Crazy Stuff That Jeff Says

[ReaderPaul]

When are you posting this?

[Jeff Burton]

1 minute ago, ReaderPaul said:

When are you posting this?

I wrote those two sections this morning, I don't even have a plot yet. I just saw two scenes in my head and pounded it out lmao.

[ReaderPaul]

Good stuff, @Jeff Burton.  I politely petition you to come up with a plot, a plan, a platform (potential outline), put down words, and publish the story here on GA.

Edited July 22, 2025 by ReaderPaul

[Jeff Burton]

So I started writing that thing and I made myself lol

I didn’t feel anything change, but the status display flickered, and a new icon lit up. I assumed that meant it was working.

Then I heard movement behind the cockpit. A moment later, a drone roughly the size of R2-D2 floated through the aft hatch, chirped at me like we were old friends, and zipped outside.

This was insane.

This was completely unreal.

And yet—here I was.

I looked down at the pilot—still totally out cold—and sighed.

“You’re lucky, you know that?” I said. “You get to sleep through the existential panic. Meanwhile I’m out here bargaining with your haunted Roomba and trying not to have a full-blown breakdown.”

He didn’t respond, obviously. But I swear—if he smirked in his sleep, I was going to slap him.
 

Edited July 23, 2025 by Jeff Burton

[Jeff Burton]

Just to give everyone a heads up.

The Secret Author event threw my posting schedule for a loop, mainly because it took a while to read through them. So it's going to take me the better part of next week to get chapter updates to everything in progress.  And given that I can't seem to do less than 6k words per chapter most of the time it's going to be a minute.  My goal though is to just swap between them.  A couple of stories may push ahead of the others due to the muse sinking motivation into it but I'll make sure to get them all.

Also book one of the Encrypted series is going to wrap in a couple of chapters (yes that's right. It's a series) to close out the main plot line, book 2 and onward will continue Joshua's journey.

Once that one is complete, I'm going to throw more attention at Just Maybe and I'm Gay: A Nifty Story as well as continue the work on two new stories that haven't published yet.  One of them is short, about seven or so chapters and I'm on chapter five right now.  The other I just started and it's a little more complex than Encrypted so we'll see what happens.

My goal is to either get Just Maybe or I'm Gay: A Nifty Story completed, whichever happens first, plus one of the unpublished works done before I start on Encrypted 2: The Title I haven't decided on yet. If I can get all three completed that would be even better, but if you've noticed how my brain works it's not happy unless its in existential crisis by having 3 projects going at the same time.

I'm not going to abandon the two old stories.  I just need to fully think where both are going before I post anything to them.  By the time I'm done I'd like to one day have a full list of "Completed" works before I start anything new but yeah that probably won't happen. lol

[Topher Lydon]

3 minutes ago, Jeff Burton said:

before I start on Encrypted 2: The Title I haven't decided on yet. 

Encrypted 2: Re-crypted
Encrypted 2 : De-crypted
Encrypted 2: Too Crypted
Encrypted 2: Son of Encrypted,
the return of the revenge of the Bride of Encrypted.
Ooo I am enjoying this

[Jeff Burton]

17 minutes ago, Topher Lydon said:

Encrypted 2: Re-crypted
Encrypted 2 : De-crypted
Encrypted 2: Too Crypted
Encrypted 2: Son of Encrypted,
the return of the revenge of the Bride of Encrypted.
Ooo I am enjoying this

keep that up and I'm going to blow up something in Canada in that book lmao.

[Topher Lydon]

9 hours ago, Jeff Burton said:

keep that up and I'm going to blow up something in Canada in that book lmao.

😮 You can't do that.
Encrypted 2: Encrypted Goes North

[ReaderPaul]

1 hour ago, Topher Lydon said:

😮 You can't do that.
Encrypted 2: Encrypted Goes North

How about -- Encrypted Two: Cryptic Encryption.

[Topher Lydon]

53 minutes ago, ReaderPaul said:

How about -- Encrypted Two: Cryptic Encryption.

Encrypted Two: Northern Encrypted Exposure

[Jeff Burton]

9 minutes ago, Topher Lydon said:

Encrypted Two: Northern Encrypted Exposure

I actually do have a list of working titles but it's so hard to choose.

[Jeff Burton]

The alien story continues:

“Fascinating,” said a voice beside me, making me flinch.

