To those who are single?

[Warrior1]

Does it hurt? We are all biologically, psychologically, emotionally wired to feel attracted. Does it bother you that you don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend around you?

 

Personally, I am okay most of the time. As much romantic and idealistic I maybe, I try to keep myself busy with other works, forgetting that somewhere, my body and mind aches for a lover. However, there are times, when you just can't stop that desire, and you feel so, so depressed. Like you really need to have his arm around your shoulder, but you can't find the person, because you just are single. Especially during the teenage years, the thought of being single can be distressing.

 

Overall, those who are single here @ this forum, do you wish you could be with someone now? Is it because you haven't found the right match, haven't felt so strongly for anyone etc?

[A.J.]

It hurts sometimes to be alone, but as they say it is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person.  I find what I miss the most is snuggling and cuddling with a guy.  My body pillow just doesn't cut it.

 

I wish I could be with someone right now, but I'm the first to admit that I am a difficult guy to date. 

[Celethiel]

and we cries to be so alone....

however in all seriousness, yes it does hurt to be alone to think you may never find someone who will share your life with...

I am sure more than one person fears to die alone...with no one to miss them when they've gone, and no one to mourn the loss.

[crazyfish]

It's funny the shitty things we let happen or do just because we are afraid of being alone. The shitty relationships we endure because we don't want to be alone. The serial cheesetastic flings we do just because we can't stand the thought of sleeping alone in bed. 

 

We're born alone, and we die alone.  Then sooner you learn to enjoy your own company, the better off you'll be.

 

Anyway yeah it sucks not to have anyone to call your own. It also sucks I don't have million dollars.  Look on the bright side. It's a hell of lot easier to get partnered up than to earn a million dollars. 

[Gene Splicer PHD]

I'm alone, been that way most of my life. I've surrounded myself with about 5 people that I can truly, honestly rely on to be there for me no matter what.

 

I've had a partner, and that was great, but the bastard kept moving the furniture around and changing the banking all the time. Stop touching my shit, fool.

 

I get lonely but I'm never really alone, and I stay busy enough to not miss having someone making plans for me and burning dinner.

[Arpeggio]

I just got out of a relationship and I almost feel relieved. 

[JamesSavik]

Being single is much better than being in a bad relationship.

 

It's a very important lesson that cost me dearly to learn.

[Y_B]

[Henry_Henry2012]

It hurts sometimes to be alone, but as they say it is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person.  I find what I miss the most is snuggling and cuddling with a guy.  My body pillow just doesn't cut it.

 

I wish I could be with someone right now, but I'm the first to admit that I am a difficult guy to date. 

 

And that's why I have 5 pillows all around me. I'm a hugger when I sleep, so the need to hug pillows is paramount to my nightly agenda not to wake up halfway and realise that what I'm dreaming about snuggling in a tropical beach is a soft $25 pillow case I bought just to appease my cravings of a warm body to hold at night.

 

I had a date last week. He was cute. He kept on looking at my chest and my lips . . . so obviously we're both attracted to each other. The problem was, we never talked about anything. There was no chemistry. He was air and I was fire. I'm not hard to date, but I do like someone who talks in real life and does not do sign language as a hobby (because he kept on looking at his wristwatch).

 

So yes, being single is HARD especially if 90% of your friends are straight couples, and they keep on hooking you up with women despite the fact that they know you're gay, just because they want you on their team. I've practically bitch-slapped their faces that I'm not bisexual, and yet they keep on hinting that maybe I'm BI just because I had girlfriends in college. HELLO people, are you THERE! I like men damn it. 

 

I should make this song my anthem: Sir-Mix-A-Lot's 'Baby Got Crotch'.

 

I like men's crotch and I cannot lie

You other brothers can't deny

That when a man walks in with a big bulged blimp

And a big thing on your face

You get SPRUNG!

Cuz you notice that the crotch was stuffed

Deep in the jeans he's wearing

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Oh, Baby I wanna get with ya

And take your picture

My homegays tried to warn me

But that crotch you got

Make ME so horny . . .

