Nephy, being different from most of the people around you is not what describes you best. In my eyes you are rare diamond, pure golden, just special. Never ever forget that! You really have every reason to hold your head up high and be broud of who you are and how you live your life. You are a good mum, amazing author, great friend to us, beautiful in my eyes. If you are worried for things outside, there are people who see the whole you.
Your lover is gonna have to be just as special as you, you don't have to settle. As for how to find him/her, I really have no answers.
As for the friends issue, I think the world has become smaller and friends that seem to be far away are closer than the ones we meet daily. I never ever thought I'd find you.
I just adore you Neph.