Boyfriend Material Qualities ?

[Andy2008]

It's 3h30 AM and i can't sleep !!! I just want to do something to light up !

 

What your boyfriend qualities ?

What's kind of the body ? Tall , fit , muscal ... What's his personality : Smart , funny , clumsy (me !!! ) ... Do you like your boyfriend is rich , has a car ? And about the sexual things too : Big cock , shoot far ...?

 

And one small question ? What's really got you into the guys at the first sight ?

 

Please , post reply and keep me alive .

 

Thanks .

[DragonFire]

Mmmmm. Blond for a start! I know that seems really clich

[AFriendlyFace]

Well, let's see, most of this is negotiable, but if we're just describing our 'perfect guy' I'll play along.

 

He would probably be about 5'7'' or 5'8'', a little taller or shorter is okay, but my preference would be for under 6'

 

He'd have a slender to toned sort of build.

 

I tend to go for two main 'types' Blonds/red heads and Asians. Any race/complexion type is okay though, but those tend to be the ones I go for the most.

 

I definitely prefer smooth.

 

I generally prefer him to have medium to longer hair, generally not as long as shoulder length. Bangs are usually preferable, but if he has a cute hairstyle without bangs that's okay too.

 

If he's white I do prefer blue eyes or green eyes (obviously I don't expect that if he's Asian, black, or Hispanic).

 

Lately I've also been really attracted to guys with nice fingers, hands, toes, feet. I guess in order to have this they need to be neatly trimmed, hair free, and fairly slender without being bony.

 

I like a nice set of lips too. I'm not overly picky here, but if they're a bit full and pouty that's pretty cute. A great smile is very important! I want it to light up his whole face. Nice teeth are obviously quite preferable too. Generally the whiter and brighter the better. Also, generally the straighter the better; however, I've known several attractive guys whose appearance seemed inexplicably enhanced by slightly crooked, non-perfect teeth.

 

A cute nose is nice too. What makes a cute nose? Well generally not too big, long, or crooked. It should primarily 'fit with the face' though.

 

As far as equipment (and let me remind everyone not to get graphic and to leave very sexual comments out of the discussion) I really don't care very much.

 

I do like a perky butt and really tight, firm abs though

 

Personality wise he should have a good sense of humour that isn't hurtful or offensive. Witty and sarcastic is fine, desirable even, but he mustn't be mean with it (unless there's a good reason, like if the other person is already being a major prick).

 

He should be very intelligent, intellectually curious, a quick learner, and ideally at least fairly knowledgeable in a number of areas. He should not however be a know-it-all or behave in an arrogant or condescending way. He should be obviously intelligent, but not flaunt it or make other people feel intimidated by it.

 

He should be very independent but pleasantly social as well. He should be just fine and happy spending time by himself, spending time alone with me, spending time with one or two other people, or being in large, group settings or party/club type environments. I don't want to feel like I have to 'entertain' him or worry that he's nervous or uneasy.

 

I want a very equal dynamic between us in pretty much every way and I very much want to avoid one of us always taking the lead or always being submissive. In general I want a very 'versatile' relationship in every sense of the word.

 

In terms of hobbies and interests I want there to be enough common ground for us to interact a bit here, but I think it's fine, or even desirable if we each have a lot of our own interests that the other person isn't especially involved with. I do think it would be nice to have a few random ones more or less in common though. For example if we both enjoyed reading things relating to the same topics that would be nice because it would be fun to discuss and debate them. Or if we both enjoyed going hiking that would be nice because we could do it together. In general, I think it's good for both people to have their own interests, but I think there should be enough common ground to facilitate stimulating, enjoyable conversation and shared activities that both he and I enjoy.

 

First and foremost we would be able to have good conversations and communicate directly and effectively about our thoughts and feelings.

 

I would like him to care about and be involved in gay culture and gay issues though. That does not mean I expect him to spend all of his time in a gay bar or carrying a picket sign, but I would like him to be comfortable socializing with GLBT people and be aware of and care about things which impact us. I would also like him to, at least from time to time, watch gay themed movies with me, or read and discuss gay related articles with me. As I said, I think it's good for us to have our own interests and activities, but this would be something where I'd need him to at least make the occasional effort and be legitimately interested.

