FrenchCanadian Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 Here you go. You can discuss anything you want, make your comments, questions. here is the link : https://www.gayauthors.org/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=482 The Chapter 1 is up, and as of 9pm tonight chapter 2 also Link to comment
FrenchCanadian Posted December 6, 2007 Author Share Posted December 6, 2007 chapter 3 is now up for your enjoyment click here thx Link to comment
C James Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 This is really looking good! Very well written, and you set up the situation very well. That's rough, too, living hours apart. I have a hunch Chris will play a role in the resolution. I'm looking forward to more. CJ Link to comment
FrenchCanadian Posted December 12, 2007 Author Share Posted December 12, 2007 This is really looking good! Very well written, and you set up the situation very well. That's rough, too, living hours apart. I have a hunch Chris will play a role in the resolution. I'm looking forward to more. CJ Thanks for the comment CJ! It is indeed kinda rough and certainly not given to everyone. hehehe! I knew I'd have my revenge on you, oh my dear goat friend,,, "I can't comment on future event."! All jokes aside, I can tell that Chris will be playing a central part to the story as it goes on. Another thing that I guess I can say is to confirm that the prologue (ch1) is set after the events of the following chapters. Eventually the story will catch up with that moment, but the prologue is not part of the final chapter. Thanks again,, right now I'm almost over with writing chapter 5 an the #4 is close to be read to post. It should be there by Friday or the latest saturday. sacha a.k.a. frenchcanadian Link to comment
C James Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Thanks for the comment CJ! It is indeed kinda rough and certainly not given to everyone. hehehe! I knew I'd have my revenge on you, oh my dear goat friend,,, "I can't comment on future event."! All jokes aside, I can tell that Chris will be playing a central part to the story as it goes on. Another thing that I guess I can say is to confirm that the prologue (ch1) is set after the events of the following chapters. Eventually the story will catch up with that moment, but the prologue is not part of the final chapter. Thanks again,, right now I'm almost over with writing chapter 5 an the #4 is close to be read to post. It should be there by Friday or the latest saturday. sacha a.k.a. frenchcanadian I like the way you did the prologue. My one suggestion is that you might want to make it clearer in the prologue chapter itself that it's set in the future. You're going great! Link to comment
Site Administrator wildone Posted December 13, 2007 Site Administrator Share Posted December 13, 2007 Hey, Sorry I didn't comment sooner, but better late than never. First off, great job so far. I was a little confused until I read your clarification in the previous post about the prologue being the first chapter. Unfortunately, I was unsure if it was a future event, or they were already together, and this was just a break between them seeing each others. But I was pretty sure it was foreshadowing especially after the video chat scene. I like the way you have given a little bit of development of each character, without using a whole chapter dedicated to them. You have also created some dynamics between them that make me want to read more. It is cool that Brendan is accepting of Andrew and was freaked out by his staring incident at the pool. Also, it sounds like Chris is a great little brother for Jamie. It will be interesting to see how Nick will come to play in the whole situation. When Andrew professed that he was falling for Jamie, it seemed Jamie didn't really come right out and say the same thing back, and then he seems to be interested in Nick as well. It also seemed that Andrew maybe expressed some jealousy towards Nick, where Jamie did not seem jealous at all about Brendan. Like I said, interesting dynamics that will be hopefully exposed more in future chapters. Last thing that I'm hoping that you can clear up for me, how did they initially meet? Was it through the chat room? Looking forward to more. Steve Link to comment
FrenchCanadian Posted December 14, 2007 Author Share Posted December 14, 2007 Sorry I didn't comment sooner, but better late than never. First off, great job so far. It is never too late to make comment Thx I like the way you have given a little bit of development of each character, without using a whole chapter dedicated to them. You have also created some dynamics between them that make me want to read more. I didn't want, and still don't, to make a big chunk of character description. So, I'm leaving bits and pieces about them here and there. What I tried to do was, in chapter 2, to establish a general overview of how things are with Andrew and Jamie on their own and in chapter 3, how they act together. It is cool that Brendan is accepting of Andrew and was freaked out by his staring incident at the pool. Also, it sounds like Chris is a great little brother for Jamie. It will be interesting to see how Nick will come to play in the whole situation. When Andrew professed that he was falling for Jamie, it seemed