[Jack Frost] Moving On

[Cynical Romantic]

Hey, I can appreciate the difference between a character's opinion and an author's opinion. If it's just that, then I'm fine with it; after all, sometimes it's written in on purpose (i.e. to make a character seem more obviously bad).

 

And I'm not pretending that racism doesn't exist, either. If your purpose for adding it was to enhance the realism of the story, or to show negative sides of a character, then that would all be fine.

 

My main objection to the two passages Gary mentioned - and yes, those were the ones I meant - was that my take on reading it was that it really did reflect the author's point of view. If it doesn't then I'm sorry, and I don't want to point fingers, but it really does come across that way.

 

Let me put it another way: I was enjoying this story mainly because of a sense of identification with the characters. I won't say it was the best-written story I've ever read, or the most poignant, but it had a raw sense of humour and I liked the conversational style. Given the info you've posted about yourself on this board, Jack Frost, it seemed at least somewhat autobiographical even though I'd guess most of it is fiction, so I guess I was more aware than usual while reading it that many of the offhand jokes, comments, political opinions and whatnot mentioned by the characters were ones shared by the author.

 

Anyway, Steph and Ben are far from perfect, but I found them being likeable and identifiable... until those statements, which seemed so thrown in for no purpose whatsoever. I read them over and over and had to conclude that they were added deliberately since there was no context in the story, and that the hatred and prejudice expressed was real.

 

I'm a fourth-generation Montrealer. I'm also Jewish. Things haven't always been pretty here in La Belle Province for us MOTs. And while I'm about as non-religious as it gets, I've heard enough casual racism in Quebecois society that I realize that a lot of people think it's partly okay. Just as too many people lately think it's somewhat okay to make racist comments about Muslims, for example. But the point was, here I was, reading along, thinking these characters seemed like nice people who I'd love to have a beer with... and then they say that shit, and it seems like a personal attack, and suddenly I don't like them so much anymore, and I don't really care what happens to them. See what I'm saying?

 

I'm not going to get all Bouchard-Taylor on you here, and I'm not trying to preach. What I'm saying is, for me personally, this stuff put a damper on the enjoyment of your story. Consider it a writing critique, anyway.

[Cynical Romantic]

P.S. To answer your other question about "je viens", the place I noticed it was in chapter 3:

We heard the door opening, and Mrs. Lemoureaux came in with some bags in her arms.

 

 

[GaryK]

I'm a fourth-generation Montrealer. I'm also Jewish. Things haven't always been pretty here in La Belle Province for us MOTs. And while I'm about as non-religious as it gets, I've heard enough casual racism in Quebecois society that I realize that a lot of people think it's partly okay. Just as too many people lately think it's somewhat okay to make racist comments about Muslims, for example. But the point was, here I was, reading along, thinking these characters seemed like nice people who I'd love to have a beer with... and then they say that shit, and it seems like a personal attack, and suddenly I don't like them so much anymore, and I don't really care what happens to them. See what I'm saying?

I do see what you're saying. However you pointed out that these things really do happen and a lot of people think it's partly okay. I see these characters as nice people who are slightly flawed just like we all are. Isn't one of the best ways to find out what someone really thinks is to have a few beers with them? Hadn't these characters had a few drinks? Then you might find out things about them you might not like. At that point it's up to you to decide if you still want to be friends with them. That's the best advice I can offer. If you're still uncomfortable with the story then it'll be a shame to lose someone who had been a loyal fan.

[Cynical Romantic]

On an unrelated topic: I went back and read some of the previous posts in this thread, and I see that "FrenchCanadian" also asked about the Longueil/Plateau thing... and he noticed the Habs' 24 Stanley Cups faux-pas as well. Believe me, that is a very big deal... you definitely need to fix that.

 

Oh yeah, and one other thing that bugs me: there's no chance in hell that Adrien would've been able to walk up to the Box Office at the Bell Centre right before a match and buy four or five tickets to a Habs game. This season the individual tickets sold out 15 minutes after going on sale, and there's a multi-year waiting list for season ticket contracts. Now, maybe if you'd said Adrien was rich and paid a scalper, I might've believed you.

[Jack Frost]

Yes. I messed up the Plateau-Longueuil thing. Shame on me.

