Cia

I like the little bits of the family history you wove into the story, that was good. I'm glad Luke had Cathy to come take care of him since it seems like they don't have much family otherwise. I would have liked a better visual of what Luke looked like when he played. Good luck on finding an editor and/or beta. I did see a few places with missing words/awkward phrasing that a team could help you with. The other thing to consider is what pov perspective you are using. I know you're using third person, but are you intending omniscient or limited? If you intend to show all the character's thoughts in the story that's fine, but if you plan to just use one characters at a time, or for the whole story you'll need to consider and revise for the head hopping you are doing between Luke and Cathy. I've found it hard to do but I prefer to use one character at a time when writing to showcase their thoughts and emotions, it's less confusing for readers but ends up just being a style choice an author has to make for their story.

Congrats Nephy!! I'm so glad you found a great publisher (thanks for the tip, looking into them soon) and you've made this step. I've always said you should be published and I'm glad to see it finally happening!

Ah well, I have to do something with the voices swirling in my head don't I? Otherwise I might go insane... or is that insaner? Is that a word? Maybe in one of the worlds in my head, I guess, lol! I'm glad you liked the story, this is one of my favorite genres to read too. I love being creative so writing is a lot of fun; its made better by having such great feedback from readers. Thanks so much for the review!

Yep, we ladies don't peak at 18 like men do, we just get better and better with age! LOL Keeping with the sex questions... Have you ever had sex in a room with other people in it?

For those interested, I updated Pricolici and changed the ending, adding a few thousand words. I am trying to clean up older stories; do some re-writes, finish my ongoing and on hold projects and just generally make my stories here on GA as great as I can make them. I added some small changes here and there but you'll really notice the mating and claiming ceremony. I hope you enjoy the new ending!

Just a lion on my ankle. I'm a Leo after all. Would you ever pierce anything naughty? Or have you?

For you From Me

Red hair, green/blue eyes, freckles, round nose, chubby squirrel cheeks... that's me If you could have plastic surgery, no cost involved, would you and what would you have done?

Man... that's hard! Depends on the genders of the other people! If it were women, Scarlett Johannson and Jessica Alba, gods they're hot. If it were guys... Vin Diesel and Tatum Channing, both totally lickable. If I had to pick one of each... Vin Diesel and Jessica Alba. Yum!! What is your go to 'make me feel better' treat? The one thing that makes you forget and feel good no matter what is happening in your life to stress you out.

I like the story, you added quite a bit of emotion to the beginning which is a good way to hook readers. I understand the emotional progression in Luke but the aunt thew me. You said that Luke's mom was cheerful woman always humming. Then you said the aunt was just like her and the beginning introduction about her being happy for him playing seemed to support that. But then you said she was hot headed and never lost a pissing content and her actions over the food/drinks supported that personality. It was a hard mix to pin down her character with because most people's personalities don't shift that fast. I'd just keep an eye on that as you continue the story. Thanks for sharing!

No, but really are any of us truly happy with who we are at any time? There are always things we'd change even if it's small stuff. I don't worry too much about it; I'm not 'unhappy' about who am I for the most part. What is your all time favorite trip you've been on in your life?

Yes, because obviously without the puppy in the picture we would all run screaming from our computers Silly man, it's a good picture.

Do I get to pick what I prefer? I live outside a city, it has a town feel, I grew up in the country and I love spending time in the wilderness. This is one of my favorite places. Have you ever killed an animal?

"He believes that we are our brother's keepers and are keepers of our own lives; that we are responsible persons and the job is here and the time is now.” This is a quote from a speech made during a trial about removing the Lord's Prayer from schools, where much was made about atheism. The comments made detail my beliefs in an eloquent fashion better than I ever could. It sums up the fact that it is our job to make our lives better and to improve the lives of our fellow man to the best of our ability, not just assume that some amorphous being will do it for us. It says WE are the ones accountable for our happiness. I like that. What is the one sexual thing you want to try but haven't been brave enough to admit to a partner?

Ouch... now that's not cool. That's not a simple emotion of jealousy, that's hurt on top of it. I'd probably slap the crap out of anyone from my hubby's past that had approached me like that, simply because I'm a tad possessive. How much worse do you think it would be if you didn't care at all what they said? I think it'd be way worse. At least it shows you care, as long as you don't go all violent or nasty; jealousy can be healthy to an extent.

Congrats on leaving behind lurker status Chibi! Welcome to the fray! I'm one of the folks you can ask if you have any troubles with GA stories. My pm box is always open and I can usually be found in chat at least once a day. Hi Star! Welcome to GA. Good luck on the new story and thanks for joining!

Hi Terry, thanks for reading and commenting. I do hae notes for this. Currently I'm working on finishing up my one ongoing story and revising and completing old ones. So yes, this will be finished but unfortunately I can't give you a specific date. Sorry I can pm you if you like when it gets updated

Physically? My eyes, they's awful pretty Personality wise? I try to care, really try, for those I consider 'mine'. Friends, family... If I can be there for someone I will but I'll bend over backwards if you're one of mine. Do you still like to watch cartoons? Which ones?

Awww, I've been known to crash friend's places for their computers when mine has gone down. Thank heavens for having 2 now! Good luck on your forced break

Literotica has quite a few authors that go beyond the erotica to provide you with a great story as well. It's not as bad as Nifty for sifting through the PWP stories though there are quite a bit of those as well. Robcub32 A lot of bear/twink stories but they encompass a wide variety of genres. His latest, Timber Pack Chronciles was a HS werewolf story that was quite interesting. Nomoretears00 Has recently started posting some here on GA but I love her story The Harvest. Warning: Includes mpreg in the story but is execptionally well done so it's not as freaky as I've seen before. DWSimon Love these stories. My fav is Sweet Southern Comfort. Anyway, just check the Gay hall of fame over there for othe reading choices. There are many other categories as well. They have a great 'similar stories' set of links based on tags at the end of every story/chapter which is useful software. There are more I really enjoy but those stand out to the point where I've learned the authors name and read all their stories posted.

I like that you left it open about what he was going to talk to his parents about. I don't think seeing Matty's story and knowing what happened to him was his fault, that he was abused that bad by those in his life, would make him want to admit to his parents that he was gay. Maybe he wanted to admit to his part in what happened? That'd be a first way to see if his parents would really react the way he thought. I'm not quite sure how the colostomy fits into the abuse you mentioned though. If the beating occured in the lunch room I can't see him getting that damaged. That was only one small part of the story though, so it wasn't a big deal. This was a nice flash piece, one I could see you put some thought into. Overall, nicely done.

Happy Birthday!!

I'm glad. Thanks so much for commenting and letting me know!

Very few of my stories have characters jumping into bed with each other. Sex has its place but this story it wasn't the point, it was the connection and the draw between two people. Unless I'm writing fantasy I try to hold true to real life when it comes to building relationships between my characters. Most couples don't start as one night stands, after all. I'm glad you enjoyed reading Changing Focus, thanks so much for reviewing!

Awww, thanks! I guess I'm not quite mainstream since I'm bi but on the surface I live the straight life. You know, Josh is my hubby's name, lol. I've read different blogs but I'm not active in this sort of medium myself. Sometimes I comment, sometimes I don't. The C.I.A. jokes are pretty common, lol, but Cia actually comes from my real name; it's Alicia. I've had Cia as part of my nickname since I was a baby and it's just stuck for some people. Though don't think we moms don't have our spy-ish ways... It's our job to know everything, lol. So maybe it fits a bit!