[DomLuka] age, does it matter?

[DomLuka]

I thought about putting this in my blog, but I think I

[viv]

Hi Dom!!

 

So many questions...

 

I guess I will give a very vague answer and then explain why. I think it totally depends on the people in the relationship. Duh, I know. :wacko:

 

I say this because it seems to get easier to be in a relationship with a big age difference, in my opinion (my husband and I are only eleven months apart), as you get older. For example Dom, right now you are 21 so that would make this potential partner 34. Now, most 21 year olds are probably close to finishing college or starting grad school, or they have just started their career in whatever they got a degree in and are focused more on work or school. But this 34 year old is at a place now where he can slow down, so to speak, in his career and focus more on building a family. It is hard to do what both people want when you are in two different places in your lives. If you have the same long term goals, and understand that each person will have goals for their own life as well, it is possible to make it work. Now, I am 28 so my potential partner would be 41 and I don't know if I could see myself with a 41 year old. Also, I have issues with death because my parents died when I was 18(Dad) and 21(Mom) so I would worry that this person would die and leave me without a partner to finish out OUR life. In high school, one of my teachers married a man 10 years younger because she said that men outlive women by 10 years and then they would die together. Now, I am not naive enough to think that it would really work out this way. I am well aware of the fact that I could walk out my front door tomorrow and be killed by a bus or something. So, I guess it is about that spark or if you click together. As you get older it seems that you would be able to get to a place where you could be happy together, but I think it would definately be a hard road to travel and a long way to get there.

 

Maybe this is where the saying 'an old soul' comes from. Like that might be why someone 13 years older would click with someone so much younger. I do believe however, that no matter the age or circumstance, if you want to make a relationship work with two willing partners, you can through respect, compromise and communication...

 

There now... Viv

Edited August 18, 2005 by viv

[NaperVic]

If two people really click, then age shouldn't matter. The two people in a relationship always have one or many issues that they have to deal with. In this case, age would just be one of them.

 

For example, Can a die hard republican marry a die hard democrat? Sure, but they'll have stuff to deal with (could you imagine the dinner party conversation? :wacko: ). What about the election signs in the front yard?

 

I think what really matters is how the two people deal with any conflict that may arise.

 

I am five years older than my BF. While our age spread isn't huge, it isn't one of our issues.

 

Vic

Edited August 18, 2005 by naper_vic

[vision]

I think 13 years is way to big an age difference, but different kicks for different tricks.

 

As quite a few people now know the biggest age difference with someone I've had is 7 years and that was older, obviously, so I was 15 and them 22. Do I have any regrets? No. I wouldn't go for any older though, plus I probably wouldn't be attracted to anyone over 22 at the moment anyway.

 

When there is to large an age gap it becomes hard for 2 people to relate to one another, let alone the sexual aspects.

 

Age becomes less of an issue as you get older, however when your 30 and under it is an issue.

 

Whatever makes both parties happy is what's important, I've stated what I think, others will state what they think, everyone has different tastes and ideas on things, that's diversity for you.

[storymonger]

I'll bite, I guess. I usually avoid all non-literary discussion on these boards, but...

 

"If two people really click, then age shouldn't matter." See... that's a wonderfully romantic notion. And everybody loves to think that you can overcome all boundaries if you just love somebody enough. But the practical reality is that it's just not true. Age will always matter, and thirteen years is a big gap.

 

Now, as time goes by, the gap isn't as big of a deal, but when you're talking about, say... a 21 year old and a 37 year old, that is a huge gap in life experience and maturity. How can such a disparity in the emotional development of two people NOT matter? And if you're dealing with a 37 year old who doesn't reflect that additional life experience in a greater sense of self and maturity, then it's probably best not to go there... I'm not interested in someone who is still clinging on to a bygone era of their life.

 

Any time I see someone with another person who is much younger/older, the relationship is always unbalanced and has this paternal element to it that I'd rather not experience in my love life. The "daddy" fantasy just isn't for me. I have a simple rule of thumb... if it is at all possible that someone could have been my biological father, then the age gap is just too big by a margin of at least 5 years.

Edited August 18, 2005 by jontd

[NaperVic]

"If two people really click, then age shouldn't matter." See... that's a wonderfully romantic notion.

Thanks!

 

And everybody loves to think that you can overcome all boundaries if you just love somebody enough. But the practical reality is that it's just not true.

 

That's quite a broad statement.

 

Well, I'm basing my opinion on three very happy, well adjusted, straight couples that I know of, each of whom have a greater than 13 year age difference. I don't necessarily think that love conquers all, but I do know that some couples don't look at their age difference as a 'burden to overcome'. In fact, it is either a non-issue for them, or something that gives their relationship strength. The only ones who seem to have a problem with it are 3rd party individuals who say it's 'wrong'.

 

Vic

[Guest KCStorm01]

First, Dom, I have to say that I LOVE your writing and I check back often for updates. You're an extraordinary author and I've been following your stories for a long time now!

 

Second, as for your question of whether age matters, my answer is that it does sometimes and other times it doesn't. I agree with a recent poster that it depends on the relationship. My boyfriend and I are half-way through our fifth year together. When we got together, I was 23 and he was 34. In our case, it is somewhat of an issue because he's of the opinion that I should listen to every bit of advice he gives like it's gospel because he's older. It also means that, therefore, he doesn't have to listen to or take any bit of advice I give. Yes, it's rather adversarial, but I also think it has a lot to do with our personalities.