 

The "j'viens" part. Ok, it should've been "j'arrive" then. It's forever noted in this forum so I can edit that when I finish the whole story (it needs a good final editing work anyway).

 

I'm a fourth-generation Montrealer. I'm also Jewish. Things haven't always been pretty here in La Belle Province for us MOTs. And while I'm about as non-religious as it gets, I've heard enough casual racism in Quebecois society that I realize that a lot of people think it's partly okay. Just as too many people lately think it's somewhat okay to make racist comments about Muslims, for example. But the point was, here I was, reading along, thinking these characters seemed like nice people who I'd love to have a beer with... and then they say that shit, and it seems like a personal attack, and suddenly I don't like them so much anymore, and I don't really care what happens to them. See what I'm saying?

 

I'm not going to get all Bouchard-Taylor on you here, and I'm not trying to preach. What I'm saying is, for me personally, this stuff put a damper on the enjoyment of your story. Consider it a writing critique, anyway.

AMEN!!!!!!!!

 

I am so sick of hearing all of the craps about "accomodations raisonnables" and I'm quite surprised to hear some of the ignorant comments from some Quebecois about the others. I suppose I believed way too much that the Quebecois are the most tolerant people on the continent until I realize they're not that perfect. I've living in Quebec on an off for the past three years now and I lived through this whole H

Edited June 10, 2008 by Jack Frost

[Cynical Romantic]

Actually it was the Flyers who knocked us out of the playoffs this year. But rightfully speaking it should've been the Pens, since we should've beaten Philly. Sadly, it was not to be.

 

But I have faith: Habs in '09! Price will be ready, Breezer will (hopefully) be history again, and what more fitting way would we have to celebrate our centennaire than with the twenty-fifth Stanley Cup? Besides, last time we hosted the all-star game was 1993: coincidence? I think not.

[Jack Frost]

Actually it was the Flyers who knocked us out of the playoffs this year. But rightfully speaking it should've been the Pens, since we should've beaten Philly. Sadly, it was not to be.

 

But I have faith: Habs in '09! Price will be ready, Breezer will (hopefully) be history again, and what more fitting way would we have to celebrate our centennaire than with the twenty-fifth Stanley Cup? Besides, last time we hosted the all-star game was 1993: coincidence? I think not.

 

The Habs rock. 100 years of history...we should be quite proud of it and if they ever dare to move the team to the USA, expect riots worse than that Ste-Catherine riot a couple months go. We're too passionated for our dear hockey team, which is tons better than the Leafs.

[Cynical Romantic]

Leafs-bashing is a time-honoured Montreal tradition. Glad to see you're on board.

[colliever]

i loved the story...though i'm not sure if chapter 22 was the last chapter...the posting on this from was about a year ago. i'm kinda left on a cliffhanger...please let me know if there's more or if you're still working on more chapters

 

great writing and keep up the excellent work

[Jack Frost]

Of course it's not the end of it. I've been lazy since March 2008 I believe.

 

Now my story is three years old.

 

I've been lazy since March 2008 I believe. Not that I had writer blocks or anything, but I just felt unmotivated ever since I went back to university in fall 2007.

 

I'll have to reread all of the chapters, make notes, and jog my memory of my future intention in the next chapters. I'll have to find a number for the final chapter as well and stick with it. Possibly the 30th or 35th chapter will be the end of all.

 

I won't make promises, but it's been in my mind so often. I haven't forgotten, guys, and hope you're still with me.

 

I'll crank out a chapter by September. We'll see what Ben and Steph have been doing for the last year and half of no words from them.

 

-JF

Edited August 22, 2009 by Jack Frost

[Benji]

Of course it's not the end of it. I've been lazy since March 2008 I believe.

 

Now my story is three years old.

 

I've been lazy since March 2008 I believe. Not that I had writer blocks or anything, but I just felt unmotivated ever since I went back to university in fall 2007.

 

I'll have to reread all of the chapters, make notes, and jog my memory of my future intention in the next chapters. I'll have to find a number for the final chapter as well and stick with it. Possibly the 30th or 35th chapter will be the end of all.

 

I won't make promises, but it's been in my mind so often. I haven't forgotten, guys, and hope you're still with me.

 

I'll crank out a chapter by September. We'll see what Ben and Steph have been doing for the last year and half of no words from them.

