starboardtack
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Everything posted by starboardtack
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Chapter 20 Epilogue: The Promised Land
starboardtack commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 20 Epilogue: The Promised Land
This lovely and loving ending was a welcome antidote to the tragic ending of Brokeback Mountain. If memory serves, at the very beginning of this story you were concerned about dialect — I think you did a good job with both dialect and dialogue. Many thanks for a good story. -
I look forward to reading that companion story!
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I have been learning about kintsugi recently. That is the Japanese art of taking a broken object and repairing it such that the breaks and cracks are highlighted with gold rather than hidden. This makes the object even more meaningful, stronger, and more beautiful. All I could do while reading the story is think how that cup could be made whole again, with its wounds and flaws make an organic part of the whole. Then I thought about the broken relationship in your story and wondered whether there is a human version of kintsugi.
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Your Breakfast is My Dinner
starboardtack commented on astone2292's story chapter in Your Breakfast is My Dinner
I cannot string together enough superlatives to express how much I enjoyed and learned from this chapter as a whole but especially when you were describing your co-workers. This is turning out to be a great read! Many thanks. -
It is so great to have this "family" back. I am so looking forward to this story.
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Chapter 17 Lessons Learned
starboardtack commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 17 Lessons Learned
Enjoyed this chapter and for some reason, these are my favorite lines: "Coy looked up at him with eyes sparkling. “This is fun, sure enough.” Boone almost choked when laughter bubbled up at the man’s happy expression, and he fell in love with him just a little bit more. “Glad you’re enjoying yourself.”" Maybe it is the sense of wonder that can be a part of first encounters and discoveries. Nice writing. -
You are back! What a great way to start the New Year. This is promising to be a very interesting journey with Lee and the others. Looking forward to spending time with you and with them.
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Why do I have a suspicion that Havnar is not so innocent in all this? After all, he wants to cleanse the earth of humans and this just moves his agenda forward. Hmmmm.
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Chapter 4 - The Journey
starboardtack commented on Lenny Bruce's story chapter in Chapter 4 - The Journey
This was an extraordinarily hard chapter to get through — so much pain! So very real. -
This is an incredible beginning — sensitive, evocative. Strong character development and storytelling. I am looking forward to reading more.
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This is really good. I hope you do not go in the direction of the cliche in which Liam has a life threatening accident and Dylan has a flash of insight that he really does still love him and they live happily ever after. You have such a good beginning here — it would be a shame to waste it.
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I am struggling with the decision to hit print and turn it in. It feels too rushed and contrived. There is no basis for Zack making himself so vulnerable to a teacher who he does not trust, indeed a teacher he believes has it in for him. The device that it is supposed to be a work of fiction he is turning in does not overcome this. Don׳t get me wrong — this is a fantastic story. It is so very real and honest. I just am not sure about this choice point. Nevertheless, I am very much looking forward to future installments.
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Chapter 21 - This Was My Life
starboardtack commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Chapter 21 - This Was My Life
Thank you for an intelligent, fun, sexy read.- 57 comments
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Chapter 7 The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
starboardtack commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 7 The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Fantastic imagery.- 114 comments
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Chapter 18 - Where Penn Confronts Everyone
starboardtack commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Chapter 18 - Where Penn Confronts Everyone
Great chapter -
Your writing skills — imagery, attention to detail, descriptions, staying true to your story line — are excellent. Thank you for treating your craft with such respect. I also appreciate they way you handled Sawyer’s in-breaking awareness of the events and changes he is experiencing. You could have had him react with horror, aggression, or rejection, but you did not fall into the use of horror movie cliches or tropes associated with the genre. You kept Sawyer true to his history of radical honesty and self-awareness. I am looking forward to seeing how these characters develop and grow.
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I assume the repeat of text at the end of this chapter was intentional. Whether intentional or not, it was a very effective device. A very well written chapter. One observation — I am not a fan of overly precocious child characters. Their roles tend to be carried too far and, for me, Sam is beginning to detract from the story. Yeah, I know I am going to catch hell for that but, I promise you, I am not a Scrooge! I do love kids. Especially mine.
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Chapter 17 - When game night isn't so fun
starboardtack commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Chapter 17 - When game night isn't so fun
Nash calling out the family was a good way to go with this part of the story. Nice job.- 24 comments
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Parts of this chapter had a very Walt Whitman Leaves of Grass, I Sing the Body Electric feel. You did a masterful job writing this chapter.
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This was the most heartfelt, sensitive chapter so far. The conversation between Betty and Aric was so loving but it seems unfair to single out that moment because there are others as well in this chapter. This story is so rich. Thank you.
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A hard chapter to read but an excellent one.
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Ummmmm......... WOW. I am intrigued as to how absorbing the demons will impact Chris and the story line. Curiouser and Curiouser
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I, for one, keep searching for stories set in the West and am so pleased you have written another story in this genre. Not only do I enjoy the genre but I enjoy your writing as well. Keep 'em coming. And thanks.
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“Oh the tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive.”
