Crazy Stuff That Jeff Says

[lawfulneutralmage]

Same here. Movers are really worth the money!

[Inkognito]

On 8/24/2025 at 4:06 PM, Jeff Burton said:

It is the absolute worst lol. All the packing is done just a lot of cleaning I don’t want to do then transport my meager possessions 3 miles then unpack it again 

Sending you good borks and good vibes.

[Jeff Burton]

15 hours ago, Inkognito said:

Sending you good borks and good vibes.

Thanks I needed it. I managed to get everything unpacked and the writing PC is back together and online so, I can continue to do things (or continue to procrastinate)

We'll see what happens, just not today I'm tired, and I smell funny so maybe I should go deal with that instead.

[Topher Lydon]

[Jeff Burton]

7 minutes ago, Topher Lydon said:

Obviously my procrastination will be forced into submission from outside sources lol.

[Jeff Burton]

Not really a status update, but more like a blog post not sure if I should put it there instead but here we are.

It's been a crazy week, wrapped with more change than I'm comfortable with but here we are.  I've slowly been sounding out chapters to update current stories and to continue unpublished stuff.  But there is something stirring.

I keep listening to "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana on repeat, it's almost obsessive compulsion at this point which means, something is brewing in my sub conscious.  As if I didn't have enough going on in the real world, plus all the unfinished projects, and new ones that won't leave me a lone another one is trying to breach the surface. 

I wish my brain would let me focus on maybe one or two projects at a time but the wiring in me head doesn't work like that, no matter how hard I try.  Whatever this idea that wants out seems like it has a veracity the other's didn't, and that kind a scares me a little bit.  It's no secret that when I write emotional stuff I have to look in to my own hurt in order to put that emotion into words in a story, and when I do that it upsets my emotional balance a little bit.

It makes me wonder what I'm going to have to go through to satisfy whatever the muse is going to pull out of me next.  There are some hurts, that I don't want to touch. Sometimes the stuff that died with the passage of time just needs to stay dead.

But here I am, Heart Shaped Box midway through the song again, wondering why.  It's not the lyrics that I seem to be focused on, it's the guitar bits.  As if the melody absent the lyrics is a story in itself. Or could be a story itself. 

Maybe it'll come to me eventually.  Till then, repeat...

[Jeff Burton]

Thanks to @wildone for pushing me over the edge. 😂

 

[wildone]

Thank you. I was waiting for weeks 😇

 

[ReaderPaul]

Way to go, @Jeff Burton.

[Jeff Burton]

My internet hasn't been very friendly lately, I had to order something off Amazon in order to sort of fix it temporarily because honestly, I don't feel like digging then burying a cable if I don't have too.  Right now I've got the tin toil array pointed at just the right angle to bounce a signal probably off a government satellite so we'll see how it works for the rest of the day and if I can actually get any chapter updates done.

[Jeff Burton]

This last 2 weeks have been nuts. I need a nap.

After a small purchase on Amazon and a delivery that got delayed because it got lost, found then lost again I upgraded my janky setup with a wifi extender that could reach where I needed it to reach because my old ass wasn't about to dig a trench and lay CAT 5/6 cable from where I'm living to the main hub.

It works and it's faster than what I had before so that's all that matters.  I can finally log into google drive without the "attempting to maintain a friggen connection to google's servers because whatever your using for internet seems to be bouncing off the Mars Global Surveyor which is causing this to take a while."

I need a drink. A nap, a belly scratch and possibly a hooker.

[akascrubber]

Hooray! I am glad you are now connected. I hope at least you get your nap and can post later. I and others want to read your stories.

[Jeff Burton]

I can't help feeling that I'm so behind in everything at this point, writing, stuff irl, it can induce a person to doom scroll on instagram reels and not get anything done lol.

[akascrubber]

You are a very good writer who has earned strong praise from your fans.  I realize you have a formidable task ahead just considering restarting "Encrypted." It is a complicated, but very compelling story.  Please take things one step at a time so you can get into the tale at a rate that satisfies you. I hope you find your muse and are empowered to continuing writing. Good Luck   Andy

[Jeff Burton]

6 minutes ago, akascrubber said:

You are a very good writer who has earned strong praise from your fans.  I realize you have a formidable task ahead just considering restarting "Encrypted." It is a complicated, but very compelling story.  Please take things one step at a time so you can get into the tale at a rate that satisfies you. I hope you find your muse and are empowered to continuing writing. Good Luck   Andy

I actually just started writing Chapter 12 of Encrypted about half an hour ago.  I had to reread the whole thing to make sure I was still heading in the direction it needs to go.  Thankfully I had enough foresight a few months ago to map out chapters 12 through 15, but the chapter lengths might be a little shorter than what preceded it.

[lawfulneutralmage]

When writing, I ban the browser. I have a good old CD running in the background, but that is it.

[Talo Segura]

5 hours ago, akascrubber said:

I hope you find your muse

although it looks like you have. I find having someone to bounce ideas off or who can make suggestions is useful, but also sometimes you simply have to wait, and if the story is not fresh in your mind you have to re-read it slowly and make notes, then it doesn't necessarily need to go in the original direction if you have a better idea or inspiration. Good luck.