[A.J.]

I've had a partner, and that was great, but the bastard kept moving the furniture around and changing the banking all the time. Stop touching my shit, fool.

 

I hate it when guys touch my things without permission.

[Warrior1]

I know it's better to be single than in the wrong relationship. But I am not sure if it's good to remain alone for a very long time, especially if you don't have proper company, friends & family with you. Masturbation can only give you so much. You need that 'personal touch', the feeling that the person means so much to you, and the ability to share, love, understand. And I am not the one to jump into bed with people just to 'get off'; I wouldn't, can't actually, do it unless I feel I can stay with him forever.

However, my condition is such that dating is nearly impossible. Not least because it is a very conservative country/family I come from. I am terribly introverted/unsocial, to the point that it is a psychological disease actually. I have been diagnosed with psychological depression at a very early age. I don't talk, can't share things, and loose my temper and attention easily. Who would like to stay with me, and do I have the capability to get into and sustain a long-term relationship at all?

I don't like these dating sites either. If it happens, it must happen naturally. But I worry I can't make it happen naturally either without damaging another side of my life.

 

Given my conditions, I don't think I will ever be able to get into a long-term relation. I already do feel lonely. I was just wondering, to those of you who are single, can you go on with your life without feeling depressed that you don't have the 'one person' with you that we all desire?

 

How terrible and powerful is this desire? Can we go on with our life happily and without much of a problem without a partner or does it become a serious issue?

 

Cheers,

 

(my random nonsense thoughts)

[Never Surrender]

I'm single, and tbh I'm really happy about it I'm not sure whether I count in response to that question, being both straight and only 19 years old (like you, actually), but its something that I've pondered a lot lately. The majority of people i went to school with are settling down. They have kids, they are either in a council owned house or renting, in a long term relationship. They are getting engaged and married, if they weren't already.

 

Throughout all of this, I cant help but feel way too young. I'm already worrying that I will never find someone who's compatible with me, because I'm the first to admit that I have issues and baggage, a lot of which aren't easy things to deal with for both me, and whoever Ive opened up to (and I'm sure anyone close to me would readily confirm that!). That said, in my opinion, to be worried about that at 19 is a little premature My theory at the moment is to be the best person I can be, to focus on my degree and to get my life in order. If that special someone comes along I wouldn't turn away, but it'll happen if its going to happen and I'm not going to try and force it. You have to be happy with yourself before people are happy with you

 

For the moment, I'm happy to keep living my life on a spontaneous level, doing what I want to do, when I want to do it, and to have as much fun as I can while dealing with any of the crap. Id rather be happily alone with friends who support me, having a good and stable life with a good job (and lots of ponies or cats haha) than be miserable in a relationship just so I could cuddle someone for half an hour a day (and I'm a total cuddler, also a well known GA fact). 

Edited November 20, 2013 by Never Surrender

[asamvav111]

hmm... You sound an awful lot like you are from Indian Subcontinent. 

 

Look, while it is a strong biological need to have someone to hold, it's not always feasible for everyone. Even if you were in a relationship, there is no gurrantee that your intense feelings will be reciprocated. Every mind is different and they work differently. Some people just can't stand the void, while others live perfect happy lives with their friends and family or even completely alone. One thing is for sure is that, it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. But, alas, the only way to know if s/he's the one, is to live with them. So, start dating and get into the thick of it. Try every size and make till you find the right fit... if you are lucky enough to find the right fit that is. And if you can't do that at the moment for whatever reason, just chill. You've still got plenty of time. Experience life as it comes. Don't be depressed. We are here for you.

 

Hugs and Chocolates.

[Y_B]

.

Edited November 21, 2013 by Y_B

[methodwriter85]

   When I was 15 to about 21 I wanted nothing more than a boyfriend. I've never had one at nearly 28, and while it sucks, there's also a part of me that realizes that I'm not in a place in my life where I could consider the feelings and life of another person while dealing with them on an intimate level.

 

    That's a nice way of saying that I'm a narcissistic prick who really would make a crappy boyfriend at this point.