Fae Briona

Visit to the cemetery went well, I think. It started to rain lightly as I was putting the flowers on his grave, which seemed somehow appropriate. It's only been a month so he has no headstone yet. I need to try and call the funeral home next week and see if they will tell me if the family has enough $ to cover the cost. I know I could just find his sis' number online, but I'm reluctant to do that for reasons I can't quite explain even to myself. Started grief counseling last night. Not sure how well that's going to go, but will give it a try. I have 6 free appointments through my work benefits. Logically, I know what I need to be doing; emotionally.... it's not so easy to actually do. Especially this morning. Trying to focus on our good times together, like our last date -- which the first time we kissed. Sitting in his car with my coat in my lap; had a sweet kiss & told him that he was so handsome. His doubt started to surface, so I took his hand and placed it on my lap under my coat; told him he could feel for himself that I meant what I said, and wasn't just saying it to be nice. His reaction to that, and his response, will always make me smile (no, I won't share what he said). For only being 70 miles apart, it was surprisingly difficult to get together (joked at one point the Universe was trying to keep us apart) but I will always treasure the few times we did have. Told mom I won't be up for long this Christmas: up Monday morning, coming home Tuesday afternoon. Just too soon for a happy joyous holiday celebration. And if my brother says something I'll have to keep myself from hurting him. Thank all of you for your expressions of support.

Sorry that Jordan's father hasn't changed.

Have a friend who will take me to the cemetery where C is burred tomorrow. Taking the spray of flowers to lay on his grave, along with a not-too-personal note. If I'd had more time, I would have had them get roses that were a bit more lavender than pink, and bit whiter than cream --- but considering this was essentially a rush, as I want to see him to say goodbye before Christmas, this will do. I still think it's lovely. Lots to say to him tomorrow. I hope that somewhere, he can hear me. I miss you baby; your Daddy will always miss his Boy.

Thank you. I'll just leave it as is. At least I did figure out how to create a blog.

Hot, sexy, wonderful, and touching story.

Is there a way for the mods to move my status update from yesterday (12/16) -- and the responses -- to my newly created Blog? Wasn't in the best mental state when I wrote that, so didn't think of creating a blog for it and other things at the time.

The "how to" video is broken, and clicking on "Forums" doesn't generate a drop-down list.

This is copied from a status update. Wasn't thinking clearly when I posted it, so put it there instead of here in the blog: My heart is broken this weekend. The man I had been dating off and on who lives about an hour away died last month -- and I just found out about it this Friday night; almost a month later. He works in retail and this is always a crazy time so not hearing from him for a bit wasn't unusual, but that bit got longer... then longer. When I sent him another txt on Friday evening it wouldn't go through, and something in the back of my mind said, "search online." That's when I found his obit. The day after we last talked he was the store getting groceries and collapsed. He died the next day of an aneurysm brought on by high blood pressure, which I know he had been treating. Funeral was just before Thanksgiving, and I missed it completely. wasn't even able to say goodbye. The biggest drawback of not being on any social media sites like Facebook. He was a private person, and I doubt he told his sister much about us; and without an online footprint how could she have found me? and if he didn't tell her, how would she have known to even look? He was my baby, my reason for being optimistic about the future; about our future together. We'd been taking things slow because he'd been burned so badly by his last relationship. We'd planned to get together after the holiday insanity passed; our first private time together -- all our other dates had been out in public, and we were limited to brief kisses and discretely holding hands (the joy of small town living in the South). I was finally going to tell him, "I love you" instead of just hinting around the edges. Now I'll never be able to do that. My only consolation is knowing that our last conversation we told each other that we made each other happy; something not easy for two people both fighting depression. I'm going to miss you my baby -- I already do, so so very much. "Daddy" is going to miss never being able to show his boy how much he meant to me. Never going to be able to hold you in my arms again, never taste your sweet lips on mine, never hold you close and snuggle up together. I love you C, and I always will. 😢 💔

You did say in this chapter that they were "going to be basically on the opposite sides of the country"

There's a "wiener" joke in there but I won't make it. 😉

Pond scene reminds me of the quote from Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde: "Do you really think...that it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations that it requires strength, strength and courage, to yield to. To stake all one's life on a single moment, to risk everything on one throw, whether the stake be power or pleasure, I care not - there is no weakness in that. There is a horrible, a terrible courage "

Freck and apathy: I've not done drugs but I've been seriously depressed, and I can agree that the absolute worst part of that is the apathy. And I had a friend who had quit smoking (tobacco); as long as he had a pack of cigarettes in his house he was fine - the knowledge that they were there if he really really needed them was what let him not smoke. If he didn't have any, he'd break and walk miles through the rain to find some.

" Then you would get lost, chased by a pack of wolves. It wouldn’t end well " -- laughed out loud when I read that paragraph

Interesting way to end the story - not entirely satisfactory. We never did see the karma that was promised to the guy he met on his first disastrous date.

Blue seems to be a recurring theme.

funny start to the chapter, but sad ending

Love that his new friends at work trust his judgement of his boss, even if he does "creep them out".

Wouldn't be mind reading because of the "wouldh't have worn white" comment Jonas barely heard in the last chapter. More like precognition.

Have to agree with Jonas -- there does seem to be some ethical issues with at least one of the items as described.

Opie seems intimidating enough when he's calm - can imagine he'd be outright terrifying when upset.

Started this ages ago but don't think I ever finished it. Re-reading it this morning.

I'd rather wait for a good, well-done chapter, than get a rushed one that was poorly written. Hope your schedules calm down some soon though -- being crazy busy isn't fun.

BUT - most importantly - they realized how honest Pips feeling were and aren't going to try to cause problems or interfere (at least in a negative way; parents always interfere)

A bit of a nitpick but... has a crew of 220 with emergency pods that only hold 168 (4x42)? Do the draw lots to see who the 52 people are who go down with the ship?

Agree with the boys - being surrounded by grinning beings with sharp fangs would be a bit intimidating, even if you knew it was a nice smile. Loved the story!!