[Adam Phillips] Crosscurrents

[Adam Phillips]

Chapter 5 of Crosscurrents has just been posted. Andy and Matt, already good friends for years, get to know each other a little better in this chapter, in a couple of different ways.

[methodwriter85]

It's so weird reading about the jock, cheerleader culture of Texas schools. It just seems so...apple pie. It's so far from what I grew up with, even in middle school. I went to a "thug" middle school, so we didn't really have that there, either. And it's interesting that Andy thinks it's early and a big deal that he and Matt make out with girls- when I was in 6th and 7th grade, I knew people who were having oral sex and going all the way, and by 8th grade I knew people that had gotten pregnant.

 

Reading this chapter makes me wish that the first guy I sexually explored with wasn't a man who was 39 years old and was actually within the ballpark of my age, 15. *sigh*

Edited April 24, 2010 by methodwriter85

[Adam Phillips]

It's so weird reading about the jock, cheerleader culture of Texas schools. It just seems so...apple pie. It's so far from what I grew up with, even in middle school. I went to a "thug" middle school, so we didn't really have that there, either. And it's interesting that Andy thinks it's early and a big deal that he and Matt make out with girls- when I was in 6th and 7th grade, I knew people who were having oral sex and going all the way, and by 8th grade I knew people that had gotten pregnant.

 

Well, I don't want to leave the impression that that never happens in Texas. And there's plenty of ways to get into trouble in the Dallas suburbs. Generally speaking, though, white-collar families in that period before cell phones were in every middle school kid's backpack, and prior to the explosive growth of the Internet, generally channeled their kids' extracurricular time, for as many years as they could, into all kinds of pursuits designed to make them into "well-rounded individuals." So they had their time accounted for and there wasn't a whole lot of opportunity to sneak off and do your stuff under the radar, not at 12 and 13.

 

The other thing parents do in the Dallas suburbs is push their kids to excel. That's certainly not unique to Dallas, but it's Dallas that I have personal experience of. And this push to excel wasn't a push for each kid to do his personal best. It was about being better than the rest. And of course that's impossible for all but a small few. But for their kids to achieve that level of distinction, for as long as they can, parents schedule pretty tightly what a kid is doing with his time.

 

This drive to excel is pretty ruthless sometimes. There was a period of time about twenty years ago when Plano, a small-city-become-Dallas-satellite, was the nation's teen suicide capital. The two things go hand in hand, I think. Parents programming out kids' lives and pressuring them into looking at life as a constant competition where they're required to come out on top. It was about clothes, it was about grades, it was about peer leadership, it was about looks, it was about sports...it was about just about everything. It's a pressure-cooker, and not a few kids can't cut it, and many go over the edge in one way or another.

 

As a way of pushing back, when high school comes along and kids could cut loose, the collective id (the Freudian one, not the "identification" one) often goes nuts here. But not at 12 and 13.

[nightsky]

Chapter 5 of Crosscurrents has just been posted. Andy and Matt, already good friends for years, get to know each other a little better in this chapter, in a couple of different ways.

 

 

totally sucking me in again with the funny stuff. i love mattnandy. my angst-o-meter is rising though.

 

i'm going to have to tell myself I don't get to read either the new CC chapter or anymore of CAP until i've got some writing of my own done (which is not nearly as entertaining).

 

 

[methodwriter85]

That's some good insight, Adam. I had the experience of the lower socioeconomic middle school, and we just pretty much ran amok and did whatever we wanted while the teachers looked the other way. I mean, I had a health teacher who mimed rolling a joint, for Christ's sakes.

 

Sometimes I wish I had been part of that world you're from, but another part is glad I wasn't pushed to excel like like that. Because I was pretty much free to do whatever I wanted, and in retrospect it was nice to have that. I'll never be a grades guy- but I think I turned out alright. I'll never be better than anyone at anything- but...I think I'm alright with that. I may have graduated high school with a 2.5, and college with a 2.6, but...despite some regrets, I think I'm happy with how things turned out.

 

One thing I keep thinking reading this is that you and your cohorts really were honestly the last generation of kids to be treated like kids. I know you get pissed whenever I go on about how you and me are in different generations, but it really feels that way, reading about the way things were for kids your age growing up. Things just changed with the rise of the internet, with the rise of the cell phone, with the bigger awareness of what oral sex is because of President Clinton, and with the rise of older-type clothing for kids as precipated by the rise of the tween Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen fashion market. Twelve and thirteen for you guys was different for us when we got there- we'd been exposed to so much more.