Jamie didn't really come right out and say the same thing back, and then he seems to be interested in Nick as well. It also seemed that Andrew maybe expressed some jealousy towards Nick, where Jamie did not seem jealous at all about Brendan. You did read it good, Jamie didn't exactly said the same thing as clear as Andrew did. But I can say that at least Jamie does care for Andrew otherwise, well he wouldn't be talking as often as he does with Andrew. If Jamie is interested in Nick, well obviously I cannot confirm nor deny! But he does want to know more about him and be friends with him. Andrew being jealous towards Nick, from what we know of the first 3 chapters, possibly (I did say from what we know, so that's not a spoiler) Tho it's true that we haven't seen any sign of jealousy from Jamie about Brendan. But, I'd say with the details of ch 4 (that is now online HERE) there might be no reasons for him to be. Last thing that I'm hoping that you can clear up for me, how did they initially meet? Was it through the chat room? Ummm, that's a great question. I'll have to make it into the story, but I can tell you that it was online, and not exactly through a chat room but rather through a website. But yup, more details will have to come up on that. About the prologue, the mystery was done carefully on my end. I was careful not to give away things that you'll all find out later on. And the first video-chat scene is where you can first realize that the prologue is foreshadowing. Chapter 4 is up as I post this. chapter 5 should come, around next wednesday at the latest. If you guys have any other question or theories keep them coming, as you can now guess, I enjoy discussing about them Link to comment
Site Administrator wildone Posted December 14, 2007 Site Administrator Share Posted December 14, 2007 Hey, this is a great system!! I post a question for you, and you post a new chapter to reply . Now for my big question for chapter 4....Has CJ influenced you into ending your chapters from now on with a cliffhanger . To leave us without knowing what Nick is going to tell Jamie is just cruel. Also now we have to wait to find out how the chat Jamie has with Chris, and will Andrew spill the beans about the upcoming chat to Chris before Jamie has a chance to talk to him, when Chris chats with Andrew. Whew, I'm being left hanging here . If I can give one tinny weeny suggestion. I don't know if you have enlisted the help of and editor, beta reader and zeta reader, but I have noticed sometimes one characters name in place of the character that it really should be. An example is at the end of the chapter: It seemed like Nicholas was too preoccupied with staring and analyzing Jamie to talk. At least Andrew had kept the radio on to fill the silence. I'm assuming Andrew wasn't in the car when Jamie and Nick were driving back to Nick's house. Please don't think of it as criticism, as it is a very minor thing, but I seem to recall that happening once before. Great chapter, and yes, I will be waiting for more. Steve Link to comment
FrenchCanadian Posted December 14, 2007 Author Share Posted December 14, 2007 Steve, Hey, this is a great system!! I post a question for you, and you post a new chapter to reply . hehe, I agree it's a good system, it was all ready. Sadly, I can't do the same for you today. Now for my big question for chapter 4....Has CJ influenced you into ending your chapters from now on with a cliffhanger oups, well I think it won't be a big surprise that Jamie will spend some time at Nick's place. will Andrew spill the beans about the upcoming chat to Chris before Jamie has a chance to talk to him, when Chris chats with Andrew well, ummm, I can't really comment, but, that is a good thing to be wondering. I can say tho that you won't have to wait for long, you will find out in the second part of chapter 5 If I can give one tinny weeny suggestion. I don't know if you have enlisted the help of and editor, beta reader and zeta reader, but I have noticed sometimes one characters name in place of the character that it really should be. An example is at the end of the chapter But of course you can give as many suggestions you want, just like you can certainly (all) gives comment about if I should clarify certain points in upcoming chapters. Also, it gives me the perfect plug to thx my editor again. he's doing a great job with coping with my mistakes and to make an okay text into a good one. I did made the correction of that one. Looking in my original chapter it was alright and appeared the edition process, well I missed that one in my final reading. It's my entire fault. I don't have beta nor zeta reader yet. tho if interested, well tell me! Great chapter, and yes, I will be waiting for more. chapter 5 just started the edition process it hope it will be ready in the first half of next week. I'll be finish with my finals tomorrow therefore I'll be able to get back to my full speed of writing sacha a.k.a frenchcanadian Link to comment
