[Jack Frost] Moving On

[Jack Frost]

https://www.gayauthors.org/efiction/viewsto...&chapter=22

 

[Drewbie]

Knew it which one got preggers

 

now im hoping that Ben's mom won't kill Step.

[Jack Frost]

Good news.

 

 

School is over for me for the next five months.

 

 

Once I get back to my boring-as-hell-but-$300-per-week-to-sit-on-my-ass-almost-all-day summer job, I'll start writing more often.

 

 

Thanks for your patience.

[Benji]

Good news.

 

 

School is over for me for the next five months.

 

 

Once I get back to my boring-as-hell-but-$300-per-week-to-sit-on-my-ass-almost-all-day summer job, I'll start writing more often.

 

 

Thanks for your patience.

...............Looking forward to it!

[Jack Frost]

Goals to do.

 

When I get a new damn adapter to charge my laptop to get it working again (it's been THREE WEEKS...they told me three days but f**K C'MON!!!)...

 

I'll try to...

 

1) Write several chapters over the summer.

2) Start finishing up the story. I say...10 more chapters. Maybe 15 maximum. The point is...it's time to start planning an end because I've been writing this for almost two years now with 22 chapters.

3) Reread all of the chapters I wrote and write down some notes to make out in the future chapters. I've been slacking off for too long now that I'm forgetting some parts of my story. Blame school and I'm a MAJOR procrastinator. Not a good trait. lol

 

Those are just goals. Not promises. I don't make promises if I doubt I could keep them.

 

Finally... I need betareaders. Bondwriter is hardly around these days, so I hope I could count on FrenchCanadian as my French editor

Edited May 10, 2008 by Jack Frost

[Bondwriter]

Finally... I need betareaders. Bondwriter is hardly around these days, so I hope I could count on FrenchCanadian as my French editor

[Jack Frost]

Thanks for dismissing me without even asking. Now my team of hitmen is back on your trail. *grunts, growls, grumbles...* I quit being a postwhore (expensive therapy...) but I still spare some time zetareading. Even for animals.

Not dismissing you per se, but I wasn't sure if you still want to do it. You're still on my list.

 

Ok, no more betareaders. Now I got four. Thanks for volunteering and we'll keep in touch!

[Jack Frost]

Note to self: Fix the trash can mistake in Chapter one to refer to Steph's bedroom trash can.

 

Thanks to GaryInMiami for pointing this out for me.

Edited May 17, 2008 by Jack Frost

[GaryK]

Hi Bondwriter.

 

I look forward to working with you. I love Jack's story and I'm honored to be part of his team. I will always defer to you. You're the zeta. I'm just a beta.

 

Jack, I've made it to Chapter 14 in two days. Not bad. I'm getting a great French tutorial in the process. Your characters seem so real to me. In fact the entire story plays out like a movie in my mind. When that happens I know I've come across a great story.

 

Note to Jack: Keep in mind you've got to let Steph's mom find the progress report but not the razor blades.

[Jack Frost]

You better watch out for Sharon too.

 

She's the editor and I take her editing magic like gold...nothing else.

Edited May 18, 2008 by Jack Frost

[Kethatril]

Looking forward to chapter 23,

 

Heh Moving On is making me want to learn french...

[GaryK]

You better watch out for Sharon too.

 

She's the editor and I take her editing magic like gold...nothing else.

She's done a good job of editing for you through 22 chapters so I don't need to watch out for her, I just need to learn from her.

[Drewbie]

Again, looking forward to chapter 23, I think Birma would be happy for Steph since he found someone

[Jack Frost]

Again, looking forward to chapter 23, I think Birma would be happy for Steph since he found someone

Birna.

 

 

Leomonain: Sorry I didn't notice you but I just want to thank you for the comment and reading the story. Keep posted.

 

 

 

Ok, goal one has been achieved.

 

It took TWO MONTHS to get my goddamned new adapter for my laptop. Finally I can go to my chapter files.