 

He should be a very kind, caring person and he should have a strong sense of personal values and morals. Ideally one which he's thought about and developed independent of religion or social/civil/legal rules. Obviously I expect a great deal of overlap, but what I want to avoid is being with someone who just takes these things at face value.

 

In terms of religion and spirituality I don't really care at all. However, it would be nice if he had some sense of spirituality in his life, was at least fairly knowledgeable (or willing to learn) about the major religions and spiritual movements, and first and foremost if he were very tolerant and open-minded of other people's beliefs.

 

In terms of education I'd prefer him to have, or be pursuing, some degree in higher education. However, if he were intelligent and learned in general not having the physical degree wouldn't particularly matter to me.

 

In terms of career/job I don't really care as long as he's happy and not doing something I consider harmful to society or himself. I would also definitely want him to be doing something which he actively enjoyed or felt good about doing versus something he thought he 'should' do for whatever reason (parental/social pressure, or because it's financially lucrative for example). Regardless of what it is I'd like him to come home and want to discuss it and not only complain about it. I mean it's fine and good if he can vent about it, but if it isn't something he's ultimately excited or happy about doing, something which he can't say, "overall, this is a good job for me." Then I'd prefer him to find something else.

 

It would be better if I didn't have to financially support him (which sort of goes back to the equal dynamics thing), but depending on the circumstances I'd probably be willing to. On the flip side, I don't want him to have to financially support me either, but if he had a lot of money and we could have whatever we wanted, that'd be cool.

 

 

Anyway, I don't expect perfection, but since I took this thread to more or less be about describing our perfect partner, that's a brief look at what mine would be like.

 

Take care all

Kevin

Edited April 11, 2009 by AFriendlyFace

[Ieshwar]

Ok, I'll tell you guys a bit about my dream boy.

 

I love dark hair, though I don't mind other colours. He should be tall, preferably taller than a me (by a bit) but a bit short works also. He should not be heavily-built. I like lean guys. Eyes... no preference. I prefer white and Indian-origin guys but of course, this is not a necessity. Equipment wise, as long as he knows what to do with it, I'm fine! Btw, he shouldn't be boring on bed (now, that's bad)

 

Personality-wise, he should be mature with the right words when I'm feeling down. He has a nice sense of humour. He should be polite. He should be faithful (that's a must, of course). Intelligent enough for us to talk about issues.

 

And he should love me like crazy!!

 

And another important one: he should be gay! Or atleast bi.

 

I wish this was the instructions details for some manufacturing company and in two months, we would have had our perfect guy standing in front of our door. Life would have been so cool...

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

[Myk]

The perfect boyfriend (or girlfriend) is the one you fall in love with, not any preconceived visions you may have. Just be open to love or it may just pass you by.

 

I fully understand no one wants to be with a 'jerk' or anything, but if I stuck by any hard rules, I wouldn't be so happy now

[Andy2008]

And he should love me like crazy!!

 

That's importance thing

 

And another important one: he should be gay! Or atleast bi.

 

Sure he is , i don't like bi though !!!

Edited April 12, 2009 by Andy2008

[Andy2008]

He would probably be about 5'7'' or 5'8'', a little taller or shorter is okay, but my preference would be for under 6'

I'm 5'6 , is that's ok ?

 

He'd have a slender to toned sort of build.

Yes, i am .

 

I definitely prefer smooth

.

I'm smooth !!!

 

I generally prefer him to have medium to longer hair, generally not as long as shoulder length. Bangs are usually preferable, but if he has a cute hairstyle without bangs that's okay too.

I'm short hair !!!

 

I like a nice set of lips too. I'm not overly picky here, but if they're a bit full and pouty that's pretty cute. A great smile is very important! I want it to light up his whole face...

I think , i am .

 

A cute nose is nice too. What makes a cute nose? Well generally not too big, long, or crooked. It should primarily 'fit with the face' though.

My nose kindda big, bit i think its go perfect with my face .

 

I do like a perky butt and really tight, firm abs though

i need more work out .

