Cia's Weekend Writing Challenge #6: Adjectives and Adverbs - Can you go halfway?

[Cia]

 

Last week in Cia's Weekend Writing Challenge #5 we went over what adjectives and adverbs are. Reminder is below in the spoiler. Then I shared those scenarios added below. The challenge... use them to create a scene of 100 to 300 words with only 3 adjectives and 2 adverbs. It was hard, but a few authors were up to the challenge of seeing how few adjectives and adverbs they could use. This week, we're going in the opposite direction to see how many authors can add. Are you up for it? 

 

We're still sticking with basic writing elements this week, but these are probably the most important ones for an author when it comes to knowing when it's important to describe something and when. It's hard to strike a balance, and you want to use words that have impact. Describing objects can be done in mundane ways or you can easily choose to go in other directions. How and why you describe something depends on the scene, the character narrating the scene, and just what you're conveying to the reader. 

 

First, a reminder of just what these are and what they do. 

Adjectives: words that describe nouns (our persons, places, and things)

Adverbs: words that describe verbs; often end in ly (our action words)

 

Scenario 1

Imagine passing through a cemetery.

 

Now, what kind of character are you? 

 

Are you a pre-teen out there on a dare? A teenager with the power to kick butt? A widower who's had a few too many?

 

Who's following the story? A YA reader following a coming of age tale? An eager paranormal addict with a stake addiction? A hopeless romantic looking for some sort of second chance--even a spooky one? 

 

or

 

Scenario 2

Imagine wading through water.

 

Now, what kind of character are you?

 

Are you an adventurer seeking treasure? A hiker lost in the wilderness? A diver emerging from a dive?

 

Who's following the story? A reader with a love of historical fiction? Someone who can't resist stories of men in uniform? An adventure reader who eagerly devours tales about animals from the depths? 

 

or

 

Scenario 3

Imagine cradling something in your arms. 

 

Now what kind of character are you?

 

A parent? A veterinarian doing their job? A volunteer delivering blankets to a shelter? 

 

Who's following the story? Someone who loves cute kids in a story or can't resist a Daddy or Manny? An animal lover who can't resist a white coat? Someone who loves a contemporary story about giving back? 

 

Last Week's Challenge: 

Pick a scenario above and write a short scene. No less than 100 words, no more than 300. Let us see, hear, smell, taste, feel what your characters are going through and doing, but... you can only use 3 adjectives and 2 adverbs, total. And, just so you can see how hard it is to avoid using them, adjectives in this post are in red and adverbs are colored in blue. Share your scene below, and in a prompt collection if you have one! 

 

This Week's Challenge:

Use the scenario you wrote last week and share the same scene... but this week, pump up the adverbs and adjectives so that one third to one half of your total word count is a describing word. Create the images and feelings, share the sensory information and sights, senses, etc... from your character's POV and don't hold back. 

 

If you didn't write a scenario last week, feel free to go back and write one. And next week, we're going to do one final challenge on adjectives and adverbs, balancing the two extremes, so make sure you're ready for that. 

[Comicality]

 

Quick question...

 

Should we use the same scene from last week, and just 'enhance' it with more descriptions? Or should write a new version from scratch?

[Cia]

1 hour ago, Comicality said:

 

Quick question...

 

Should we use the same scene from last week, and just 'enhance' it with more descriptions? Or should write a new version from scratch?

Same scene from last week and enhance it.  

[Comicality]

 

Hehehe, it's much easier to write something and cut back on the descriptions than it is to write it and beef it up later! LOL! A challenge indeed! Anyway...here goes:

 

"Darkness. Infinite darkness. At least that's how it felt. I walk through the mist and cold of the old cemetery, from the front gate to the once familiar spot of choice. I know the way. I can count the previously rehearsed steps in the back of my troubled mind. And yet, I feel as though I'm a different person every time that I make the slow paced journey back to the place where I belonged.

