starboardtack
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Everything posted by starboardtack
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I really liked the underlying story (especially the "problems" paragraph) but your use of dialect came across as inauthentic. It seemed inconsistent with the vocabulary you attributed to your main character. I would love to reread this without the dialect.
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Glad to hear Mark is okay and to restart this saga. Any chance of getting a synopsis or a cast of characters and an update on the important ones so that we can fully appreciate what is happening now?
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Good to have you back and to catch up with “old friends.”
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Jimbo and the Doctor Visit
starboardtack commented on Mac Rountree's story chapter in Jimbo and the Doctor Visit
Or are you relying on J ames. ro BER t as gever? -
Jimbo and the Doctor Visit
starboardtack commented on Mac Rountree's story chapter in Jimbo and the Doctor Visit
When you say that Jimbo in Hebrew refers to someone who is fearless are you deriving that from “gever” or “gibor” (JI m ro BER t) or another word? -
A Story I Was Told Last Christmas
starboardtack commented on RichEisbrouch's story chapter in A Story I Was Told Last Christmas
That last line pulled everything together so beautifully. Without it, it would have been just another story, a good one but one of many. The last line made it special. -
Looking forward to reading this as you add to these first three chapters.
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Did not see that coming. Good chapter!
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Hope, Loss, and Tears
starboardtack commented on FlyOnTheWall's story chapter in Hope, Loss, and Tears
Keep writing!!!!!!!!! -
Wonderful story in every way,
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This is pretty damned intriguing!!!! (And that is a good thing LOL).
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This looks like a hard read. That is not a bad thing at all. Hard work, good fruit. Interested in seeing what comes next.
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Great two chapters. I love your ability to convey both internal and external turmoil. Can’t wait to see what’s next. (Btw, there is just something about Charles that I really like. He may seem to be a secondary character but he has the potential to play a major role in the lives of these two men. I hope you find one for him.)
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You ar e a consummate storyteller -- and your descriptions bring it all to life.
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Chapter 1 - Riding the Beast
starboardtack commented on Wayne Gray's story chapter in Chapter 1 - Riding the Beast
Holy sh#! -- totally unexpected and hot.! -
You've got me hooked -- yet again. 👍👍👍
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To Everything There Is A Season
starboardtack commented on Mikiesboy's story chapter in To Everything There Is A Season
Nice job all of he way through b'y.- 71 comments
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You.did way better than okay.
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While Noah and Jordan may Ben leaving, ya'll don't be a stranger. Come back soon. Looking forward to reading more of your work. Thank you for several very enjoyable weeks. Y'heah????
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Great ending. Don’t be a stranger!
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Wonderful chapter. Smart, well written, good dialogue. FWIW, I think having Noah's mother come around would be the easy way out. Think how interesting a story line would be if they had to navigate family relationships and interactions with mom staying true to her convictions. Not easy but certainly rich.
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One of the best chapters I have read anywhere. You captured the moments beautifully. Also, thank you for conveying the beauty of the dialect. I loved it.
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Chapter 23- We had the same blue eyes
starboardtack commented on Another Gay Writer's story chapter in Chapter 23- We had the same blue eyes
I guess when you wrote that Dad was not going to stick around you meant it! Great cliff hanger, not just as regards dad but as regards James, too. -
Powerful, nuanced, authentic