 

He should be very intelligent, intellectually curious, a quick learner, and ideally at least fairly knowledgeable in a number of areas. He should not however be a know-it-all or behave in an arrogant or condescending way. He should be obviously intelligent, but not flaunt it or make other people feel intimidated by it.

 

...

 

Why are you had alot of hight standard

Edited April 12, 2009 by Andy2008

[Andy2008]

Btw , i really don't care what's colour of his eye , what's race his is or how's tall my boyfriend is ... That's not really importance to me , but these things is a must :

 

Smart. Not so super smart but not dumb as hell gawd.

Cute, not so ugly, not so handsome either.

Funny, can make me smile when i'm super sad.

Not so thin, not so beefy, just right, someone i can hug tight.

Love animal ( dog )

Does not smoke, drinks occasionally [or at parties only] is fine

Will not hurt me.

Loves music and Britney Spears

Love me for who's i am .

Love me , take care of me and think about me all the time .

Love me

Love me

Love me ... X100

Edited April 12, 2009 by Andy2008

[old bob]

Btw , i really don't care what's colour of his eye , what's race his is or how's tall my boyfriend is ... That's not really importance to me , but these things is a must :

...........

Love me for who's i am .

Love me , take care of me and think about me all the time .

Love me

Love me

Love me ... X100

Funny, I would I should be 20 again .

When you get older, you will learn and experience that real love has nothing to do with your wishes

Its like a lightning, it strikes you what ever who the other is. The real must is not what he cares about you, but what you care about him. .

Have you ever heard about Cupidon's arrows ?

[Sir Galahad]

One with a pulse generally helps!

Edited April 12, 2009 by Sir Galahad

[Drewbie]

The perfect boyfriend (or girlfriend) is the one you fall in love with, not any preconceived visions you may have. Just be open to love or it may just pass you by.

 

I fully understand no one wants to be with a 'jerk' or anything, but if I stuck by any hard rules, I wouldn't be so happy now

 

Agree's

[Myk]

Sure he is , i don't like bi though !!!

 

 

I wouldn't want to be with someone who felt this way...but your happiness is your own responsibility. You are allowed to be as racist, shallow, vain, money grubbing, biased and stupid as you want. (FYI this is a general statement saying anyone can limit their options however they want, it is not directed specifically at any one person)

[AFriendlyFace]

Please let's drop the discussion of bisexuality in this thread. Apart from obviously being somewhat inflammatory it's also mostly off topic.

[old bob]

Please let's drop the discussion of bisexuality in this thread. Apart from obviously being somewhat inflammatory it's also mostly off topic.

Sorry Kevin, as a bi myself, I would like more details about your comment.

Do your refer to the comment :

And another important one: he should be gay! Or at least bi.

and the answer :

Sure he is , i don't like bi though !!!

It would be interesting to know, perhaps in an other topic, why Andy don't like bi. Since a long time I expected to find somebody who have the guts to explain me why ?

Now that I found one, I dont want to let him go

[TalonRider]

Please let's drop the discussion of bisexuality in this thread. Apart from obviously being somewhat inflammatory it's also mostly off topic.

 

 

Sorry Kevin, as a bi myself, I would like more details about your comment.

Do your refer to the comment :

 

and the answer :

 

It would be interesting to know, perhaps in an other topic, why Andy don't like bi. Since a long time I expected to find somebody who have the guts to explain me why ?

Now that I found one, I dont want to let him go

As Kevin has stated, this needs to get back to the original topic.

 

The subject of bisexuality, can be and is, a touchy subject for some. And it can cause unwanted problems.

 

Jan

[corvus]

Kevin -- wow. That is, like, a long post.

 

Andy -- yeah, I'll not mention the bifocals minus focal, but that seems a bit hyper-sensitive?

 

old bob -- ahh, true love.

 

As for me... physically, I gravitate towards people who're lean but not emaciated. Reasonable amounts of body hair are fine. And not too short, please? In terms of other "qualifications," I like people who don't talk too much, people who can spout out a lot of amusing nonsense, and nerds. Nerd-love.

[AFriendlyFace]

Kevin -- wow. That is, like, a long post.