 

Slowly, almost cautiously, I approach the frigid, stone, marker, and I kneel down to grieve in its ominous shadow. It's been two years, but the pain and insatiable emptiness remains. Eagerly clawing at my grieving heart with talons of regret and heartbreak. I should have been stronger. I should have known better.

 

As I look up and see my own name, chiseled raw, into the grey and expressionless tombstone before me, I'm forced to ask, once again...why did I do that awful thing to myself? Why?

 

I'm only there for a moment before I feel my graceless spiritual form begin to gradually fade away from this plane of existence. I can't stay long. But I know that I'll eventually be back tomorrow night. A dark and lonely night. And the night after that. And the night after THAT. A well deserved punishment? Perhaps. But I know that a fateful day will come when I can finally move on. It just won't be tonight.

 

No. Not tonight."

 

[Dolores Esteban]

 I added more than fifty adjectives and adverbs. I think it ruined the scene. I actually feel embarrassed to post this.

-------------------

A large cloud of black smoke was hanging over the wide, dried-out fields and the ornamental small pond. He was wading slowly through the shallow, blue and clear water. Warily, Spencer looked up, shielding his eyes. He had finally reached the steep stairs to the large platform that had been built in antediluvian times. 12,000 years ago, the ancient platform, now decayed, crumbled and forgotten, had been the base of a giant, splendorous and alien monument. Spencer heard the loud sound that the old legends spoke of, the strange, whirring hum and the deafening, roaring buzz of vast pumps and monstrous machines, mistaken for the threatening growl of a wild beast by the fearful, gullible natives. The horrible noise was coming from the dreadful depths, deep from under the ground. Spencer shuddered, feeling startled, terrified and very scared. The ancient factory of the mighty and powerful gods had never fully stopped working.
　
A big, black crow crossed the grayish sky slowly and finally settled quietly on the ancient stairs. Spencer stared warily, feeling intimidated and scared. The black bird was obviously an aerial drone. It turned its single eye directly at him.

 

[Cia]

On 8/3/2018 at 9:00 AM, Dolores Esteban said:

 I added more than fifty adjectives and adverbs. I think it ruined the scene. I actually feel embarrassed to post this.

-------------------

 

Don't be! You're following directions exactly like I'd hoped and showed just what showing TOO much can do to the images an author can create. Don't worry, you'll get another go at it! 

[Comicality]

On ‎8‎/‎3‎/‎2018 at 12:00 PM, Dolores Esteban said:

 I added more than fifty adjectives and adverbs. I think it ruined the scene. I actually feel embarrassed to post this.

-------------------

A large cloud of black smoke was hanging over the wide, dried-out fields and the ornamental small pond. He was wading slowly through the shallow, blue and clear water. Warily, Spencer looked up, shielding his eyes. He had finally reached the steep stairs to the large platform that had been built in antediluvian times. 12,000 years ago, the ancient platform, now decayed, crumbled and forgotten, had been the base of a giant, splendorous and alien monument. Spencer heard the loud sound that the old legends spoke of, the strange, whirring hum and the deafening, roaring buzz of vast pumps and monstrous machines, mistaken for the threatening growl of a wild beast by the fearful, gullible natives. The horrible noise was coming from the dreadful depths, deep from under the ground. Spencer shuddered, feeling startled, terrified and very scared. The ancient factory of the mighty and powerful gods had never fully stopped working.
　
A big, black crow crossed the grayish sky slowly and finally settled quietly on the ancient stairs. Spencer stared warily, feeling intimidated and scared. The black bird was obviously an aerial drone. It turned its single eye directly at him.

 

 

I was worried about word count, but now I kinda wanna go back and see if I can add more!  Well done!

[Dolores Esteban]

5 hours ago, Comicality said:

 

I was worried about word count, but now I kinda wanna go back and see if I can add more!  Well done!

 

Thanks! 😲  It was a real challenge. I had to bring myself to write it and I think the result is horrible.

Give it a try. Add more adjectives and adverbs. It will definitelx add to the creepiness of the cemetry scene,...in a sense. 🤧