Roll Call

[ricky]

This is a little random but are Jan and Elliot exclusive? I think I've lost count the number of guys elliot has turned on wiggling his rear end lol. Nice GA refrence, it made me laugh when Elliot was trying to get the authors name out of Jan. Keep it up, your stories are always worth any wait time

 

lol, All my characters are exclusive. They are all on permanent viagra too. It's called horny teenager.

 

Thanks for the flowers!

cheers,

r

[AnytaSunday]

Well, I just finished reading chapter two.

 

What a lovely story you have here. The emotions are thick and the conflict and tension present. I like the style and think you've captured Elliot and Jan's characters (so far) very nicely.

 

Elliot is very eloquent in dialogue, and sounds much older than he is--but then some people are def. like that. I love how quickly the two boys fall in love and they become the center of each other's worlds. For that age it feel realistic. Actually, I might be a tad jealous of how easily and fully and passionately they fall for each other. Nice stuff.

 

I look forward to reading more.

 

Keep up the awesome writing,

 

Anyta

[ricky]

Well, I just finished reading chapter two.

 

What a lovely story you have here. The emotions are thick and the conflict and tension present. I like the style and think you've captured Elliot and Jan's characters (so far) very nicely.

 

Elliot is very eloquent in dialogue, and sounds much older than he is--but then some people are def. like that. I love how quickly the two boys fall in love and they become the center of each other's worlds. For that age it feel realistic. Actually, I might be a tad jealous of how easily and fully and passionately they fall for each other. Nice stuff.

 

I look forward to reading more.

 

Keep up the awesome writing,

 

Anyta

 

Hi Anyta,

 

Thanks for those kind words. Jan and Elliot are just average teens with average teen problems. As with most gay kids, they tend to be more loners out of fear mostly and that means that many become avid readers. It's so they have a place to go when life sucks. That of course increases one's vocabulary and often, their maturity.

 

But being young teens it also means they often lack subtlety. Passion can be a light switch for them. On full or off. So when they love it is with every neuron they possess.

 

Elliot was fully prepared to spend another year, not only poor but gay and out and alone. Jan wasn't sure about himself but he was. At least down inside he knew. But that type of relationship was out of the question. He just wanted to be loved. He was alone and less than a boy. At least in his mind. He had set his mindset to always being alone because of his injury.

 

The real turning point for both of them was in one phrase by Jan. See if you remember it.

 

"Just since Tuesday. Before that i was just plain homely."

 

That was when they both realized that more could be had. Jan knew someone thought he was beautiful and Elliot knew he misspoke and the boy was still smiling.

 

Things get interesting up ahead. Thanks for commenting. I hope it continues to captivate you.

Cheers,

Ricky

[SurfGrommett]

hey now! im not a loner. im totally subtle and have complete control over my passion

heheh

[ricky]

hey now! im not a loner. im totally subtle and have complete control over my passion

heheh

 

O.o Headed out for a series of shows. Will be scarce most of this week. Try and stay out of trouble while I'm gone.

 

And you are a loner. Together with Ry that is. As for the rest of it,

ROTFLMAO :P

[SurfGrommett]

am not a loner! im a socialite!!! as for the rest...well ok maybe you got me there

[AnytaSunday]

Hey Ricky,

 

Regarding chapter three:

 

Firstly, and most importantly. GREAT STUFF. I enjoy the witty and clever dialogue and yummy passion between Elliot and Jan. (Boy does Jan have guts! Me likes.)

 

Secondly for nit-picky things. Maybe they have been highlighted before, sorry if this is repetitive, but just in case...

 

1) It was noticeable how quickly the class with Mr Granger was over. It felt like they'd just rolled in, and then suddenly the bell rang. Now this isn't a big deal, I just feel a sentence transitioning a bit more time would make that class the right length.

 

2) It seemed like there was a transition sentence missing here: (I'll quote)

 

 

"Let's hobble down to your bedroom and get changed before we're too late."

 

 

 

"Personally, I think I am too upset to go back and we should just stay here and get naked."

 

 

 

"I like that idea too." Elliot said, unbuttoning Jan's shirt. They flopped over on his bed

 

 

---okay, so there was the talk to move, but there wasn't any physical movement to the bed. Maybe a little sentence after Elliots first piece of dialogue there could be added? Something simple like: Actually, I'd remove the 'hobble' from the dialogue and have it:

 

"Let's get to your bedroom and get changed before we're late." They hobbled down to Jan's room. Elliot, opened the door, helping Jan through. "Personally," Jan said, "I think I am....."