Well, let's just say I probably wouldn't meet your "doesn't talk too much" qualification

 

As for me... physically, I gravitate towards people who're lean but not emaciated. Reasonable amounts of body hair are fine. And not too short, please? In terms of other "qualifications," I like people who don't talk too much, people who can spout out a lot of amusing nonsense, and nerds. Nerd-love.

Ya know, I actually think I have a couple of exes I could point your way

[Myk]

As Kevin has stated, this needs to get back to the original topic.

 

The subject of bisexuality, can be and is, a touchy subject for some. And it can cause unwanted problems.

 

Jan

 

Actually is that off topic? Since the thread starter brought it up, and since this is a thread about what kind of person you would want to date, I think it is somewhat relative in this context.

 

Also bisexuality isn't 'touchy' for me, although it seems to be with a few people who have had a 'bad experience' in the past. I don't even have a problem with anyone saying they don't want to date a bi guy/girl. It is totally their choice.

 

What I do take acception to though is discrimination of any sort, and passing off negative, blanket stereotypes to others as 'advice'. I don't tolerate racism, sexism, ageism, etc etc. I would think that most gay people would learn it isn't nice to treat others so poorly, but it seems bi is even less acceptable than gay these days. Also if you want to share a bad experience and say be careful, by all means do that!! Just don't say in general bi guys do such and such. Its just not true. Personally I took the statement "i don't like bi though !!!" to be a directed statement of hate....and I would have commented just as harshly if someone had said 'I don't like black people' (just an example, not my feelings at all).

 

Anyway if you still feel this topic doesn't belong in this thread feel free to remove this post, it wouldn't be a first for me...

[Graeme]

What I do take acception to though is discrimination of any sort, and passing off negative, blanket stereotypes to others as 'advice'. I don't tolerate racism, sexism, ageism, etc etc. I would think that most gay people would learn it isn't nice to treat others so poorly, but it seems bi is even less acceptable than gay these days. Also if you want to share a bad experience and say be careful, by all means do that!! Just don't say in general bi guys do such and such. Its just not true. Personally I took the statement "i don't like bi though !!!" to be a directed statement of hate....and I would have commented just as harshly if someone had said 'I don't like black people' (just an example, not my feelings at all).

The following is my personal opinion only....

 

Everyone has their likes and dislikes, and what they envisage their ideal mate to be. For some, that may come over as discriminatory. As an example, if I were to fantasise about an ideal partner, there are several races that I would not include. That doesn't mean I'm racist -- it is just that my fantasies do not include those races. I could see the possibility of falling in love with someone from one of those races, but I wouldn't be looking for it, because I would be looking elsewhere.

 

Since this is a thread about what qualities you would want in a boyfriend, I see the comment "I don't like bi though" in the same way that I would see the comment "I don't like martians, though" -- a statement of what that particular person sees as being sexually attractive. I don't, at this point in time, find martians attractive, though if some sexy NASA astronaut decides to call himself a martian because he's living on the red planet, then I reserve the right to change my mind

 

The amusing thing from my point of view is that my partner matches almost none of the 'theoretical' requirements of my fantasy partner -- she doesn't even have the sex right! That doesn't mean I don't love her -- it just wasn't what I was looking for.

[Myk]

The following is my personal opinion only....

 

Everyone has their likes and dislikes, and what they envisage their ideal mate to be. For some, that may come over as discriminatory. As an example, if I were to fantasise about an ideal partner, there are several races that I would not include. That doesn't mean I'm racist -- it is just that my fantasies do not include those races. I could see the possibility of falling in love with someone from one of those races, but I wouldn't be looking for it, because I would be looking elsewhere.

 

Since this is a thread about what qualities you would want in a boyfriend, I see the comment "I don't like bi though" in the same way that I would see the comment "I don't like martians, though" -- a statement of what that particular person sees as being sexually attractive. I don't, at this point in time, find martians attractive, though if some sexy NASA astronaut decides to call himself a martian because he's living on the red planet, then I reserve the right to change my mind

 

The amusing thing from my point of view is that my partner matches almost none of the 'theoretical' requirements of my fantasy partner -- she doesn't even have the sex right! That doesn't mean I don't love her -- it just wasn't what I was looking for.