scoopny Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 (edited) This is such a sweet story so far. I can relate to these characters. I especially liked the part where Brendan tells Andrew he knows Andrew is gay and that's really no big deal. It's such a relief when your best friend accepts you without question. Or when Andrew and Jamie try to figure out how to approach Chris and tell him it's okay if he's gay too. I l I'm curious about what secrets Nicholas is hiding. He seems to have some real pain inside him that he can't let go of. And I agree, you really love the cliffhangers. Now I know Andrew is in Montreal or the suburbs where exactly is Jamie? I like the fact I have questions, I'm looking forward to see how your story answers them. Edited December 17, 2007 by scoopny Link to comment
FrenchCanadian Posted December 17, 2007 Author Share Posted December 17, 2007 This is such a sweet story so far. I can relate to these characters. I especially liked the part where Brendan tells Andrew he knows Andrew is gay and that's really no big deal. It's such a relief when your best friend accepts you without question. Or when Andrew and Jamie try to figure out how to approach Chris and tell him it's okay if he's gay too. I'm curious about what secrets Nicholas is hiding. He seems to have some real pain inside him that he can't let go of. And I agree, you really love the cliffhangers. Now I know Andrew is in Montreal or the suburbs where exactly is Jamie? I like the fact I have questions, I'm looking forward to see how your story answers them. Glad to see that I've finally managed to get you posting! And that you did post in my story discussion first too What nicholas is hiding?! Umm, I think I already told you, oh master of my correct writing, he's was convicted of murder , LOL, nah! don't think so. You'll know when he'll be ready do unveil it by himself. now, now, now, the end of chapter 4 wasn't a cliffhanger! at least not a big one, just enough to keep people reading. Maybe CJ is my role model for that, lol Where Jamie is, and by extent where Nick and chris,, we at least know from the prologue that it's at a driving distance, but that it's a good day of driving.. You'll find it out in the story in due time. Link to comment
scoopny Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Glad to see that I've finally managed to get you posting! And that you did post in my story discussion first too What nicholas is hiding?! Umm, I think I already told you, oh master of my correct writing, he's was convicted of murder , LOL, nah! don't think so. You'll know when he'll be ready do unveil it by himself. Of course I would post here first and I guess I've been outed... as your master. Hmm, I like the sound of that. Link to comment
C James Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 now, now, now, the end of chapter 4 wasn't a cliffhanger! at least not a big one, just enough to keep people reading. Maybe CJ is my role model for that, lol That was a cliffhanger!! And what? Me? A role model? But I never use cliffhangers. Looking forward to Ch 5 <hint, hint!> Link to comment
FrenchCanadian Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 That was a cliffhanger!! And what? Me? A role model? But I never use cliffhangers. Looking forward to Ch 5 <hint, hint!> the end of chapter 4?!? cliffhanger, really? But they just arrived in front of Nick's house! If that is a cliffhanger,, This is called making sure that readers will come back for the next chapter!!! how do you classify the end of chapter 5? For all those looking forward to what will happen next,, chapter 5 is out and can be found right Here Chapter 6, is in the hands of scoopny for the editing it should be good to be posted this weekend. Link to comment
scoopny Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 This weekend? Hehe.... Yeah I'll get to it by then. One more exam and I'm done! Link to comment
Site Administrator wildone Posted December 20, 2007 Site Administrator Share Posted December 20, 2007 Wow, great chapter . So we now know a little bit more about Nick. If I was a gambling man, I would bet on Nick being gay and that is the reason behind the seperation of his parents. Obviously his Dad was uncool with it, and didn't want his brother to be around him either. But that is just me guessing . Now Chris and Andrew. OMG. What was Andrew thinking !! Yes it was indeed a very hot scene, but right after saying that he wasn't jealous of Jamie being at Nick's, he provides something for Jamie to be jealous about. Yikes. It looks like there could be some very interesting chapters ahead. Great job Sacha! Steve Link to comment
FrenchCanadian Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 Wow, great chapter . So we now know a little bit more about Nick. If I was a gambling man, I would bet on Nick being gay and that is the reason behind the seperation of his parents. Obviously his Dad was uncool with it, and didn't want his brother to be around him either. But that is just me guessing . Now Chris and Andrew. OMG. What was Andrew thinking !! Yes it was indeed a very hot scene, but right after saying that he wasn't jealous of Jamie being at Nick's, he provides something for Jamie to be jealous about. Yikes. It looks like there could be some very interesting chapters ahead. Great job Sacha! Steve Hey thx Steve, I certainly like the way you're thinking, you have some good guts feeling. Your arguments certainly do hold. Hopefully things aren't too obvious. I just wonder if is brother, Evan, wanted to stay with their dad. What about Chris and Andrews? What's to be jealous about? *all* Jamie did is looking at a very naked Chris, alright when we left him he had some difficulties not to jerk off. Bah, you might be right, it looks like there could be some very interesting chapters ahead. like Andrew said : Andrew was fast to reply. Link to comment