 

 

Okay, that's it with the nit-picks. Loved the chapter. I'll get to the fourth one soon. Keep writing,

 

Anyta

[SurfGrommett]

Hey Ricky,

 

Regarding chapter three:

 

Firstly, and most importantly. GREAT STUFF. I enjoy the witty and clever dialogue and yummy passion between Elliot and Jan. (Boy does Jan have guts! Me likes.)

 

Secondly for nit-picky things. Maybe they have been highlighted before, sorry if this is repetitive, but just in case...

 

1) It was noticeable how quickly the class with Mr Granger was over. It felt like they'd just rolled in, and then suddenly the bell rang. Now this isn't a big deal, I just feel a sentence transitioning a bit more time would make that class the right length.

 

2) It seemed like there was a transition sentence missing here: (I'll quote)

 

 

 

 

---okay, so there was the talk to move, but there wasn't any physical movement to the bed. Maybe a little sentence after Elliots first piece of dialogue there could be added? Something simple like: Actually, I'd remove the 'hobble' from the dialogue and have it:

 

"Let's get to your bedroom and get changed before we're late." They hobbled down to Jan's room. Elliot, opened the door, helping Jan through. "Personally," Jan said, "I think I am....."

 

 

Okay, that's it with the nit-picks. Loved the chapter. I'll get to the fourth one soon. Keep writing,

 

Anyta

 

do you have a link to your stories available??

[ricky]

Hey Ricky,

 

Regarding chapter three:

 

Firstly, and most importantly. GREAT STUFF. I enjoy the witty and clever dialogue and yummy passion between Elliot and Jan. (Boy does Jan have guts! Me likes.)

 

Secondly for nit-picky things. Maybe they have been highlighted before, sorry if this is repetitive, but just in case...

 

1) It was noticeable how quickly the class with Mr Granger was over. It felt like they'd just rolled in, and then suddenly the bell rang. Now this isn't a big deal, I just feel a sentence transitioning a bit more time would make that class the right length.

 

2) It seemed like there was a transition sentence missing here: (I'll quote)

 

 

 

 

---okay, so there was the talk to move, but there wasn't any physical movement to the bed. Maybe a little sentence after Elliots first piece of dialogue there could be added? Something simple like: Actually, I'd remove the 'hobble' from the dialogue and have it:

 

"Let's get to your bedroom and get changed before we're late." They hobbled down to Jan's room. Elliot, opened the door, helping Jan through. "Personally," Jan said, "I think I am....."

 

 

Okay, that's it with the nit-picks. Loved the chapter. I'll get to the fourth one soon. Keep writing,

 

Anyta

 

Excellent catches both! And you are absolutely right on both accounts. First chance I get I will rework those. Probably next week.

 

Thanks so much. That is the kind of input I love to get.

[ricky]

do you have a link to your stories available??

 

My Stories

 

TTYL

[SurfGrommett]

My Stories

 

TTYL

 

 

not YOUR stories goof! Anyta's stories!

[ricky]

not YOUR stories goof! Anyta's stories!

 

Oh good. I thought YOU were going senile on me.

 

In Efiction she is Anyta_Sunday

 

She is one of those folks that did not use the same name on both sides of the fence.

[AnytaSunday]

Hey Ricky,

 

Just finished chapter 4. I love the relationship these boys have with their mothers, and even more between the two of them. I look forward to reading more. Great stuff.

[ricky]

Hey Ricky,

 

Regarding chapter three:

 

Firstly, and most importantly. GREAT STUFF. I enjoy the witty and clever dialogue and yummy passion between Elliot and Jan. (Boy does Jan have guts! Me likes.)

 

Secondly for nit-picky things. Maybe they have been highlighted before, sorry if this is repetitive, but just in case...

 

1) It was noticeable how quickly the class with Mr Granger was over. It felt like they'd just rolled in, and then suddenly the bell rang. Now this isn't a big deal, I just feel a sentence transitioning a bit more time would make that class the right length.

 

2) It seemed like there was a transition sentence missing here: (I'll quote)

 

 

 

 

---okay, so there was the talk to move, but there wasn't any physical movement to the bed. Maybe a little sentence after Elliots first piece of dialogue there could be added? Something simple like: Actually, I'd remove the 'hobble' from the dialogue and have it:

 

"Let's get to your bedroom and get changed before we're late." They hobbled down to Jan's room. Elliot, opened the door, helping Jan through. "Personally," Jan said, "I think I am....."

