Roll Call

[hh5]

That answer was in CH 16 posted yesterday. And it was sweet.

 

Kaboom was the former principal - but wasn't there a rigging of jan house to blow up

so she was caught but it doesn't mean than Jan house won't blow and thats left to see who innocently gets hurt

so the reader perceives to wait for or overlooked

[ricky]

Kaboom was the former principal - but wasn't there a rigging of jan house to blow up

so she was caught but it doesn't mean than Jan house won't blow and thats left to see who innocently gets hurt

so the reader perceives to wait for or overlooked

 

Jim Clayburn walked up and spoke to Renae, "Are you alright?" He asked.

 

 

 

"Yes, but what are you doing here?"

 

 

 

"My Job, I saw the news and hired Ned Branick an investigator to check out Elliot and Karen Glicksman, when I found out about the soccer game I became concerned and so I had Ned stake out the trailer and your house just to make sure you were safe. Good thing too. The rednecks that blew up her car set dynamite to blow up your old trailer. Ned's guy called the Sheriff and they are in custody. I guess there were a couple more that were over here doing the car. Look I'm going to have them check out your cars before we leave. Just in case. Ned here can take you guys home if you want. We can get the car tomorrow. I think it's pretty certain that there will be a police presence here for a while yet."

 

 

[hh5]

Jim Clayburn walked up and spoke to Renae, "Are you alright?" He asked.

 

 

 

"Yes, but what are you doing here?"

 

 

 

"My Job, I saw the news and hired Ned Branick an investigator to check out Elliot and Karen Glicksman, when I found out about the soccer game I became concerned and so I had Ned stake out the trailer and your house just to make sure you were safe. Good thing too. The rednecks that blew up her car set dynamite to blow up your old trailer. Ned's guy called the Sheriff and they are in custody. I guess there were a couple more that were over here doing the car. Look I'm going to have them check out your cars before we leave. Just in case. Ned here can take you guys home if you want. We can get the car tomorrow. I think it's pretty certain that there will be a police presence here for a while yet."

 

 

 

Thanks but too bad ... unless more bad guys come in because of oprah

[option]

Dont know if this is something thats answered already:

 

Why is Jan in a motorised chair?

He has 2 arms & hands, so could presumably use a manual wheelchair.

[ricky]

Dont know if this is something thats answered already:

 

Why is Jan in a motorised chair?

He has 2 arms & hands, so could presumably use a manual wheelchair.

 

Actually I gave that a lot of thought. When you are very young, being mobile is huge. Or rather, being motorized is. He was a young soccer star who was robbed. The very least mom could do is give him, what would have been then, a "Very Cool chair". Eh? Hide away controls that allows him to slide in close to the table and faster than Elliot could walk. Etc.

 

Thanks for a great question. It shows me that I have Personified Jan sufficiently to make him real.

Ricky

[AndyMac]

I'm enjoying the story, many thanks,

Andy

[Guest writerchick]

this story is so cute. i love the romance

[ricky]

this story is so cute. i love the romance

 

Glad you are enjoying it. It is fun to write as well.

[DarkPrince]

I love this story. An awsome read i just can't stop. one of my favorites. Thanks Ricky

[ricky]

Roll Call CH 18 is posted.

 

Roll Call CH 18 by Ricky

 

Sorry for the delay. Life sometime, ya know? Not done with it yet either.

[ricky]

Reviews From the before Time: (De-emoticoned - They have a limit, did you know?)

PS - A new Chapter Coming as soon as Surfgrommet gets off his surfboard / butt!

 

Roll Call Reviews

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 18 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

That was very interesting with all the different reactions from parents. Tanner is one smart young man. I still think you are a bit too metaphorical on the sex scenes, I'm sure you could be more straightforward if you tried It does tend to put me off I have to admit. Other than that this is just as good if not better than all the other chapters I've loved

 

 

Author's Response:

 

One rauchy sex scene coming right up! I mean, what the hell, it's almost Christmas anyways right? And actually the real Tanner aka Surfgrommet, said he would more than likely have just slapped her up side the head with the damn book and see if that shook anything loose.

 

Happy Holidays!

 

Date: 12/01/2010 06:19 AM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: DarkPrince

 

OMG i love this story it always keeps me begging for more. Thanks ricky for an adorable story. cannot wait till the next chapter.

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks so very much. It has been one of my favorites too. Elliot is just so likeable and Jan so cute and lovable. The combination will be a strong pair and an unbeatable couple.

 

 

Cheers!

 

r

 

Date: 12/01/2010 03:12 AM

 

Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: JimCarter

 

I love the story. you have made the boys perfect for each other.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Even perfect love is bound to have some bumps. Eh?

 

Thanks

 

r

 

Date: 10/25/2010 01:37 PM

 

Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: phana14

 

Well wasn't that a special treat!

 

A wonderful chapter AND *ghost* writers in the pool (and elsewhere.) hehe

 

I really like the idea that you (Ricky) are mentoring these guys. Yeah, I cheated this time and read *reviews* first.

 

But you know what? Just BECAUSE I knew that Tanner and Ryan were the authors of this particular segment of your story made it SO much more realistic! This time I wasn't reading a fantasy (not that there is ANYTHING wrong with that ), it made it easier to *see* it as real life.

 

Thanks to Ricky, Tanner (sg) and Ryan! *hugsXa billion!!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

So glad you liked it. I've passed the platitudes on to the right folks. And it was very kind of them to loan their love to my story.

 

Cheers,

 

R

 

Date: 08/31/2010 04:36 PM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: hh5

 

Ok so its wait and see how the producers of Oprah wish to tackle this issue. I must say it probably do better than News casters themselves since there can be questionable tactics to make news. Now I still have to worry about Men abusing Sheep and calling themselves Men.

 

Author's Response:

 

Hey, when it's bed time, some people count them jumping over a fence. Others grab one and hump them on the fence. We all get to sleep in our own way and I'll not fault them for their desire to have hands full of curls while they . . . burn testosterone and energy to try and get a good nights rest.

 

Well, . . . at least I won't say anything Baaaaaad.

 

Cheers,

Ricky

 

Date: 08/29/2010 02:57 PM

 

Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: hh5

 

I looked at the Eliot and Jan part of the chapter. Not the rest. I find it pretty risky in that interview to the point of needing a lawyer or a parent to let the kid know what the risk in a talk show. Still there is potential for fall out from Oprah or CNN ... I hope you will paint the reality ... I forgot what state this story takes place is it California or the east coast? Because location does increase the risk. I am sure they are not in the bible belt.

 

Author's Response:

 

The story takes place in West Virginia where the men are men and the sheep are nervous. This is fiction and so is the interview. If they complain I'll change it to an unknown. But I don't think it shows an endorsement or a rebuttle on the issue of being gay. In short, I think this is how she would have handled it. As for the legalities, I agree and that is why there is no audience and it is taped. It could be edited if needed and as you will see later, the issue of them being minors is dealt with when the show is broadcast.

 

Thanks Harold!

Ricky

 

Date: 08/29/2010 01:55 PM

 

Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

That was so sweet. Keeper of my soul. WOW. You are getting poetic dude. I don't quite know what it was about this chapter compared to the previous ones but it really seemed to pop for me. I loved it, just loved it. The Oprah interview was so funny and it just got better from there. Awesome one.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

you don't think it could be the two young ladies in love so publically just after executing their favorite sport, male bashing, could it? I mean, he did have it coming along with a severe smashing of his face once or twice on the table. God, some guys can be such dicks.

 

And thanks. And you might tell Surfgrommet you liked his contribution. He is Tanner and his boyfriend is Ryan. They wrote their love scene.

 

Beautiful isn't it?

 

 

Cheers,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 08/29/2010 07:11 AM

 

Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: Clovis

 

Oprah, no less... great interview... and the rest -- well you know you're the master...

Now I've a wank fantasy for tonight. Thanks.

 

Author's Response:

 

Like you really need a fantasy. Your life is a fantasy for the rest of the wishing world. And you have your very own fantsy laying next to you. I should BE so fantasyless!

 

Cheers my dear friend.

 

Ricky

 

Date: 08/29/2010 12:11 AM

 

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: johnnyjon2008

 

Hi,

 

This chapter brings out the love all parents should have for their children. If our world had such supportive loving parents as Karen and Renee gay children would be safe. All the best reason for the loving f**k scene at the end. What better celebration of love than the total giving of each other's bodies to one another than the erotic coupling of Elliot and Jan. Bring it on!

 

Thanks,

 

Randy

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya, I agree. It is one of the things I really enjoy writing about is the total and complete commitment. true love. Does it exist? I'd like to think so. But even true love must be worked at to be maintained.

 

So glad you are enjoying it. Thanks so much. Your words and enjoyment really make writing it and sharing it worthwhile.