scoopny Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Brendan is pretty funny, I like him. And I like how Brendan has fun around Andrew. It's good to have a straight character like that who isn't wigged about whenever his friend does something gay. My only question is this (and it's purely because you know I like to tease Frenchcanadian): When are these boys going to have sex in person? Link to comment
FrenchCanadian Posted December 21, 2007 Author Share Posted December 21, 2007 Brendan is pretty funny, I like him. And I like how Brendan has fun around Andrew. It's good to have a straight character like that who isn't wigged about whenever his friend does something gay. Well Brendan is pretty cool with everything, He's one of those that are alright with the coming out of someone he knows from the start; someone that doesn't need time to adjust. He'd be able to have a full discussion about gay sex graphic enough and he wouldn't be all grossed off. sacha post scriptum : I'm telling you, again, if you keep asking that question about having sex in person, I'll write Brendan and Nancy having sex. Link to comment
scoopny Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 If you did that to me, I'd just do a few edits and turn Brendan gay. ;-) Link to comment
C James Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Great chapter! I share the concerns regarding Chris and Andrew. Oh, and Jamie and Nickolas too. I think there's trouble brewing... I also fully agree that's it's great to see an accepting, fun, straight guy! CJ Link to comment
Jack Frost Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 Il me faut me rappeler de lire son histoire, mon ti-gars qu Link to comment
FrenchCanadian Posted December 24, 2007 Author Share Posted December 24, 2007 If you did that to me, I'd just do a few edits and turn Brendan gay. ;-) you know you wouldn't do that.... actually at one point I had planned him to turn out gay and have sex with Andrew for some reason but I thought it would be borderline cliche, so well to make sure that nothing would happen, at least for now, came the character of Nancy!! Great chapter! I share the concerns regarding Chris and Andrew. Oh, and Jamie and Nickolas too. I think there's trouble brewing... I also fully agree that's it's great to see an accepting, fun, straight guy! CJ Thx big time And they haven't done anything "wrong" just yet,, poor Chris and Andrew. About Nick, well I think I said it to someone,, he's not all that good and he's not all that bad. In fact, all of my character are human capable of good thing just as much as making bad choices. you can now all know some more about what's happening next as chapter 6 is now online you can read it HERE you'll all get some answers about Nicholas, at least some of them, that you've been wondering about. chapter 7 will be up at some point by the end of the week, friday or at the latest by next weekend. sacha a.k.a frenchcanadian Link to comment
C James Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 you know you wouldn't do that.... actually at one point I had planned him to turn out gay and have sex with Andrew for some reason but I thought it would be borderline cliche, so well to make sure that nothing would happen, at least for now, came the character of Nancy!! Thx big time And they haven't done anything "wrong" just yet,, poor Chris and Andrew. About Nick, well I think I said it to someone,, he's not all that good and he's not all that bad. In fact, all of my character are human capable of good thing just as much as making bad choices. you can now all know some more about what's happening next as chapter 6 is now online you can read it HERE you'll all get some answers about Nicholas, at least some of them, that you've been wondering about. chapter 7 will be up at some point by the end of the week, friday or at the latest by next weekend. sacha a.k.a frenchcanadian Yet being the operative term! I think they've definitly crossed the line now... Hrmmm, now, Chris has sure put his foot in it, hasn't he? And right at the very end of the chapter, too. Now, I'm not saying what this is (not after you were so nice in my forum) but, Umm, I'll be dangling by my fingernails for a while. Link to comment
scoopny Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 Yet being the operative term! I think they've definitly crossed the line now... Hrmmm, now, Chris has sure put his foot in it, hasn't he? And right at the very end of the chapter, too. Now, I'm not saying what this is (not after you were so nice in my forum) but, Umm, I'll be dangling by my fingernails for a while. Ahhh the Perils of Pauline. It's a good movie, a classic, introduced a new term to the lexicon. And yeah I agree I don't think Andrew and Chris have done anything "wrong" but clearly if I were Jamie I'd be like "could you not cam with my BF, mmkay?" you know you wouldn't do that.... One of these days I'm gonna surprise you! I'm not that predictable. Link to comment
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