us pay for the tv for the last couple of weeks and now we're due to pay it again and since we dont have enough money my boyfriend is going to call and make me a refferal and I'll get a five dollar lamp so we can get the tv free this week then I'll return the lamp. We have a few people that will help but they can only do so much my grandmother cant spare anymore than two hundred a month but I hardly ever ask her for money unless it's extremely important and his grandmother cant help no more than 60 because her check is a lot less than what my grandmothers is and his mom she can help pretty good but her job is kind of long distance so most of her money goes in gas. My boyfriends dad is pretty loaded in money he's a rich guy the only problem with him is he is a strong believer of not helping people. He thinks everyone is suppose to make it on there own all the time and never ask for help from anyone but sometimes he pisses me off. He paid for my boyfriends brother to go to the beach on vacation yet he cant give us money to get our car air conditioner fixed?

Edited June 21, 2008 by Falling Star

[GaryK]

The lack of a high school diploma can be a severe limiting factor when it comes to getting a job. My advice is get rid of the TV, spend that money on getting your GED, and then your prospects for employment will probably improve.

 

What about a job at a place like McDonald's or any of the fast-food places? They are always looking for employees. It's not glamorous work but it helps pay the bills.

 

Please define what you mean by being good with computers. I've been in the computer business since 1973. Apart from an A+ certification I can tell you that a piece of paper is meaningless. I want someone with experience that I don't have to spend a lot of time training. Someone who can relate well to the end-user if that's what the job involves.

Edited June 21, 2008 by GaryK

[x Trevor x]

The lack of a high school diploma can be a severe limiting factor when it comes to getting a job. My advice is get rid of the TV, spend that money on getting your GED, and then your prospects for employment will probably improve.

 

What about a job at a place like McDonald's or any of the fast-food places? They are always looking for employees. It's not glamorous work but it helps pay the bills.

 

Please define what you mean by being good with computers. I've been in the computer business since 1973. Apart from an A+ certification I can tell you that a piece of paper is meaningless. I want someone with experience that I don't have to spend a lot of time training. Someone who can relate well to the end-user if that's what the job involves.

 

I have tried fast food places and got the same results at every place I went. Hell I even applied at a hotel and the hiring manager wouldnt even come out of his office to see me but like I said I'm good at computers I know how to fix minor problems. I'm no expert by any means but I think I have enough knowledge to handle a desk job maybe a secretary job or something like that.

[Drewbie]

Best thing is to go back to get a ged.

 

And trust me I know it's hard to find a job at the moment but don't give up.

 

Edited June 21, 2008 by Drewbie

[x Trevor x]

Best thing is to go back to get a ged.

 

And trust me I know it's hard to find a job at the moment but don't give up.

 

 

I know thats the best thing to do but honestly I dont have time to do it I mean who knows how long that would take and I really need a job now because it's honestly bothering me always wondering if I'm going to lose everything tommorrow. I've joined an agency who is free and suppose to help find jobs and I have to go see the woman this comming thursday so I am hoping that will help I just want to be able to enjoy life again because I know there is so much more than this and I want to expierence everything I can. Even want to travel some I've always had big dreams of what my life would turn out to be like and what I wanted to do and at this point I've been dissappointed with the world and with life it's self but I've always been the type of person to get dissappointed. I'm always having big dreams and getting my hopes up about things and I'm always let down. I just want my life to be more than sitting at home everyday. I want to travel and see the world and do big things and I just wish things could be easy for once because it seems like everything is one challenge after the other.

[GaryK]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but life is a series of challenges. It's all in how you deal with those challenges that determines how happy and successful you'll be in life. Having a defeatist attitude like you do isn't any help. Things like that show themselves to potential employers. Negative vibes and all that crap.

 

There are no easy answers to your problems. A GED is a must. You've got to find a way to get one.

 

Living in a small town I'm sure reduces the number of jobs that are available.

 

Is the town small enough that word of you being gay has gotten out and you're being ostracized for that?

[Rakuten06]

Okay, then I can leave you two words of advice: "Press On" means no matter what, you must press on and something good will happen to you. Don't give up, okay? All of us will try to offer support and help you with advice, how-to-do, and stuff...

[myself_i_must_remake]

if you have time to watch TV, you have time to get a GED

 

having said that, the job market is rough right now. if you want to make it on your own you are going to have to cut down.

 

do you smoke? that could be the first thing to go.

 

I'm always having big dreams and getting my hopes up about things and I'm always let down

 

you make it sound like things are out of your control but you said you dropped out of high school which sounds like your decision. i'm sure there were other factors, but i'm also sure children in worse circumstances have made it through.

 

i hope you and your boyfriend get along well. with everything you have against you, you need some kind of pillar.

[x Trevor x]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but life is a series of challenges. It's all in how you deal with those challenges that determines how happy and successful you'll be in life. Having a defeatist attitude like you do isn't any help. Things like that show themselves to potential employers. Negative vibes and all that crap.

