[Adam Phillips] Crosscurrents

[Adam Phillips]

Chapter 15 of Crosscurrents has been posted.

 

The thing Andy's been avoiding for years grabs the spotlight and refuses to be put off any longer.

 

This was a bittersweet chapter for me to write, for personal reasons. I hope you like it.

[Bob1010]

Adam ,

I love Angie ,what a strong,confident ,loving character.She knows what she wants ,she seems to be have been waiting ages for Andy to pluck up the courage to ask her out, Matt had to give Andy the kick up the backside to make the date.

Go girl

I wonder how she will deal with Andy's last sentence in this chapter ,that she almost completes him.

Really looking forward to the next chapter

Barbara.

 

There is no question that this is a very special woman. As I recall, just how special is yet to come.

 

Bob

[Bob1010]

I think that you managed some really great little tidbits of writing here. Really getting to the inner Andy. I particularly liked:

 

" I rested my head on his shoulder. I didn't want to let him go. I could smell the sun and the sweat and the salt on him. And I could smell his body's own natural scent, familiar to me as my own name. My breathing slowed and deepened, holding him in my arms like that, just as it had earlier, when we were lying out in the sun. But from a darker place there was an urgency, bordering on panic, swirling around inside me. Breaking through the calm and the peace, it shouted, you can't do this! You'll ruin everything! You have to let go; you have to sit down; you have to get away from him!

 

I had a fleeting mental image of a chain snapping, overpowered by opposing forces pulling on each end."

 

Bob

[lin]

Wonderful chapter, Adam. You're very lucky to have a friend who loves you so much. As is he.

[Adam Phillips]

Wonderful chapter, Adam. You're very lucky to have a friend who loves you so much. As is he.

 

Thanks for the nice words about the chapter, lin...but...uhh...I don't see anybody in the story named Adam! Just some "Andy" guy.

[Nobracium]

Hey Adam, I thoroughly enjoyed re-reading your story -- as I've actual read your previous version from another site but it's always nice to touch base again on a great piece of work -- and thought this chapter was one of defining moments in Andy's life. Anyway, can't wait to see where the story is headed!

[Forever14]

you write extraordinarily well. It looks like rough times for Matt and Andy to come. It seems like Matt is just as much into the relaltionship as Andy. Keep up the good work

[nightsky]

Anyway, can't wait to see where the story is headed!

 

 

 

You and me both!! (and many others, I'm sure).

 

I'm not looking forward to the rest of the 'previously published' stuff (even if it is the angsty stuff that I say I love), but can't wait for the 'new' stuff. Right now, it's just so... bittersweet. Bitter b/c well. There'd be no story w/o the bitter part, right? Sweet for the beautiful portrayal of the love between Matt and Andy, even if neither really understands it quite yet. And hopefully sweet for the lessons learned from it.

 

 

[soup]

Just thought i'd pop by and say i really (really really) love Crosscurrents. I read your previous version a little while ago. i think i prefer reading it in these weekly intervals though, i like anticipating what's going to happen and thinking about how everything's going to play out (even if i have a little headstart from before ). It's fun to be immersed in your story again, not like last time where i rushed through it all at once =]

 

I also think you're just a brilliant writer and i really enjoyed It Started With Brian (It's the only story that's ever made me cry)

Can't wait till tomorrow. YAY next chapter!

[Adam Phillips]

Chapter 16 of Crosscurrents has been posted.

 

Poor Andy. Poor Matt. You saw it coming, though, right?

[Forever14]

Chapter 16 is amazing. Andy's relationship with his father is remarkable, unusual and remarkable. The passage through adolescence would have to be so much easier with that sort of support to help figure out whatever. Angie is almost unbelievable and pretty amazing as well. Matt is the mystery here and I will be interested to see how his character develops. This story can go a couple of different directions and I wonder what Adam Phillips will do with all this.