 

Cheers, Ricky

 

Date: 08/21/2010 04:43 AM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: johnnyjon2008

 

A really great story with some very creative twists. It is captivating as well as very sexy!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Date: 08/20/2010 05:01 PM

 

Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: Douw

 

Really cool chapter! I loved the taser part!

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya, I did too. That's why I went back for seconds. lol.

 

From the comments I think we might be able to get it into the next oylimpics.

 

Date: 08/17/2010 03:07 PM

 

Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: TomasG

 

Another great chapter!

 

Glad to see McAllister get hers. I can think of several in RL that it would be a great bit of 'shocking' entertainment to see their sorry asses tazed 2 or 3 or more times before being dropped in a pile of manure like the pieces of excrement that they are.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya it was sweet, wasn't it? She was such a Bette Davis.

 

There will always be butt heads in RL. I'm finding that unlike the old days when cowering was the best thing to do, today the way to deal with them is to call them on it. Make them stand up and be counted amongst their peers. Many suddenly don't remain so bold and actually cower when you repeat what they said to you loudly. The effect is that everyone looks at them, not sure what is going on. What the idiot reads in their faces is not support so they lose ground rapidly thinking they have no support.

 

Try it. Get a snide comment. Stop and turn around and say, "What You think I'm a faggot? What's it too ya if I was? Are you really that ignorant? SHeesh! Get an education." Then just freeze, who ever blinks next loses. Watch him run.

 

Mc Allister was fun.

 

Thanks, Ricky

 

Date: 08/15/2010 04:47 PM

 

Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Glad to see this up at last.

 

First thing that struck me was the first part. I was completely with you right up to the point when Mr Steiner told Karen about what Ellen McAllister said about Elliott. I don't know quite why she freaked so competely on him I mean one minute she was holding his hands and he seemed to be coming round and he had relaxed enough to start talking to her reasonably...ish and the next she's saying she wishes she had handed his wife the tablets to kill herself... i'm really not sure I get that switch.

 

twitching pile of incontinence OH GOD I love that phrase.

 

I loved this chapter. The letter had me in tears. The facts and figures were shockers. Only you could weave something a important as this into an extremely enjoyable story. Awesome.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Hi Nephy, So glad you enjoyed the read. And thanks for the flowers.

 

Now, regarding why Karen turned on Mr. Steiner. She was cutting him some slack, he was all over the place. One moment remourseful the next accusatory. That one needs some therapy and I know just the person to get him som. "Me". And all Karen needed to hear was that homophobe woman's name speaking against her boy and I suppose she wanted to do to Ellen what she had done to Granger, crush her windpipe. Mr. Steiner was all but saying that Elliot raped his little boy and made him queer. Something that Ellen had eluded to when she spoke to Mr. Steiner. As if he needed his head any more messed up.

 

How would you be if someone threatened or bad mouthed one of your cubs? I wouldn't want to even be around when you went off. I think there would be a defined blast zone. And we won't even speak on what legal things you'd think up to tie up any assets the perp may have had.

 

Cheers! Ricky

 

Date: 08/15/2010 11:48 AM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Philibert

 

VERY sweet. Wonderful atunement between our boys.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thank you. Maybe a little altrueistic but it's fantasy right? Hope I keep your attention.

 

Caution: The boys as well as the boys in TIC are addictive. You've been warned.

 

 

Cheers,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 08/15/2010 12:08 AM

 

Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: phana14

 

Okeedokee!

 

I've been out of touch with this story for some time, so I read chapter 15 over first. The interesting thing that I noticed in that chapter was that even though four boys were introduced immediately, it only took a few lines for me to fall right back into the story (plot). Almost instantaneously.

 

That says tons about the author.

 

And Ricky, I have to tell you that several times in this last chapter my fingers were tightly intertwined and pressing against my heart while they were taking a salt bath.

 

Thanks, you!!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

I'm glad it made your heart go pitter patter, pitter patter. Yes the story is taking on a little more baggage and letting some fade back into their own lives. At least for a time.

 

Sorry I had been gone so long but events just occured that made it neccesary. But hopefully it will be getting better and chapters will be more forthcoming.

 

Thanks for the flowers,

 

Cheers. (A salt bath . . . really? I must be losing it. I don't remember it.)

 

Ricky

 

Date: 08/14/2010 04:22 PM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Avid

 

this one had me laughing my head off . now it did address some top issues but it did it with humor. orginal characters that mesh well and keep you reading. a gotta read

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Glad you like it. I have so much fun writing them. I hope you stay amused.

 

 

Cheers,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 08/11/2010 07:13 PM

 

Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Paya

 

OK, these last three chapters I've just read sound scary... The only consolation is that those bigots are really dumbf**ks and blow up the wrong car - and that the trailer is empty for a long time. I hope the Legal Office made arrangements for that old broad to be sacked for good.

 

Otherwise I'm eager to hear more from Jeremy and Jess! A new couple to care about! On the other hand... there hasn't been much sex lately... that almost doesn't sound like ricky's stories :-o

 

 

Author's Response:

 

haha, Thanks. It is coming honest. And you know I like happy endings and we have a ways to go yet for that. And yes, a new and interesting couple. As for the sex, at the pleading of the public, a few needed to heal up. Seems they were a little too raw from too much reading so I thought perhaps a "little" cooling off period was in order. Besides, too much and it loses it's special meaning. Remember, my boys don't have sex, they make love.

 

 

Thanks,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 08/09/2010 06:45 AM

 

Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Jared

 

Ricky, Oh My God I loved this the same amount as I loved T.I.C and Blind Sensations (1&2) .... There will be more? I love all your stories

 

Author's Response:

 

Yes and thank you. Mark my editor has two more chapters now so soon. I hope you still say that after reading, "The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of".

 

lol

 

Soon. Honest.

 

Ricky

 

Date: 07/30/2010 04:30 PM

 

Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

hehehe. That was great. I'm going to post on your thread.

 

Date: 07/18/2010 01:22 PM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Hey, I enjoyed this a lot. I left a comment on the forum as addressed above.

 

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks. I'll go see it. That moves the page to the front of the forum again. Great for exposure. Thank you.

 

Date: 07/17/2010 03:23 AM

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Hello,

 

It's not very often as story sucks me in from the first couple of paragraphs. This one did. I couldn't stop reading. This was fantastic. I love everything about it so far, one thought I had was that this would be ultra cool in the first person--and sticking to the one POV. It would make me feel even closer to Elliot.

 

Cool,

 

Anyta

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks. I hope it keeps you sucked in. I have considered trying to do a story in the first person but I am so used to looking through the eyes of the one speaking that I don't know that I could do it. First person is a very tough thing for me to read or write. I am so profoundly dyslexic that I use a screen reader for reading anything longer than a note as I follow along reading the text. Perhaps one day.

 

Right now I prefer it to be a conversation I think. I have had five readers who have read this story decide to come out because of it. So if it works, I don't think I'll try and fix it.

 

I have found that when first person stories change to first person but a different person. It bugs me. It's alright when done consistiently in the one POV but switching just turns me off. I have to try and establish a persona different than I was prepared for when I came to read. So if I do one first person, it would only be one person. But in my mind, that really limits the scope of the story so it will have to be a very special storyline.

 

Thanks for taking the time to comment. It's always appreciated. I always try and find ways to become a better writer and welcome any critisism that helps me along those lines. I've come a long ways since I started in Nov of 2007. But I have a long ways yet to go. I read things like Mark Arbour's HMS series and David McLeod and it keeps me humble.

 

Thanks so much and cheers,

Ricky

 

Date: 07/15/2010 05:50 AM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Remijay

 

Your story is awesome...ITs so adorable i like it...Keep it up ! Hugz * Kizzes ^Remijay^ :-)

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks. I love this age bracket because of theraging innocence and the blind passion of discovery. I think it was a really exciting time to be alive. I like to keep it real too, so into every life a little rain must fall. But they tell me what to write and that is what I do.

 

Thanks for the flowers!

 

Cheers,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 06/25/2010 02:25 PM

 

Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Oh hell The dynamite thing is scary as hell, especially when everything else is going so well. Don't keep us in suspence too long.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

No worries, the next chapter is in Mark's (My editor) hands now.

 

I hope Mark Arbour doesn't mind being mentioned. I thought it was pretty cool but then afterwards I got to thinking that he may not want his name associated with this segment of the genre.

 

Date: 06/24/2010 02:17 AM

 

Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: hh5

 

Hey the coach been quiet??

 

Gosh what will happen when the trailer blows up and the worst if someone gets killed or imjured seriously.

 

Gosh - phanatics out there

 

Hate does hurt and worst it can kill - as some one said its all emotional and its not logical.and drama go skyrocketing

 

 

Author's Response:

 

All true statements. Hate never cancels hate. 2 wrongs don't make it right. Each person must keep their own Joojoo.

