starboardtack
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Everything posted by starboardtack
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It is great. I am so looking forward to encountering/re-encountering this story. Thank you for being so willing to change.
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Superb writing -- I was so caught up that I felt myself getting increasingly tense as dinner progressed all the way through the very last scene. Very few authors can do that do me.
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You are a hero! (I cant blame the iPad entirely — starting to get old man’s eyes 🙄😂). Looking dorward to continuing reading.
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I started reading this story and while it looks like it will be good, I find it very difficult to read the font you are using when using my iPad.. Any chance of changing up or accessing the Readers View function (I have no idea how that works but it would be very helpful.) I really do want to give this story a fair shot.
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Hot -- very very hot. You got the pacing just right!
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Perfect ending to a beautifully written story. Many thanks.
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Between the Tension was a super read and this is developing into one equally as good. Clever how you worked the reconnection of the men through Chloe. I also like how when your say, through your character, that sex comes only after relationship, you honor that and don't have your characters "overwhelmed by their unquenchable desires" or some such nonsense. Shows a lot of respect for your characters and your readers.
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I started this series several times and for some reason I could not get into it. I gave it another try today and it is now 1:30 am and I have read every chapter written so far. Painful, powerful, frustrating, authentic. An excellent read. I eagerly anticipate your next installment.
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Good chapter -- I especially liked the way you were able to weave into the story reminders of who the different characters are and their relationships with each other. This is especially important in the serial format as it is easy for readers to forget who is who, especially as the list of personalities and the number of installments grow. I wish more writers would do that. It helped reconnect me to the narrative. One edit issue -- Adam says he was "excepted" into the family which is almost the opposite of the message you intended to convey -- that he was "accepted" into the family. Very minor point as your writings, overall, are beautifully edited.
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Hot as hell and FUN.
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Thank you for the Christmas gift.
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Very authentic -- brought tears to my eyes. Please don't keep us waiting too long lol.
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Another excellent chapter -- avoiding the cliches and the easy story lines for something rich and satisfying.
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This is a hard story to read. Not because of the writing but because of the content. I offer that as a compliment, not a criticism. Please keep the story challenging. I look forward to seeing where you go with this. One question -- if your character has a dishonorable discharge, especially drug related -- would he ever be able to get a job as a paramedic?
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Fun read. Andy definitely is a keeper!
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The Musician (Part 1)
starboardtack commented on FlyOnTheWall's story chapter in The Musician (Part 1)
This chapter was like fine dining. A banquet at which you just manage to not over eat and regret the whole thing. Marvelous chapter. -
This story is developing beautifully. You haven't taken any easy outs or gone for cliche solutions. This is a testament to your ability as a writer and thinker. I am looking forward to the next installment.
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I am glad to see you continuing this story. You have a good head for plot and a good ear for dialogue as was clearly evident in Stitcher. The sex scenes were erotic, playful, and occasionally bordering on the delightfully sleazy. My feeling about the sex dialogue in this chapter is that it reads more like what you would hear in a cheap porn film -- fill me with your jock cock, etc -- does not ring true in light of how you have handled the language of sex in your previous work. I look forward to how you proceed with this story -- you do good work.
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Thanks for a great story.
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Interesting beginning. Makes me want to read more.
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Good start that makes me want to read more. You did a good job of avoiding cliches and easy outs in Brittle so I look forward to more quality story development and writing.
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So great to have you and your boys back!!
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Ok, my son is wondering why I am sitting on the couch with tears running down my cheeks. ❤️❤️
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Thanks for this very soul-filled story.
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This is a brilliant start -- so much so it made me quite uncomfortable as I am closer to identifying with your protagonist that's I am with the millennials. I would be curious to see where you would take this if you continued. My only concern is that if the chapters to come are as heavy as this one -- and I am not looking for romantic fluff, only a chance to take a breath -- it would be hard to continue reading much more. Thank you for putting this out there.
