Sluttiness

[Mark Arbour]

What makes a person slutty? Is it the total number of partners in your life, the average weekly/monthly total, or rather, is it a consistent thing vs. a phase thing? And is sluttiness in general a "bad" thing?

[methodwriter85]

It depends. A slutty phase in a person's life can be a lot of fun, but if you're only hooking up with people you barely know or care about, it can be pretty dehumazing. Being a slut has worked out well for Stefan and Cody, but then again they're fictional. LOL.

 

The girl who wrote the Duck University F*ck List...did you notice that she tended to rate the guys higher who were actually nice and friendly to her and didn't treat her like a whore? I'm sure that wasn't a coincidence. Sluttiness can be fun, but when you lack any real connection beyond the physical, it can make you feel pretty bad about yourself.

[intune]

I think slutty is more of an attitude thing. Sleeping around with tons of people will never be viewed well by many, but I think if you act blase about it people get the perception that you're a slut. Taking relationships seriously, sexual or not is important. When people don't take their relationships seriously and sleep around a lot I think that equals slutty to most people, plus once you have a title like that it's hard to get rid of.

[centexhairysub]

I really don't think there is anything wrong with being a slut... Maybe because I am one, at least to a certain extent. I think to some extent it is easier for someone my age to have been a slut then someone of the generations following me. I was fourteen when I slept with the first man and woman that I ever slept with. My sexual experience begin before AIDS was really an issue, and then I just got lucky for a few years before I wised up.

 

I do think it is to some extent about attitude. I do think that how you present yourself to some extent decides how others view and label you. Most of my friends, even the ones that know of my past, would not consider me a slut as much as I do...

 

I also never cheated, when I was in a relationship with someone; I was faithful... Now, I can say that til I was over thirty, most of my relationships were less than six months but I can say with complete honesty, I have never cheated on anyone that I have been in a relationship with.

 

I really think that sex is one of those things that we are suppose to enjoy. As someone once said, even bad sex is pretty damn good. I don't understand why people get so bent out of shape when two people or more, do something that feels so damn good... I really do believe that America more than any other country in the world, even the Islamic countries, has a real puritanical streak when it comes to sex.

[Daddydavek]

I agree with CentexHS. Before it became a life or death issue and the worst case consequence was a dose of gonorrhea, opportunistic cruising was way more common and acceptable. Casual hook-ups were just that. Most of us didn't discuss them much and for some of us in the closet, that was our main

outlet. Since the 1980's when HIV became a serious problem, slutty behavior is a no-no for most adults as it implies recklessness.

Edited July 8, 2011 by Daddydavek

[Canuk]

 

 

I really think that sex is one of those things that we are suppose to enjoy. As someone once said, even bad sex is pretty damn good. I don't understand why people get so bent out of shape when two people or more, do something that feels so damn good... I really do believe that America more than any other country in the world, even the Islamic countries, has a real puritanical streak when it comes to sex.

 

 

Wholeheatedly agree. both with the "sex is great" and the comment that America seems more hung-up on the moral questions around sex more than any other country, well any other country I have spent time in (and I've lived and worked in a dozen-plus countries). The recent Supreme Court case on video games is a case in point: it semms to be OK to shoot, strangle, maim, assault a woman in a video game PROVIDE she is dressed, let alone having consensual missionary position hetro sex!!

 

 

I suppose we all have our quirks!

[KYE]

What makes a person slutty? Is it the total number of partners in your life, the average weekly/monthly total, or rather, is it a consistent thing vs. a phase thing? And is sluttiness in general a "bad" thing?

 

I think that a person is generally considered a "slut' if they consistantly have numerous sex partners regardless if they know the person(s) well or not.

 

But I have always considered there to be a double standard with the use of the word "Slut". It seems that when using the word referring to a Woman it is considered an insult or slur. But when the word is is used when referring to a Man, many consider it a compliment, maybe even a badge of honor for the guy.

So for me when hearing someone called a slut, I wonder if the Double Standard of the use of the word between Men and Women is fair?

[Matthew k]

I think sluttiness is bad on lots of levels, but not really moral grounds because I don't really care what others do.

 

I think it can be bad emotionally and keep you from forming lasting relationships. I think it can give you a reputation where certain guys won't want to date you. You can still get all kinds of nasty diseases. Lastly I think it devalues sex to a mere physical activity and misses some of the cool intimacy that goes with it.

 

I get why guys had to be slutty 30 years when Arbour was still kinda young but I think times have changed where you can be openly with someone and you don't need to sneak around like JP did at Princeton.

 

Oh and what makes someone slutty? When you go out to coffee with 6 of your best friends and realize you've had sex with all of them.

Edited July 28, 2011 by Matthew k

[bearsteve]

The pejorative version of the term has a lot to do with lack of trust and morals. For an alternative view, check out The Ethical Slut.