 

Date: 06/23/2010 01:33 AM

 

Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Allerron

 

I hope that I'm not getting my hopes up. There's a lot that's happening in this chpater, and I'm liking it!

 

I'm just hoping for the Crown Vic to go boom, perhaps with someone unplanned for inside...

 

 

Author's Response:

 

I would Never include gratuitous violence. Stay tuned though I have some stuff planned for you. CH 16 is with the editor as I type this.

 

Date: 06/22/2010 10:08 PM

 

Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: Allerron

 

This was a frightening one! The thought of an ed-u-ma-cated redneck scares the crap outta me!

 

I like how the various sub-plots are starting to weave together, I look forward to seeing how things continue to evolve. And, I'm hoping that Ellen McAllister gets dealt with.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Somehow the Ellen McAllister type always get dealt with.

 

Date: 06/13/2010 08:33 AM

 

Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: TomasG

 

Interesting story. I've been following and enjoying it since I found it on nifty.

 

Just out of idol couriosity... why is there a two month gap between the time the chapters are posted on Nifty and they are posted here? April 7th on Nifty and now two months later here for chapter 14.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

To be honest, I just started posting here in DEC. So I had some catching up to do. They are even now so they should post at the same time. I actually thought I had 14 posted everyplace and discovered it was missing here. But it should all be dome at the same time from now on.

 

Date: 06/12/2010 10:53 PM

 

Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Awww... Nice chapter. I hope you appreciate that I feel nervous reading your stories now not knowing who's going to fall off a cliff next

 

Seriously this is getting very very interesting.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Now have I ever pushed anyone off a cliff intentionally? And I have Blind Sensations that even through the peril of the Spy vs Spy no one croaked in. I mean, sheesh kill of one lousy main and you're branded for life.

 

Stay in perspective now, this is a comedy. lol

 

Cheers,

 

r

 

Date: 06/12/2010 01:01 PM

 

Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: hh5

 

Look forward to 15

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks, working on it. My editor has it and he is getting caught up.

 

 

Cheers,

 

r

 

Date: 06/12/2010 10:29 AM

 

Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Wyndham

 

This story continues to delight.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks, it is so much fun to write. Delightful characters and they can be so funny together sometimes.

 

Date: 06/01/2010 07:53 AM

 

Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Allerron

 

I really enjoyed this chapter, watching new sub-plots being woven through the tale and expecting all sorts of nasty stuff to come. That Ellen McAllister should just be shot with rusty bullets!

 

And then you sliped in the humour at the end, to lighten things up. I'm going to have to remember that "second week of neverwary" saying, I may just have to use that a lot. Don't worry, I'll give credit where it's due!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

haha, glad you have enjoyed it thusfar. I have another chapter in the editor's hands as we speak. As for the second week of neverwary, I stole that from my mom. When we asked her for stuff that's when she said we would be able to afford it. lol

 

 

Cheers,

 

r

 

Date: 05/25/2010 11:44 AM

 

Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Hmm scary stuff coming up. It's a bit mean of Bill and Dorothy to force Mark into coming out to his parents though isn't it?

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Perhaps but remember that we always tend to make judgements based on our own moral value base. For them, they could not even conceive of it causing problems. After all, he is their child. Perhaps he will get lucky.

 

Date: 05/24/2010 04:29 PM

 

Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

That was an utterly awesome chapter. I laughed so much. The first part was hilarious and the image of Jeremy with his hair clasing with his tutu was so funny...and then fabulous diatribe from Jeremy to his father. yeah... i love it.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Hey I got one right for ya! Sweet. I think Elliot is just funny by nature. You know one of those people who just looks at the world from a different direction than the rest of us.

 

He is one of my favorites.

 

 

Date: 05/01/2010 02:39 PM

 

Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: Paya

 

Now that was a pretty intense chapter! I got lost a bit in that camera one camera two but after re-reading it was much clearer... Did I get it right Elliot scored two goals because the goalie wasn't looking at the ball? It's a pity Elliot couldn't go back after that foul. And we still have to wait for the media coverage of this event...

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya a lot happened for sure. Now as to whether Elliott actually made the goals or just wiggled the right way at the right time is unclear. But in either case, I guess you could say he scored.

 

As for going back, I think the rest of the team made a bigger statement.

 

Date: 05/01/2010 04:35 AM

 

Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Clovis

 

Too many good things in this chapter to list. Always after reading your stuff I sigh and say, "If only."

Thanks.

 

Date: 04/25/2010 01:08 AM

 

Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Paya

 

Awwww I can't wait for the match!

 

Date: 04/23/2010 08:20 AM

 

Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Ahhhhh. Awesome chapter. I loved it. It's so sweet and inspirational. I particularly liked the bit where all the people went on stage to say there is hope, there is life after high school, there is a bright future no matter how dark it is now. I think this should happen in every high school

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks, I do too. Wouldn't it be great to grow up and have it completely ok to be who you are?

 

We're getting there but we have a ways to go. But society is normalizing it. Amen to that.

 

Date: 04/21/2010 04:25 AM

 

Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Allerron

 

Great writing, wonderful character development. I just wish that I had had a Connor or Jess when I was in high school, it might have made things easier...

 

Keep up the great writing!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

I agree. When I was ready to come out my brother had just done so. They wanted to "treat him" with shock treatments. It was still considered a mental illness. Needless to say it was a lot of lonely years before I came out.

 

But it is getting better! We have two gay high schools in the US and more on the way. There are Phlag and LGBT groups in schools and they are cracking down on hate speech and bullying. These kids are now being taught tollerance. Their kids will know acceptence!

 

 

Thanks for the kudos!

 

Date: 04/07/2010 10:32 PM

 

Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Paya

 

I'm sooo excited about the Operation tutu!

 

And I'd smack Jan for the "girls" remark too!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

haha, Yes I have no doubt that you would. lol

 

I love all my character but the subtle banter between these two can sometime be so sweet and sometimes so slapstick. They are playful that way.

 

Thanks!

 

Date: 04/03/2010 12:43 PM

 

Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Clovis

 

Very nice!!! this is the sort of feel good tale I like.

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya but you wouldn't wan't it so sweet that your teeth hurt after reading it.

 

Date: 04/03/2010 05:55 AM

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Wyndham

 

Powerful stuff, and great fun too. It's all a little bit too good to be true of course, but I suppose that's why this is fiction.

 

It would have been so nice if things had been like this at my school!

 

Author's Response:

 

I agree. It would have been nice for me too. But we are getting there. There are now GLBT clubs in most schools and they are desensatizing society to the gay couple. It is long over due. We now have at least two predominantly gay High schools in the US. New York and Chicago. More to cum. (ooops) come.

 

It can be this way. We just have to insist that it is. This story has given at least five young people the strength to come out. Luckily they have all been successful and happy. I'm very proud of that even though it was never planned.

 

We just need to kick the machismo and show that gay men and women can be anyone in any size shape and color and that they don't molest kids or hang out in school yards wearing yellow raincoats with a bag of candy in their hands.

 

thanks.

 

 

Date: 03/14/2010 02:13 PM

 

Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

WOW. Awesome chapter. The part where Jan walked was so inspiring and Operation Tutu sounds .... fabulous dahling

 

Date: 03/14/2010 07:29 AM

 

Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: jhol7689

 

omg loved it!! Ha ha justice served! =D

 

 

Author's Response:

 

History belongs to the victor. What can I say.

 

He needed hitting!

 

Date: 03/10/2010 01:46 AM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: jhol7689

 

This has got to be one of the cutest love stories iv come acrost=]

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks so much. 5 people now have told me they found the strength to come out from this story. How cool is that!

 

 

Date: 03/09/2010 11:50 PM

 

Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Paya

 

This story gets better and better! I love the interplay between the guys and their moms And it was nice to see the players at school start to be supportive, even though Elliot is over-playing his gay part! I can't wait till Elliot gets to playing actually. Watching Jan then is going to be unforgettable! And the hot sex after the match... hmmm...

 

Note to the editor: Glad to see you here! You're helping Ricky make this story even better - and that bar is really high already! Now to make up for your sin you have to help us press Ricky release next chapters ASAP!

 

Date: 03/06/2010 05:51 AM

 

Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

That was worth waiting for. How soon before the six of them have an orgy? Fun fun fun. And as for your editor... I think we'll forgive him *hugs*

 

Date: 03/06/2010 05:18 AM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: iguanacoosbay

 

I just fell in love with your two boys. I know they are headed for heartache, but I have a good feeling about them!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Well I like sweet stories but I hate it when they are so sweet that your teeth hurt when you are done. So ya, there are a few bumps in the road. But so far I'm happy with them.

 

Date: 03/06/2010 12:18 AM

 

Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: PArchment of love

 

Wonderful as aslways Ricky! Funny too!