[Jeff Burton]

9 hours ago, Talo Segura said:

although it looks like you have. I find having someone to bounce ideas off or who can make suggestions is useful, but also sometimes you simply have to wait, and if the story is not fresh in your mind you have to re-read it slowly and make notes, then it doesn't necessarily need to go in the original direction if you have a better idea or inspiration. Good luck.

That’s actually what I ended up doing because I know the how and why for this particular story but the choose your own adventure aspect in the middle is what caused my hangup. Like there were so many different ways the character could have gone to get there was insane just picking one causes a brain freeze lol

[Jeff Burton]

So it’s my birthday and I’m now the same age my dad was when he died. (44 in case anybody wonders.)

I can’t say I’m having a total existential crisis about it but I can’t help but to compare myself to him.  My dad had issues that lead him to die so young so it’s like I can’t fault him for the things that happened because of those issues, even though everyone else would probably.

I have my own issues thankfully not as serious as his but am I the adult he was?  That’s the thought I’ve been stuck on for the last couple of days.  Am I as wise and experienced as he seemed to be or was he just faking it to benefit his teenaged son.

i spent some time last weekend with my sister in laws son from a previous marriage and he’s 16, the same age I was, the same age dynamic and I realize I was way too young no matter how mature I thought I was to go through what I did when my dad died, add on top of that my sexuality, religion, and total absence of safety, stability, and guiding hands it’s amazing I survived any of it without an alcohol or drug addiction or a criminal record.

One thing I do realize is that I do not feel like the wise old adult my outward appearance seems to give, the guy my dad was.  I’m still that 16 year old me trying to fit where I can’t, like an actual identity of some kind has been eluding me this entire time and I can’t figure out for the life of me who or what I’m actually supposed to be.

I guess after a lifetime of waiting for that other shoe to drop has something to do with that. 

I’ll admit I’m low key jealous of everyone whose managed to slip into the roles they found themselves in whether it was intentional, accidental, or it was just something they organically grew into.

So I spend this birthday as one of the lost ones mentioned in the song “Nemo” by Nightwish which I’ll link below because it sums  up my mood perfectly.

Once I get over myself I’ll get back into writing and finish some stuff up, I do have some new stuff in several genre’s I’m playing with I’m hoping to share eventually.

i really do appreciate the community here at GA that’s listened and responded to my ramblings, who have read reacted and responded to my stories no matter how hard the emotions went when I intentionally tried to wreck everyone to the point of tears, being here and being able to express the stuff I keep locked down in my daily life has helped keep me sane and functioning the last few years.

If I were to change anything I’d work on my focus so I could actually sit down and write more so yall had content without waiting endlessly for it when my brain goes on a bender.

 

Edited October 22, 2025 by Jeff Burton

[Talo Segura]

Happy Birthday 🎂 🎈 

I never get comparisons, if we are being existential then how about the proposition that truth and reality are constructed fictions?

You are you, your life is just a passage, a mixture of circumstances and choices, and like Sinatra sang, "regrets, I have a few, but too few to mention," and hopefully you live your life your way. Else, what's the point?

Getting towards 45 you think sometimes about life and dying, the trick is to not think too much and just live. Yeah, could say it's not that easy, but why not?

 

[lawfulneutralmage]

Well, first, Happy Birthday!

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I’m still that 16 year old me trying to fit where I can’t, like an actual identity of some kind has been eluding me this entire time and I can’t figure out for the life of me who or what I’m actually supposed to be.

Many try telling others what they "are supposed to be"; but that is usually b******t. If you are fundamentally friendly to others, then there is nothing else that others can expect of you.

Most of us are all still children at heart - and that is good! Those who forgot their inner child are usually cruel and miserable. I, at 49, "play" twice to three times a week; role-playing and board games. Some people might consider it childish. I think it is childish to get excited about some sports team. So, everyone as they please!

Therefore, the fundamental question is: are you happy?

If you can reply with "yes" or "mostly" - excellent! You found the answer!

Yet, if the answer is "no", then there is one question to be answered, and that question is not "what do others think of me" but "what do I want".

 

Quote

i really do appreciate the community here at GA that’s listened and responded to my ramblings, who have read reacted and responded to my stories no matter how hard the emotions went when I intentionally tried to wreck everyone to the point of tears, being here and being able to express the stuff I keep locked down in my daily life has helped keep me sane and functioning the last few years. 

Let's say GA is the saner part of Social Media... thanks for sharing, actually!

Cheers!

[Jeff Burton]

I just want to share how much I despise doing laundry. And no I don’t separate the colors I’m chaotic like that and just hope for the best.

[Topher Lydon]

you want pink socks, that's how you get pink socks

[Jeff Burton]

1 hour ago, Topher Lydon said:

you want pink socks, that's how you get pink socks

That’s why all my socks are black or grey. I planned for this 😂😂

[Topher Lydon]

12 minutes ago, Jeff Burton said:

That’s why all my socks are black or grey. I planned for this 😂😂

Now I am picturing you in pretty pink-ish - grey socks. Fetching