 

I've also noticed, from my own experience and that of friends, that older guys are more "homebody settled" (if that makes sense). So, if that's the type of person you are, then go for it. I would never recommend that someone not get into a relationship with someone else that I don't know, especially over the Internet!

 

I say, if he makes you happy and you two click, go for it! If it doesn't work out, at least you'll know that it didn't work out because he was older or if it was because of other reasons.

[Ryandy]

I would like to say that AGE DOESN'T MATTER. Well, i used to think that age did matter, this n that, bla bla bla, not until october last year when i fell in love for the second time of my life.

At that time, i was just about to turn 23, and he is 40, so there was 17 yrs difference, and he looked like just 25 or sth. The feeling has been so strong even until now , and every little thing spend with him were all worthy, even sometimes we run out of topic, but just being together was enough, to feel the happiness of being with the one that you want to be the most with.

 

I believe that many years from now, when i turn back to look at these times, i ll know for sure that there wont be any regret.

17 yrs of age difference, so what??? the most important is knowing what you want, and at the time you have what you really want, you will know for sure that, NOTHING REALLY MATTERS

It will be one of the most incredible memories in my life.

[Bardeara]

Ryandy you make it sound like as if you are now longer with your second love. I hope I miss read that. With that said, I hope I look like I am 25 when I am 40, which is a possablity since I still look like I am in my mid to late teens. I wonder why some people stay looking so young where others appear to ages faster then they truly do.

 

I only hope dude that when I find someone it will be a wonderful as you say yours has been.

[Mark Arbour]

Ryandy you make it sound like as if you are now longer with your second love. I hope I miss read that.    With that said, I hope I look like I am 25 when I am 40, which is a possablity since I still look like I am in my mid to late teens.    I wonder why some people stay looking so young where others appear to ages faster then they truly do. 

 

I only hope dude that when I find someone it will be a wonderful as you say yours has been. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

So if you look 25, but you're actually 40, why did you put down that you were 26 on your profile? I mean, it's your deal, but it doesn't exactly inspire trust.

[Bao]

he said he hope to look 25 when hes 40.... jeez lol

[Masked Monkey]

he said he hope to look 25 when hes 40.... jeez lol

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ignore the big kitty when he is up late and cranky. (If he was "sleeping" with me, he wouldn't be out of bed when he was up late)

 

:king: Snow Dog

[Bardeara]

It's ok I did the same to him once too, I think.

 

i guess it comes with the territory when your taping your fingers waiting for the next great chapter from Mr. Luka.

[Mark Arbour]

It's ok I did the same to him once too, I think.

 

i guess it comes with the territory when your taping your fingers waiting for the next great chapter from Mr. Luka.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

Sorry Bard. My bad. Usually I'm only mean to Connor.

[Bardeara]

it's ok Mark, I seem to be on the receving end of anger from many different people. :wacko:

[Masked Monkey]

it's ok Mark, I seem to be on the receving end of anger from many different people.  :wacko:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok, that comment is just begging for a request for more information...

 

Please explain

 

 

:king: Snow Dog

[Mark Arbour]

it's ok Mark, I seem to be on the receving end of anger from many different people.

[Masked Monkey]

it's ok Mark, I seem to be on the receving end of anger from many different people.  :wacko:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok, that comment is just begging for a request for more information...

 

Please explain

 

 

:king: Snow Dog

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

What's wrong with being on the receiving end?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was more interested in the source of/reason for engendering the anger, not the fact that he was receiving.

 

In fact, I think I have made it quite clear that I have no problem with being on receiving end.

 

:king: Snow Dog

[Bardeara]

it's ok Mark, I seem to be on the receving end of anger from many different people.

[Terry]

I thought about putting this in my blog, but I think I

[Guest Rogue90813]

I thought about putting this in my blog, but I think I

[NaperVic]

Hello everyone, this is my first post.I finally figured out that my favorite stories on nifty were writing by one author(Dom of course) so i had to check out his site. Regarding Dom's questions I think that age isn't an issue the love of my life was older than me ( me=14,him=18) and our relationship was great up til the end. My next relationship was also with someone older(me=25,him=40) and he was spawn of satan....

 

Welcome Rogue to this crazy place we call Domaholics!!!!! You must be cool because you are 1)Claiming that Dom writes your favorite stories and 2)You are from California.

 

Glad you posted and hope to see you around here more often.

 

Vic the Domaholic

 

P.S. - Question for you - Aaron...A little slut or misunderstood angel?

[glomph]

Dom,

 

We would object to anyone who would interfere with your writing.

[Guest Rogue90813]

Welcome Rogue to this crazy place we call Domaholics!!!!! You must be cool because you are 1)Claiming that Dom writes your favorite stories and 2)You are from California.

 

Glad you posted and hope to see you around here more often.

 

Vic the Domaholic

 

P.S. - Question for you - Aaron...A little slut or misunderstood angel?

 

 

Hmmm. I'd say he's a misunderstood slut.

 

Hmmm. I'd say he's a misunderstood slut.

 

P.S. Thanks for the welcome

[Bardeara]

P.S. - Question for you - Aaron...A little slut or misunderstood angel?

 

Talk about a loaded question!!!

 

Hmmm. I'd say he's a misunderstood slut.

 

 

Nice recovery and welcome to the boards