 

Date: 03/05/2010 09:40 PM

 

Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Clovis

 

Too cute! I always wanted a giant dick, until i realised they drain the brain of blood....

 

Author's Response:

 

I know what you mean. I prayed for a big dick when I was a kid and got one. Mom married him when I was 14.

 

Date: 02/21/2010 08:34 PM

 

Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Way to go to built tension and end it with a laugh. I want to go to one of those parties.... for the pizza of course

 

 

Author's Response:

 

They might get a clue when you order the peperoni uncut!

 

Date: 02/21/2010 06:16 AM

 

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Elezbed

 

I am going to be a little hard... You should read your story because the people don't have the name they should have, expecially in this chapter... And it would help the story ^^!

 

Author's Response:

 

Hi Elezbed.

 

Don't apologize. I am profoundly dyslexic and that is one of the things that gets me. Not an excuse mind you just an explaination. Mark my editor usually catches them but I have been revising as I bring the chapters here. My apologies and thanks for pointing it out. I want it to be a pleasant read and nothing bursts the buble of fantasy more than a mistake like that. I will go through it now.

 

 

Cheers,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 02/05/2010 10:54 AM

 

Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Clovis

 

"You see, you aren't looking at this the right way. This isn't about them. This is about you. Don't you think you deserve to be happy?"

This should be every school's motto...

Ah... if only.... makes me all weepy and sentimental.

 

Author's Response:

 

Good! I think good writing should make you exercise ALL of your emotional muscles at one time or another. And I quite agree although I didn't write this with an agenda.

 

This Story has helped at least three people come out to their families. I know of no greater praise.

 

Thanks Rigby. I'll be getting caught up on Dancing Bare Saturday. I can't wait I am so far behind and I have to know what happens next.

 

 

Cheers,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 02/04/2010 08:11 PM

 

Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Awww.... Elliott and Jan should set up a gay dating agency...they obviously have a talent... we ell Elliott does, not so sure about Jan

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya but is outing people such a good talent? I mean sheesh! He's a freaking walking billboard with an arrow. So the big question is how will the 'rents take it? And will it out Gil too?

 

Date: 02/04/2010 11:35 AM

 

Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Clovis

 

loved it! Retribution is such a wonderful thing. quite made my day!

 

Date: 01/24/2010 07:17 PM

 

Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Two children in the pool!!! How funny was that!!! You, sir are guilty of lulling us into a false sense of security before the shit hit the fan. Sweet scene with Grainger... awesome moves. It's kind of worrying what the fallout from the Jock is going to be though

 

 

Author's Response:

 

You can see that Elliot has a wicked sense of humor. Poor Jan I think is just out classed in that department. I think the Jock may show up again. Like a bad penny they always do.

 

Date: 01/24/2010 11:45 AM

 

Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: David McLeod

 

Elliot's relationship with Karen has promise. Mr. Harcourt's position and motivation has promise. Mr. Granger's position and motivation has promise. (Yes, "has" not "have": position and motivation, here, are a single concept.) The boy's relationship has promise. Whoops! That promise has ben fulfilled. Heck, the whose story has promise.

 

Date: 01/24/2010 09:50 AM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: David McLeod

 

A friendship between two boys is going to be hard enough; a friendship based on a lie "ain't goin' anywhere." Ricky reminds us of this elegantly through Elliot and Jan. The coincidences that link these boys almost makes one believe in (or wish for) karma. Elliot's accusation ("...I guess you really are a cripple, but it has nothing to do with your foot.") opens the story to even deeper meaning than we've already experienced.

 

Date: 01/24/2010 09:39 AM

 

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Paya

 

Oh that was such a nice chapter! I'm sooo glad they enjoy their love both ways. Some authors tend to slip into stereotypes, like the bigger one, the jock type, the older one, the preppy one are made "top" and their bottoming counterparts are those nerdy small types, etc. I'm really glad their relationship seems to be balanced, equal, that they both enjoy their love and sex both ways. Great work Ricky!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Date: 01/18/2010 12:18 PM

 

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Awesome. I really love this story. It's great fun and also sweet and gentle. I like it some.

 

Date: 01/18/2010 10:30 AM

 

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: PArchment of love

 

Great work as always Ricky!

 

Date: 01/17/2010 11:30 PM

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: David McLeod

 

What great wordsmithing! Consider, for example, "Jeffrey...looked like he would have to cut his wrists for his face color to come back." And, "Oh, God he has given them license to look! "Phrases, ideas, concepts, ways of expressing the commonplace in lyric language: all these things make the story a delight to read.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks David, coming from a master wordsmyth that means more to me than you could possibly imagine.

 

 

Cheers!

 

Date: 01/17/2010 11:18 AM

 

Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Hehe. Busted!! Fabulous chapter. Loving it. I LOVED Jan's speech to the teacher... awesome stuff.. the things kids say !!!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya, false courage. Then to find out that you did what you thought was already done! Ouch. The next chapter is priceless. One of my favorites.

 

Date: 01/14/2010 11:22 AM

 

Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Paya

 

That's an evil cliffhanger! :-o Now you MUST post the next chapter MUCH earlier!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

What? Cliff hanger? Me? Well ok it is a little one. The naext chapter is really something too. You'll get to see a lot of banter between the wee ones that is a lot of fun.

 

 

Thanks for the great review.

 

r

 

Date: 01/14/2010 03:02 AM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: John Doe

 

Heh cute story so far. Waiting to read more. At first I thought there was gonna be some bom chicka wah wah stuff happening with the coach and then I breathed in relief when there wasn't. LOL.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Uh ya, not in one of my stories. The fat old guys stay with the fat old guys. No mixed relationships. I'm a prude and don't approve. 2 years on either side max.

 

No worries there at all. But it was a very useful tease and I have no problem teasing that way.

 

Date: 01/12/2010 02:14 PM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: falling into the story

 

Thank you I'm enjoying reading this story. Elliot and Jan are very interesting characters.

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks so very much. I hope I continue to entertain you.

 

Cheers,

 

r

 

Date: 01/11/2010 11:57 PM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Headwind

 

Whille I have gotten confused with whcih person you were writing in (first or third when it came to Elliot, I love the story. Looking forward to reading more.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks, Headwind. I've had that mentioned. I did see one spot I am sure there are more. I'm profoundly dyslexic. So I think I'll sic my editor on it. I probably wouldn't know first party if the third party slapped the second party out of me.

 

 

But thanks!

 

r

 

Date: 01/10/2010 06:58 PM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Paya

 

This was much easier to read! I think you got it now!

 

Uhm... if I got it right, Elliot's 12 and Jan 14, isn't that a little bit early for sex? I mean the characters seem to be so mature you could surely push them some two or four years up... I'm saying that also because there are some members that don't like early teens having sex and even if the rules are somewhat loose for stories, they can still prude about child pornography. So to be safe, please, give it a thought.

 

OH and the last one - how do you pronounce Jan? For me it's like Yan.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks for the review. Jan is pronounced with a soft 'a' so it would be like jam only with an 'n'.

 

The age of maturity varies from individule to individule. For me it was quite early for example. Barely into double digits. I would consider changing it however I am 12 chapters into the story and it would damage the time line a great deal more than I am willing to correct. So the prudes will have to get over it. This was a time of life where sex was passion driven with wreckless abandonment. And oft time quite ineffectually committed I might add. But it didn't stop us from trying.

 

Date: 01/10/2010 05:49 AM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: PArchment of love

 

I'm loving this story and I have to say it is one of my favorites. I'm dying to know where it is going to go. I also love how well well your characters have devloped in just the first two chapters. Great work I can't wait to read more!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks so much. It is a fun one. TIC is fun but a different way. The banter between Jan and Elliot can sometimes be delightful. There is a lot of fun yet to cum.

 

I'm about to read Always. I just opened it when my email said I had a review. Too funny.

 

Date: 01/10/2010 03:17 AM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: MikeL

 

Very good start to your story, Ricky. I agree with Pavel's points about the changing viewpoints and first vs. third person. Some work there will make it read more smoothly.

 

Very neat ending...unexpected.

 

Author's Response:

 

I'll read through it again. Being dyslexic I could look at it a million times and still miss it however. But we'll give it a shot. I've got 12 more chapters already.

 

Thanks for the good review.

 

Cheers,

 

R

 

Date: 01/07/2010 07:00 PM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Paya

 

A really nice story! Does it continue? The only thing that was disturbing was the frequent changing of the point of view without proper notice who's talking or thinking it. You switch among people AND first or third person, that makes it complicated to read smoothly.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks Paya. So glad you enjoyed it. I use speech tags when ever it changes and a new person enters or where it may be confusing generaly. However, I'm a firm beliver in not making it cluttered with them when you only have two people present. I'll read through it again and see if I can see any of those. I am profoundly dyslexic so maybe I missed some. But thanks for the advice. I am always trying to improve. I'll look through it again for third person as well.