My brain stalled for a second, then rebooted through the fog.

“…What?” I asked, blinking as I sat up.

Jonah was already awake, seated upright with the tablet in his hands.

“Your sleep cycle, as you call it, is fascinating,” he said. “I only required four of your interval hours. I have been observing your progress since then. You changed position five times, vocalized twice while unconscious, and your phallic appendage has been fully engorged and secreting organic fluid for the past thirty-two minutes.”

He said it so matter-of-factly, like he was discussing rainfall.

I wanted to die.
 

Edited July 27, 2025 by Jeff Burton

[Jeff Burton]

Oh because I don't have enough going on, another story I'm working on because I want to ruin Arthurian lore for everybody:

Merlin and the Lost Key to Avalon

Centuries after the legendary wizard Merlin helped his king slip through the gates to Avalon, the portal to a magical realm has been lost—and with it, the world’s magic. Now trapped in an almost powerless human form, Merlin wanders a modern world that has long forgotten myth and magic.

When the long-lost key to the Gate suddenly resurfaces—buried beneath a supermarket in York—it falls into the hands of those who see it only as a relic. Teaming up with Bentley, a sharp-tongued shelf-stacker with an unexpected knowledge of Arthurian lore, Merlin must outwit bumbling cultists and desperate forces alike to reopen the Gate and finally find his way home.

 

Basically Merlin lost his garage door opener, and had to spend 1,500 years trying to find it. He's tired. He's pissed and he just wants to go home.  This should be fun.

[Talo Segura]

The Suite Vulgate du Merlin – an Old French manuscript so rare there are less than 40 surviving copies in the world – has been discovered by an archivist in Cambridge University Library.

The lost medieval manuscript tells the tale of Merlin and the early heroic years of King Arthur's court.

In it, the magician becomes a blind harpist who later vanishes into thin air. He will then reappear as a balding child who issues edicts to King Arthur wearing no underwear.

No, I'm not making this up!

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20250324-the-magical-medieval-tale-revealed-by-a-100000-dollar-camera

[Topher Lydon]

[Jeff Burton]

13 hours ago, Talo Segura said:

The Suite Vulgate du Merlin – an Old French manuscript so rare there are less than 40 surviving copies in the world – has been discovered by an archivist in Cambridge University Library.

The lost medieval manuscript tells the tale of Merlin and the early heroic years of King Arthur's court.

In it, the magician becomes a blind harpist who later vanishes into thin air. He will then reappear as a balding child who issues edicts to King Arthur wearing no underwear.

No, I'm not making this up!

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20250324-the-magical-medieval-tale-revealed-by-a-100000-dollar-camera

Oh damn lol

13 hours ago, Topher Lydon said:

😂

[Jeff Burton]

Just a heads up I am doing a lot of writing against a few things just none of it towards what I should be writing. My muse has pretty bad ADHD so eventually I’ll have something for yall to read.

[akascrubber]

If I had a vote and when you are able, please consider adding more chapters to Encrypted, please. This story is very compelling and substantial.

Thanks for hearing me out.

Andy

[Jeff Burton]

17 minutes ago, akascrubber said:

If I had a vote and when you are able, please consider adding more chapters to Encrypted, please. This story is very compelling and substantial.

Thanks for hearing me out.

Andy

I'm actually going to try on that one because believe it or not we're close to the end of book one and I'd love to get that off the table before too long.

[akascrubber]

Thank you very much, Jeff

 

This is great news.

 

Andy

[Jeff Burton]

I just wanna say I hate moving. At least I don’t have much to move.

[CassieQ]

15 minutes ago, Jeff Burton said:

I just wanna say I hate moving. At least I don’t have much to move.

Seconded.  I did it last year, it was heinous.  

[Topher Lydon]

i've got one coming up this year... still settling the details.

My cottage has Asbestos in the roofing... so they need to tear the roof off, and I can't be here for that... so new house time.

[Jeff Burton]

It is the absolute worst lol. All the packing is done just a lot of cleaning I don’t want to do then transport my meager possessions 3 miles then unpack it again 

[Jason Rimbaud]

9 hours ago, Jeff Burton said:

I just wanna say I hate moving. At least I don’t have much to move.

That's why I always hire movers, I just sit back and watch.

J