 

Fair enough Graeme. If it was just intended as an 'I don't want to date a bi guy' thats fine, doesn't bother me at all. To me though it read as 'i don't like bi (people)' which I do take offense to. I understand lots of people have been burned by bi guys/girls in the past, but that doesn't make us all guilty of it, nor does it mean gay and straight people are any less guilty of leaving their ex significant others with a bad taste in their mouths.

 

It is quite possible it was a partial language barrier here...but I sense history there, and it read as if he blames all bi guys for the acts of one. I could be wrong...

[Andy2008]

When you get older, you will learn and experience that real love has nothing to do with your wishes

Its like a lightning, it strikes you what ever who the other is. The real must is not what he cares about you, but what you care about him.

 

Oh yes !!! I knew that !!! Life is suck , they will never give what's us want , they will alway give us a less expected thing to let us known who's to bless what's we got .

Thank !!!

 

btw , i don't want to mention about the "bisexual" things , i get tired of it ... I had a huge discussing here with afrienlyface about this issue few month ago , you can find the old thread and will known the reason why ... ? thanks .

 

And for Myk , i'm just said i shouldn't said that statement , you fix me correct , sorry !!!

Edited April 13, 2009 by Andy2008

[Mark Arbour]

Actually is that off topic? Since the thread starter brought it up, and since this is a thread about what kind of person you would want to date, I think it is somewhat relative in this context.

 

Also bisexuality isn't 'touchy' for me, although it seems to be with a few people who have had a 'bad experience' in the past. I don't even have a problem with anyone saying they don't want to date a bi guy/girl. It is totally their choice.

 

What I do take acception to though is discrimination of any sort, and passing off negative, blanket stereotypes to others as 'advice'. I don't tolerate racism, sexism, ageism, etc etc. I would think that most gay people would learn it isn't nice to treat others so poorly, but it seems bi is even less acceptable than gay these days. Also if you want to share a bad experience and say be careful, by all means do that!! Just don't say in general bi guys do such and such. Its just not true. Personally I took the statement "i don't like bi though !!!" to be a directed statement of hate....and I would have commented just as harshly if someone had said 'I don't like black people' (just an example, not my feelings at all).

 

Anyway if you still feel this topic doesn't belong in this thread feel free to remove this post, it wouldn't be a first for me...

 

I'm glad this issue is resolved, but I agree with you, I found the initial statement to be extremely offensive. Part of me is frustrated that this community wasn't outraged by it, as you would expect the victims of intolerance to be the most willing to fight against it. On the other hand, I'm glad they didn't in this sense. We are lucky to have many people here who don't speak English as their native tongue, and a certain courtesy and leeway should be given to them as they try and grapple with our truly complex and f**ked up language.

[tomon]

I'm glad this issue is resolved, but I agree with you, I found the initial statement to be extremely offensive.

 

It really is just how each person sees it. Text is much harder to interpret than actual face to face conversation but since this thread was about "preferences" in guys then I immediately took that comment as "I prefer not to date bisexual guys."

 

Anyways isn't there a seperate forum for all this debating?

 

Back on topic:

I guess I have my ideal guy and my ideal girl and I could go into depth about what things would make them perfect. But that could take ages so here's a sum up.

 

Things I like:

My ideal guy or my ideal girl would be that person that I just click with, I like their interests and they like mine and we just get on.

 

Things I dislike:

Finding that person.

[Sir Galahad]

On a serious note I don't think there is an 'ideal' guy. I know some people who have certain standards and refuse to be flexable. Needless to say they are still very much single!

I just think it's who ever you click with, though a looker with tight buns always scores brownie points!

[methodwriter85]

Physically, I want a guy who's tall with broad shoulders and a thick, full head of hair that never balds. I like a guy with big hands and big feet, and I like a nice natural tan. Long muscular legs dusted with hair would be nice as well.

 

Personality-wise, I think I'd need a clear-headed, down-to-Earth guy with a great sense of humour. A guy who can make me laugh, yet can also hold very intelligent conversations with me seems ideal, I believe. The kind of guy I want to end up with should be the kind of guy that balances me out, and compliments my personality.