 

And yes, I am working on the 13th chapter as I write this.

 

Date: 01/07/2010 06:23 PM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

What a sweet start. A very unusual story and one that has such a lot of potential. Looking forward to seeing where that leads.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Oh this one is fun. I'm 12 chapters into it and I find myself laughing out loud at some of the things they tell me to write. Too funny. And Jan and Elliot are a real pair. Elliot is just twisted enough to make Jan Crazy regularly. The line, ". . .Just since Tuesday, before that I was downright homely." Brought me to tears laughing so hard when I wrote it.

 

What's that you say? Conceited? Laughing over my own work? Non-sense. It's more like channeling I think. Once they draw breath I work for them!

 

More to come. Thanks!

 

 

r

 

Date: 01/07/2010 05:32 AM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: hh5

 

hey this is really good. sure has got me wanting to read more.

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks so much. this is a real fun one. I was getting worried, 174 views and no one said anything. Usually on the first chapter you will get something. But then again it's hump day.

 

Thanks you saved the day.

 

Date: 01/06/2010 11:22 PM

 

 

 

 

[uncguy100]

Great story. Once I got past chapter 3, I couldn't stop!!

Reviews From the before Time: (De-emoticoned - They have a limit, did you know?)

PS - A new Chapter Coming as soon as Surfgrommet gets off his surfboard / butt!

 

Roll Call Reviews

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 18 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

That was very interesting with all the different reactions from parents. Tanner is one smart young man. I still think you are a bit too metaphorical on the sex scenes, I'm sure you could be more straightforward if you tried It does tend to put me off I have to admit. Other than that this is just as good if not better than all the other chapters I've loved

 

 

Author's Response:

 

One rauchy sex scene coming right up! I mean, what the hell, it's almost Christmas anyways right? And actually the real Tanner aka Surfgrommet, said he would more than likely have just slapped her up side the head with the damn book and see if that shook anything loose.

 

Happy Holidays!

 

Date: 12/01/2010 06:19 AM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: DarkPrince

 

OMG i love this story it always keeps me begging for more. Thanks ricky for an adorable story. cannot wait till the next chapter.

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks so very much. It has been one of my favorites too. Elliot is just so likeable and Jan so cute and lovable. The combination will be a strong pair and an unbeatable couple.

 

 

Cheers!

 

r

 

Date: 12/01/2010 03:12 AM

 

Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: JimCarter

 

I love the story. you have made the boys perfect for each other.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Even perfect love is bound to have some bumps. Eh?

 

Thanks

 

r

 

Date: 10/25/2010 01:37 PM

 

Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: phana14

 

Well wasn't that a special treat!

 

A wonderful chapter AND *ghost* writers in the pool (and elsewhere.) hehe

 

I really like the idea that you (Ricky) are mentoring these guys. Yeah, I cheated this time and read *reviews* first.

 

But you know what? Just BECAUSE I knew that Tanner and Ryan were the authors of this particular segment of your story made it SO much more realistic! This time I wasn't reading a fantasy (not that there is ANYTHING wrong with that ), it made it easier to *see* it as real life.

 

Thanks to Ricky, Tanner (sg) and Ryan! *hugsXa billion!!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

So glad you liked it. I've passed the platitudes on to the right folks. And it was very kind of them to loan their love to my story.

 

Cheers,

 

R

 

Date: 08/31/2010 04:36 PM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: hh5

 

Ok so its wait and see how the producers of Oprah wish to tackle this issue. I must say it probably do better than News casters themselves since there can be questionable tactics to make news. Now I still have to worry about Men abusing Sheep and calling themselves Men.

 

Author's Response:

 

Hey, when it's bed time, some people count them jumping over a fence. Others grab one and hump them on the fence. We all get to sleep in our own way and I'll not fault them for their desire to have hands full of curls while they . . . burn testosterone and energy to try and get a good nights rest.

 

Well, . . . at least I won't say anything Baaaaaad.

 

Cheers,

Ricky

 

Date: 08/29/2010 02:57 PM

 

Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: hh5

 

I looked at the Eliot and Jan part of the chapter. Not the rest. I find it pretty risky in that interview to the point of needing a lawyer or a parent to let the kid know what the risk in a talk show. Still there is potential for fall out from Oprah or CNN ... I hope you will paint the reality ... I forgot what state this story takes place is it California or the east coast? Because location does increase the risk. I am sure they are not in the bible belt.

 

Author's Response:

 

The story takes place in West Virginia where the men are men and the sheep are nervous. This is fiction and so is the interview. If they complain I'll change it to an unknown. But I don't think it shows an endorsement or a rebuttle on the issue of being gay. In short, I think this is how she would have handled it. As for the legalities, I agree and that is why there is no audience and it is taped. It could be edited if needed and as you will see later, the issue of them being minors is dealt with when the show is broadcast.

 

Thanks Harold!

Ricky

 

Date: 08/29/2010 01:55 PM

 

Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

That was so sweet. Keeper of my soul. WOW. You are getting poetic dude. I don't quite know what it was about this chapter compared to the previous ones but it really seemed to pop for me. I loved it, just loved it. The Oprah interview was so funny and it just got better from there. Awesome one.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

you don't think it could be the two young ladies in love so publically just after executing their favorite sport, male bashing, could it? I mean, he did have it coming along with a severe smashing of his face once or twice on the table. God, some guys can be such dicks.

 

And thanks. And you might tell Surfgrommet you liked his contribution. He is Tanner and his boyfriend is Ryan. They wrote their love scene.

 

Beautiful isn't it?

 

 

Cheers,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 08/29/2010 07:11 AM

 

Title: Chapter 17 Reviewer: Clovis

 

Oprah, no less... great interview... and the rest -- well you know you're the master...

Now I've a wank fantasy for tonight. Thanks.

 

Author's Response:

 

Like you really need a fantasy. Your life is a fantasy for the rest of the wishing world. And you have your very own fantsy laying next to you. I should BE so fantasyless!

 

Cheers my dear friend.

 

Ricky

 

Date: 08/29/2010 12:11 AM

 

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: johnnyjon2008

 

Hi,

 

This chapter brings out the love all parents should have for their children. If our world had such supportive loving parents as Karen and Renee gay children would be safe. All the best reason for the loving f**k scene at the end. What better celebration of love than the total giving of each other's bodies to one another than the erotic coupling of Elliot and Jan. Bring it on!

 

Thanks,

 

Randy

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya, I agree. It is one of the things I really enjoy writing about is the total and complete commitment. true love. Does it exist? I'd like to think so. But even true love must be worked at to be maintained.

 

So glad you are enjoying it. Thanks so much. Your words and enjoyment really make writing it and sharing it worthwhile.

 

Cheers, Ricky

 

Date: 08/21/2010 04:43 AM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: johnnyjon2008

 

A really great story with some very creative twists. It is captivating as well as very sexy!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Date: 08/20/2010 05:01 PM

 

Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: Douw

 

Really cool chapter! I loved the taser part!

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya, I did too. That's why I went back for seconds. lol.

 

From the comments I think we might be able to get it into the next oylimpics.

 

Date: 08/17/2010 03:07 PM

 

Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: TomasG

 

Another great chapter!

 

Glad to see McAllister get hers. I can think of several in RL that it would be a great bit of 'shocking' entertainment to see their sorry asses tazed 2 or 3 or more times before being dropped in a pile of manure like the pieces of excrement that they are.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya it was sweet, wasn't it? She was such a Bette Davis.

 

There will always be butt heads in RL. I'm finding that unlike the old days when cowering was the best thing to do, today the way to deal with them is to call them on it. Make them stand up and be counted amongst their peers. Many suddenly don't remain so bold and actually cower when you repeat what they said to you loudly. The effect is that everyone looks at them, not sure what is going on. What the idiot reads in their faces is not support so they lose ground rapidly thinking they have no support.

 

Try it. Get a snide comment. Stop and turn around and say, "What You think I'm a faggot? What's it too ya if I was? Are you really that ignorant? SHeesh! Get an education." Then just freeze, who ever blinks next loses. Watch him run.

 

Mc Allister was fun.

 

Thanks, Ricky

 

Date: 08/15/2010 04:47 PM

 

Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Glad to see this up at last.

 

First thing that struck me was the first part. I was completely with you right up to the point when Mr Steiner told Karen about what Ellen McAllister said about Elliott. I don't know quite why she freaked so competely on him I mean one minute she was holding his hands and he seemed to be coming round and he had relaxed enough to start talking to her reasonably...ish and the next she's saying she wishes she had handed his wife the tablets to kill herself... i'm really not sure I get that switch.