 

There are no easy answers to your problems. A GED is a must. You've got to find a way to get one.

 

Living in a small town I'm sure reduces the number of jobs that are available.

 

Is the town small enough that word of you being gay has gotten out and you're being ostracized for that?

 

It's actually labeled a city rather than a town but its not that big but it's not small enough to the point where everyone knows everyone. I dont hardly talk to people that I dont know so I dont think strangers know I'm gay unless they can tell by just looking at me. I'm a bit on the feminine side I mean I'm not some macho big guy or anything like that but I'm not so bad to the point where I cross dress or wear make up or anything like that either. I'm kind of inbetween but lean more femminine

 

 

if you have time to watch TV, you have time to get a GED

 

having said that, the job market is rough right now. if you want to make it on your own you are going to have to cut down.

 

do you smoke? that could be the first thing to go.

 

 

 

you make it sound like things are out of your control but you said you dropped out of high school which sounds like your decision. i'm sure there were other factors, but i'm also sure children in worse circumstances have made it through.

 

i hope you and your boyfriend get along well. with everything you have against you, you need some kind of pillar.

 

Well it's not that I dont have time to get a GED because I do I have nothing but free time but what I mean is that I need to be using my free time to work instead of getting the GED because a job will bring me money where as a GED wont. What I'm wanting to do is get a job save up enough money to hold me over for a while and then work on the GED that way I'll financially be alright while I work on my education to get a better job then I can help pay a bill or two a month then take the rest of my money and put it away and not touch it. and...not to sound dumb or anything but what do you mean some kind of pillar? lmao

[JamesSavik]

Listen to lesfeuxdemoncoeur: he is as smart as he is cute which is quite the rare combination. Someone should scoop him up before he gets away.

 

 

Falling Star:

 

Believe me- I know that being gay and going to high school are loads of fun. A lot of GLBT kids drop out because it is a real rough ride. You really do need a diploma or a GED to get any kind of job.

 

I know that where you are now, it seems like everything is uphill. It is. The only way out is to pick a route and keep going. Try not to get negative and create excuses for why you can't get things done. You can get things done- just don't quit!

 

You can.

 

Your posts have been clear with reasonably good spelling and English. You can easily handle a computer. Your brain obviously isn't broken- you should easily be able to handle getting a GED. You might want to get a study guide but many GED programs will provide one.

 

If not, I will buy you one on Amazon and send it to you.

 

Accomplishing your goals starts with believing in yourself and your ability.

 

That often starts with someone else telling you: believe in you.

[GaryK]

Listen to lesfeuxdemoncoeur: he is as smart as he is cute which is quite the rare combination. Someone should scoop him up before he gets away.

 

 

Falling Star:

 

Believe me- I know that being gay and going to high school are loads of fun. A lot of GLBT kids drop out because it is a real rough ride. You really do need a diploma or a GED to get any kind of job.

 

I know that where you are now, it seems like everything is uphill. It is. The only way out is to pick a route and keep going. Try not to get negative and create excuses for why you can't get things done. You can get things done- just don't quit!

 

You can.

 

Your posts have been clear with reasonably good spelling and English. You can easily handle a computer. Your brain obviously isn't broken- you should easily be able to handle getting a GED. You might want to get a study guide but many GED programs will provide one.

 

If not, I will buy you one on Amazon and send it to you.

 

Accomplishing your goals starts with believing in yourself and your ability.

 

That often starts with someone else telling you: believe in you.

Don't worry about Billy, James. The right guy will see him one day and that'll be the end of the singles scene for Billy.

 

I have a lot of respect for James. I've never seen him make an offer like the one he just did. That inspires me to join him in helping you get your GED. If the program doesn't provide the study guide(s) you need let James buy you the books. I'll cover whatever expenses are involved in the course itself including taking the exams. Please don't pass out from shock. That's just the kind of people we are here at GA.

 

Once you have your GED you'll be in a much better position to seek a job that you're well suited for. And we here will have the satisfaction of knowing we've helped one more gay teen deal with all the shit that life can throw at you! That's the only payback we need.

 

ADDED: Don't forget what I think was the single most important part of what James told you: Accomplishing your goals starts with believing in yourself and your ability.

Edited June 21, 2008 by GaryK

[Lugh]

two words -- JOB CORP

 

they will help you get your GED, train you in a trade (computers is one of them) and give you a place to live and food to eat while doing it.

 

Might not be perfect, but it's a choice.

[GaryK]

two words -- JOB CORP

 

they will help you get your GED, train you in a trade (computers is one of them) and give you a place to live and food to eat while doing it.

 

Might not be perfect, but it's a choice.

Lugh, I'm quite familiar with Job Corps through the foster parenting I do. It's a great suggestion. The only downside is he'd have to live apart from his boyfriend while he's in training. They are really strict about following the rules and will kick you out for even the smallest infraction. But it's certainly a viable alternative if he's willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead.