[Adam Phillips]

totally sucking me in again with the funny stuff. i love mattnandy. my angst-o-meter is rising though.

 

Yeah, it's a funny little moment in the M&A saga. So typical, really, of best buds at that age. Prolly 85% of young adolescents with a best friend have done it. The other 15% are lying.

 

As for angst, well, it's pretty much a given from the tone of the Prologue that you sign on for that with Crosscurrents, right? I promise all my readers, though, that by the time the thing is done you won't want to slit your wrists. You do understand that from the tone of the prologue, and recognizing that the story's all told in flashback, that a nice, warm happily-ever-after story isn't going to be a possibility, right? That being said, once it's all done you won't feel like doubling up on the Prozac.

 

i'm going to have to tell myself I don't get to read either the new CC chapter or anymore of CAP until i've got some writing of my own done (which is not nearly as entertaining).

 

Man, do I remember the days. And am I glad they're over. Good luck with all that. And hang in there; it's an endurance contest more than anything. I'm assuming you have to defend orally as well down the road, right? That's another whole subject.

[Tiger]

Fooling around with your best friend is fun. I will admit that I did. It was great. I just wish we had done more.

[Cynical Romantic]

Just wanted to say that I'm glad to see Crosscurrents is being updated again. I'd nearly given up hope. (Not really. I knew you were busy writing Sam's story. It just feels like that sometimes.)

 

Looking forward to the new chapters, and I plan to take advantage of the newly-posted old chapters in the meantime to do a re-read.

[Adam Phillips]

Just wanted to say that I'm glad to see Crosscurrents is being updated again. I'd nearly given up hope. (Not really. I knew you were busy writing Sam's story. It just feels like that sometimes.)

 

Felt like it to me, too! I'm glad--relieved, even--to be back on it.

 

 

Looking forward to the new chapters, and I plan to take advantage of the newly-posted old chapters in the meantime to do a re-read.

 

I appreciate your willingness to take in reruns, lol, and I'll keep 'em coming weekly in 2010 until it's all finished. Thanks for reading.

[Toast]

Hey Adam. I have finished chapters four and five. Matt is so easy to like. Andy is a little different. I like this. Matt has his terrors, but they seem to strengthen him. Andy, is clever. But a little awkward under the bravura. They work as friends. Trust is just natural to them. One for the other. Total enjoyment for my part. Thanks. Sam.

[Adam Phillips]

Hey Adam. I have finished chapters four and five. Matt is so easy to like. Andy is a little different. I like this. Matt has his terrors, but they seem to strengthen him. Andy, is clever. But a little awkward under the bravura. They work as friends. Trust is just natural to them. One for the other. Total enjoyment for my part. Thanks. Sam.

 

You're right. Andy and Matt are very different. Matt's had some hard knocks. But Andy goes into his head far too quickly. He's said as much, and explained why, in his narration. He got a scare as a little kid and the lesson he learned is that he always has to be calculating risks, always has to be wary of the other shoe dropping so he can get out of its way, always has to have the mental machinery running, always has to put on a brave front, and always has to be ready to fight, even if it means being prepared to go down fighting.

 

I've tried to present them as an interesting study in contrasts. I'm glad that's coming across.

[Toast]

I've tried to present them as an interesting study in contrasts. I'm glad that's coming across.

 

 

It is also compelling storytelling.

[methodwriter85]

I just think it's interesting how Andy seems to ALWAYS be on the offense with people, like he's always fully on and never less than 110 percent. I can't imagine how stressful that must be.

[Adam Phillips]

Chapter 6 of Crosscurrents has been posted. In this chapter, we see Andy well on his way toward falling-in-first-love.

 

Remember those days? Oh, the agony; oh, the ecstasy! ...

 

Oh, the melodrama! Looking back on adolescent first-loves it's easy to smile at how life-or-death serious we took them. But I wonder if, behind the smile, we don't also retain the feeling that there was something deeply significant about that first venture into those waters.

[methodwriter85]

I never had a boyfriend, but I did have crushes. Dear god I embarrased the hell out of myself over some of them. In 9th grade I had a crush on a snotty guy who purposely dressed like a member of a boyband, spiky blond highlights and all. Ugh. I had a cringeworthy conversation where I told my sister I wanted to marry the guy. Ugh and double ugh. LOL.

 

It's kinda interesting how Andy's adolescence is playing out- he's taller than other guys who are 14, and getting a more mature body, and that's already attracting the older girls. It reminds me a lot of a friend I had who got physically mature at 14 and didn't have the lanky gangliness that a lot of guys usually have until they're seventeen/eighteen. Girls who didn't normally go for 9th graders totally went for him.