 

twitching pile of incontinence OH GOD I love that phrase.

 

I loved this chapter. The letter had me in tears. The facts and figures were shockers. Only you could weave something a important as this into an extremely enjoyable story. Awesome.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Hi Nephy, So glad you enjoyed the read. And thanks for the flowers.

 

Now, regarding why Karen turned on Mr. Steiner. She was cutting him some slack, he was all over the place. One moment remourseful the next accusatory. That one needs some therapy and I know just the person to get him som. "Me". And all Karen needed to hear was that homophobe woman's name speaking against her boy and I suppose she wanted to do to Ellen what she had done to Granger, crush her windpipe. Mr. Steiner was all but saying that Elliot raped his little boy and made him queer. Something that Ellen had eluded to when she spoke to Mr. Steiner. As if he needed his head any more messed up.

 

How would you be if someone threatened or bad mouthed one of your cubs? I wouldn't want to even be around when you went off. I think there would be a defined blast zone. And we won't even speak on what legal things you'd think up to tie up any assets the perp may have had.

 

Cheers! Ricky

 

Date: 08/15/2010 11:48 AM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Philibert

 

VERY sweet. Wonderful atunement between our boys.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thank you. Maybe a little altrueistic but it's fantasy right? Hope I keep your attention.

 

Caution: The boys as well as the boys in TIC are addictive. You've been warned.

 

 

Cheers,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 08/15/2010 12:08 AM

 

Title: Chapter 16 Reviewer: phana14

 

Okeedokee!

 

I've been out of touch with this story for some time, so I read chapter 15 over first. The interesting thing that I noticed in that chapter was that even though four boys were introduced immediately, it only took a few lines for me to fall right back into the story (plot). Almost instantaneously.

 

That says tons about the author.

 

And Ricky, I have to tell you that several times in this last chapter my fingers were tightly intertwined and pressing against my heart while they were taking a salt bath.

 

Thanks, you!!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

I'm glad it made your heart go pitter patter, pitter patter. Yes the story is taking on a little more baggage and letting some fade back into their own lives. At least for a time.

 

Sorry I had been gone so long but events just occured that made it neccesary. But hopefully it will be getting better and chapters will be more forthcoming.

 

Thanks for the flowers,

 

Cheers. (A salt bath . . . really? I must be losing it. I don't remember it.)

 

Ricky

 

Date: 08/14/2010 04:22 PM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Avid

 

this one had me laughing my head off . now it did address some top issues but it did it with humor. orginal characters that mesh well and keep you reading. a gotta read

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Glad you like it. I have so much fun writing them. I hope you stay amused.

 

 

Cheers,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 08/11/2010 07:13 PM

 

Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Paya

 

OK, these last three chapters I've just read sound scary... The only consolation is that those bigots are really dumbf**ks and blow up the wrong car - and that the trailer is empty for a long time. I hope the Legal Office made arrangements for that old broad to be sacked for good.

 

Otherwise I'm eager to hear more from Jeremy and Jess! A new couple to care about! On the other hand... there hasn't been much sex lately... that almost doesn't sound like ricky's stories :-o

 

 

Author's Response:

 

haha, Thanks. It is coming honest. And you know I like happy endings and we have a ways to go yet for that. And yes, a new and interesting couple. As for the sex, at the pleading of the public, a few needed to heal up. Seems they were a little too raw from too much reading so I thought perhaps a "little" cooling off period was in order. Besides, too much and it loses it's special meaning. Remember, my boys don't have sex, they make love.

 

 

Thanks,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 08/09/2010 06:45 AM

 

Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Jared

 

Ricky, Oh My God I loved this the same amount as I loved T.I.C and Blind Sensations (1&2) .... There will be more? I love all your stories

 

Author's Response:

 

Yes and thank you. Mark my editor has two more chapters now so soon. I hope you still say that after reading, "The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of".

 

lol

 

Soon. Honest.

 

Ricky

 

Date: 07/30/2010 04:30 PM

 

Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

hehehe. That was great. I'm going to post on your thread.

 

Date: 07/18/2010 01:22 PM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Hey, I enjoyed this a lot. I left a comment on the forum as addressed above.

 

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks. I'll go see it. That moves the page to the front of the forum again. Great for exposure. Thank you.

 

Date: 07/17/2010 03:23 AM

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Hello,

 

It's not very often as story sucks me in from the first couple of paragraphs. This one did. I couldn't stop reading. This was fantastic. I love everything about it so far, one thought I had was that this would be ultra cool in the first person--and sticking to the one POV. It would make me feel even closer to Elliot.

 

Cool,

 

Anyta

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks. I hope it keeps you sucked in. I have considered trying to do a story in the first person but I am so used to looking through the eyes of the one speaking that I don't know that I could do it. First person is a very tough thing for me to read or write. I am so profoundly dyslexic that I use a screen reader for reading anything longer than a note as I follow along reading the text. Perhaps one day.

 

Right now I prefer it to be a conversation I think. I have had five readers who have read this story decide to come out because of it. So if it works, I don't think I'll try and fix it.

 

I have found that when first person stories change to first person but a different person. It bugs me. It's alright when done consistiently in the one POV but switching just turns me off. I have to try and establish a persona different than I was prepared for when I came to read. So if I do one first person, it would only be one person. But in my mind, that really limits the scope of the story so it will have to be a very special storyline.

 

Thanks for taking the time to comment. It's always appreciated. I always try and find ways to become a better writer and welcome any critisism that helps me along those lines. I've come a long ways since I started in Nov of 2007. But I have a long ways yet to go. I read things like Mark Arbour's HMS series and David McLeod and it keeps me humble.

 

Thanks so much and cheers,

Ricky

 

Date: 07/15/2010 05:50 AM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Remijay

 

Your story is awesome...ITs so adorable i like it...Keep it up ! Hugz * Kizzes ^Remijay^ :-)

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks. I love this age bracket because of theraging innocence and the blind passion of discovery. I think it was a really exciting time to be alive. I like to keep it real too, so into every life a little rain must fall. But they tell me what to write and that is what I do.

 

Thanks for the flowers!

 

Cheers,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 06/25/2010 02:25 PM

 

Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Oh hell The dynamite thing is scary as hell, especially when everything else is going so well. Don't keep us in suspence too long.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

No worries, the next chapter is in Mark's (My editor) hands now.

 

I hope Mark Arbour doesn't mind being mentioned. I thought it was pretty cool but then afterwards I got to thinking that he may not want his name associated with this segment of the genre.

 

Date: 06/24/2010 02:17 AM

 

Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: hh5

 

Hey the coach been quiet??

 

Gosh what will happen when the trailer blows up and the worst if someone gets killed or imjured seriously.

 

Gosh - phanatics out there

 

Hate does hurt and worst it can kill - as some one said its all emotional and its not logical.and drama go skyrocketing

 

 

Author's Response:

 

All true statements. Hate never cancels hate. 2 wrongs don't make it right. Each person must keep their own Joojoo.

 

Date: 06/23/2010 01:33 AM

 

Title: Chapter 15 Reviewer: Allerron

 

I hope that I'm not getting my hopes up. There's a lot that's happening in this chpater, and I'm liking it!

 

I'm just hoping for the Crown Vic to go boom, perhaps with someone unplanned for inside...

 

 

Author's Response:

 

I would Never include gratuitous violence. Stay tuned though I have some stuff planned for you. CH 16 is with the editor as I type this.

 

Date: 06/22/2010 10:08 PM

 

Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: Allerron

 

This was a frightening one! The thought of an ed-u-ma-cated redneck scares the crap outta me!

 

I like how the various sub-plots are starting to weave together, I look forward to seeing how things continue to evolve. And, I'm hoping that Ellen McAllister gets dealt with.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Somehow the Ellen McAllister type always get dealt with.

 

Date: 06/13/2010 08:33 AM

 

Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: TomasG

 

Interesting story. I've been following and enjoying it since I found it on nifty.

 

Just out of idol couriosity... why is there a two month gap between the time the chapters are posted on Nifty and they are posted here? April 7th on Nifty and now two months later here for chapter 14.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

To be honest, I just started posting here in DEC. So I had some catching up to do. They are even now so they should post at the same time. I actually thought I had 14 posted everyplace and discovered it was missing here. But it should all be dome at the same time from now on.

 

Date: 06/12/2010 10:53 PM

 

Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Awww... Nice chapter. I hope you appreciate that I feel nervous reading your stories now not knowing who's going to fall off a cliff next

 

Seriously this is getting very very interesting.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Now have I ever pushed anyone off a cliff intentionally? And I have Blind Sensations that even through the peril of the Spy vs Spy no one croaked in. I mean, sheesh kill of one lousy main and you're branded for life.