 

It's rereading time and make a lot of notes. As I said, even though I am ashamed to say this, I've been forgetting some of my story plots. Blame school and my overloaded brain.

Edited June 7, 2008 by Jack Frost

[GaryK]

Beta #1--who thinks the real reason for the delay is Jack's a slacker--is standing ready sir!

 

Here's a brief refresher to get you back up to speed Jack. At the end of Chapter 22 Wilma has just killed herself after coming home early and finding Barney bottoming for Fred. Betty heard the fatal screams as a rapid-fire woodpecker gun hit Wilma in the neck and jets over to Fred's house in time to see a scene filled with blood, gore, the bird flapping around the room, and a naked Fred plugged into Barney who's on the sofa with his legs in the air screaming, "harder, faster."

 

[Jack Frost]

Keep that dirt out of my story you perv. Next time use my characters, but watch it or I'll sue you for copyright violations.

Edited June 8, 2008 by Jack Frost

[Drewbie]

Birna.

 

 

Leomonain: Sorry I didn't notice you but I just want to thank you for the comment and reading the story. Keep posted.

 

 

 

Ok, goal one has been achieved.

 

It took TWO MONTHS to get my goddamned new adapter for my laptop. Finally I can go to my chapter files.

 

It's rereading time and make a lot of notes. As I said, even though I am ashamed to say this, I've been forgetting some of my story plots. Blame school and my overloaded brain.

Opps Birna. Flintstones characters go at it, is to disturbing.

[GaryK]

Opps Birna. Flintstones characters go at it, is to disturbing.

I rather like my warped take on fan fiction. Until Jack comes up with something better that'll have to keep you all entertained.

[Cynical Romantic]

Just started reading this and am really enjoying it so far. It's different. I'm only on chapter 3 and I like where the story is going. It has me laughing a lot.

 

I'm not sure if you noticed a slight "Freudian slip" in chapter 3, mind you... if you didn't notice, I'm sure your boyfriend would if you let him re-read it. Here's a hint: "J'arrive" means "I'm coming" in the G-rated sense of the word. "Je viens" means "I'm coming" in the, erm, not-so-G-rated sense of the word. Since Ben was speaking to his mom in that scene, I'm guessing it's a typo, but given what was going on at the time, maybe not?

 

Edit: Just an update to say I have now stopped reading your story, when I got to the blatant racism of the characters. I was pretty disgusted by it, and couldn't really read on as I'd lost all identification with them. Too bad, as it was a good story otherwise, and was fun seeing my city through the eyes of a tourist. But really, was the racism necessary?

Edited June 9, 2008 by hotchikk

[Drewbie]

and gary lets wait, no more flinstones fan fiction Please

 

Think Steph's mom will find out about Steph and ben soon.

Edited June 10, 2008 by Drewbie

[Jack Frost]

Just started reading this and am really enjoying it so far. It's different. I'm only on chapter 3 and I like where the story is going. It has me laughing a lot.

 

I'm not sure if you noticed a slight "Freudian slip" in chapter 3, mind you... if you didn't notice, I'm sure your boyfriend would if you let him re-read it. Here's a hint: "J'arrive" means "I'm coming" in the G-rated sense of the word. "Je viens" means "I'm coming" in the, erm, not-so-G-rated sense of the word. Since Ben was speaking to his mom in that scene, I'm guessing it's a typo, but given what was going on at the time, maybe not?

 

Edit: Just an update to say I have now stopped reading your story, when I got to the blatant racism of the characters. I was pretty disgusted by it, and couldn't really read on as I'd lost all identification with them. Too bad, as it was a good story otherwise, and was fun seeing my city through the eyes of a tourist. But really, was the racism necessary?

What racism? It's hard to be racist and have an Asian character in the story.