[PrivateTim]

Chapter 6 of Crosscurrents has been posted. In this chapter, we see Andy well on his way toward falling-in-first-love.

 

Remember those days? Oh, the agony; oh, the ecstasy! ...

 

Oh, the melodrama! Looking back on adolescent first-loves it's easy to smile at how life-or-death serious we took them. But I wonder if, behind the smile, we don't also retain the feeling that there was something deeply significant about that first venture into those waters.

 

I think those first loves shape us and scar us. Or at least mine did. The really complicated part of about who we are is that no one else is inside your head. What is emotionally crippling to me might be water off someone else's back and they can't understand why I am devastated. Or how I wound up like I am.

 

I did just notice that Andy's last name changed......

[Adam Phillips]

I think those first loves shape us and scar us. Or at least mine did. The really complicated part of about who we are is that no one else is inside your head. What is emotionally crippling to me might be water off someone else's back and they can't understand why I am devastated. Or how I wound up like I am.

 

I think you're right. I can trace lines from my present back to my past, but there's no reason the line from the past had to go where it did.

 

I did just notice that Andy's last name changed......

 

Just trying to create a little literary distance between author and protagonist.

[Toast]

Nice number six. I like how it focuses in and out from a simple view to a complex one and back.

 

Sam

[Adam Phillips]

Chapter 7 has just been posted. In this chapter Andy experiences another first in life--two of them, actually...and as is becoming the case so often, these experiences are contextualized by his friendship with Matt.

[Toast]

Nice number seven. Really enjoyed it. Loved the last paragraph.

[nightsky]

Chapter 7 has just been posted. In this chapter Andy experiences another first in life--two of them, actually...and as is becoming the case so often, these experiences are contextualized by his friendship with Matt.

 

 

Poor Staci. Poor Andy. Love does make us blind... and stupid.

 

Great chapter. Really captures why these first loves are called "crushes."

 

Angst-o-meter [1-10]: 5 (probably lower than it should be, only b/c I think I know where 10 is....)

Edited May 8, 2010 by nightsky

[Tommy_B]

Chapter 7 has just been posted. In this chapter Andy experiences another first in life--two of them, actually...and as is becoming the case so often, these experiences are contextualized by his friendship with Matt.

 

I can't quite relate because I've never felt anything for a girl, but I can relate with pouring my heart out to a guy, giving me over and then finding out he never intended to be serious. I kind of poured the emotion into him to get it away from someone else, a boy, hopelessly straight and yet I was so head over heels for him I thought I could fill the emptiness with someone else. Got nailed on both ends.

[Adam Phillips]

Chapter 8 of Crosscurrents has been posted. This is something of a transitional chapter; Andy begins to make his way into the opening act of high school, and much to his surprise he finds he's been cast by his peers in a major role, apparently in part because he's had the good fortune (or misfortune, depending on which part of you choose to focus on) to have had a summer romance with an "older woman." The main focus of this chapter, though, is on the quiet but ever-growing friendship between him and Matt.

[methodwriter85]

Kinda weird for me to read, since I was the biggest loser in 9th grade, but it's nice to see how such a nice, charming young man commanded the respect and attention of his peers.

 

Most of the coaches I knew wouldn't have really cared about someone doing multiple sports, but that was usually only during off-season. I'd never heard of anyone who could get away with doing two sports during the same season, but I guess it somehow worked for Andy that way.

[Adam Phillips]

Kinda weird for me to read, since I was the biggest loser in 9th grade, but it's nice to see how such a nice, charming young man commanded the respect and attention of his peers.

 

I've tried to suggest in the narrative that there's a certain amount of guile to Andy's public persona, and that although he's a good kid, he's not necessarily a complete "nice guy." He's playing people, and he's doing it to gain what advantage he can. It softens the realization of such to know that he's not trying to hurt anyone by playing them, but it's a misreading to see Andy as some total nice guy, and I believe I've "written" him with some shadowy undertones, and not as totally made up of sunlight and good will.

 

Most of the coaches I knew wouldn't have really cared about someone doing multiple sports, but that was usually only during off-season. I'd never heard of anyone who could get away with doing two sports during the same season, but I guess it somehow worked for Andy that way.

 

In this neck of the woods, when I was in high school, club soccer games got played on Saturday; high school football got played on Friday. And there were a lot of guys who played football and club soccer. High school soccer season happened in the winter, so there was no conflict there either.