 

Stay in perspective now, this is a comedy. lol

 

Cheers,

 

r

 

Date: 06/12/2010 01:01 PM

 

Title: Chapter 14 Reviewer: hh5

 

Look forward to 15

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks, working on it. My editor has it and he is getting caught up.

 

 

Cheers,

 

r

 

Date: 06/12/2010 10:29 AM

 

Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Wyndham

 

This story continues to delight.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks, it is so much fun to write. Delightful characters and they can be so funny together sometimes.

 

Date: 06/01/2010 07:53 AM

 

Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Allerron

 

I really enjoyed this chapter, watching new sub-plots being woven through the tale and expecting all sorts of nasty stuff to come. That Ellen McAllister should just be shot with rusty bullets!

 

And then you sliped in the humour at the end, to lighten things up. I'm going to have to remember that "second week of neverwary" saying, I may just have to use that a lot. Don't worry, I'll give credit where it's due!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

haha, glad you have enjoyed it thusfar. I have another chapter in the editor's hands as we speak. As for the second week of neverwary, I stole that from my mom. When we asked her for stuff that's when she said we would be able to afford it. lol

 

 

Cheers,

 

r

 

Date: 05/25/2010 11:44 AM

 

Title: Chapter 13 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Hmm scary stuff coming up. It's a bit mean of Bill and Dorothy to force Mark into coming out to his parents though isn't it?

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Perhaps but remember that we always tend to make judgements based on our own moral value base. For them, they could not even conceive of it causing problems. After all, he is their child. Perhaps he will get lucky.

 

Date: 05/24/2010 04:29 PM

 

Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

That was an utterly awesome chapter. I laughed so much. The first part was hilarious and the image of Jeremy with his hair clasing with his tutu was so funny...and then fabulous diatribe from Jeremy to his father. yeah... i love it.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Hey I got one right for ya! Sweet. I think Elliot is just funny by nature. You know one of those people who just looks at the world from a different direction than the rest of us.

 

He is one of my favorites.

 

 

Date: 05/01/2010 02:39 PM

 

Title: Chapter 12 Reviewer: Paya

 

Now that was a pretty intense chapter! I got lost a bit in that camera one camera two but after re-reading it was much clearer... Did I get it right Elliot scored two goals because the goalie wasn't looking at the ball? It's a pity Elliot couldn't go back after that foul. And we still have to wait for the media coverage of this event...

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya a lot happened for sure. Now as to whether Elliott actually made the goals or just wiggled the right way at the right time is unclear. But in either case, I guess you could say he scored.

 

As for going back, I think the rest of the team made a bigger statement.

 

Date: 05/01/2010 04:35 AM

 

Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Clovis

 

Too many good things in this chapter to list. Always after reading your stuff I sigh and say, "If only."

Thanks.

 

Date: 04/25/2010 01:08 AM

 

Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Paya

 

Awwww I can't wait for the match!

 

Date: 04/23/2010 08:20 AM

 

Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Ahhhhh. Awesome chapter. I loved it. It's so sweet and inspirational. I particularly liked the bit where all the people went on stage to say there is hope, there is life after high school, there is a bright future no matter how dark it is now. I think this should happen in every high school

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks, I do too. Wouldn't it be great to grow up and have it completely ok to be who you are?

 

We're getting there but we have a ways to go. But society is normalizing it. Amen to that.

 

Date: 04/21/2010 04:25 AM

 

Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Allerron

 

Great writing, wonderful character development. I just wish that I had had a Connor or Jess when I was in high school, it might have made things easier...

 

Keep up the great writing!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

I agree. When I was ready to come out my brother had just done so. They wanted to "treat him" with shock treatments. It was still considered a mental illness. Needless to say it was a lot of lonely years before I came out.

 

But it is getting better! We have two gay high schools in the US and more on the way. There are Phlag and LGBT groups in schools and they are cracking down on hate speech and bullying. These kids are now being taught tollerance. Their kids will know acceptence!

 

 

Thanks for the kudos!

 

Date: 04/07/2010 10:32 PM

 

Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Paya

 

I'm sooo excited about the Operation tutu!

 

And I'd smack Jan for the "girls" remark too!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

haha, Yes I have no doubt that you would. lol

 

I love all my character but the subtle banter between these two can sometime be so sweet and sometimes so slapstick. They are playful that way.

 

Thanks!

 

Date: 04/03/2010 12:43 PM

 

Title: Chapter 10 Reviewer: Clovis

 

Very nice!!! this is the sort of feel good tale I like.

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya but you wouldn't wan't it so sweet that your teeth hurt after reading it.

 

Date: 04/03/2010 05:55 AM

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Wyndham

 

Powerful stuff, and great fun too. It's all a little bit too good to be true of course, but I suppose that's why this is fiction.

 

It would have been so nice if things had been like this at my school!

 

Author's Response:

 

I agree. It would have been nice for me too. But we are getting there. There are now GLBT clubs in most schools and they are desensatizing society to the gay couple. It is long over due. We now have at least two predominantly gay High schools in the US. New York and Chicago. More to cum. (ooops) come.

 

It can be this way. We just have to insist that it is. This story has given at least five young people the strength to come out. Luckily they have all been successful and happy. I'm very proud of that even though it was never planned.

 

We just need to kick the machismo and show that gay men and women can be anyone in any size shape and color and that they don't molest kids or hang out in school yards wearing yellow raincoats with a bag of candy in their hands.

 

thanks.

 

 

Date: 03/14/2010 02:13 PM

 

Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

WOW. Awesome chapter. The part where Jan walked was so inspiring and Operation Tutu sounds .... fabulous dahling

 

Date: 03/14/2010 07:29 AM

 

Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: jhol7689

 

omg loved it!! Ha ha justice served! =D

 

 

Author's Response:

 

History belongs to the victor. What can I say.

 

He needed hitting!

 

Date: 03/10/2010 01:46 AM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: jhol7689

 

This has got to be one of the cutest love stories iv come acrost=]

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks so much. 5 people now have told me they found the strength to come out from this story. How cool is that!

 

 

Date: 03/09/2010 11:50 PM

 

Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Paya

 

This story gets better and better! I love the interplay between the guys and their moms And it was nice to see the players at school start to be supportive, even though Elliot is over-playing his gay part! I can't wait till Elliot gets to playing actually. Watching Jan then is going to be unforgettable! And the hot sex after the match... hmmm...

 

Note to the editor: Glad to see you here! You're helping Ricky make this story even better - and that bar is really high already! Now to make up for your sin you have to help us press Ricky release next chapters ASAP!

 

Date: 03/06/2010 05:51 AM

 

Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

That was worth waiting for. How soon before the six of them have an orgy? Fun fun fun. And as for your editor... I think we'll forgive him *hugs*

 

Date: 03/06/2010 05:18 AM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: iguanacoosbay

 

I just fell in love with your two boys. I know they are headed for heartache, but I have a good feeling about them!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Well I like sweet stories but I hate it when they are so sweet that your teeth hurt when you are done. So ya, there are a few bumps in the road. But so far I'm happy with them.

 

Date: 03/06/2010 12:18 AM

 

Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: PArchment of love

 

Wonderful as aslways Ricky! Funny too!

 

Date: 03/05/2010 09:40 PM

 

Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Clovis

 

Too cute! I always wanted a giant dick, until i realised they drain the brain of blood....

 

Author's Response:

 

I know what you mean. I prayed for a big dick when I was a kid and got one. Mom married him when I was 14.

 

Date: 02/21/2010 08:34 PM

 

Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Way to go to built tension and end it with a laugh. I want to go to one of those parties.... for the pizza of course

 

 

Author's Response:

 

They might get a clue when you order the peperoni uncut!

 

Date: 02/21/2010 06:16 AM

 

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Elezbed

 

I am going to be a little hard... You should read your story because the people don't have the name they should have, expecially in this chapter... And it would help the story ^^!

 

Author's Response:

 

Hi Elezbed.

 

Don't apologize. I am profoundly dyslexic and that is one of the things that gets me. Not an excuse mind you just an explaination. Mark my editor usually catches them but I have been revising as I bring the chapters here. My apologies and thanks for pointing it out. I want it to be a pleasant read and nothing bursts the buble of fantasy more than a mistake like that. I will go through it now.

 

 

Cheers,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 02/05/2010 10:54 AM

 

Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Clovis

 

"You see, you aren't looking at this the right way. This isn't about them. This is about you. Don't you think you deserve to be happy?"

This should be every school's motto...

Ah... if only.... makes me all weepy and sentimental.

 

Author's Response:

 

Good! I think good writing should make you exercise ALL of your emotional muscles at one time or another. And I quite agree although I didn't write this with an agenda.

 

This Story has helped at least three people come out to their families. I know of no greater praise.

 

Thanks Rigby. I'll be getting caught up on Dancing Bare Saturday. I can't wait I am so far behind and I have to know what happens next.