[dachcr]

Chapter 16 is amazing. Andy's relationship with his father is remarkable, unusual and remarkable. The passage through adolescence would have to be so much easier with that sort of support to help figure out whatever. Angie is almost unbelievable and pretty amazing as well. Matt is the mystery here and I will be interested to see how his character develops. This story can go a couple of different directions and I wonder what Adam Phillips will do with all this.

 

I totally agree - great story - hours of fun and fantasy!

[Adam Phillips]

Chapter 17 of Crosscurrents has been posted.

 

I don't really know what to say about this chapter. It was draining to write, and it's draining to talk about, I guess.

 

It's sad when things go wrong between two people. Even if there's someone to blame, you just hate to see it for either of them.

[NaperVic]

I had postponed reading the re-release of CrossCurrents until it got to around Ch 21, but last night I thought it would be safe to start reading a few chapters at a time, hoping by the time I finished, new chapters would be out.

 

However, I got sucked into the wonder story again, and reading a few chapters turned into a marathon session finished with Ch 17 (by the way, what a place to leave off:wacko: ).

 

I really enjoyed getting back into CrossCurrents. At times feeling sympathy for Andy, you can't help but get thouroughly annoyed at how he's misreading the current situation with & how he's treating Matt.

 

I think what's most odd to me is that Andy's father & Angie aren't doing more to help Andy get back to normal with Matt. They know that Andy wasn't reading the situation with Matt correctly. Perhaps even though they know Andy's wrong, they're both the type not to meddle. They know it's something Andy & Matt are going to have to work out on their own. I guess I'm just used to my family & friends who seem to meddle more . I certainly feel like smacking Andy up side the head.

 

Anyhow, that's for bring CrossCurrents back to life!

[Adam Phillips]

I had postponed reading the re-release of CrossCurrents until it got to around Ch 21, but last night I thought it would be safe to start reading a few chapters at a time, hoping by the time I finished, new chapters would be out.

 

However, I got sucked into the wonder story again, and reading a few chapters turned into a marathon session finished with Ch 17 (by the way, what a place to leave off:wacko: ).

 

The chapters are coming out weekly--and will be until the story's finished--so just chill! I had to leave off somewhere, didn't I?

 

I really enjoyed getting back into CrossCurrents. At times feeling sympathy for Andy, you can't help but get thouroughly annoyed at how he's misreading the current situation with & how he's treating Matt.

 

Yeah. You're right. I'm trying to make it clear that he's scared to death Matt is going to push him away, eventually, out of disgust for what he let Andy do. He's afraid that he might literally not be able to go on after experiencing that kind of pain. But it's also clear that Andy's doing a number on himself inside his head. He's a little ashamed of loving Matt like that. And he projects that feeling onto Matt. Andy has some growing up to do, and he's going to have to get comfortable with himself. Unless he does, that unresolved stuff in his head has the potential to hurt the people closest to him.

 

I think what's most odd to me is that Andy's father & Angie aren't doing more to help Andy get back to normal with Matt. They know that Andy wasn't reading the situation with Matt correctly. Perhaps even though they know Andy's wrong, they're both the type not to meddle. They know it's something Andy & Matt are going to have to work out on their own. I guess I'm just used to my family & friends who seem to meddle more . I certainly feel like smacking Andy up side the head.

 

Me too. As for Andy's family and gf, they've tried, and now the rest is up to Andy. They've all had years of experiencing that Andy tends to dig his heels in when he's confronted. His gf realizes it's a touchy subject, and for the sake of her relationship with Andy, she probably shouldn't push it. And his parents? Well, Matt didn't just vanish during this period. The seriousness of what was going on didn't really register with his parents. Matt was still around once in a while for studying, shooting hoops, stuff like that. And Andy was a master at playing things down. If his dad ever re-visited the issue with him, Andy probably told him that everything was cool.

 

Anyway, thanks for your comments! I'm glad you're (still) enjoying Crosscurrents.

[Forever14]

"Please stop doing what you're doing. It hurts." Pretty sad stuff. Andy does need a smack on the head or maybe to pull his head out of his ass. I wonder how he is ever going to figure this out. Based on the prolog, I wonder if he ever will or if finally he does, it will be too late. As usual, great job on the story, Adam.

