[Jack Frost] Moving On

[Jack Frost]

Here you go. Discuss whatever you want.

 

Story link: https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewstory.php?sid=154

[C James]

JAck, All I want to know is: When is the next chapter?

 

I won't spoil it this early in the thread, but suffice it to say I loved the lead in, and the resolution of that particular issue.

 

This is great, and I hope you keep the story going!

CJ

[Jack Frost]

Thanks a lot, you silly goat.

 

 

I'd give it a week or so, but it will be out before I leave for Canada for a week on Sept. 1st.

[knotme]

Great start! I love the sense of place. I can see myself losing footing and grabbing for that rope.

[C James]

Well, this silly goat is delighted to hear that we get a new chapter soon!

 

HAve yourself a fun trip to Canada, too!

[Centaur]

Hey Jack!

 

Congratulations on posting Chapter One of Moving On! I really liked it (as I said before in my email). I am looking forward to reading more about Steph and Ben!

 

Awesome start, and good luck. Keep the chapters coming!

 

 

Centaur :2hands:

 

 

P.S. I couldn't let all the goats have the fun... chuckle.

[Drewbie]

I like the First chapter Jack, Glad he's over the cutting but it can come back, Can't wait to hear more about Ben and Steph.

[Jack Frost]

Thank you all for kind replies.

[Jack Frost]

Chapter Two is now out.

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewsto...0&chapter=2

[C James]

Chapter Two is now out.

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewsto...0&chapter=2

I loved it! Very intriguing. I loved the introspective way it opened.

 

Spoiler below: Highlight to see the text, but ONLY if you have read the chapter!

 

 

I'm perplexed by Steph's initial reaction when Ben came out to him. I suspect a plot twist here, can't wait to see what happens!

 

 

[Centaur]

I agree - nice job Jack! Another great chapter.

 

I'm really enjoying Ben as a character - a nice fresh approach.

 

And I found myself laughing out loud at a couple of comments, so you know I like the story when that happens.

 

Keep it up Jack - it's definitely worth a read.

 

Centaur

[Jack Frost]

By the way, everyone!

 

I can add your email to my address book to notify you of updates for your convidience. Just PM me your email.

 

 

 

Thanks for the comments Centaur and CJames.

[Drewbie]

Wonder if Steph will come out to Ben?

[TOPBOI]

Ok I am Like the story so far alittle miffft at steph reaction to ben's comming out but hey I guess I shouldent expet open arms from someone that is made at himself for being gay.

 

Good Job I can't wait to read More

 

Chris

[Jack Frost]

Wonder if Steph will come out to Ben?

Maybe or maybe not...i can just keep Steph in the closet for the whole chapter. Who knows.

[knotme]

The story is giving me a pretty good feel for the place. It was fun seeing Steph trying so hard to help that he wouldn't let Ben get a word in edgewise

 

People rarely slip and hit their heads, but then they do, it can be very serious. Near me recently, a boy of 16 apparently slipped, hit his head, and died in a foot of water within a 100 yards of home. I worry about a kid who cannot protect his head when he falls on slippery ice. He's gonna fall a lot; it goes with the territory, but if he cannot protect his head, he's not safe walking alone to and from the bus stop.

 

I too am disappointed at and a little confused by Steph's reaction. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, given that Ben is new, unlikely to be trying to trap him, and even if he is, he doesn't yet have the social network to give Steph grief even if he wanted to. Plus, Steph had already considered that Ben might be gay, so Ben's announcement is not a blow out of nowhere.

Edited September 10, 2006 by knotme

[sat8997]

I felt that Steph's reaction was understandable. He had convinced himself that he was the lone gay guy in his sphere and had resigned himself to what he considered to be fact. Even though he finds himself attracted to Ben and has thoughts about 'what if?', actually having Ben tell him that he's gay just sort of knocked Steph for a loop. He wasn't prepared for that reality to actually rear its head. Now we'll just have to see how Jack has Steph deal with the shift in his reality. I'm certainly looking forward to the next chapter. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink )

 

Sharon

[knotme]

Maybe or maybe not...i can just keep Steph in the closet for the whole chapter. Who knows.

I felt that Steph's reaction was understandable. ... I'm certainly looking forward to the next chapter. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink )

Me too, but if Steph stays macho-hetero to Ben all chapter, I'll be really steamed.

[Jack Frost]

People rarely slip and hit their heads, but then they do, it can be very serious. Near me recently, a boy of 16 apparently slipped, hit his head, and died in a foot of water within a 100 yards of home. I worry about a kid who cannot protect his head when he falls on slippery ice. He's gonna fall a lot; it goes with the territory, but if he cannot protect his head, he's not safe walking alone to and from the bus stop.

Eh...I guess that is where I made a flaw (I was afraid I would make one at that scene). :wacko:

 

I guess I should've said about his head hitting couple inches of snow covering the ice (except little markshift trail free of snow across the lake where Steph use to walk across). The snow would provide some cushion and minimize the damage to his head.

[sat8997]

Well I didn't catch it either. Guess I'll have to brush up on my medical knowledge.

 

Sharon

[knotme]

Well I didn't catch it either. Guess I'll have to brush up on my medical knowledge.

Sharon

Hey, wait a minute. I'm not saying falling on one's head is always serious. Just that I'd like my protagonist to be a little more careful.

[sat8997]

Whew - glad you cleared that up. I had a hard enough time with the French. That medical text was really heavy.

 

Sharon

[Jack Frost]

Damn you, Knotme.

 

 

I will leave it as it is. My intention is to image Steph falling while being helped up after falling on his ass, so he didn't take a long fall...just by few feet. I guess I wasn't very clear there, but maybe I'll fix it when I finish the story...I'm such a perfectionist.

 

 

 

Now about Chapter 3, allow me two weeks to make one. I just started writing out main plots before officially starting writing for that chapter.

 

Sharon, as always, I'll keep you posted on the progress.

[Conner]

Now about Chapter 3, allow me two weeks to make one. I just started writing out main plots before officially starting writing for that chapter.

Non! Oubliez ca! Deux semaines ne sont pas acceptable. Une semaine seulement.

 

*ducks shotgun blast*

 

Remember that there are lots of Canadians here who'll be keeping un oeuil on your French.

 

Ok, Steph reacted the way he did intentionly. He needs to make sure Benoit is not setting him up.

 

Conner

[Jack Frost]

Non! Oubliez ca! Deux semaines ne sont pas acceptable. Une semaine seulement.

 

*ducks shotgun blast*

 

Remember that there are lots of Canadians here who'll be keeping un oeuil on your French.

 

Ok, Steph reacted the way he did intentionly. He needs to make sure Benoit is not setting him up.

 

Conner

O_O Tu as os