 

 

Cheers,

 

Ricky

 

Date: 02/04/2010 08:11 PM

 

Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Awww.... Elliott and Jan should set up a gay dating agency...they obviously have a talent... we ell Elliott does, not so sure about Jan

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya but is outing people such a good talent? I mean sheesh! He's a freaking walking billboard with an arrow. So the big question is how will the 'rents take it? And will it out Gil too?

 

Date: 02/04/2010 11:35 AM

 

Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Clovis

 

loved it! Retribution is such a wonderful thing. quite made my day!

 

Date: 01/24/2010 07:17 PM

 

Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Two children in the pool!!! How funny was that!!! You, sir are guilty of lulling us into a false sense of security before the shit hit the fan. Sweet scene with Grainger... awesome moves. It's kind of worrying what the fallout from the Jock is going to be though

 

 

Author's Response:

 

You can see that Elliot has a wicked sense of humor. Poor Jan I think is just out classed in that department. I think the Jock may show up again. Like a bad penny they always do.

 

Date: 01/24/2010 11:45 AM

 

Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: David McLeod

 

Elliot's relationship with Karen has promise. Mr. Harcourt's position and motivation has promise. Mr. Granger's position and motivation has promise. (Yes, "has" not "have": position and motivation, here, are a single concept.) The boy's relationship has promise. Whoops! That promise has ben fulfilled. Heck, the whose story has promise.

 

Date: 01/24/2010 09:50 AM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: David McLeod

 

A friendship between two boys is going to be hard enough; a friendship based on a lie "ain't goin' anywhere." Ricky reminds us of this elegantly through Elliot and Jan. The coincidences that link these boys almost makes one believe in (or wish for) karma. Elliot's accusation ("...I guess you really are a cripple, but it has nothing to do with your foot.") opens the story to even deeper meaning than we've already experienced.

 

Date: 01/24/2010 09:39 AM

 

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Paya

 

Oh that was such a nice chapter! I'm sooo glad they enjoy their love both ways. Some authors tend to slip into stereotypes, like the bigger one, the jock type, the older one, the preppy one are made "top" and their bottoming counterparts are those nerdy small types, etc. I'm really glad their relationship seems to be balanced, equal, that they both enjoy their love and sex both ways. Great work Ricky!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Date: 01/18/2010 12:18 PM

 

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Awesome. I really love this story. It's great fun and also sweet and gentle. I like it some.

 

Date: 01/18/2010 10:30 AM

 

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: PArchment of love

 

Great work as always Ricky!

 

Date: 01/17/2010 11:30 PM

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: David McLeod

 

What great wordsmithing! Consider, for example, "Jeffrey...looked like he would have to cut his wrists for his face color to come back." And, "Oh, God he has given them license to look! "Phrases, ideas, concepts, ways of expressing the commonplace in lyric language: all these things make the story a delight to read.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks David, coming from a master wordsmyth that means more to me than you could possibly imagine.

 

 

Cheers!

 

Date: 01/17/2010 11:18 AM

 

Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

Hehe. Busted!! Fabulous chapter. Loving it. I LOVED Jan's speech to the teacher... awesome stuff.. the things kids say !!!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Ya, false courage. Then to find out that you did what you thought was already done! Ouch. The next chapter is priceless. One of my favorites.

 

Date: 01/14/2010 11:22 AM

 

Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Paya

 

That's an evil cliffhanger! :-o Now you MUST post the next chapter MUCH earlier!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

What? Cliff hanger? Me? Well ok it is a little one. The naext chapter is really something too. You'll get to see a lot of banter between the wee ones that is a lot of fun.

 

 

Thanks for the great review.

 

r

 

Date: 01/14/2010 03:02 AM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: John Doe

 

Heh cute story so far. Waiting to read more. At first I thought there was gonna be some bom chicka wah wah stuff happening with the coach and then I breathed in relief when there wasn't. LOL.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Uh ya, not in one of my stories. The fat old guys stay with the fat old guys. No mixed relationships. I'm a prude and don't approve. 2 years on either side max.

 

No worries there at all. But it was a very useful tease and I have no problem teasing that way.

 

Date: 01/12/2010 02:14 PM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: falling into the story

 

Thank you I'm enjoying reading this story. Elliot and Jan are very interesting characters.

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks so very much. I hope I continue to entertain you.

 

Cheers,

 

r

 

Date: 01/11/2010 11:57 PM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Headwind

 

Whille I have gotten confused with whcih person you were writing in (first or third when it came to Elliot, I love the story. Looking forward to reading more.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks, Headwind. I've had that mentioned. I did see one spot I am sure there are more. I'm profoundly dyslexic. So I think I'll sic my editor on it. I probably wouldn't know first party if the third party slapped the second party out of me.

 

 

But thanks!

 

r

 

Date: 01/10/2010 06:58 PM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Paya

 

This was much easier to read! I think you got it now!

 

Uhm... if I got it right, Elliot's 12 and Jan 14, isn't that a little bit early for sex? I mean the characters seem to be so mature you could surely push them some two or four years up... I'm saying that also because there are some members that don't like early teens having sex and even if the rules are somewhat loose for stories, they can still prude about child pornography. So to be safe, please, give it a thought.

 

OH and the last one - how do you pronounce Jan? For me it's like Yan.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks for the review. Jan is pronounced with a soft 'a' so it would be like jam only with an 'n'.

 

The age of maturity varies from individule to individule. For me it was quite early for example. Barely into double digits. I would consider changing it however I am 12 chapters into the story and it would damage the time line a great deal more than I am willing to correct. So the prudes will have to get over it. This was a time of life where sex was passion driven with wreckless abandonment. And oft time quite ineffectually committed I might add. But it didn't stop us from trying.

 

Date: 01/10/2010 05:49 AM

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: PArchment of love

 

I'm loving this story and I have to say it is one of my favorites. I'm dying to know where it is going to go. I also love how well well your characters have devloped in just the first two chapters. Great work I can't wait to read more!

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks so much. It is a fun one. TIC is fun but a different way. The banter between Jan and Elliot can sometimes be delightful. There is a lot of fun yet to cum.

 

I'm about to read Always. I just opened it when my email said I had a review. Too funny.

 

Date: 01/10/2010 03:17 AM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: MikeL

 

Very good start to your story, Ricky. I agree with Pavel's points about the changing viewpoints and first vs. third person. Some work there will make it read more smoothly.

 

Very neat ending...unexpected.

 

Author's Response:

 

I'll read through it again. Being dyslexic I could look at it a million times and still miss it however. But we'll give it a shot. I've got 12 more chapters already.

 

Thanks for the good review.

 

Cheers,

 

R

 

Date: 01/07/2010 07:00 PM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Paya

 

A really nice story! Does it continue? The only thing that was disturbing was the frequent changing of the point of view without proper notice who's talking or thinking it. You switch among people AND first or third person, that makes it complicated to read smoothly.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks Paya. So glad you enjoyed it. I use speech tags when ever it changes and a new person enters or where it may be confusing generaly. However, I'm a firm beliver in not making it cluttered with them when you only have two people present. I'll read through it again and see if I can see any of those. I am profoundly dyslexic so maybe I missed some. But thanks for the advice. I am always trying to improve. I'll look through it again for third person as well.

 

And yes, I am working on the 13th chapter as I write this.

 

Date: 01/07/2010 06:23 PM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Nephylim

 

What a sweet start. A very unusual story and one that has such a lot of potential. Looking forward to seeing where that leads.

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Oh this one is fun. I'm 12 chapters into it and I find myself laughing out loud at some of the things they tell me to write. Too funny. And Jan and Elliot are a real pair. Elliot is just twisted enough to make Jan Crazy regularly. The line, ". . .Just since Tuesday, before that I was downright homely." Brought me to tears laughing so hard when I wrote it.

 

What's that you say? Conceited? Laughing over my own work? Non-sense. It's more like channeling I think. Once they draw breath I work for them!

 

More to come. Thanks!

 

 

r

 

Date: 01/07/2010 05:32 AM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: hh5

 

hey this is really good. sure has got me wanting to read more.

 

Author's Response:

 

Thanks so much. this is a real fun one. I was getting worried, 174 views and no one said anything. Usually on the first chapter you will get something. But then again it's hump day.

 

Thanks you saved the day.

 

Date: 01/06/2010 11:22 PM

 

 

 

 

 

[Eric]

Extremely cute story! Can't wait for another chapter!

[Andy78]

I loved this story. Elliott reminds me of my first boyfriend in so many ways - he never had the wiggle, but I guess nobody's perfect.

[option]

any news on this story?

[ricky]

any news on this story?

 

YES! Chapter 22, the final chapter has been posted. Thanks for your patience. Life happenes.

r