 

And I have a Vietnamese hubby and I'm also practically married to his family. Does that make me racist? :s Well, no...my characters might be acting like that, not me. I'm just making the characters human actually and no one is 100% politically correct. I hope you understand that. But to be honest, I'm not trying to put *very* offensive things in my story, such as the approval of Nazism and the Holocaust...now that's really crossing the line. But the concept of racism and so on is rather relative and it's not easy to tell from a board spectrum. However, poking fun at few ethnicities are very normal in a society and no one is really innoncent of it. A lot of Montrealers make fun of the Chinese people in Chinatown or make stupid jokes about the orthorox Jews in Outremont. Stupid yes, but it's normal and I like making my characters very real-life-like and not some pure fanastry in a ever-perfect world. I'll apperciate your input so I can review it just for everyone's sake.

 

"Je viens"... Where is it? It's a common verb for everyone to use and I would like to see what kind of context is it in. I might have put it there on purpose and Ben's mom may not have noticed the double-meaning of it.

Edited June 9, 2008 by Jack Frost

[GaryK]

In defense of Jack. I was initially put off by the same comments that I perceived as being racist. I even mentioned it to Jack.

 

Eventually I realized I had to separate the author from his characters.

 

Jack doesn't seem like a racist to me, and maybe his characters aren't really either. But the fact is that far too many people talk like that and for Jack to brazenly include comments like that in a story adds an element of realism to the story. I don't enjoy seeing comments like that. But let's face it, comments like that are made all the time.

 

I like to think of myself as being open-minded both racially and ethnically. I try never to judge someone by those facts alone. And yet on occasion my imperfect brain starts on a tirade against the stupid f-ing Cuban who just cut me off in traffic. Hey, it's not just Cubans who can't drive here in Miami. We have a ton of racial and ethnic diversity here (A-Good-Thing

[Benji]

In defense of Jack. I was initially put off by the same comments that I perceived as being racist. I even mentioned it to Jack.

 

Eventually I realized I had to separate the author from his characters.

 

Jack doesn't seem like a racist to me, and maybe his characters aren't really either. But the fact is that far too many people talk like that and for Jack to brazenly include comments like that in a story adds an element of realism to the story. I don't enjoy seeing comments like that. But let's face it, comments like that are made all the time.

 

I like to think of myself as being open-minded both racially and ethnically. I try never to judge someone by those facts alone. And yet on occasion my imperfect brain starts on a tirade against the stupid f-ing Cuban who just cut me off in traffic. Hey, it's not just Cubans who can't drive here in Miami. We have a ton of racial and ethnic diversity here (A-Good-Thing

[GaryK]

..............I really don't remember the "racist" portion of the story, it would have stood out to me. But if a character was being racist how can you blame the author? You have a writer who is simply being realistic with todays world.

It wasn't a racial comment so much as it was an ethnic comment Ben. Both regarding Jews. Once when the guys were picking a dime up off the street and commenting that they felt like Jews. The second when the boys were in Canada and driving through an Hasidic section of town and mentioning how scary the people looked.

 

I'm Jewish and a lot of the Hasidim scare the hell out of me. I was stoned by them when I tried to walk up the steps to visit Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem. They look flat-out creepy with those black coats, black hats and especially the payoth. To me that section of the story was just a casual observation without any religious malice intended.

[Benji]

It wasn't a racial comment so much as it was an ethnic comment Ben. Both regarding Jews. Once when the guys were picking a dime up off the street and commenting that they felt like Jews. The second when the boys were in Canada and driving through an Hasidic section of town and mentioning how scary the people looked.

 

I'm Jewish and a lot of the Hasidim scare the hell out of me. I was stoned by them when I tried to walk up the steps to visit Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem. They look flat-out creepy with those black coats, black hats and especially the payoth. To me that section of the story was just a casual observation without any religious malice intended.

 

.....Fanaticism is scary in any religion, the dime is an old joke (Hey! wait a minute it's supposed to be a quarter, that's why we wandered for forty years) The Hasidics are pretty much right up there. Even though this huge kid (a Golith) knew that A) I was an inspector. b- I knew the Rabbi very well. C) I even went to their temple sometimes....every time I pulled up to the place he would come out to challange me. It got to the point I would park on the property, but far away just to watch the dumbass come running and puffing!

Edited June 9, 2008 by Benji