 

 

Okay, that's it with the nit-picks. Loved the chapter. I'll get to the fourth one soon. Keep writing,

 

Anyta

 

 

Hello Anyta,

I reworked the chapter in both parts. You are right, and I think the way it is reads much better. Found a typo too! Had 'loose" where "lose" should have been.

 

Thanks,

Ricky

[kevduenas]

good read

[ricky]

Roll Call CH 16 has been posted

[phana14]

Roll Call CH 16 has been posted

 

Just finished this chapter Ricky. You apparently have a knack or something that allows the reader to file chapter *x* away and not loose continuity until chapter *y* comes along! Good for you!!

For me, this chapter was rather emotional as I always want kids to have a happy life. You have them facing challenges, but then help them sort through everything so that they can HAVE a happy life!

Super addition to a super story!

Thank you Ricky!

[ricky]

Just finished this chapter Ricky. You apparently have a knack or something that allows the reader to file chapter *x* away and not loose continuity until chapter *y* comes along! Good for you!!

For me, this chapter was rather emotional as I always want kids to have a happy life. You have them facing challenges, but then help them sort through everything so that they can HAVE a happy life!

Super addition to a super story!

Thank you Ricky!

 

Thanks so very much for that. You always say the kindest things. Love hearing them too so I think I'll continue writing lol

 

I'll bet you were glad to see a certain someone getting what was coming to them. I know it tasted sweet to write it.

[hh5]

still waiting for Jan home to go kaboom - you kept it a looming threat - but the question remains - who will be hurt or killed by it - coming to pass - all set in motion by a former principal

[ricky]

still waiting for Jan home to go kaboom - you kept it a looming threat - but the question remains - who will be hurt or killed by it - coming to pass - all set in motion by a former principal

 

That answer was in CH 16 posted yesterday. And it was sweet.

[johnnyjon2008]

Hi Ricky,

 

I just finished chapter three. WoW! Elliot is quite the hot 12 year old. I can remember being plenty horny, but too dumb to know what to do with it. I love his take charge attitude and how he gets Jan's hard dick in his ass. I particularly like the loving characters you develop. I first read Tic and loved it so much! Now, I am into Roll Call and I am sure I will be enthralled until it is done - does it have to end?

Anyway thanks for all you have done for me.

 

Peace,

 

Randy

[ricky]

Roll Call CH 17 has been posted

[phana14]

This is a special chapter for me. It introduces two new characters at a perfect time for this story.

 

Jan and Elliot are happily *together*, and along comes two engaging kids to create a happy holiday 'get-together'!!

 

Gods! I LOVED this chapter!!!

 

Thanks to the Ricky-Tanner-Ryan team!! YAY!!!!

[Benji]

Roll Call CH 17 has been posted

 

....Although can understand the enthusiasm of Elliot (being his age), I was a bit perplexed at Oprah's questions to him, her seemingly disbelieving of his sexuality was a bit of hard pill to swallow. Not that she was against him, but her questions seemed to be very naive on her part in the interview. Her credibility dropped for me, but I'm guessing you used her in a sort of humorous fashion in this part as a demonstration of credibility of others in her field. Hmmm, what ill the ramifications be for the boys at school following the airing of the show? And will we see part 2 of the interview? Great chapter as always Ricky!!!

[ricky]

....Although can understand the enthusiasm of Elliot (being his age), I was a bit perplexed at Oprah's questions to him, her seemingly disbelieving of his sexuality was a bit of hard pill to swallow. Not that she was against him, but her questions seemed to be very naive on her part in the interview. Her credibility dropped for me, but I'm guessing you used her in a sort of humorous fashion in this part as a demonstration of credibility of others in her field. Hmmm, what ill the ramifications be for the boys at school following the airing of the show? And will we see part 2 of the interview? Great chapter as always Ricky!!!

 

Hi Benji and thanks for the comment. The Naivete of the talk show host was intentional. Remember that it isn't about what she knows or doesn't. A talk show host will always start at the beginning assuming the audience comes from all walks of life and may be clueless. So the questions asked will almost always be from the perceived "blind side" of their audience. They also assume that people watching are for the most part, not gay because being gay is not new or unique to them so it would be considered a boring topic. So assuming that, the people watching are presumed for the most part to be clueless, religious, stereotype believing and/or homophobes. That is also why there is no live audience.

 

As for what comes next. Still writing it. hehe but I have some ideas. I'm actually more interested in the Bar B-Q at Gilbert's house and to see how Jess works things out.