[bubba77]

*sigh*

 

I knew this chapter was coming. Again.

 

I've read Crosscurrents in its previous incarnations and...it's hard to take. IIRC, the next couple chapters entirely are hard to take.

 

Even though I'm not wired the way Andy is, in some ways I completely relate to what he's thinking and feeling. It makes perfect sense to me and I'm ashamed to admit that in his shoes, I'd probably react in much the same way.

 

It's a brilliant and brutal piece of writing, Adam.

[Adam Phillips]

*sigh*

 

I knew this chapter was coming. Again.

 

I've read Crosscurrents in its previous incarnations and...it's hard to take. IIRC, the next couple chapters entirely are hard to take.

 

Even though I'm not wired the way Andy is, in some ways I completely relate to what he's thinking and feeling. It makes perfect sense to me and I'm ashamed to admit that in his shoes, I'd probably react in much the same way.

 

It's a brilliant and brutal piece of writing, Adam.

 

Thanks. And, yes, it is brutal.

 

The next chapter is the worst, I think. It gets somewhat better after that, and won't get this bad again.

 

For what it's worth--and I might have already said this--I wrote Chapters 16, 17, and 18 in one sitting. I knew I'd have to if I were to have any hope of getting through them. When I was finished, I was completely drained and numb. I had no idea if they were any good; I just knew I couldn't spend any more time on them. But the reader response I got to these three chapters was unprecedented. The chapters really seemed to do business with people, and even though they're dark, I didn't get many emails at all telling me what a jerk I was for writing them. Everybody seemed to understand, and everybody seemed to be crying along with Matt and Andy, and everybody told me that these chapters were the most intense so far. For what it's worth, I think they'll end up being the most intense of the entire story, although there are some intense moments ahead.

[methodwriter85]

Andy. Was. An. Asshole.

[Adam Phillips]

Andy. Was. An. Asshole.

 

Andy was never a saint. And he was in pain. He was blind, but he was in pain. He didn't set out to be an asshole.

 

Have you never made some bad mistakes when you were in pain?

[methodwriter85]

I have. And I've been called an ass before. Just saying that in this instance, Andy was a major asshole. Not that I don't feel sympathy for him, but how he treated Matt was pretty reprehensible.

Edited July 18, 2010 by methodwriter85

[nightsky]

I have. And I've been called an ass before. Just saying that in this instance, Andy was a major asshole. Not that I don't feel sympathy for him, but how he treated Matt was pretty reprehensible.

 

 

hey now. You know I want to smack Andy upside the head. Then again. Then one more time.

 

BUT, as much as I hate to admit it, I've done what Andy is doing far more than I'd like to admit. Maybe not to the extent that he's doing it, and maybe not for the same reasons, but I've pushed people that love(d) me away too.

 

Sometimes, you do what you think you have to do in order to survive.

 

 

That's what screams at me in these chapters. Andy is doing some not nice things out of self-preservation. AND, in order to keep the relationship alive for as long as possible. Sure, we see that by doing what he's doing, that the relationship is no longer the relationship it used to be, but Andy doesn't care. he thinks that there would be NO relationship, in fact, worse, there would be DISGUST and HATRED if he didn't keep on keepin' on.

[Adam Phillips]

Chapter 18 has just been posted.

 

Again, not much I can say about it. The boys have been walking some hard trail and this last mile has been pretty damn devastating.

[B1ue]

RE: chapters 16, 17, 18.

 

I, too, want to smack Andy upside the head here. But since we're supposed to want that, I'm not surprised. I wish I could condemn him for his behavoir, but I have done things equally stupid. It's annoying when you build things up in your head, and everyone else in the world refuses to follow the script.

 

I'm glad he finally realized what he was doing. Too late to really make amends for now, but I hope he can salvage something.

[MikeL]

Chapter 18 is a very sad story of parting. I hope that someday Andy and Matt can recapture that element of love which has gone missing from their friendship.