 

EDIT: Added link.

Edited June 21, 2008 by GaryK

[x Trevor x]

Listen to lesfeuxdemoncoeur: he is as smart as he is cute which is quite the rare combination. Someone should scoop him up before he gets away.

 

 

Falling Star:

 

Believe me- I know that being gay and going to high school are loads of fun. A lot of GLBT kids drop out because it is a real rough ride. You really do need a diploma or a GED to get any kind of job.

 

I know that where you are now, it seems like everything is uphill. It is. The only way out is to pick a route and keep going. Try not to get negative and create excuses for why you can't get things done. You can get things done- just don't quit!

 

You can.

 

Your posts have been clear with reasonably good spelling and English. You can easily handle a computer. Your brain obviously isn't broken- you should easily be able to handle getting a GED. You might want to get a study guide but many GED programs will provide one.

 

If not, I will buy you one on Amazon and send it to you.

 

Accomplishing your goals starts with believing in yourself and your ability.

 

That often starts with someone else telling you: believe in you.

 

 

Don't worry about Billy, James. The right guy will see him one day and that'll be the end of the singles scene for Billy.

 

I have a lot of respect for James. I've never seen him make an offer like the one he just did. That inspires me to join him in helping you get your GED. If the program doesn't provide the study guide(s) you need let James buy you the books. I'll cover whatever expenses are involved in the course itself including taking the exams. Please don't pass out from shock. That's just the kind of people we are here at GA.

 

Once you have your GED you'll be in a much better position to seek a job that you're well suited for. And we here will have the satisfaction of knowing we've helped one more gay teen deal with all the shit that life can throw at you! That's the only payback we need.

 

ADDED: Don't forget what I think was the single most important part of what James told you: Accomplishing your goals starts with believing in yourself and your ability.

 

Wow...that's one of the most generous things anyone has ever done for me. I honestly dont know what to say I'm a bit overwhelmed...I didnt pass out but I got a little light headed lmao! Guys thats really generous though I'd honestly feel guilty if you both did that for me when you dont even really know me good yet it's really generous and I'd feel so guilty. I'll start looking for some programs however if you both insist on doing it but I dont really like to take free offers so...if we go through with this then you both sure will get paid back for it I'd feel way to guilty if I didnt...wow really overwhelmed lmao!

[GaryK]

Wow...that's one of the most generous things anyone has ever done for me. I honestly dont know what to say I'm a bit overwhelmed...I didnt pass out but I got a little light headed lmao! Guys thats really generous though I'd honestly feel guilty if you both did that for me when you dont even really know me good yet it's really generous and I'd feel so guilty. I'll start looking for some programs however if you both insist on doing it but I dont really like to take free offers so...if we go through with this then you both sure will get paid back for it I'd feel way to guilty if I didnt...wow really overwhelmed lmao!

I can only speak for myself, but I suspect you'll find this helping attitude prevalent amongst GA members.

 

You don't need to say anything. Just get your ass in gear and find out how to get your GED.

 

My payback will be seeing a copy of your first decent paycheck from a stable job.

 

Look at it this way. I've had a long and successful life. I've always enjoyed helping kids. You won't be the first or the last young man I help. I'm about to put a young man through college. I sort of feel like I have an obligation to help out when I can, and I'm glad I can do so.

 

It really doesn't matter to me how well I know you. All I need to know is you're young, in need of some help to get you to a point where you can stand on your own, and whatever I can do within reason to facilitate that is worth it to me.

[Masked Monkey]

While I agree with James and Gary about the importance of getting your GED, I agree that it is a "longer" term goal. Persuing a GED is not going to put food on the table or keep the lights on tomorrow. For that, all you can do is keep cutting back and keep trying to find a job.

 

I am curious if you are trying to talk to these managers before or after turning in your applications. It is better, in general, to talk to them first. Let then get to know you, even if it is a 1 minute conversation, if you come across as a very polite young man you might leave an impression on them that will remain while they read the application. Be sure to say your name clearly when you talk to them and thank them for their time. Unless the app is electronic, try to turn it in directly to the person you talked to and preferably the next day at the latest.

 

I should add that I saw an interesting commerical from the Govenor of Virginia. It seems as though the Commonwealth in collaboration with Cox (better known as Cocks to those of us who have ever been stuck with it) and Comcast have started putting GED training programs in their "On Demand" area. I don't know where you are, but I have discovered that the best way to find something is to actually start looking for it.

[GaryK]

I should add that I saw an interesting commerical from the Govenor of Virginia. It seems as though the Commonwealth in collaboration with Cox (better known as Cocks to those of us who have ever been stuck with it) and Comcast have started putting GED training programs in their "On Demand" area. I don't know where you are, but I have discovered that the best way to find something is to actually start looking for it.

Snowy makes a good point about things you can do in the short term.

 

Take a look at all the free resources on Google to help prepare for your GED.