 

 

-JF

 

..............You realize that you won't be the only one re-reading previous chapters!!!

Edited August 22, 2009 by Benji

[Conner]

..............You realize that you won't be the only one re-reading previous chapters!!!

 

 

Good one, Benji!

 

Well, Frosty One, I'm afraid that you will have to take it on the chin, at least for a bit. But this too shall pass.

 

Remember, the Phoenix only rises from the flames....and right now you are engulfed in flames.

 

Moving On is a great story. Posting a new chapter will have us all back in the choral...or whatever. I seem to be short on metaphors this evening.

 

Fail again, I say to thee, and the hairs on your head will be counted (by Benji, not me )and you will bare the mark of the damned forever more.

 

I just love drama.

[Jack Frost]

LOL Benji... It's better to err on caution than getting one of the boys' eye colour wrong.

 

Of course, I knew you and Connor would stick around with me.

 

A fan is an adoring one when s/he waits patiently for the next chapter... even if it takes forever.

 

Connor: I smite thee!

[paya]

Salut tout le monde! ;-)

 

I've just read first two and half chapters but I'm really much into this story! One I have a thing for guys speaking French, two - Ben plays Civ IV! Well I have to make a confession... Hello, I'm Paya and I'm a Civ IV addict. ;-D So far SO good. Can't wait to read the rest of the story! :-)

 

Est-ce qu'on parle français ici? :-) Sinon, Québécois doit suffire. ;-D J'espère de trouver des idiomes ou des mots du français parlé dans ce récit ou ici dans le forum parce que on n'a pas bcp de chance de les trouver dans les livres de français ;-) J'ai aussi essayé de trouver des récits en français mais j'ai pas réussi. :-/

French spoken here? :-) If not, I'll settle for Quebec French ;-D I hope I find (more French) idioms in this story as it's hard to find them in textbooks ;-) I also tried to find some stories in French but without succes so far. :-/

 

 

well I don't do it for English but my French is somewhat lagging behind so I apologize for any mistakes - feel free to correct me! I'll be glad to see that right. :-)

 

 

 

ehmm... it's quite disturbing that the last chapter posted was one and half a year ago... I read the whole story, it's one of my favourites but it's stalled for soooo long... the last remark on finishing next chapter before September is quite appealing because IT'S 30th AUGUST! (and only for 10 minutes more in my time zone...)

Edited August 30, 2009 by paya

[Jack Frost]

BY SEPTEMBER... Not before it.

 

Thanks for enjoying the story.

 

Civ IV is the most holy game ever. No question about it.

Edited September 1, 2009 by Jack Frost

[paya]

BY SEPTEMBER... Not before it.

 

Thanks for enjoying the story.

 

Civ IV is the most holy game ever. No question about it.

 

Awww... I got carried away with the prospective of next chapter so soon! after reading 11 chapters per day... OK, so I'll try and wait for the next chapter BY SEPTEMBER (It has already started! Counting! )

[hh5]

so you think you'll finish chap 35 before Dec 21, 2012??

 

or before 6th form of life begins

[Jack Frost]

Maybe.

[paya]

[rockyroads]

This has been such a good story and it looks like it's had a lot of interest. I read the posting that said that you just haven't been motivated and the one where you promised a chapter by Sep. 2009. It's now Feb 2010. Maybe you can keep pace with the Olympics, at least. One chapter every 2 years? Please don't abandon your story or your fans. Too many authors have done that.

 

Take care,

Rockyroads

[Jack Frost]

It's because I have a serious motivation issue. I have a PhD in procrastination.

[Bleu]

How can we help you get out of this procrastination streak then, Jack? How can we convince you that your story is amazing and that it deserves a few more chapters? You may not owe it to us readers, but you owe it to yourself and to your characters. They still have lots to say and things to live.

 

 

 

[Drewbie]

How can we help you get out of this procrastination streak then, Jack? How can we convince you that your story is amazing and that it deserves a few more chapters? You may not owe it to us readers, but you owe it to yourself and to your characters. They still have lots to say and things to live.

 

Yes please would like to read more of moving on

[paya]

Il nous faut des nouveaux chapitres!

 

We need new chapters!

[Jack Frost]

de nouveaux*

 

Eventually.